Equilibrium
by Callay1981
Summary: Takes place after NM, E and B are preparing for college, when Alice starts having visions of E becoming human. However,when this happens, B finds herself in a situation in which she has to protect him.Will their relationship finally reach Equilibrium?
1. Chapter 1 Plans

I do not own Twilight or its' characters, Stephanie Meyer does

I know the first few chapters kind of go back and forth between characters, but the majority of the story is officially told by Bella with a few chapters here and there in Edward's perspective. (my favorite perspective!) It starts off kind of slow, but gets better, I promise. Let me know if I should post the rest of it! Thanks so much!

Ever since I had known Edward he had protected me and I had always wished that someday I could repay him. Little did I know that the day would come sooner than I had expected.

BPOV

Chapter 1

Plans

Edward and I had been together for a year or so by now with some separation in between. The time we had spent away from each other proved to be extremely detrimental to both of us and we had long since decided to never let it happen again. We focused now on the future, we would be graduating from high school within a month or so and we were trying to decide what to do. Edward, being that he was a one hundred year old vampire in a seventeen year-old-body had graduated many times, and gone to many different colleges as well. I, on the other hand, really was an eighteen year old who was graduating for the first time. Edward was pushing for me to go to college, which would have been my original plan, but now I was pushing for Edward to turn me into a vampire, take me into his family and whisk me away from my stupid, boring life in Forks Washington once and for all. Edward was vehemently opposed to my second option.

"Bella, when are you going to drop this? When are you going to drop this notion that your life would be better spent as a walking corpse?" Edward asked as he wrinkled his brow in frustration.

"Never," I said smiling at him.

"Aren't you even curious about college? The whole college experience? Expanding your horizons and all that?"

"No not really." I answered flatly

Edward sighed, exasperated, and got up from the table. He made a little circle around the small kitchen in my father's house and leaned up against the counter, staring at me with his arms crossed across his chest. He looked annoyed. "Bella, college has so much to offer someone like you. More than just an education, college makes you a well rounded person." He explained, in a very parental tone, "and you're telling me that you're not interested in any of it?"

I got up from the table and slinked over to where he was standing at the counter. "I think I'm a very well rounded person." I said taking either side of his jacket in my hands. He smiled his crooked smile that I couldn't resist and looked down at me. He took both sides of my face and kissed me.

"Besides," he said playing into my weaknesses, "if we went to college together we could have our own place and I could kiss you anytime I wanted to." He murmured.

"We can do that as vampires too." I whispered back

He let my face go and backed off, "and the mood has passed." This was a really touchy subject with Edward.

"Edward…"

"No Bella, seriously, I don't want to consider that right now. We'll have plenty of time to discuss that in the future; maybe while we're at college." He hinted.

I gave up and let out a big sigh, defeated, "fine. Fine, fine fine. I won't keep bringing it up. Okay, yeah, let's go to college together." I said, unenthused. "Where are we looking at this point?"

"What do you think about Alaska?" he asked. "We were both accepted there, there's a uniquely accommodating climate and plenty of hunting. Plus, if anything comes up we'll be far enough away from Charlie and Renee to have an excuse as to why we can't visit much."

I brightened up immediately at the prospect of finally getting what I wanted from him within the next four years. "You know what Edward? As long as you and I get to be together it doesn't matter to me where we go to college. Alaska it is." I said smiling at him.

"Excellent." He smiled with a satisfactory tone.

So it was decided that Edward and I would be heading off to college in the fall to Alaska. We spent the afternoon filling out all of the paperwork and writing our essays. Of course Edward finished first and then went on to proofread and correct my essay for me. As the evening started to approach, Edward had to head home for awhile to take care of some things but said that he would be back. At this point, Edward almost always spent every night in my room with me. I legitimately spent most of that time asleep, and I always wondered how he kept himself entertained for hours on end since he, himself, could not sleep. It didn't seem to matter though, whenever I woke up in the morning Edward was always there and seemed very content. I wouldn't mess with what I thought was perfection.

I spent the rest of my night cooking dinner for Charlie, watching TV with him and finishing up some leftover homework. By eleven, Charlie was asleep and I had showered, put on my pajamas and was sitting in my room waiting for Edward. He showed up almost immediately, his timing was uncanny.

"I gave Carlisle the news about Alaska; he's arranging to get us a place up there." Edward beamed as he fluidly entered through the open window.

"A place? Like an apartment or something?" I asked quirking an eyebrow, guess there was no backing out of this now.

"More like a house Bella." Edward explained as he flopped down on my bed resting his hands behind his head.

"A house, our own house, really?" I asked getting excited. I hopped onto the bed next to him bouncing slightly on my knees.

"Oh, so now you're excited about going to school? I just had to throw in a house to sweeten the deal?" He grinned.

"A house with you in it, if you're not in it then we have no deal." I paused for a minute. "Listen Edward, you're right. I should go to school and get an education and the whole 'college experience'." I said, making quotes with my fingers. "Honestly, it really was my plan all along, I just got…sidetracked. But I really want you to consider what I had asked for before…unless…you don't think you really want me around forever." I said softly. I looked down at the bed and I could feel him watching me.

It was quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking about how he wanted to phrase he next sentence carefully. Finally, he spoke. "Bella," he took my chin in his hand and gently turned it to face him. "Bella, there is nothing in this world that could keep me away from you for as long as I exist. I don't want to be anywhere you're not but it's selfish and reckless to end your life on account of me." He looked away from me without taking his hand off my chin. I hated when he got like this. I placed my hand over his and felt the iciness of it that was always there, no matter what time of year it was. "I want you to be able to enjoy your life," He continued. "Your mortality is more precious to me than anything else. I've tried tremendously hard to protect you… but then, to be the one who ends your life would destroy me." He dropped his hand from my face and looked away again.

"Edward, I don't look at this as the end of my life, I look at it as a beginning of the life I've always wished for."

"You shouldn't say that." He warned, "you don't know what's waiting on the other side for you. It could be more horrifying than you think."

"Not if it's you on the other side." I assured him.

"I can't love you the way a normal person can." He nearly choked on his statement. He looked very sad at that moment, like I had something that he couldn't have. As if! To me Edward had everything. He was the most brilliant person I knew, he could play music, he could _compose_ music, he was beautiful to look at, he was athletic, he had confidence in most things, and his character was infallible. All these qualities he chalked up to immortality, but I often felt that he had probably always been this way. I often would wonder what Edward had been like when he was alive; that if he was just some boy I met at school if he would dazzle me the way he did now. I always felt that he would have.

"No you can't." I said softly. I crawled over to him and leaned on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and looked into my eyes. "A normal person would have trouble with me, what with my accident proneness, and my stubbornness, and my emotional awkwardness. I need a person that is unselfish," I kissed his ear, "patient, kind" I kissed his jaw, "and soothing…" I rested my face against his collarbone "I need an extraordinary person to love me."

"You certainly do." He agreed sadly. He buried his nose in my hair and kissed me softly, rubbing my back. "You certainly do."

There was a moment or two of silence between us. I kept my head nestled in his hard chest and listened to him breathing. "So, tell me all about college." I started, "tell me all about what really goes on. Is it all about drinking and partying and hooking up just like in all those stupid teen movies?" I inquired lightly.

"It probably is, but I really never got a chance to take that all in at first hand. For obvious reasons…with all those drunken teenagers and twenty something's walking around, it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel." He said rolling his eyes and smirking."

"I betcha you could be a frat boy." I teased.

"Right, I'm sure I would blend very well."

"Think about it," I explained, "Your father is a doctor, your family is rich and powerful, you're charming and with your smoldering good looks and your grades, you could totally get in." Edward frowned at me; he looked like I had offended him. "I mean that as a compliment of course." I smiled at him like I was trying to make it up to him. He remained silent and just stared at me with his frowny expression. I continued to babble, "no, I take it back you wouldn't get in." Edward looked incredulous.

"Why not?" He asked, his smooth voice rising slightly.

"You're too brilliant and you're socially inept." I was quiet then waiting for some kind of smart ass response from Edward. He was a man of few words tonight but he didn't seem like he was upset about anything, he just seemed thoughtful, pensive. I still felt like I was talking to myself. "You're awfully quiet tonight. What are you thinking about?" This was a question that he and I often passed around to each other since neither of us could read the other one's thoughts as with most couples.

"I'm trying to remember college," he said dreamily looking up at the ceiling. I lay down on my back on the other side of the bed beside him and looked at the ceiling with him. He turned on his side resting his head on top of one of his arms and looked at me. "I honestly don't remember any of it really. But then again, I had a lot to protect and worry about when I was on my own."

I turned on my side and positioned myself the same way he was and looked at him. "So you went and lived away at college?" I asked.

"Multiple times."

"What were your majors?" I asked very interested. I looked over at my alarm clock and the time was near reaching midnight. I had to go to school the next day, but I didn't care, I just wanted to hear him speak and this was a subject that he didn't talk about very much; himself. He almost seemed embarrassed to do so. "Tell me something about you that I don't know," I pressed.

"Well," he said looking up at the ceiling as if trying to see his memory "medicine was first and foremost. Just like Carlisle I guess…I have two medical degrees."

"Didn't your peers think you seemed a little young?" I asked

"Well, yes at first, but then they accepted it as kind of like a Doogie Howser type thing." He smiled a big grin at me.

"Then what?" I asked dreamily. I must have seemed like a child listening to a bedroom story to him.

"Then I went to school for music theory and composition a few times. Some of the arts, and then I tried the lawyer route just for fun, that didn't last though, I dropped out, they were bloodsuckers; even worse than me." He grinned a stupid grin. "That was a joke Bella."

"I know." I said flatly.

"That was the extent of my college experience. I never went to parties, I never made friends, I never dated, I never did any of it."

"Why not?" I asked when I already knew the answer. I could just picture it, Edward, self denying, self sacrificing, in control Edward who had spent his entire existence trying to deny who he was to keep everyone safe. I could see him standing on a college campus, teeming with naïve, self gratifying young people crazed with their new found freedom. How easy it would have been for him to take someone away from all of it. A person who was away from parents, in overcrowded classrooms where no teacher would notice their absence, possibly intoxicated…And the women, might as well just ring a dinner bell. Edward could have any woman; sober or stoned and he probably could have persuaded her to go anywhere or do anything with him and she would oblige. He was so beautiful and charismatic; I had seen him get his way all the time by just turning up the charm an iota. Edward probably spent every day in angst trying to control his instincts while away at college and without his family as a support system it was probably even more difficult. No wonder he didn't get out much. I was surprised he wanted to go back. My run on thought was interrupted by his answer.

"I had to remain extremely focused while at school so I wouldn't slip up. My family, my sanity and my future all depended on my behavior while I was there. Not that anybody really ever invited me to do anything anyways. I kind of creeped people out. And I certainly had no interest in women or much of anything for that matter. I was a very different person before I met you."

"So I've been told." He smiled at me then and brushed my hair out of my face. My heart skipped a beat.

"You should get some sleep. We have a final tomorrow." He took my hand in his.

"Final schminal, I want you to tell more about yourself." I said sleepily.

"Bella, it's not like you don't know a million things about me already. Besides, I'm not going anywhere."

"Will you be here in the morning?"

"If you wish." He touched my face lightly. In light of a verbal response, I just smiled. He could read me so well. "Okay," he said pulling the blanket up over my shoulders. Then came the moment I always waited for, he leaned over, tilted my chin up to him and kissed me on my lips, long and soft, romantic…"I love you my Bella." He murmured. He reached behind me and switched off the lamp. He rolled over and lay on his back again on top of the covers while I was underneath. I would never get used to that. We always had the blanket to separate us because otherwise I would freeze against his frosty granite skin, one of the few downfalls of dating the undead, limited snuggling capacity. I sighed, silence, I looked at the clock, 12:30 and I wasn't tired at all.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you ever gotten drunk?"

The light snapped on without me even feeling him move. "What?!" he questioned testily.

"You heard me."

"Bella, what is bringing this on tonight?"

"Just thinking about the kind of atmosphere I may be taking on that's all." I said coolly. "These are things that may come up in the next four years or so and I just want to get an idea of your realm of expertise just so I know how to behave." Did I really just admit that? Did I just let Edward know that I was feeling a little insecure of how inexperienced a person I was? How sheltered my life had been from the other people of my/our generation? Maybe I just held him in such esteem that I didn't want to make myself look like a silly, petty, out of control person in front of him…ever.

"I really wish I could get inside your head, love." He said shaking his head. He sat up cross legged on the bed and looked at me. I adjusted myself so I was facing him.

"Right now I wish you could too."

"Really?" he asked, surprised, "that never happens." There was a long pause, "it's a good thing I don't need any sleep. Okay, yes I've been drunk a couple times."

"How many times?" why was I asking him this? Why did I care?

"Well, generally, a couple means two." He answered in a surly tone.

"Yes, generally" I was starting to get tired because now I was really sounding stupid.

"It was when I was mortal, so we're talking during prohibition practically."

"Oh how dangerous…" I said sarcastically

"Anyways, the first time it was half a bottle of bourbon and I got sick."

"And the second time?"

"And the second time it was half a bottle of bourbon and I got sick." I looked at him questioningly and he answered my gaze with "I had to be sure." He smiled crookedly at me and I started laughing at him and then he joined in. "It happened shortly after I had decided I was going to go to war when I turned eighteen. My mother and I got into a fight and I walked out and spent the evening with a friend of mine. We were feeling a little rowdy and worked up so we raided his parents buffet and found the bottle and split it. Next day I was so sick that I could barely function. The hangover passed and then we did the same thing the following weekend. We probably would have kept going on like that for awhile but my parents got sick and then so did I and we all know what happened after that. "

"So, did you enjoy it?"

"I liked the taste of it. It seemed sweet and syrupy to me. When I was alive, I had a bit of a sweet tooth. That's probably one of the reasons I'm so addicted to your scent, the sweetness of it, maybe it reminds me of when I was alive. Being intoxicated was pretty interesting too if I remember right. My friend had a plush carpet in his parlor and I remember I would lie on my back spread eagle and it would feel like the room was spinning and that I was melting into the floor. It was a great feeling, no cares, no inhibitions, yes; I guess I did enjoy it. I must have if I was going back to do it for a second time. "He said thoughtfully. I felt silly for feeling that brief panic of insecurity. I was more experienced than that. But who knows, maybe if Edward lived longer than he did, maybe…a shiver went through me.

"What about you?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh? Me? Oh yeah, um, I've been drunk a few times." I muttered

"Really miss?" he sounded amused. Now maybe it was time for me to share a story or two.

"I had a few wild friends in phoenix. I don't think I've really had a drink since I left there."

"Really," he asked, sitting up a little straighter, very interested now, "a few rowdy friends?" He thought for a minute. "Yes, I could see that." He grinned to himself and I saw him touch his tongue against one of his teeth like picturing me with a bunch of rowdy girls was giving him some kind of secret pleasure.

"It's not like we were the 'outsiders' or anything." I said with a laugh. "Wait, what do you mean you could see that?"

"Well, you always said that you kind of felt like the parent around Renee, like you were always humoring her and going along with her whims while keeping her feet on the ground. That's a lot of responsibility for a child, especially when the other parent is so far away. I could see you hanging around with a few irresponsible girls just so you could feel release. So you could lose control and act like a bratty kid for once." It was true, he was right. I always had been responsible, always been the one keeping everyone grounded, doing what was right for everyone else and slowly losing my mind in the process.

"You have an old soul Isabella Swan." Edward said as he took my hand in his and kissed it gently

"Not as old as yours, Edward Cullen." I murmured. He laughed softly and leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and just breathed in his sweet scent.

"You need sleep or you're not going to pass that final, you're not going to get into college and we'll be stuck in Forks forever. Well, at least I will be."

"You're right." I said to him as the clock hit one o'clock. "I need sleep." I waited for him to take his forehead off mine but he just stayed still, as if in a trance. Then he kissed my head and shut the light off. I fell asleep almost instantly.

I could not wake up the next morning to save my life. Edward had to wake me up in fact. As he had promised he had stayed through the night, not that there was a whole lot of night left to stay through by the time I was finished talking with him.

"Bella, Bella, love, you need to get up. We're going to be late for school." He was rubbing my back. I opened my eyes weakly and stared up at him. He smiled warmly at me.

"Hey." I said softly

"Hello. Sorry to wake you, I let you sleep in a little but you're going to be pushing it if you don't get up now." He said gently.

"Let's skip first period." I proposed.

"No."

"Come on, we're seniors!" I complained

"No. I made breakfast."

"Did you really?" Edward was watching a lot of food network online these days, since there was nothing else for him to do while I slept at night. He liked Rachel Ray a lot because she was 'vibrant and cooked quickly' he hated Giada because she 'insists upon herself' and Paula Dean just confused him with her dialect. As for Bobby Flay, well we had our own theories about him. "What'd you make?" I asked.

"Mushroom and spinach frittata," he said pleased with himself. "Get dressed and I'll grab it out of the oven. Meet you downstairs!" He quickly kissed my cheek and disappeared.

We got to school just in time to make it to our first class, I think Edward was a little cross at me for not getting enough sleep prior to our Biology final, but I didn't care, I knew the material like the back of my hand. Talking to him was more important to me anyways. I had to work after school, but then I was planning on going to the Cullen's for "dinner" or so I told Charlie. Better grab something to eat on the way…

When I arrived at the giant mansion in the woods, Jasper and Emmett were in the front yard playing football, surprisingly, no trees had been uprooted yet. I pulled my huge clunky red pickup truck up the driveway to the svelte house.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett waved; Jasper gave me a friendly nod.

"Hey guys." I called back as I headed inside.

Edward's mother Esme greeted me as I walked in the front door. She immediately came over and kissed me warmly on the cheek and embraced me tightly."Good evening Bella."

"Hi Esme!" before I could even ask where Edward was, I heard him playing his piano in the adjacent room. Esme gestured for me to join him.

"Hello beautiful." Edward said as a huge smile spread across his face. He was seated at a grand piano playing softly as he spoke. He played a tune that I couldn't recognize and I suspected it was something he may have written himself. I sat down beside him on the bench as he continued to play. "How was your final?"

"Probably would have gone better if I had gotten some sleep, but I still have confidence that I did fine." I said

He chuckled a little under his breath and said, "Well, that settles it then, I won't be coming over tonight, you need some sleep and you have a trig test coming up Wednesday."

"Yeah, you're probably right, maybe we should hold off on the sleepovers a little bit until school finishes up. I want to still be able to get into college this fall."

"Precisely." Edward said as he lapsed into 'China' by Tori Amos on the piano. As a Christmas gift to me this year he had taught himself how to play the entire 'Little Earthquakes' album for me simply because he knew that I preferred homemade gifts. "Anyways, you know what they say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'." He leaned over to kiss me and was interrupted by a sparkly, wind chime voice.

"That it does!" Alice giggled as she entered the room. Alice was Edward's favorite sister. She resembled more of a pixie in a Tim Burton film rather than a vampire. Today she had gone the cute route with her attire and was sporting a blue baby doll top and army green cargo pants with black Mary Jane shoes. Her black spiky hair looked particularly spiky and out of control today and her huge gold eyes danced around in the light like she had a story to tell.

"Alice!" I exclaimed as I hopped off the bench and went to hug her. Alice had been away for the last week or so getting information on nearby universities, because like Edward, she too was graduating for the twentieth time this year.

Edward stopped playing and turned his body on the piano bench to face her. "So, what's the verdict? What program are you getting into this year?"

"Medicine." She said promptly.

"Medicine? But you've already got a degree in that, don't you think you might get, bored?" He asked.

"No, because I want to go into _veterinary_ medicine." She explained.

"You want to be a veterinarian?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"Not quite, I was thinking more like a veterinary technician."

"Why?"

"Why not?" She retorted with a smirk.

"Seems like a bit of a waste of time to me, that's all." He said shrugging his shoulders and getting up from the bench.

"Edward, why would you say that?" I butted in, a little surprised. Edward was usually very open minded and down to Earth.

He turned around quickly and looked at me, incredulous. "Well, Bella, I'm just saying that…" he was at a loss for words.

"aa-n-y-ways," Alice started, "I was looking into some schools and there just happens to be a veterinary school in Seattle that has a technician program that I'm looking into."

"That's great Alice! I'm sure you'll really enjoy it." I encouraged. Edward rolled his eyes at her.

"Thank you Bella." She said, placing the emphasis on the word _you._ "I heard that the two of you were going to go to Alaska. That's exciting, and it will provide you with a good alibi you know, in case you..."

"That's enough Alice." Edward said sternly.

"Don't worry Bella; it is going to happen eventually." Alice assured me. I smiled mischievously as I heard a low growl coming from Edward's corner of the room. "So what do you think your major will end up being?" Alice asked.

"Oh, I don't know, I can't really think of a whole lot I'm very good at."

"That's why you go to school, to become better at something and make a difference." Alice said happily

"I'm not sure. I like the whole idea of teaching, that is until I would have to get up in front of a classroom. I hate being the center of attention and I would probably fall down or something in the middle of a lecture." I could feel Edward watching me and in the corner of my eye I saw him smiling to himself.

"You seem like someone who would do well in a position of service." Alice said sitting down on the piano bench. "You seem to do best when you're worrying about someone." she smiled at me and took my right hand in hers. A smile played across her lips, "you'll major in social work. You're going to help people; you're going to protect those who are weaker than you are."

The smile on Edward's face grew, he looked serene. "That sounds about right."

"Social work? Really?" I asked in disbelief. "But that takes such a brave, outspoken person. That's not me at all…"

"I think it is." Edward said softly, smile still on his face.

Alice took both of my hands in hers and held them tightly, she looked into my eyes and said "Bella, that job takes a good person who believes in what's right. That's always been you. You'll be someone's protector."

I started to get uncomfortable with all this fussing over something that may or may not be right, but I have to say, not many people bet against Alice, being that she was psychic and all.

"Alright hot shot," Edward said, teasing Alice, he walked back over to the bench and sat beside his sister. She turned to face him, "what am I going to major in this time?"

Alice looked up at him, like she would for any other reason and looked like she was about to come up with some kind of smart ass comment. She opened her mouth smiling and was about to speak, when suddenly, she paused and looked concerned.

"What's the matter?" he asked jokingly, "what am I going for this year? Interior decorating or something?" Alice remained quiet, a look of alarm passed over Edward's face. He could hear her thoughts and premonitions now, I knew that. "Alice? How is that possible?"

"What's the matter?" I asked, frightened.

Edward couldn't speak, his perfect face twisted into an expression of confusion and curiosity. Alice's expression changed from anxious to fearful. She was silent for a few moments more, Edward got up from the bench and walked over to the window, he made a loose fist and pressed it against his forehead. He looked like he was having a migraine headache…

"Alice, what's the matter?" I asked again, my voice becoming unsteady and shrill.

Alice's voice trembled into a tiny whisper, "Edward. Edward is going to become…human again."

I really didn't know what that meant; in any sense of the words really. I didn't know what that meant for him, for his family, for our college plans, for my 'after college' plans, or most importantly, what it meant for us. There was always a possibility that the vision could be incorrect, but like I said before, I wouldn't bet against Alice.


	2. Chapter 2 Heart to Heart

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

BPOV

Chapter 2

Heart to Heart

We tried to carry on with the rest of our night like nothing about Edward becoming human had been said, but there was a strange sort of tension in the air. Alice and Edward were a little more reserved than usual and I was actually feeling eager to get home so I could be with my thoughts. He helped me study for my trigonometry final and we watched some TV, but that was about it. He didn't mention anything about what Alice had said about anything, my newly predicted social work major included. He just seemed like he was deep in thought, but not in a disturbed way.

When I got home it was only nine o'clock and I noticed Charlie was still up watching TV, so I approached him on the couch.

"Hey kid. How are ya? Want to watch some TV with your old man?" he asked smiling warmly.

"Sure dad." I smiled. He seemed surprised that I said yes. He quickly moved a pile of newspapers off the couch and onto the coffee table and patted the seat beside him. I sat down.

"So Bells," he turned down the volume, "tell me what's going on these days. How are your finals going?" Charlie was trying so hard, usually he was a man of few words and he was especially uncomfortable talking to me.

"Good dad, finals are good. I had biology one today and then on Wednesday I have a trigonometry final. Edward and Alice have been helping me study."

"That's good Bella; those Cullen kids are pretty smart huh?" Talking about Edward especially made my dad uncomfortable, I'd pulled a lot of stunts on my dad since I had met Edward, and at this point, Charlie didn't really care for him.

"They're great dad."

"Right, anyways, tell me more about your college plans with," he swallowed hard and cringed a little "Edward."

"Well I told you, we were going to Alaska."

"Alaska seems so far away Bella, are you okay with that? I mean, why Alaska anyways? Why not somewhere in Seattle or California or something? Massachusetts has a lot of great schools in Boston…"

"Honestly dad, I really don't want to be in a big city and the classes in some of those universities are so crowded…" I went on, hoping to convince him. "And besides, Edward has family out there and that way, if we need anything, we won't be too far from them."

"Bella, we have family around too."

"Dad, I haven't seen any of our family in years, they might as well be strangers to me. Edward sees his cousins on a fairly regular basis, so they actually are like family to him."

Charlie sighed, defeated. "I guess your mother and I have really done you a disservice Bells. We aren't really a normal family and I'm sorry about that."

"Dad, come on, don't start this. All families are different…" I wanted to go hide in my room at this point, but I figured we were having an actual father daughter discussion which was very rare, so I figured I should just stay put.

"Well, I'm just grateful that you're planning on going to college and not just running off and marrying tha…." He paused and composed himself, "Edward." I smiled at his effort. "So anyways, what are you thinking about for majors?" Charlie asked patting me lightly on my knee with his big, sturdy, hand.

"I'm really not sure yet." I said doubtfully. "I might go in as undeclared at first and see where my classes take me."

Charlie frowned. "You must have something in the back of your mind Bells?"

"I really don't. I don't know what to do with myself. I like to read, I like to listen to music. I can't play music and I probably would fall flat on my face in front of a classroom, so I can't teach. I like science but I don't want the responsibility of being any type of medical professional. I'm not creative and I can't dress myself so interior design and fashion design are out as well. Maybe I'll just become a starving writer or something."

"Bella, you're not giving yourself enough credit." Charlie said sternly

"Well there goes my shot at becoming a life coach…" I said flatly.

"Bella, you don't sound like you're very interested in going to college at all."

"It's not that I don't want to go dad," I started defensively, "I just don't know what it is that I could do that I would enjoy and that would benefit society in some way."

"So you want to help people?" Charlie asked hopefully

"Well, yes, I guess so. Isn't that what most people want to do with their lives?"

"No Bella, they don't," my dad said in a very obvious tone. "Actually kid, most people want to do what's best for themselves and not for other people. Most people want to work at something to make money, get power, or keep someone else down. There are fewer and fewer people nowadays who genuinely want to help someone else. As difficult as that may be to admit."

"Well, I know I definitely don't want to be one of those people. I want to do something that makes someone else's life better, because I feel that people around me are always trying to do that for me." I had never spoken like this to Charlie before. I was surprised I could actually do it. And he was actually listening and participating. How could I leave him here alone while I went to Alaska just so I could have a stupid alibi to become a vampire and be with my boyfriend? But I had to, I needed to, and I wanted to more than anything. So if I was going to do that to Charlie then I had to really make something of myself while I was away at school. I would make him proud.

Charlie was already looking like he was pretty proud of me right now. He stared at me and it looked like his eyes were about to get teary. He smiled warmly at me and said quietly, "well, I guess I was wrong. You're mother and I didn't do you a disservice at all, you really know what's important in life Bella and I'm so glad. Any decision you decide to make will be the right one."

Now it was my turn to get teary, "thanks a lot char..dad." my voice cracked a little.

He smiled back at me and was quiet, I broke the silence. "Dad, you're a cop, what do you think about social work?" I asked nonchalantly.

His face darkened and turned into a frown, "oh Bella." He shook his head slowly, "Bells, that's such a difficult job. The system is so flawed these days. So many kids fall through the cracks, you'll see so many awful things. There's not enough help to go around."

"Well, if there's not enough help to go around they could use new recruits then right?" I asked lightly.

"Yes I suppose they could. But it's such a burnout job. You think it's difficult being a police officer? I deal with mostly adults…you'd be dealing with kids; kids that can't defend themselves and who are completely innocent. Do you think you could handle that?"

"I'm sure I could." I said confidently.

"Well, I will say this, the best feeling in the world is when a case falls into place and you change someone's life forever. Social work is probably the most rewarding job you will ever have, when it goes right." He said in a serious tone.

I had a lot to think about when I went to bed that night. I took a quick shower, got on my pajamas and climbed into bed prepared to think about everything that had been said that afternoon, but to my dismay all I could do was fall fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3 Tori Amos and Senior Citizens

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

BPOV

Chapter 3

Tori Amos and senior citizens

The next day when I woke up the sun was shining right in my face, I was happy to see the sun but unhappy to know that Edward and Alice would not be in school that day. I got dressed and lumbered downstairs and forced myself to eat some breakfast. Charlie had already left for work and the whole house was quiet. It was a little unnerving this morning for some reason. I grabbed up my books and keys and headed out to my truck. When I got in I realized that I almost sat on a single red rose that had been left on my seat with a note. The note read, _weather report said it's going to be sunny for a few days, going hunting. Good luck on your final, see you Friday. Be safe, love, E._

Bummer, I thought to myself. Oh well, that would give me more time to study I guess. I started up my truck and headed to school.

I was distracted all day. I kept thinking about the discussion about my future I'd had the night before with Charlie. And every so often the bizarre prediction that Alice had made about Edward kept coming back to me. I did what I could to preoccupy my thoughts with something else.

"Hey Bella!" A friendly voice called as I stood by my locker. I looked up and saw Angela; the most down to earth girlfriend I had. I immediately grinned, shut my locker and headed over to her waving enthusiastically.

"Hey Angela!"

"What's going on? Are you doing anything after school today?" she asked.

"No, actually I'm not. I'm dying to do something. Oh wait, we have a trig final tomorrow, I should probably study for that." I said, my enthusiasm waning, that test was going to be hard.

"That's ok, I have the same final. We could study together and then head over to the beach or grab dinner or something." I was instantly relieved.

"That'd be perfect. I just have to let Charlie know."

"No sweat, I'll follow you to your house after school." Angela sounded relieved to be going out as well and rightfully so, she was in all accelerated classes this year and her parents really put the pressure on her. She definitely needed a break too. We started walking to lunch together not saying anything. Angela was a friend that I didn't have to talk to all the time. We could walk together in silence and it was never awkward unlike with some of my other friends like Mike and Jessica, if you could really call them friends. With them, one of us always had to be 'on' to make the time more enjoyable, it was actually stressful sometimes because when there was silence I was always suspicious of what they were thinking about me. Maybe it was just paranoia, but I never felt like that around Angela.

"So where's Edward today?" Angela asked innocently disrupting my inner monologue.

"Where do you think?" I said sarcastically as I gestured out the window at the glorious day.

"Oh, right. Is he hiking with his family today?" Angela didn't know anything about Edward's alternative lifestyle, but she knew a certain type of behavior was expected with the Cullen family on sunny days. She was the first one who told me that the Cullen family always went 'hiking' together on the few sunny days that Forks could offer.

"Yes, they're out together for the next couple of days." I explained

"How come they never invite you to go with them?" Angela asked, "I mean they must consider you family by now right?"

"No, no they do, but this is something they've been doing together since Edward was born."_ Into darkness _I thought morbidly. "Maybe they don't want to mess with tradition, and besides, Charlie probably wouldn't like me skipping school very much."

"Yeah, I see what you mean." Angela and I entered the cafeteria, grabbed some lunch and joined the rest of our group.

Angela and I went back to my house so that I could drop off my truck and leave Charlie a note and then we left in her car.

"Where should we go?" she asked

"Well, it's such a nice day we should do something outdoors." I suggested

"We could head over to the beach with some coffees and study for awhile." Poor Angela, she had been drinking so much starbucks these days that she was starting to look like a vanilla macchiato. Her face was pale and drawn, like she was going on little to no sleep. This had been the first time today I'd gotten a close look at her.

"Angela, are you alright? You really look like you could use some sleep. Are you sure you feel like going out today?"

"Yes, yes absolutely, I really need this Bella." She said her tone suddenly panicked.

"Angela, what's going on?"

We drove to Starbucks and got a couple of drinks and then we headed to first beach in La Push. We were walking along the beach just sipping our coffee and then she spilled it. Her guts that is, not her coffee. That she held onto like it was a lifeline.

"Bella, I'm so stressed out. I don't know where to begin, between applying to the Ivy League schools, all the finals in our accelerated classes, in addition to the assignments, the community service for national honors, writing the speech for graduation, I, I, can't keep up."

Angela was never a person who ever brought up any of her accomplishments, ever. She never boasted or bragged or even patted herself on the back and yet she was one of the smartest people I knew. Angela had been accepted to three major Ivy League schools, she was our class valedictorian, was in the honor society, and it was never enough for her parents. Her parents had unreasonable standards for her to live up to. They would ground her if she got less than a 90 on her exams, so as a result, she never did. Angela didn't talk about this much to anyone, but occasionally she'd let it slip in front of me. We were comfortable around each other and we kept each other's secrets and neither one of us ever asked the other for more information than we wanted to give.

"I literally have hundreds of graduation announcements to send out to friends and relatives before the end of the month." She despaired. "I haven't had a chance to spend any type of quality time with Ben for months, it's a wonder he hasn't dumped me yet." Angela sat down on a rock and stared out into the horizon as the sun shimmered off the water's surface. She looked so small in front of the huge pool before her. Her black hair was up in a messy bun and she roughly pushed the loosened straightened strands out of her face as she took another swig of coffee. I sat down beside her on the rock and took her hand and just held it in mine, it was thin and cool to the touch. She looked grateful for the contact. She squeezed my hand back. Then she took her quirky horn rimmed glasses off her face and propped them up on her head she wiped her eyes quickly with her free hand.

"Angela, I can help you if you want."

"With what?" She asked.

"Well, with anything. Like those announcements, I can help you with those if you want. And Charlie could probably help you with the community service thing…Don't worry, it'll all work out. Edward could proofread your essays for you; he did with all of mine." I offered

She smirked and rolled her eyes, the tone lightened up a bit."I doubt he'd appreciate you signing him up for that god awful task." She said.

"No really, he wouldn't mind, he'd do anything to help you Angela, he likes you a lot."

"Really?" She asked in disbelief "how do you know?"

"Well, he said to me one time, he likes you because your thoughts are kind and truthful." I smiled at the thought of his velvety voice.

"How would he know that?" She asked lowering her glasses back down onto her heart shaped face.

"He just…he has good instincts about people." I said nonchalantly.

"Hmm." She muttered thoughtfully "I wish I had gotten to know him better while we've been in school together. He seems like a good guy, but he doesn't say much, is he like that with you too Bella?"

"Actually, most days I can't shut him up." I said smiling. "There was one day when we first started hanging out that he spent the entire day asking me questions like what my favorite color was, my favorite flower, food, smells… I felt like I was in front of a firing squad." This was nice, I didn't really talk about us with anyone, and I felt like a normal girl prattling on about her number one crush. "How about Ben? I don't feel like I know a whole lot about him either."

That was it, that was the magic word; Ben. Angela's eyes lit up and a look of serenity crossed over her face. "Ben is wonderful Bella. He's so odd and, and captivating. Whenever I'm feeling down or whenever we're apart for some reason, he cheers me up by telling me stories."

"Like, stories about his childhood or his family?" I asked, "Or like, stories like, Aesop's fables?"

Angela laughed softly, "No Bella, he _makes up_ stories and tells them to me. He writes all of the time, that's usually what he does in his free time, he writes stories or screenplays or whatnot and then he reads them to me. Like, during Spring break he had to go visit some relatives in Florida, so we couldn't spend any time together so I was really bummed out. So, like a champ he would call me every day in the best of moods and try and cheer me up. He was upset that he couldn't be here either, but he didn't want me to be sad so he would call me every night around my bedtime and read to me." Angela's voice got really quiet and the end of her sentence like she didn't want someone to overhear her talking about her and Ben's secret bond.

"What would he read to you while he was in Florida?" I asked dreamily as I cupped my hand under my chin.

"Well, while he was in Florida he made up this story about a couple of senior citizens living in an over fifty community that fell in love and wanted to get married but their parents were still alive so the man had to meet the woman's parents to get a blessing before they tied the knot. It was kind of like 'Meet the Parents' with really old people. And every night that Ben called me there would be some new kind of hysterical drama that had to be dealt with." Angela's body language had completely changed at this point, she was waving around her hands while she talked and kept switching her feet under her body. It was like the thought of Ben animated her and brought her back to life. I just listened and watched as she went on with her story. When she realized how closely I was paying attention, she slowed down and smiled sheepishly, "I guess it probably sounds kind of silly to you…" she said, almost regretfully.

"Oh no, no Angela! I think it's…I think it's wonderful. I love it actually." I meant it; I did think it was wonderful. I thought it was wonderful that Ben added some levity and laughter in Angela's very serious life.

"Thanks" she smiled a smile that looked like I was not meant to see it, "I love it too."

"Tell me something else about Ben." I urged on

"Like what?" She asked

"Anything, I like listening you talk about him."

"What about Edward? What does he do for you that you know he only does for you?" she asked.

I didn't know what to tell her, he did so many things for me and we had so many things that we shared together, but then I thought of one. "Tori Amos." I said

"What about her?"

"Edward can't stand her. He thinks she tries too hard to be different and he that her music is 'maddening'." I quoted him, Angela looked confused, "But..." I continued, "for Christmas, he forced himself to listen to 'Little Earthquakes', my favorite album, and..." my voice trembled a little, "and he learned how to play the entire album on the piano for me and that was my gift. Now, whenever I can't sleep, he plays it for me."

Angela looked like she was going to cry, then she said softly with a smile, "It really doesn't take much to make a person feel special does it Bella?"

"No, it doesn't Angela." I smiled back at her. We were quiet for a minute and then I asked, "So is Ben going to go to school for creative writing?"

"I think so." She said, "But he's a little nervous as to how it will affect his future. His father wants him to be a chemical engineer."

"Does that interest him?"

"No, not really." Angela said sadly

"So shouldn't he be allowed to major in what he wants?"

"It doesn't always work out that way."

"No I suppose it doesn't." I agreed, "Well, I hope school works out for Ben, he sounds like he's really talented."

"Oh Bella, he's brilliant, he's so creative, I could just lose myself listening to him speak." Boy, did I know how that was. I couldn't believe Angela was sharing so much with me; she was usually a very private person. I guess when you reach an emotional point in your life you need some kind of release.

"It's too bad you guys didn't start going out sooner than junior year. You could have been spending more time together."

"We almost didn't go out at all. I'd liked him for years, and apparently he had liked me for a long time too but was too afraid to ask."

"So what made him finally ask?" I inquired as I played with a smooth stone I had found laying nearby.

"He said that he had to hurry up and ask me before some other guy beat him to the punch and he lost me forever."

"Really? Another guy? Who?"

"He never told me, I think he was afraid that I would get interested and ditch him. Which seemed odd because Ben usually has a lot of confidence about himself. It must have been some kind of heartthrob like Edward or something…" she rolled her eyes. I blushed and giggled at her joke.

We stayed on the beach just talking and drinking our coffee for hours until the sun started going down and the chill started coming in off the water. We left around six o'clock and went back to Angela's house. We ate supper with her family and then she and I went upstairs to study. By eight o'clock I was starting to feel like I might actually do well on this exam tomorrow and now all I needed was a good night's sleep. Angela drove me home in comfortable silence, I didn't know if I'd helped her at all with all of her pre-graduation stress, but she seemed to be feeling better and I guessed that was good enough for the time being. She dropped me off at the front door and we planned to meet at school a little earlier than usual to do a quick review for the test, I waved goodbye and smiled at my friend and she looked a little more at ease, I think she knew that she could count on me if she needed me. I decided to skip the shower tonight. I could still smell the sea water and the sunshine in my hair and I liked it, it was like aromatherapy. I went into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth. Though there had been a chill in the air when we were at the water, inland it was still very mild outside so I decided to keep the window open a crack for the night. Spring was here and I could smell the change in the air and the sweetness of it helped lull me into a still, dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4 Sneak Attack

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 4**

**Sneak Attack**

The next morning I woke up and the sun was still shining in my eyes. I had set the alarm a little earlier than usual so that I could get to school early to meet up with Angela. I got up out of bed with surprising ease despite the hour and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. Not that I was a shorts kind of girl but if I was, I still would decide on jeans for today, there was a bit more of a chill in the air this morning than yesterday but it was still a beautiful day. I threw on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt that looked like a sweater vest over a short sleeved white collared shirt. It was all one piece and it was cute and trendy. I felt like looking nice today. I put on a black leather belt and a pair of black boots, fixed my hair up and headed downstairs. I thought the sweater vest combo was appropriate due to the fact that today was my big trigonometry test, that way if I couldn't perform like a math genius I sure as hell could look like one. I entered the kitchen with a bit of a strut and Charlie was sitting at the table eating eggs and drinking coffee.

"You look nice today Bells." My dad said warmly.

"Thanks dad, you er, look nice too." I said looking him over in his police uniform.

"Right." He said picking up his newspaper. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and a glass of juice and sat down at the table with him. "Bella," he startled me out of a daydream I had started in my head.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking a lot after our conversation the other night...and…, well, you and Edward have been together for what, a year and a half or so?"

"Yes," I started, suddenly terrified. I tried to act casual and eat my cereal but I had no idea what was coming next.

"Well, that's quite a while, especially in teenage years, and it's occurred to me that I've never really had a chance to talk to him, I mean, really talk to him,"

My hand was in midair about to take a bite of my cereal, when it started shaking so violently that I dropped it into the bowl, splashing milk everywhere. "mmhmm…" I choked out

"So I was thinking that maybe he might want to go fishing with me and Billy sometime."

"Oh dad, oh no dad," I stuttered as waves of horror passed through me, "I don't know about that. I mean, Edward's a vegetarian; the sight of blood makes him sick, I don't think he could help you gut a fish or anything like that. He's kind of a wuss when it comes to that sort of thing. I mean, when I cut my hand last year, he had to leave the room…" I was grasping desperately at straws here, it was a good thing Edward was nowhere near this house because I'd probably get an earful for calling him a wuss if he'd heard that.

"Bella," Charlie lowered his paper and took a sip of coffee, "you're not giving him a whole lot of credit. I mean, he's been around you for almost two years, he's had to have seen you bleed before, given your track record. All that time you were in the hospital, and then the time…"

"Ok dad I got it." I cut him off

"Come on Bella, I haven't been fair with him all this time and I feel bad about it. I just want to get to know him a little better before you two go off to college together."

"_Before _college?!" I stood up from the table and brought my dish to the sink.

"Just think about it." Charlie said, clearly preparing to end our conversation "when is he coming home anyways?" He asked.

"Friday." I said miserably. My day was ruined.

"Good, I'll ask him then."

"_You're _going to ask him _Friday_?" Why was he trying to ruin my upcoming weekend?

"Well, I would think that he would appreciate a formal invitation on my part, rather than just hearing it from you. He'll be more apt to say yes if I ask him right?" actually Edward would probably accept the invitation either way if it meant earning Charlie's trust while endlessly pissing me off.

"I guess." I said, defeated at last.

"Good, I'll talk to him on Friday." Charlie said with a satisfactory smile.

"I have to meet Angela at school." My day was ruined. I wanted to take off my cute little argyle vest and crawl back into my ripped sweatpants.

"I'll see you later kiddo, good luck on your test!"

"Thanks." I mumbled. I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed to my truck. My day was ruined. I started the engine and let it rumble a bit so it could warm up. Even though it was spring in Forks, it was so damp around here that it was always a good idea to let her warm up a bit. After a minute or so I was ready to go, I backed out of the driveway and rolled slowly down the street. Stupid fishing trip, stupid Charlie all bonding with me and trying to be nice to Edward, stupid mysterious boyfriend…

"So, I'm a wuss am I?" A familiar voice purred from the backseat

I actually cried out loud, "Gah!" I jammed on my brakes startled

"Pull over here before your father catches you holding up traffic." The voice commanded. I pulled over near a wooded area on the side of the road. I turned to the passenger seat and Edward was sitting there grinning at me like the cat that swallowed the canary. The day was improving.

"WHAT are you doing here?" I asked angrily even though I couldn't keep from smiling. He looked like some kind of mirage; some kind of perfect mirage. His sweet smell permeated the cab of my truck now and he was wearing a pair of designer jeans that had whiskering and ripping in all the right places with a brown button down shirt for a top. His eyes looked a little darker than usual which meant to me he needed to hunt some more, but his hair was perfectly set and gelled and his expression was that of pure pleasure and mischief.

"Just wanted to say hi and wish you luck on your test today." He smiled his crooked smile that always turned me inside out. Either he was extraordinarily happy to see me today or he was laying it on thick. He was pushing all of my buttons and he hadn't even touched me yet.

"Why does everyone keep wishing me luck on that test? Am I that poor of a student?"

"Of course not," he said seriously, "it's just an excuse for me to see you." His eyes examined me closely as he noticed my new shirt. "Glad I came up with an excuse. You look like some kind of catholic school girl, I like it."

"Well, those jeans you're wearing are doing it for me." I blatantly admitted. If Edward could blush, he probably would have at that point. "So have you decided to come back to school today?" I asked hopefully.

"No. the sun isn't too bright yet, which is why I could get away with this little drop in but in a few hours I'll be shining like a chandelier." He chuckled. I smiled, disappointed. "Emmett and I are really going to go hunting today and I really won't be back until Friday. He's just spending some time with Rose right now. I had to get away from all the racket."

"Well, when you go hunting today try not to ruin those jeans because I wouldn't mind seeing you in them again."

Edward seemed embarrassed, "Really? "He said touching his pants, "you're into this look? I feel like a slob."

"No, no I like it…a lot." I said sheepishly looking down at the floor.

He shook his head disapprovingly at me. Then he suddenly brightened up, "so, I hear I might be going fishing sometime soon..."

"Edward, no!" I pleaded

"I just hope I'll be able to handle all the blood and guts, wouldn't want Charlie to think me less of a man because I'm a vegetarian…"He was being fresh today.

"You heard all of that?" I asked starting to bite my nails

"Every word." I continued to bite my nails; Edward took my hand gently and set it down in my lap for me. I started wringing my hands together nervously instead.

"Bella, what's the matter? What do you think is going to happen?"

"God only knows."

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. He's going to want me to go with him on Sunday."

"This Sunday? Edward come on, I'm not going to see you for three more days and you're going to spend one of our days with my dad? I don't even do that!"

"We'll still have our nights together."He purred rubbing my arm with the back of his hand.

"No, I thought we weren't doing that until after school was over." I complained trying hard not to get too distracted.

"No school nights, but we could probably make an arrangement for Saturday nights."

"Whatever." I was frustrated, I looked at him annoyed and he furrowed his brow in confusion. I softened a little and said, "I told Angela I was going to meet her early to study this morning."

His expression softened and he said gently, "then you should go to her. Now listen, I'll be back on Friday, if the clouds start coming in early, I'll meet you after school, if not I'll be on your doorstep Friday night."

"Promise?"

"Promise" he said taking my face gently in his cool hands "I'll even bring you flowers." He smiled and kissed my forehead "maybe I'll bring Charlie some too." He teased, I smacked his arm and he chuckled sweetly. Then he leaned forward, slower, more serious and kissed me on the lips. My heart raced and my breathing picked up a little, I wasn't sure but I think his did too.

"See you Friday love."

"Friday, with flowers."

"Absolutely." He smiled his crooked smile at me over his shoulder as he exited my truck and sauntered into the woods. I hated to see him go, but I must admit I was enjoying watching him walk away. Those jeans were something else, it was like they were made for his body and were hugging him in all the right places to accentuate his lean, muscular build. He knew I was watching him too because I noticed he dragged out his saunter a little more than usual as he entered the woods. He probably still had the same smirk on his face that I had on mine. The ruined day had been saved.


	5. Chapter 5 Date Night

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 5**

**Date Night**

The trig test had gone by without a hitch it seemed and once I had cleared that on Wednesday, the rest of my week seemed easier and less intense. I went to work Wednesday afternoon and Thursday as well and before I knew it, it was Friday. It was still pretty sunny out by Friday afternoon, so I figured I wouldn't see Edward until that night. I took my time driving home and when I got into the house I decided to take a well deserved nap. My mind was exhausted from all the studying and deep conversations I had had all week and I was fairly certain that there would be more to come this weekend, so I needed a break. I lay down on my bed on top of the covers and fell into a deep sleep. I woke up around five thirty and noticed the sun had nearly set as my room had begun to take on a purple hue. I flipped on my lamp and quickly got up to shower, debating on what I should wear. I finally decided on a burnt orange top. It had a scoop neck and drapey sleeves and fit snugly over my waist, I didn't wear it very often, but I liked the shape of it. I accessorized a little with a bronze colored chain belt and some beaded necklaces. I put on a pair of clean jeans, a dressier pair of boots and topped it with a tailored coat. I looked very chic; I was determined to get Edward to take me out of the house tonight to avoid that awful conversation with Charlie that was brewing. I looked at myself again in the mirror, Alice would have been proud. The doorbell rang and I bolted downstairs to answer it before Charlie, nearly falling down the stairs in the process.

Edward had kept his promise, there he stood on my doorstep with a bunch of flowers in hand; peonies to be exact.

"You didn't really have to do that." I said feeling the heat rushing into my cheeks.

"A promise is a promise." He said smiling. He handed them to me and bent over and kissed me on the cheek. As he pulled his face away from mine he paused at my ear and murmured lowly, "You look absolutely ravishing." I was suddenly happier that I had put all that thought into this outfit. He stood under the porch light looking more handsome than ever. His eyes were a burst of gold light and his olive green button down complimented the bronze tips of his hair that shimmered under the porch light. His face was smooth and peaceful and I noticed that the fabulous jeans from the other day had made a reappearance; cleaned, pressed and flawless.

"You didn't wreck your pants." I pointed out.

"You asked me not to." He replied innocently.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked changing the subject.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked, still maintaining his innocent tone.

I tried to ignore his question, playing it off like I didn't hear him. I started to close the front door behind me. Like a flash he put his hand up, preventing the door from closing and put one foot in the door frame. Damn. The supernatural were so frustrating.

"You should put those in water," Edward said with a smirk over his shoulder to me, as he walked into the house. "Good evening chief Swan," he called through the house as he headed toward the kitchen. I was fuming; I followed him miserably through the living room, hoping that Charlie didn't hear him.

"Edward?" Charlie's voice called from upstairs, "is that you?"

"Yes sir." He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a container and started filling it with water.

I heard Charlie on the stairs, he was coming down. He came into the kitchen as Edward was setting the flowers on the table.

"Those are nice." Charlie said trying to be friendly to me, I glared at him and he ignored me. "You kids got anything special planned tonight?"

"No, not yet." Edward said flashing a smile at Charlie in his most pleasing tone. I thought I was going to get sick.

"Well then, if you wouldn't mind, I wanted to talk to you for a second Edward, "

"Dad," I interjected, "Maybe this isn't the best time, Edward just got home a couple hours ago…"

I almost had him convinced, then Edward held up a hand and gently said in a polite, diplomatic tone, "Bella, it's alright, I don't mind." He smirked at me without Charlie seeing and then he turned his eyes to him and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Dad, come on really!" I said getting angry as Charlie sat down at the table across from Edward.

"Now Bella, just stop it." Charlie said a little more sternly than I had expected. I shut my mouth and Edward looked like he was about to burst into hysterics. The best response I could muster for the whole situation was a grunt and I stormed into the living room and put on the TV. I couldn't hear the conversation between the two of them, never had I wished for supersonic hearing more than I did at that point. I heard Edward's soft chuckle and Charlie's uncomfortable tone a few times, but that was all. It was nice that Charlie was trying so hard. Any type of social situation with a _normal _person made Charlie uncomfortable, I could just imagine how much worse it must be with Edward. They talked for only a few minutes, but it seemed like eons to me. Finally after about ten minutes, I heard the scrape of the chairs on the linoleum floor and the two of them came walking back into the living room. I couldn't read their faces very well to determine if the conversation had gone badly or not.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked picking my coat up off the sofa and helping me into it.

"Absolutely."

Charlie walked over to me and patted my shoulder roughly, "okay then, I'll see you later, don't stay out too late alright?"

I was still angry with him, but he was trying so hard, so I softened my expression and replied, "Okay dad." He gave a little nod to me and turned and headed to his recliner where I knew he would be camping out until I got home later that night.

Edward and I walked to his car in silence; he opened the door for me and shut it gently behind me. Within seconds he was in the driver seat revving the engine and heading down the street. He was completely silent and staring hard at the road in front of him, expressionless. I was starting to feel mildly horrified, the quiet was killing me.

"Soo…" I said, breaking the silence

"So what?" He responded, maintaining his hard stare

"So, what, um what happened?" I started fiddling with my hair nervously.

"I don't want to talk about it Bella." His voice was cold and I really did feel like I was going to vomit. The hair fiddling intensified, my throat got dry, what could have possibly been said in that short a time that was making him react like this? I thought I had heard him laughing with Charlie in the kitchen at one point, was I wrong? Then I looked over at Edward and saw that his shoulders were shaking, his right hand was near his face, was he so angry that he was shaking? Then we passed under a streetlight and I got a better look at him; he was laughing.

"You suck!" I exclaimed. That did it, he burst into such a guffaw that the car shook.

"I fail to see what's so funny." I said aggravated, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Really?" he coughed, "you really don't? You don't think that you're overreacting the slightest bit?"

"No, because I really hate the thought of you becoming chummy with my father."

"And why is that?" He asked finally regaining his composure

"I don't know, it's just embarrassing, and what if it goes badly? What if it makes things worse between the two of you? What if he figures out who you are? Then he could be in danger, and…" My voice was becoming steadily more panicked.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" Edward said quickly, he turned and faced me, putting his cold hand on my leg in hopes to calm me down. "Bella, nothing like that is going to happen. He's not going to find out anything about me or my family or us that could endanger him or make you uncomfortable. I don't have a lot of experience with in-laws but I do with people and everything is going to be fine, I promise." I believed him, of course I did, and I quickly calmed down and just focused on his face.

I propped my arm up on the window and rested my face against my hand, "so what'd he say to you anyways." I rolled my eyes around toward him in a sideways glance.

"Not very much," Edward put both of his hands on the wheel.

"Shocking" I said sarcastically, Edward smiled.

"He said to me that he knew he had been unfair to me since I had come back and that I was very important to you. He wanted to try to get to know more about me before he decided that he really didn't like me."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that I appreciated his honesty and that I knew he wasn't too fond of me. I told him that I knew sometimes he didn't think I was doing what was in your best interest and that I was sorry for that. Then he invited me to go fishing with him and Billy Black on Saturday. I accepted his invitation."

"Saturday! I thought he was going on Sunday." I started to get panicky again. Edward quickly interceded.

"Everything is going to be fine love. Don't spend any more time thinking about it." He assured in his most soothing tone.

"Okay, yeah, you're right. What's the worst that could happen, you've done this before." I said trying to reassure myself. "Do me one favor though?"

"What's that?"

"Try to act like a human."

"Explain please."

"Well I don't know, try not to read his thoughts. You might slip up and answer something he was thinking rather than what he was saying." Edward's calm face tightened up a little but I kept talking, "and make sure you wear something that's kind of crappy, cuz you'll get dirty and..."

"Bella," he said sternly. I turned to look at him and saw that I had offended him. His forehead had furrowed up in frustration and his voice was getting edgy. "I have spent the last ninety or so years very carefully carrying myself through this life as inconspicuously as I possibly can. I have no intention of showing up tomorrow in a cape, hypnotizing people and drinking a thermos full of blood. He wants to get to know me, I'm going to just be myself…within reason. "

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

His expression softened and he said quietly, "I know you're nervous, I am too, but I want you to know that this important not only to Charlie, but to me too. I want him to trust me." I nodded my head in agreement and he took my hand in his and kissed it softly, never taking his eyes off the road.

Saturday morning came early. Charlie and Billy always liked to leave very nearly at the crack of dawn, but I think for Edward's sake they decided to leave a little later, thinking that he wouldn't want to get up that early, little did they know, Edward didn't sleep. Never the less, at seven o'clock sharp, I heard the low revving of Edward's Volvo in our driveway. I got up and threw on a sweatshirt and headed downstairs, at least I'd be able to see them off. To my surprise, Billy backed out last minute leaving the fishing trip consisting only of my father and Edward. I heard a quiet knock on the front door and quickly answered it. Edward stood there wearing a pair of green cargo pants, a gray thermal shirt with a navy blue t-shirt over it. His hair was a mess and in his hand he held a tray of three coffees. I had never seen him look so, normal….

"Good morning." He said quietly with a smile.

"Good morning to you," I said looking him over, a little amused.

"I brought you and Charlie coffee."

"Thanks, who's the third one for?"

"For myself, of course. No normal seventeen-year-old boy could wake up this early on a Saturday without a little help." He smiled his crooked smile and then winked at me.

"No, of course not." I said returning with a crooked smile of my own. He leaned over and kissed my forehead and picked me up on his hip with his free arm and brought me in the house.

"Good morning chief Swan," Edward called as he entered the house. Charlie came downstairs, a little startled to see me up.

"Morning Edward, Billy had to cancel on us, so it's just you and me if that's alright."

"That's fine."

"Good." There was an awkward silence between the three of us for a moment. Well, ok then" Charlie interrupted, "guess we better get going. We'll see you later Bells."

"Ok dad, I'll have dinner ready when you get back." My dad gave me a little nod and started toward the front door.

Edward leaned over and kissed my cheek and whispered low enough so only I could hear him, "everything is going to be fine." I nodded in agreement and he sauntered out the door behind Charlie.


	6. Chapter 6 Into the Wild

_**I Do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**_

_**Charlie's point of view**_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Into the wild**_

_**I wonder if he's ever been in a police cruiser before, I thought as I climbed into the driver side of the car. I tried to erase the thought from my head, clean slate today I assured myself, I've gotta give the kid a break. Edward climbed into the passenger seat beside me and shut the door quietly. Before I could say anything he was already putting on his seat belt. I started up the car and let the engine run for a minute, even though we well into spring it was still pretty cold in the morning. It was always cold in Forks; the only time we got a break was in the summer. **_

"_**Coffee?" he asked holding up a Styrofoam cup**_

"_**Oh, um thanks." I took the warm cup from his pale hand and started opening the plastic top so it could cool off. I put the car into reverse and pulled out of the driveway and started driving. He was quietly staring out the window ahead and carefully sipping his coffee but he didn't look like he was really enjoying it, maybe he just needed the caffeine. After all, it was pretty early on a Saturday morning for high school kid. **_

"_**So, Edward," he turned to face me, "do you ever fish?"**_

_**He cleared his throat and said quietly, "well, no I've actually never gone fishing, but I've gone hunting a few times with my older brother Emmett and my family and I hike all of the time. "**_

"_**Hunting huh? Bella mentioned that you don't really go for that sort of thing."**_

"_**No, I don't really care for it, it's more just so I can spend time with my brother, he likes the company."**_

"_**Fair enough. Have you been to Elk wood lake before?"**_

"_**A few times, yes."**_

"_**Well that's where we're headed today, the fish and game commission keep the lake pretty well stocked, so we'll be able to catch something." He gave a polite smile and nodded his head at me in agreement. I took a sip of my coffee, and turned on the radio, I had on some kind of classic rock station and I left it at that, he didn't seem to mind. We drove the rest of the way in silence.**_

_**We arrived at our destination around eight o'clock, I parked the car at the entrance to the parklands and announced that we would have a little bit of a hike ahead of us and Edward seemed unphased by this. I opened the trunk of the car and started pulling out all of the paraphernalia we would need. I had found an older fishing rod that I had replaced with my current pole in the basement and threw that in the car just in case he needed one, which, he did. I kind of figured Edward wasn't on planning doing a lot of fishing today but that he was coming because I invited him, which was perfectly fine with me. "Um Edward, I didn't know if you had a pole or not, so I brought my old one along if you'd like to use it." I said offhandedly as I rooted through the trunk.**_

"_**Thank you very much Chief Swan." He said warmly offering up a half smile. **_

_**I stopped what I was doing and turned to look at him, he stood there watching in anticipation, "Edward, it's Saturday morning and I'm not at work, please don't call me 'chief Swan'."**_

"_**I'm sorry, what should I call you?" I thought I detected a little edge in his voice, but then I realized from his expression that he wasn't trying to be smart alecky at all, he really wanted to know what would be acceptable.**_

"_**You can call me Charlie. I know Bella always does." My feeble attempt at a joke. He smiled widely when I said Bella's name, looked at the ground and then back up at me and said politely, "very well, Charlie."**_

"_**Good. Okay, now grab some of this stuff would you?" He said nothing, just hurried over to help get the gear together. I shut the trunk and hit the automatic lock button on my keys and we headed into the woods together. As we entered under the canopy of trees along the trail, I felt like my weekend had finally begun. All week I was trapped in an office, trapped in my car, I even felt trapped in my house sometimes but when the work week was all over I could come out into the open air and feel a freedom I couldn't feel while I was working. The heavy burden of responsibility disappeared for awhile and I could do whatever I wanted. I could be amongst the trees and the water; things that had existed for centuries unchanged and untouched by politics, media, technology or violence. Really, when you were in the woods it could be any era, any century, any decade and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. That brought a certain comfort to someone who hadn't changed much throughout their life. I wondered if Edward could appreciate something like that, I wondered if any seventeen year old was deep enough to appreciate something like that. I looked over at him as we were walking up the trail and his eyes met mine briefly and something in me told me that yes, he could. It took much less time to get to our destination with Edward than it usually did with Billy. Usually, I'd load up Billy's chair with the gear and I'd push him along the trail until we got to the bridge and it would take me almost twenty minutes, we got to the bridge in about ten minutes. The Elk Wood Bridge was a long wooden structure smack dab in the middle of the lake that had been rebuilt at least half a dozen times. The atmosphere of Forks was so damp all the time that the wood would rot out after a couple of years and the fish and game committee would have to tear it down and rebuild it all over again. Our dues to the board were a little pricey because of it but what do you expect when you live on a peninsula that is nearly considered a rainforest?**_

"_**Me and Billy usually get set up around here." Edward obediently started setting stuff down alongside the bridge. He always seemed so confident when he was around my daughter, I wondered why he was so quiet today. Maybe I was intimidating him; I didn't think I had said anything rude to him, yet. I was setting up my line with some bait and then I would help him I thought. I got my line ready and turned to offer help but it turned out he didn't need it, he had already set his line up and was ready to cast it out. Smart kid. "I thought you didn't fish." I said a little surprised. **_

_**He looked like he was concentrating on something as he squatted over his pole, he looked sideways at me and with a crooked grin said, "I'm a fast learner."**_

"_**Guess so," I said a little amused. "Ready?"**_

"_**Sure." He said pleasantly as he stood up. We walked to the edge of the bank and cast our lines out. I noticed right away that he had quite an arm on him because he was able to throw his line a pretty impressive difference. **_

_**We stood in silence for a few minutes waiting for a bite, there was a subtle breeze in the air and it was starting to warm up a bit finally. Everything around us smelled fresh and new, like spring should. Even though the sky was overcast, it felt like it was going to be a nice enough day. I wondered how long this day was going to turn out to be, it seemed like it had been going on for days due to all the silence and awkwardness between us. If Billy had been here we would be joking around and being sarcastic and drinking beer. My new partner wasn't so much like that. I couldn't even offer him a beer, he wasn't legal and I was a cop. I wished Billy hadn't cancelled, he'd have to make that up to me…**_

"_**So what is it you want to know about me?" Edward suddenly asked startling me out of my inner dialogue. I didn't expect him to be so direct, maybe some of his confidence that he had around Bella would show up today after all.**_

_**I thought carefully about my response before spouting off all the fatherly questions I always had; **__**what are your intentions with my daughter? Where do you get off leaving her and then coming back after 6 months? How do you really feel about her? Do you know how special she is and how lucky you are? **__** However, I didn't respond with any of those questions, I simply answered with "what would you like to tell me about yourself?"**_

_**He chuckled softly and gave me a meaningful look, like we were playing a game of chess. "I'd like to tell you whatever I need to in order to gain your trust in me." He held his stare with me, but not in a challenging way, in an honest way.**_

"_**So, um, your family, have you always hiked with them?" the intensity of his stare relaxed and he began to speak.**_

"_**Ever since they adopted me we've always hiked together, same with my brothers and sisters."**_

"_**Are you the youngest?"**_

"_**I've been with Carlisle and Esme the longest, but yes I am the youngest, my sister Alice and I are."**_

"_**Alice and Bella sure do get along well. She seems like a nice girl." **_

_**Edward rolled his eyes and said, "Sometimes I think Bella and Alice get along too well, she tells Bella everything. It's dangerous.""**_

"_**I hear that. It used to be like that with Renee's sister and her all the time," I offered.**_

_**Something tugged at my line, I was preparing to reel it in, but then it got away, frustration crossed over my face. "So, where are you from originally?"**_

"_**I was born in Chicago, Carlisle had been treating my parents for an illness, when they didn't make it, and he heard about me and adopted me."**_

"_**How old were you?"**_

"_**Much younger than I am now. I can't remember a whole lot before Carlisle adopted me." He explained cautiously.**_

"_**Do your parents have any children of their own?" I asked innocently.**_

"_**No. Esme had a child once but it died shortly after she gave birth and nearly killed her, so she didn't try again, instead they adopted."**_

"_**Renee's pregnancy with Bella wasn't an easy one either. Bella's mom was nearly bedridden for the two months leading up to her birth. She got gestational diabetes and all that nonsense too, ended up having to do a c-section a few weeks early. Bella nearly died." I paused as I thought about that difficult time, "After that, we decided not to have any more." Edward watched intently as I spoke, he seemed interested in what I was saying. Either that or he was a good actor.**_

"_**So Bella was doomed from the very moment she was born," He said jokingly.**_

"_**Yeah I suppose she was, I could build a mansion in Aspen with all the money we spent on hospital bills for her. The insurance companies hate our family." I said chuckling and shaking my head. Edward laughed a little too. We spent an hour or so by the lakeside, each of us only catching a handful of fish, but it was relaxing nevertheless. Well, as relaxing as it could be I suppose.**_

_**I took out my fillet knife and started to prepare the fish for the cooler I had brought. Edward watched silently as I worked, I hoped he wasn't getting queasy I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, he seemed okay. I finished cutting up my fish and asked him if he wanted me to take care of his too, he told me that wasn't necessary. I handed over the knife and the cutting board to him and cracked open a beer while I waited, I figured it might take him a little while so I sat down in one of the camping chairs I had brought. It wasn't my intention to watch him work, I didn't want to make him nervous, but I thought I'd stick nearby just in case he needed help or cut himself or something. He took the knife in his right hand and began to cut up the fish. His cuts were precise and clean and quick, like a surgeon. I didn't think it was possible for someone his age to be that careful and meticulous. The expression on his face was a picture of intense calm, like he was concentrating very hard on something, but it wasn't making him nervous. He was a very serious teenager, but then again, so was Bella, maybe that was why they got along so well. He finished his work more quickly than I had expected and barely left a drop of blood or waste on the board, it was quite impressive actually, even Billy couldn't do that. He carefully placed his fish in the cooler and strode over to my spot in the grass. He swiftly rinsed his hands off in the lake and wiped the wet off on his pants and sat down on the ground beside my chair.**_

"_**I'd offer you a beer if I could."**_

_**He smiled and held his long hand up "thank you anyways. I appreciate the gesture but I don't drink."**_

"_**Damn straight you don't." I said crossly. He just smirked at me and pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. I stared across the clearing at a large oak tree with low branches. "Bella used to fall out of that tree all of the time." I said matter of factly and took a swig of my beer.**_

_**Edward picked his head up and laughed softly, "I'll bet she did."**_

"_**She used to come here for a few weeks every summer. Not so much in the last few years though. I'm glad she's here now. The house doesn't feel so empty." He looked up at me through his black eyelashes sadly. "I know you're glad she's here too." I said quietly to him.**_

"_**Charlie, you don't know how long I've waited for her. I don't know if I could exist if she weren't here." He said almost in a whisper as he looked at the low oak tree.**_

"_**Why did you leave her Edward?" I just let the question fly out of my mouth before I could think it through. I immediately regretted it. He whipped his head around and looked at me like I had just set him on fire. He actually looked like he was in physical pain from my words. "I'm sorry," I continued, my voice getting harsh "but you didn't see her. She didn't cry or scream or get upset, it was like she was dead. She just went through the motions of the day, nothing phased her, it's like, her soul was gone. I would have felt better if she cried and carried on all day rather than act like that." Edward looked like he was going to get sick, I didn't care at that moment, my fatherly instinct was in overdrive to protect her from him.**_

"_**I know." He whispered, "I know because the same thing happened to me."**_

"_**Then why did you do it in the first place? If you two are so connected and can't be away from each other why did you leave her?"**_

"_**I was trying to protect her."**_

"_**From what?" I asked, incredulous now.**_

"_**From me." He said miserably. I didn't know how to respond, had he done something to her? Was there some kind of piece that I was missing here? "I was trying to protect her from me, my life is…complicated, and I didn't want to drag her into it with me."**_

"_**Look Edward," I said trying to soften my tone, "whatever part of your life you are trying to protect Bella from…and I don't want to know anything about it…how do I word this right?"**_

"_**Just say it Charlie, you're not going to upset me." His voice was stronger now.**_

"_**Whatever hardship you feel as if you bring with you, it is **__**nothing**__** compared to the hardship you create when you leave." That sounded right, it was true after all. I didn't think Edward was a bad kid, a little strange maybe, but, clearly Bella was much happier when he was around. She seemed to be a more complete person with him in her life and that cancelled out any ill feelings I had towards him didn't it? I wondered if his family saw the same change in him when she was around. Maybe they were meant to be together. He did fly out to Phoenix that one time when she ran away from home to convince her to come back. Renee said that when Bella had her accident that time Edward didn't leave her the entire time she was in the hospital. He stayed in her room with her for an entire week, sleeping on a cot away from his family. Such devotion at such a young age, but Bella would have done the same for him.**_

"_**Edward," I awkwardly put my hand on his shoulder and he stiffened up, looking anxious "I don't think you're a bad kid, but, Bella is my only daughter and when she hurts, so do I. I haven't been the greatest dad in the world to her, but she matters more to me than anything else in this world. I don't give you a hard time because you're around, I give you a hard time because I'm afraid that if you ever left her again, she'd never be the same." I didn't want to say that I thought she would die, but deep down I thought she would if she ever lost him. Parents fear what they can't control when it comes to their children and I couldn't control him.**_

_**He cleared his throat and said to me with a weak smile, "You don't have to worry about controlling me Charlie, Bella already does that. As long as she wants me with her, there is no other place I will be. If I can promise you anything, I can promise you that." How did he know that was what I was thinking? I stared at him, a little shocked but a little relieved because again, I believed him. "I'm a man of my word Charlie." He said with a little bit of arrogance shining through.**_

"_**Well then, I have no qualms with you. We at least have one thing in common. I'll probably still give you a hard time though, she is my daughter after all."**_

"_**Fair enough." He said with a smirk.**_

_**I stood up and stretched, it was getting late, I had shared my thoughts long enough, I wanted to get home and zone out. There was a game coming on at three and I welcomed the idea of saying nothing to anyone for the next four hours. Edward rose up from the ground and brushed off his pants, he wanted to leave too. We started gathering up the gear when I heard rustling coming from the tree line. Suddenly Edward froze and snapped his head up in the direction of the rustling. "Hang on a minute." He said quietly.**_

"_**It's probably just a deer or something." I reassured him.**_

"_**No, I think it may be something bigger."**_

"_**Bears came out of hibernation weeks ago and most head up river…wolves and coyotes are more nocturnal and are rare around this area…" The rustling was getting closer now, it did sound bigger than just a deer, an elk maybe? Then it emerged from the tree line, a black bear that looked like it weighed seven hundred pounds plus, and it was lumbering straight toward us. It must have smelled the fish we had been gutting. I stepped back carefully toward a backpack I had brought, if I could just get my gun out before this bear lost its' patience, we'd be fine. I slowly reached toward the bag and reached into the front pocket, I had a handgun in there that was loaded, all I had to do was release the safety, and we'd be okay. The bear was advancing toward us more quickly now and swiping at the air a little, he growled softly, his eyes focused on Edward. "Edward," I said calmly, "step back slowly son,"**_

_**Edward was in a crouch and staring at the bear defensively, the bear was getting cagey; he was going to charge him soon. Great, so now that we've cleared the air and I've basically threatened to kill him if he ever left Bella again, **__**I'm**__** going to get **__**him and **__**myself killed by a bear all because we didn't properly dispose of our trash. Now that's great parenting.**_

_**I almost had my gun ready; I was trying not to make any sudden movements due to the state of irritation the bear was in at this point. "Edward!" I hissed through my teeth, "Get back!"**_

"_**Stay behind me Charlie." His voice was steady and defiant, he was still in a low crouch, he looked like some kind of predator about to attack. What was he doing?! He was going to get killed. He slowly started to stand upright, never taking his eyes off the giant beast. The bear stood about eight feet away from him now and its' growls were becoming more pronounced. **_

_**I had my gun ready, "dammit Edward, get back already." Maybe he wasn't as mature as I thought.**_

"_**Don't move Charlie." He growled back, he moved closer to the bear, he was going to get us both killed. The bear stood up on its' hind legs.**_

_**I cocked the gun as a warning and let my arm outstretch in front of me, "Edward, if you don't move I'm gonna shoot you and the bear."**_

_**He turned his head quickly and looked at me, his eyes were murderous and infuriated but he was still maintaining his composure, "Charlie, put the gun down, do not shoot, trust me." His voice was low and steady, "trust me." I don't know why I felt it was safe to lower my gun. Edward looking away from the bear for that split second did it, the bear let out a horrifying bellow that seemed to shake the ground. Its' head went back and its' yellow teeth and black eyes were all that could be seen on its' massive, horrifying face. Edward turned back to the bear and stood upright and walked slowly to the bear, his arms fell back as he stuck his chest out and stared down the bear, I thought I heard a growl come from him, but how could that be possible? And then the strangest thing happened, he took a few more steps toward the bear and continued to stare at him, and just like that, the bear let out another fearsome bellow and then looked as if it were becoming anxious, like Edward posed a greater threat to it than it posed to Edward. The bear came back down on all fours and slunk back into the woods, growling in protest the whole time. Edward stood at the tree line just staring into the woods for a moment, it looked like he was trying to calm himself down. **_

"_**We better go. It'll be back soon." He said suddenly. I put the safety back on my gun and shoved it into one of my cargo pockets, not proper gun etiquette, but I didn't bring my holster with me. We gathered up all of the gear and started walking back to the car, Edward was very quiet the whole way, I felt like I had seen something I wasn't supposed to have seen and it disturbed him. What was the whole performance all about? I hoped he didn't behave this way around Bella, I pushed the thought out of my mind. We reached the car in half the time it had taken us to get to the bridge originally. We loaded everything up and started heading back home. I felt like I needed to say something to him, but I wasn't sure if it should be thanks or what the hell were you thinking up there you arrogant jackass? I didn't think either would be appropriate. We made some small talk along the way home, but I was mentally exhausted and I'm sure he was too so we mostly just listened to the game on the radio. We got back to the house and Edward helped me bring everything in and put it away, Bella wasn't home yet and he looked tired.**_

"_**Thank you for everything today," he said politely**_

"_**Would you do it again?"**_

"_**Only if I was invited." He replied with a crooked grin**_

"_**We'll see." I said "do you want me to tell Bella you'll be back tonight or that you'll see her tomorrow?"**_

"_**I'll see her tomorrow, I've had enough peril for one day."**_

"_**Alright then, I'll tell her. And by the way, whatever you did out there today, thanks." **_

_**He nodded at me, and simply said, "Goodnight Charlie."**_

_**I nodded back at him as he walked toward the door, "night Edward."**_

_**I heard him get in his car and speed away; he didn't seem to have a whole lot of concern for traffic laws. I'd have to say something to him about that. I collapsed down on the couch and turned on the remainder of the game, I still had five innings to watch. Bellla came home around six and headed straight toward the kitchen.**_

"_**Sorry I'm late dad, I'll get supper going."**_

"_**No worries Bells. What'd you do today?"**_

"_**I did some errands around the house and then I hung out over at Angela's." she called from the kitchen.**_

"_**Oh, that sounds like fun." I said cheerfully. I turned back to the game and Bella finished cooking dinner. We had pasta and meatballs, well, I had meatballs, she mostly had pasta and salad.**_

"_**So, how was your fishing trip with Edward?" She asked nonchalantly.**_

"_**Fishing was…interesting." I said shoving a meatball into my mouth. Bella froze with her fork poised midair.**_

"_**What do you mean interesting?"**_

"_**Nothing, nothing, Edwards's a good kid. Good fisherman too, caught five fish, never seen someone gut and clean a fish like him."**_

"_**Oh, really? Sounds like you had a good time. What'd you talk about?"**_

"_**He talked about his family a little, about his adoption; we talked about the two of you briefly." She immediately stiffened up and looked anxious. "Relax Bella, he didn't get into details, I just, have a better understanding of how he feels about you and he understands where I stand with him, no harm was done."**_

"_**Um, okay dad." She said unsteadily**_

_**I wondered if I should tell her about the bear incident. "A funny thing happened though, while we were out there."**_

"_**Oh yeah?" she said calmly, "What was that?"**_

"_**Well, there was a bear…" her face turned white and she looked panicked.**_

"_**Easy Bells everyone's fine, we didn't clean up right away after cutting up our fish and a black bear was nearby and came out of the woods at us."**_

"_**Didn't you have your gun?"**_

"_**Yeah I did, but I didn't have to use it."**_

"_**Why not?' she sounded nervous, like she knew what was coming.**_

"_**It ran off, before I had to use it. It seemed like it was, intimidated by us. Actually, it seemed like it was afraid of Edward. Ironic huh? I'm always telling you kids to stay out of the woods and be careful and your old man's the one getting attacked by bears."**_

"_**That's pretty weird dad. I'm just glad you're both alright." She said going back to her dinner.**_

_**The night got pretty quiet after that, we cleaned up all the dishes together and then watched some TV for a little while. At around ten, Bella got up from the couch yawning and announced she was going to go to bed. I heard the shower turn on upstairs and after about half an hour, she said goodnight at the top of the stairs. I followed suit soon after, exhausted and weary from the long day.**_


	7. Chapter 7 Over Stimulated

******I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

******BPOV**

******Chapter 7**

******Over stimulated**

******It was about ten o'clock when I was finally ready for bed. I had taken a shower, gotten dressed and said goodnight to Charlie, and I almost expected that when I got back to my bedroom, Edward would be waiting for me like he sometimes did. I opened the door giddy with excitement to finally be near him but my heart sank when I realized that he hadn't come. Maybe he really did mean it when he said no more sleepovers until school was over. What a letdown, oh well I thought to myself trying to shake it off, I've got the whole day to spend with him tomorrow. I climbed into bed with a book that I had been reading in between homework assignments and work and tried to refocus my attention away from my disappointment. It didn't help, I turned on my CD player in addition to the book I was trying to read in hopes that would work. Of course it didn't, this wasn't what I felt like doing tonight and I was now becoming frustrated. **

******I slammed the book shut and threw it on the floor and roughly pushed the button on my CD player to silence it. I snapped off my bedside lamp and went to sleep. I was slowly falling into a deep and pleasant sleep, halfway between consciousness and unconsciousness and I felt my body becoming heavy and I knew that I was about to fall completely asleep, when I heard a familiar swoosh type noise. I had the covers pulled up to my chest and was lying on my side with my bare arm draped over the top of the comforter. I didn't feel the bed move but I felt the cool, familiar back of his hand tracing a sensuous imaginary line from the top of my bare shoulder slowly down to my fingertips. I kept still and my eyes closed as a smile crept across my face. He leaned over and I felt his cool, sweet breath sweep over my shoulder and his lips kiss it gently. **

**"****You're late." I whispered, still not moving.**

**"****I'm very sorry," he hummed back in his soft velvety voice.**

**"****I'm glad you're here now." I reached behind me and took his hand in mine.**

**He squeezed my hand gently in response. I slowly turned over to face him. He sat propped up against the headboard with his free hand resting carelessly in his lap. He turned his head to the side to look at me and smiled, serene and appreciative. Still holding one of my hands in his, he slowly moved it up to his face and held it against his cheek. He dropped his hand away and I stroked his strong square jaw with my tiny fingers. The moonlight reflected on his face and I could see him close his eyes and a look of absolute pleasure come over him. He let his head fall a little bit against my warm hand and I carefully moved my fingers slowly back up his jaw and then down his neck and nestled them just inside the collar of his t-shirt. His chest rose and sank as he breathed out a contented sigh. **

******I couldn't help but smile at him. It was a completely preposterous thought to me that here I sat with someone that was considerably the most fearsome predator anyone could come up against. He could snap me like a twig if he looked at me the wrong way, and yet, here he was; so peaceful and calm and just because I was near him. **

**"****I do love you so, Edward Cullen." I declared dramatically. **

******He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me and smiled widely, "and I, you, Isabella Swan." He put his hand over mine, I hadn't noticed it was still tucked in his shirt, he didn't seem to mind. After a moment, he readjusted himself against the headboard and sat back. He pulled me closer to him so that my head was against his chest and put one of his arms around my shoulders. He sweetly kissed the top of my head and began to speak. "What did you do today?"**

**"****Not much, I ran some errands and hung out with Angela. Not nearly as exciting as your day I'm sure."**

**"****Oh, my day wasn't all that out of the ordinary actually."**

**"****Really?" I asked, "You fight off bears as an everyday thing usually? Oh, wait, I forgot who I was talking to."**

**"****Oh, Charlie mentioned that did he?" I couldn't see his facial expression, but I could swear he was smirking.**

**"****He briefly touched upon that, yes." I teased.**

**"****Everything turned out fine."**

**"****Except that now Charlie thinks you're some kind of beast master that can communicate with animals."**

**"****Anyone can communicate a threat; I just have more experience that's all. You could probably stare down a bear if you had enough practice." He stated matter of factly.**

**"****I could?" I asked in disbelief.**

******He looked at me quizzically and then joked, "Well, no, maybe not you." We sat quietly for a few minutes as he lazily played with the strap of my tank top. **

******It sounded like it was starting to rain outside and it was steadily picking up, I could hear it tapping on the roof and a soothing feeling came over me. I had never cared for the rain much, not until shortly after I moved to Forks, now I almost enjoyed it. **

******I felt some kind of bizarre energy coming from Edward, like he wanted to talk about something but didn't know how to start, like it made him uncomfortable to bring it up. I don't know why I thought this, maybe it was because instead of just laying beside me he was sitting up and had me sitting with him, I had a feeling he was trying to keep me awake, which was fine. I tried to offer up a little help. "So, not that it matters, but why did you come by so late anyways?" I asked.**

******His hand suddenly stopped playing with my strap, "I was talking with Alice." He explained, "She had her vision again."**

**"****Which one?" I asked, but I had a feeling I already knew the answer to that question.**

**"****She saw me as a human again." He said, a little fearful. **

******I sat up and turned on the lamp on my bedside stand. "Is there any way it could have been a ****__****flashback********, and not a vision? I mean, can her signals ever get…crossed?" I felt bad putting it that way, it sounded crass and condescending to me.**

******He smiled weakly, apparently I hadn't offended him. "I don't think so Bella. How could she have a flashback? She's never seen me human before. I was dead long before she came around. ****__****I******** can barely remember what I looked like before all this happened." He said gesturing at himself with his pale hands.**

**"****What does this all mean?" **

**"****I wish I knew. Her visions can change, nothing is set in stone," whenever anyone said that about Alice's visions it always sounded like a waiver on a consent form to me. "but, she seems pretty certain that it is going to happen, and also very concerned for me."**

**"****How is it possible? How can you just," I searched for the words, "turn back? I thought immortality was a 'done deal'." I was so confused.**

******Edward laughed a little at my comment, "I thought so too, but apparently Alice sees otherwise. I spoke to Carlisle hypothetically about it a little bit. Alice and I haven't told anyone else in the family about what she's been seeing; we don't want to worry anybody until we find out more information about what's going on. I asked Carlisle about any legends in our history about a vampire being able to turn back into a human. He said there are ancient legends about very powerful vampires possessing a living person and 'borrowing' their body for awhile, but that was mainly for evil purposes and was only temporary." **

******My thoughts briefly went to an Anne Rice book called Tale of the Body Thief in which something like that had happened to a vampire named Lestat. I quickly refocused and listened as he continued. "Carlisle was pretty sure that there was nothing in our history that matched up with what I was asking him. I was about ready to drop the subject to avoid any suspicion, when he remembered something. There is an old Eskimo myth that Eleazar told him about which says that every few hundred years a healer is born. This healer is a person that has the ability to mend and repair any living thing that has a soul; it can be a human or an animal with practically any ailment. The healer has to look into the eyes of the wounded and see that their soul is still intact and pure and then he or she must lay their hands on the wound and it is done. The sick or dying individual is repaired and given another chance." **

******Edward pressed his hands together and rested his forehead against them and looked down at his lap. "What about the healer?" I asked, "What happens to them?"**

******He furrowed his forehead in concentration and narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain to me. "From what Eleazar says, each time the healer saves someone, they grow weaker. A healer's life is shortened considerably. Each time they give of themselves to save an individual, it wears on them. The healer has to choose very carefully who they are going to give their energy to, they have to be sure that the thing they are saving is going to live a good life and affect others in a positive way, otherwise, it's just a waste."**

**"****That's a beautiful story, but why did Eleazar tell Carlisle about it?"**

**"****The Eskimos truly believe this story, that it's not legend, but fact. They also know about us, similar to the Quileutes, but they keep their distance and we keep ours, Eleazar is friendly with some of the Eskimo chiefs, for whatever reason, and many years ago, they told Eleazar that the healer had healed a vampire."**

******My eyes widened in disbelief, "and it worked?" I whispered completely stunned.**

**"****Supposedly yes, but nobody knows for sure. The healer disappeared shortly after the alleged incident and her lover with her."**

**"****She, she healed a vampire because she loved him?"**

**"****So the story goes. But nobody knows for sure, this was a hundred plus years ago. The Eskimos haven't seen another healer since she disappeared and they're about due for one. That leads me to believe she may still be alive."**

**"****Why do you say that?" **

**"****A new healer is born only when the world has been without one for awhile."**

**"****So what you're saying is, two healers can't exist at the same time?"**

**"****Correct." I tried to wrap my mind around all of what Edward had said, it was all so confusing, but the pieces seemed to fit in some strange magical way.**

**"****Carlisle told you all of this without becoming suspicious?" **

**"****Not exactly, Alice and I pieced it together by dissecting the story a little bit and came up with this theory. Carlisle didn't tell me all of what I just told you, it's just a hypothesis." He explained.**

**"****That's a lot to digest." I said wearily.**

**"****Tell me about it." He agreed.**

**"****Well, okay, so you've explained to me in a very scientific way how this vision may be possible, but you haven't told me how you feel about all of it."**

******He became very quiet and dropped his eyes down to look at his lap again, he took my hand and flipped it so my palm faced up. I was sitting erect now, I don't know at what point I had sat up but I was no longer lying against his chest, I was sitting cross legged beside him. He fingered my hand nervously, making loose circles in my hand. Very rarely did I see him act so human, anxious, like he thought I was going to get upset with him.**

******He cleared his throat uneasily, "I feel like, if given the option, if there was ever a possibility to become," he cleared his throat again "human again, I would, want it more than anything, more than anything besides being with you of course. I guess you could say it would be second on my list of desires." He didn't look at me, he couldn't, it seemed, and he looked shyer and sadder than I had ever seen him. **

**"****Why Edward?" I whispered. I didn't question him out of anger or in disbelief or even to talk him out of it, I asked out of pure curiosity. I wanted ****__****his******** life, I wanted to be strong and beautiful and young. I wanted to feel safe all of the time and not die if it meant I could be with my loved ones forever. Why would he want my life? A human's life was full of weakness, sickness and aging, a life of acne and hormones and fear.**

**My expression must have revealed my disbelief because he suddenly said to me, "Bella, I know you think that being what I am has a lot of advantages, the strength, the youth and everything else, but the limitations I have far outweigh the rewards, especially now."**

**"****Tell me." I pleaded**

**"****Where to begin?" he sighed. He hopped off the bed unnaturally, and started pacing around the room, trying to come up with the right words. "I have to hide who I am from everyone; I have to play a role that I know nothing about anymore. The only person I can come close to being myself around is you and even then," he shuddered, "you haven't seen everything there is to see about me." I didn't know what that meant and it made me uneasy.**

**"****Every day of my 'life' I have to put forth so much mental energy to control myself. It gets easier as time goes by, but it's still a challenge to keep up. I can't, I can't go out in the sun, I can't sleep, I can't talk about my life with anyone. Everyone around me with the exception of a few is 'weirded' out by me."**

**"****Edward, that's not true." I said softly, trying to console him.**

**"****It only gets worse…" He stopped pacing and looked at me, his tawny eyes were intense, he walked over to the bed and sat down, his gaze locked on me, "I can't be with you the way that I want to." His eyes left my face for a second to look my whole body over. My heart started to race, my breaths quickened up a little. "I can't touch you or kiss you the way I want to, the way ****__****you******** want me to; it's agonizing." He placed his hand on my cheek and pressed his cool face against my other cheek and breathed deeply against my ear, I thought I would explode right then and there. "If I did what I wanted to do to you right now, I'd kill you." He breathed, only a sick and twisted person would be turned on by that comment I thought to myself, but I immeasurably was. "I can only imagine what it would be like to…" His voice dropped into a low, sultry tone.**

**"****I don't care." I swooned back. His breathing quickened, I felt his chest rise and fall against mine.**

**"****I can't give you children," he whispered, not moving away from me, "I want to…"**

**"****I want you to too." **

**"****I haven't heard my heart beat in ninety years…" I put my hand over his chest; all it did was move heavily with his breathing. "If I could get some of those things back, think how much better this could feel." He murmured in my ear. I didn't think this felt so awful, I thought to myself. The idea of it feeling even better made my cheeks flush.**

**"****But if you became human again," I started, "Then you would eventually die." I said sadly.**

******He pulled back from me and stared into my eyes. The fire that glowed behind his pretty irises pulled back a little bit, he was coming down off his swoon, keeping himself very controlled like he always did. "That's true," he said softly, "but it's the quality of a person's life that matters most in the end, not the quantity of it." **

******I smiled weakly back at him, he was absolutely right. How much I would love to be the mother of his children some day and be with him utterly and completely in every way, it hurt my heart to think about it. How could I argue with him? I decided that I wasn't going to. I nodded silently at him, he smiled.**

******His smile quickly dampened into sadness. "I am very afraid of something though,"**

**"****What are you afraid of?"**

**"****I am afraid that if I, ****__****change********, that you won't, feel the same way about me."**

******I was actually a little offended by that. "Edward!" I exclaimed, he looked away from me, ashamed; I took his hard face in both my hands. "Edward, look at me, I am in love with ****__****you.******** Nothing you do to me or to yourself will ever change the way that I feel about you, ever. I am in love with ****__****who******** you are, not ****__****what ********you are."**

******The fire in his eyes sparked up again, too quickly for me to even comprehend it, he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me toward him and planted his cold, full lips against mine. He pulled at my hair ever so gently and moved his mouth intensely over mine. This was torture I thought to myself, knowing that in a minute he'd get over stimulated and would have to stop. I went with it for as long as he would let me. I grabbed at his hair and moved my mouth with his. He let go of my face and grabbed my waist hard, he was taking it further than usual this time. He slipped his icy hands under my tank top and I flinched with surprise. He let his hands move slightly up the small of my back and let them rest there, and then he pulled his face away from mine. I felt the flush of my cheeks rise and ebb and let my breathing slow down again.**

**"****Thank you." He whispered.**

******The steadily increasing rain had tapered off a little and made a gentle pattering sound on the window pane. I had been over stimulated more than once tonight and I was starting to get tired. Though he had removed his hands from the inside of my shirt long ago I could still feel them there as if they had left a burn where he had rested them. Edward found my CD player and turned it on, I had been listening to a Ray Lamontagne album earlier and it was still in there, he turned the volume down low and let it play. He turned off the lamp and wrapped me up in my comforter and lay down beside me facing me, playing with my hair until I fell asleep. **


	8. Chapter 8 Preparation

******I do not own Twilight or any of these characters**

******BPOV**

******Chapter 8**

******Preparation**

******Graduation was a few short weeks away and we were sending in our final paperwork for the University of Alaska. I decided to give social work a fair go as a major, I figured that if it wasn't working out for me, it would be early enough to change my mind at the end of freshman year. Edward was keeping his major a secret from me. All he told me was that it was a subject that he had never pursued before but had become quite interested in the past few months. I let it go at that. The university itself was located in Anchorage, but Anchorage was a fairly urban area and the Cullens liked their privacy, they had a house in a small rural area on the outskirts of the city, closer to the mountains. The 'cousins' of the Cullens that lived in Denali were a few hours away from us if we needed anything. It seemed like a pretty good arrangement and I was beginning to look forward to it. Edward said that the climate during the summer, fall, and spring were close enough to what it was out here, just a little cooler and a little shorter in duration but that the winters were very cold. I would have to bring lots of layers of clothing, it didn't sound much different than living in Forks. He showed me pictures of the house his parents owned that we'd be living in for the** next four years but said that I couldn't quite get the effect of it unless I saw it for myself. He wanted to make arrangements for him, Charlie, and me to go out to Alaska before classes started so that Charlie could see where we would be living. He thought it might ease his mind a little, but Charlie could not get the time off from work. Graduation came and went and the summer was on. Alice threw a huge graduation party for the three of us of course and invited the whole school. Surprisingly, most of them showed up, Edward claimed that the only reason for that was so that everyone could get a look at the mysterious home of the reclusive Cullen children while Alice claimed it was because they were our friends. I thought it was a little bit of both. Alice was going to stay fairly local with her education this time around. Jasper still wasn't ready to be around a lot of people and so far from home yet and Alice didn't want to be far from him, so she was going to attend school somewhere in Seattle and commute every day. She was still planning to pursue her veterinary technician major and was looking for a practice to do an internship. It was all very strange to see, but then again, what was she going to do with all the time she had on her hands?

It was the end of July and Edward and I would have to be leaving for Alaska in a couple of weeks. The summer had gone by too fast; I spent as much time as I could with Charlie and my school friends. I flew out a couple of times to spend time with Renee and Phil. I felt like once I was in Alaska, it would be a long time before I saw any of them again. Edward was very understanding and kept his distance while I said what seemed like goodbye to everyone. I even went fishing with Charlie and Billy a few times. Jacob, Billy's son, my friend, came as often as he could but, supposedly, he was away a lot these days with the pack. I thought he was away more because he was still upset with me since Edward had come back. Jacob saw Edward differently than I did, Jacob saw Edward as an enemy, and Edward was not too fond of him either.

This afternoon was muggy and overcast, I sat on a broken tree trunk on the edge of a meadow Edward and I frequented and fanned myself with my school schedule.

"You really didn't get your schedule in the mail yet?" I asked with skepticism in my voice.

It startled me when I looked up and saw him hanging by his legs upside down in a young spruce tree above me. "You look ridiculous." I laughed.

He laughed softly, "Honestly Bella, I haven't gotten anything from the university in months."

"Really?"

"Sorry." He said continuing to hang from the low branch. "Except, wait a minute," he fished through his pockets while maintaining his balance perfectly. "What's this?" he pulled a piece of paper out of his jeans that looked similar to the one I had in my hand.

I grabbed at the paper impulsively and he snatched it away from me. With one fluid movement that I could barely piece together he flipped out of the tree landing on his feet on the ground and started reading from the paper.

"Monday, nine o'clock, advanced chemistry one, ten o'clock college literature one, eleven o'clock…" he continued on. I jumped up from my tree and tried to grab his schedule out of his hands. I was fighting a losing battle, but in the end, he let me win.

I read the schedule through once, twice, three times, my lips moving quickly with every word. My eyebrows furrowed a little and I crinkled my nose up in confusion when I realized what his major was. "Edward Cullen, freshman, culinary arts major?!"

I looked at him in disbelief, "you're going to be, a culinary arts major?"

A wide grin crossed over his face, "Does that seem strange to you?" he asked innocently.

"Edward, you don't even eat. Technically, you're not _supposed_ to, doesn't it make you sick?"

"A little." He shrugged. "But, that's irrelevant. I kind of, enjoy, cooking and _you_ have to eat, so I figured, why not?"

"Aren't you worried you're going to have to try a lot of the things you prepare?"

"I have food allergies." He didn't seem too concerned.

"Wouldn't you rather be a history major or something? You haven't tried that yet."

He crinkled up his nose as if the mere suggestion offended him. He answered "I'm not really into history. Land, money, power, that's basically what it's all about. That doesn't appeal to me; I get much more out of a subject that stimulates my senses." He walked closer to me and touched my bare arm with his hand and traced a line around my wrist. "Besides, isn't that what every woman wants, a man who cooks?" he wrapped his bare arms around my waist and held me in a cool embrace. When the weather was hot like this Edward worked better than central air.

"That's what I hear." I said smiling, "but you could work on a maggot farm and I would still want you."

"Maybe I'll change my major after all." He teased as he leaned in to kiss me.

The morning of our departure to Anchorage had come, I had planned to stay overnight at the Cullens and Charlie would meet us at the airport the next morning to see me off. He had relaxed his parental reach over me the last couple weeks since he figured Edward and I would be at school together anyway. He had also been easier on Edward since their outing together, but was still frosty at best most days.

I had been packing the few things I had for three days and little by little, my bedroom became more vacant. I had always pictured myself going shopping for a dorm someday. Having to buy flip flops to shower in and that obnoxious little bathroom tote that all college students were notorious for having. I pictured myself buying door beads, wall posters and bean bag chairs and of course the micro fridge filled with wine coolers and frozen dinners. I had imagined getting some nightmare of a roommate, I figured with my luck she probably would have been some kind of Goth kid or a pothead. I probably would have gotten along better with the Goth kid. I can't say that I had looked forward to this aspect of college life, nor did I dread it either, I just figured it would be a rite of passage for me. Maybe I would have met someone my junior year and we would have moved in to an apartment together off campus. It turned out that none of that was going to happen, I felt like I had skipped over it all together. I wondered what it would be like living with Edward, we were always together as it was, but I've heard that moving in together is a completely different experience. I hoped it would be all I thought it was going to be, that he thought it was going to be. I didn't have any doubts as I looked at my empty room, it just looked like a room now, it didn't look like it was mine anymore. It didn't seem like some of the most important and wonderful nights of my life had taken place here. I looked sentimentally at the window that Edward always used, and my mother's old rocking chair, it all seemed like a dream to me, a wonderful, impossible dream.

My thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the front door, it wasn't Edward's knock, it was Alice's. I opened the door and saw her gleaming heart shaped face bubbling over with delight.

"Bella!" she put her tiny little arms around me and gave me a big bear hug. Jasper was coming up the driveway behind her. "I brought manual labor!" she said gesturing toward him as he came up the front stairs.

"Hello Bella." Jasper said warmly. His blond hair was tucked up under a baseball cap and he was wearing a blue cotton button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He looked like he should be on a beach somewhere in California with all the other beautiful people of the world. He gave me a quick smile as his gold eyes, not unlike Edward's met mine.

"Jasper, grab Bella's things." Alice ordered. Without a word he quickly headed up the stairs to my bedroom to grab my stuff.

"Oh, no, I can help him, there's like three things up there," I started, within seconds Jasper was out the front door carrying all of my bags and a trunk toward the jeep parked in the driveway. "Erm, thanks." I said uneasily

Alice smiled sweetly at me, "are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Charlie wasn't home, so I didn't need to say goodbye to him yet. I made sure I had my keys in my hand, took one more look at the living room and headed out to the car. I passed my old red pickup truck on the way and suddenly stopped, "wait a minute!" I ran over to the front of my truck and saw what I wanted, the Chevy emblem. I took a pocket knife out of my jeans and slipped it under the metal plus sign, it took a little jiggling but then it finally popped off. I pulled the nails out of it and shoved it into my pocket with the knife.

Alice watched me in amusement, "Sentimental." I responded, pretty impressed with myself. A big grin went across her face and she threw her arm around my shoulders and skipped me over to the jeep. "You are going to _love_ college!"

I got to the Cullens and Esme was in the kitchen cooking dinner with Carlisle.

"Esme, you didn't have to...I could have ordered something." I started, embarrassed that she was making me dinner.

"Nonsense Bella, you're going away from home for awhile, you should have a home cooked meal before your departure."

"Although rumor has it, you'll be getting plenty of cooked meals from Betty Crocker over here." A big voice boomed from the garage. I turned to see Emmett grinning ear to ear as he walked in with Edward trailing miserably behind him.

"All day I've been getting nothing but flack for this." Edward said annoyed. Emmett just kept laughing and slapping him on the shoulder.

"Emmett, stop giving your brother a hard time." Esme said in a motherly tone.

"Come on Esme, culinary? Edward can't eat! Why would he want to even take a _cooking class,_ let alone become a culinary major?"

"I can think of one very good reason." Esme said crossly putting her hands on her hips.

Emmett gave me a glance and then turned his head back to Edward who was standing against the counter now with his arms crossed over his chest. "Man are you whipped." He said shaking his head. Edward raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

"That's enough Emmett," Carlisle interjected "Be respectful of your brother's choices. Bella can I get you something to drink?" he said turning his attention to me.

"Water is fine." I croaked, a little embarrassed.

I ate the meal Esme had prepared for me and it was delicious. She made what she thought was traditional comfort food; turkey meatloaf with garlic mashed potatoes and honeyed carrots, green salad and biscuits on the side. I wish I could have eaten more, but obviously, I was the only one eating. I insisted on cleaning up the dishes once I had finished, but she wouldn't let me, she said she was happy to do it. Esme was wonderful; it was like she had been put on this earth to be a mom, not just a mother, but a mom. I secretly wished she really was my mother sometimes. Edward took my hand and took me over to the piano and started playing softly.

"Do we have a piano at our place in Alaska?" It sounded strange referring to it as our place, I still couldn't believe that in less than twenty four hours we would be living together.

"No, we don't, but I've got a guitar over there, so that'll do for awhile." He answered.

"You play guitar too? I didn't know that, electric or acoustic?"

"Both."

"Of course, of course you play both." I sat and listened to him play for awhile and watched everyone around me. Rosalie had come back from wherever she had been and she and Emmett were sitting together on the loveseat watching a baseball game together cheering and booing at the opposing teams. Emmett apparently was a red sox fan and Rosalie was a Yankees fan and they were bickering back and forth as the two teams fought it out on the field. Carlisle and Esme were sitting together in front of the huge picture window as a late summer rain beat against the glass. Esme sat reclined on the massive couch reading and Carlisle sat at the end of the couch with her feet in his lap, rubbing them, totally engrossed in his lovely wife. Jasper and Alice sat at a huge mahogany table playing chess together, holding hands between moves. Is this really how simple life was once you found your other half? Everything seemed so peaceful and natural, I hoped it would be like that for us when we were together and had no distractions. Everybody here seemed like they had figured out what was important to them and now they were just enjoying each other. It was such a soothing feeling; I just took it all in and smiled. I hadn't even noticed that Edward had stopped playing.

"What are you thinking about right now?" He asked, studying my expression carefully.

"It's just so, peaceful here. Everybody seems like they just want to be with each other." I said stupidly.

"The nights are very quiet around here." He said softly, "One of the greatest advantages of living this long is that when you realize that you can achieve happiness, that you're allowed it, everything becomes very simple and straightforward. You find someone that makes you whole when you're with them and so, you make it your business to just be with them. It's not like you have a whole lot to worry about anymore after your body dies."

"I suppose that's true." I agreed.

He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear "Come on, let's go to bed, we've got an early flight tomorrow."

He rose from the piano bench and took my hand "Goodnight everyone, we're, well, Bella's going to bed."

"Goodnight son, Bella." Carlisle said warmly. Esme smiled and the four siblings just held up a hand to wave. I nodded back and followed Edward upstairs.

Because Edward didn't sleep, there was no bed in his room, I had never slept in here before, and it felt a little strange, forbidden almost. He did, however, have a massive couch that Esme had made up with a big down comforter and half a dozen pillows. I knew Esme had made it up because I could smell her elegant floral scent all over the blankets, it filled me with comfort.

"I'm sorry about the accommodations, Esme offered to make up the spare bedroom for you, but I thought you'd be more comfortable sleeping in my room, and I kind of liked the idea of it too." He said sheepishly.

"This is perfect, thank you." I assured him.

"Alice put all of your toiletries in the bathroom down the hall for you so you can do your human thing." He joked.

"I love your family." I said suddenly.

He smiled widely, "Well, good, because they love you too, even Rosalie, I think you're growing on her."

"I have noticed I don't feel the daggers she shoots out her eyes at me as much as I used to."

"That's a good sign." He laughed. "Oh, I forgot, I got you something, a little going away present you could say." He said excitedly walking over to his closet.

"Edward, you don't need to…"

"Shhh…" he put a finger over my mouth, "no, this is good, I think you're going to love it." he smiled mischievously as he brought out a bag from Hot Topic and handed it to me. "I figured you might want something new to wear to bed."

I glared at him and then smirked a little. I reached into the bag and pulled out a black fitted women's shirt. I unfolded it to look at the front of it, I burst out laughing when I saw what it said, "I run with vampires" I read aloud. I looked at Edward and he looked delighted.

"Do you like it?"

"I do, I do, but it's a size small, it's probably going to be too tight."

"I know" He purred. I paused and stared at him for a second and started to crumple up the bag, "wait, there's something else in there too."

I reached back into the bag and felt around, something very small and soft was at the very bottom. I pulled out a pair of black satin boy shorts underwear with red ribbons weaved up the sides of the legs, I glared at him.

"What? They're just pajamas." He said innocently putting his hands up in front of him, "They matched the t-shirt, the sales girl said so." I shook my head and got off the couch and kissed him playfully on the mouth. He pushed me back down on the couch and I took him with me giggling. He straddled me and hit me with a pillow, and then there was a knock at the door "come in," he said as he lightly pinned my wrists at my sides.

Alice came bopping in and let out a little gasp, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, everything's fine." He said climbing off me, "I just gave Bella her going away present."

"Do you love it?" Alice asked excitedly

"I do." I said sitting up

"I was pretty impressed that Edward picked it out himself, he's usually so serious." She said in a mocking voice. He shrugged his shoulders.

"What can we do for you Alice?" he asked

"I was wondering if I could talk to Bella for a minute?" she asked

"Absolutely. I'll come back later." He said lightly, he turned and walked out of the room flinging another pillow at me as he left.

"What's up Alice?" I asked.

She immediately got up and shut the bedroom door and I knew we were about to have a serious conversation. "I needed to talk to you alone."

"Ok," I said uneasily, "what's the matter?"

"Edward has told you undoubtedly about the visions I've been having lately right?"

"He told me of _a_ vision you _had._" I said

"Which one?"

"The one where you see him becoming a human." I said quietly so no one would hear

"Bella, I have that vision at least a few times a week. It's constantly there, unrelenting and unchanging. It never goes away. It worries me."

"Why does it upset you so much?"

"Well, I'm worried that he's going to get into some kind of trouble, that he might be in some kind of danger, and I don't want to alarm either of you, but I can't take it anymore. I want you to promise me something." Her honey colored eyes were wide with concern.

"Anything Alice, you know that." I said trying to ease her mind

"You need to look out for my brother. He's going to be so far away from us that we'll be unable to help him if he needs us right away. If I can sense something is coming, I can try to get down there, but with everyday things, you need to watch over him."

"Of course I will Alice, that goes without saying. I'll help him get used to being human again."

"That's not what I mean Bella. I mean, of course he'll need a little help, but I'm not worried about that, Edward knows what to do. I think he may come across an, adversary of some sort, I can't be sure, maybe I'm just overreacting, I very well could be. But nevertheless, I want you to have something." She reached into the wide pocket of her apron shirt and pulled out a silver object.

"Jesus, Alice what is that?!" I said hopping off the couch in fear.

"Bella, sit down and keep quiet." She hissed, "This is very important. I'm not going to tell you what this is yet; all I'm going to tell you is that it could save Edward's life. I want you to keep this in a very safe place where he won't find it. I want you to practically forget that you have this until you need it."

"But Alice, how will I…" she stopped me short, she held up a finger to silence me and shook her head from side to side, her eyes were dark and serious.

"What I can tell you is that you will know when to use this. Trust me when I say, that your instincts will be correct and you will know what to do with this and when to use it, I can guarantee it."

"So I will have to use it then?" I asked wearily

"I don't know that for sure. Give me your hand." She held out her little hand, her red nail polish glistened in the light I hesitantly placed my hand out.

She placed the object in my hand carefully. It was a 35 ml syringe full of some kind of clear liquid. I take that back, the liquid wasn't really clear, it actually had an iridescent quality to it, when the light hit it just right, it shone a silvery metallic color. I closed my hand around the syringe and it was very cold to the touch. On the end of the syringe was what looked to be a 16 gauge needle, sharp and glistening and hollow. A chill went through me as I walked over to my trunk that Jasper had brought up and hid the syringe far out of site and hopefully out of my memory.

I could feel Alice watching me as I stepped carefully back across the room and took my place beside her on the couch. "Thank you Bella." She whispered smiling this time. All of the darkness and seriousness had left her eyes and she just looked appeased now.

"Alice, he's going to be okay right?" I asked anxiously

She put her arm around me and said, "Bella, as long as you're with him, nothing bad will ever happen to Edward. I know it." she kissed my cheek softly and stood up to leave.

"Alice," I called to her my voice trembling

"Yes," she said coming back toward me

"Do you know when, when Edward is going to be, transformed?" I couldn't think of a more descript word at the time.

"Um, I think it may happen at the end of November." She whispered "I see the two of you coming home for some reason and staying for about a week or so, I think it will happen then."

"Thanksgiving maybe?" I asked

"Well, technically yes, but the two of you weren't originally planning on coming home until Christmas right?"

"Oh, yes, that's right."

"You'll be back at Thanksgiving, but it will be for another reason."

"How long will it take?"

"Three days."

"Is he going to be in any pain?"

"Not that I can see, I think he might actually be sleeping the whole time." She said with a warm smile

I smiled to myself then, "He's going to get to sleep." I whispered. "Does he know about any of this?" I asked her

"No, I didn't tell him any of that."

"Will you if he asks?"

"I don't think I will, it would probably go better if it was unexpected. He's already made his decision."

"I know." I said

"Take care of him Bella, everything he does now ends and begins with you, I hope you know that."

"I do Alice, and I feel the same."

"I guess I knew that." She said sadly, "But I've got to say something I am his most annoying sister.

I laughed a little and she gave me a hug, "Get some sleep now, you've got some big things ahead of you.

I woke to Edward lightly shaking me and calling my name. "Time to get up, love."

"What time is it?" I croaked rubbing my eyes

"Five." He answered

"A.M?" I groaned in disbelief

"Our flight leaves at eight; we're meeting Charlie for six."

I grumpily sighed and rolled myself off the couch, not even looking at him and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. I took a shower and brushed my teeth and got dressed. This was going to be a long flight so I just threw on jeans and a t-shirt. I headed downstairs in search of something to eat. I almost forgot that I wasn't in my own house and hoped they wouldn't mind that I was just making myself at home. It actually startled me how comfortable I was here. I entered the kitchen and Edward was sitting on a stool at the counter reading a newspaper. I reached into a cabinet where I knew the bowls were kept, I could feel Edward watching me from behind his newspaper. I looked up at him and caught him in the act. I headed to another cabinet and reached for a glass. I heard him mutter something under his breath and chuckle softly.

"What?" I asked sounding a little more irritated than I meant to.

He folded up his newspaper and placed it on the counter. "Nothing. I've just never seen anyone so at ease in a house full of vampires."

"Have you ever invited anyone else over?"

"No, not really."

"Well then how do you know?" I stood at the counter with my empty bowl, spoon, and glass and then lost my nerve. Edward got up and reached into another cabinet and pulled out a box of cereal for me, and then poured me a glass of juice.

"Esme keeps the place stocked for when you come over." He gave me a playful smile. He sat back down at the counter and I took my spot beside him. "Ready to fly?" he asked brightly.

"Ready as ever." I said happily, "how long is the flight?"

"A while." He answered casually

"Ah." I said, "Glad I brought a book and headphones."

"Esme also packed you some snacks, Carlisle was concerned your blood sugar might get low."

"Are you serious?" I asked, I hated them fussing over me so much.

"They take better care of you than they do me." He said with a crooked smile.

"You seem like you can take care of yourself most of the time." My mind went back to the conversation I had with Alice the night before and I shuddered. '_Take care of him Bella,' _her words echoed in my head, I shook it off.

"Good morning Edward, Bella," Carlisle greeted as he walked into the kitchen adjusting the cuffs on his shirt. "Almost ready to go?"

"Almost," Edward said nodding at me as I finished up my cereal.

"Excellent, I'll get Emmett to put your bags in the car, unless you need something out of them," he added, I knew it was directed toward me.

"Oh, no thanks Carlisle, I've got everything I need." I said cheerfully. Carlisle winked at me and left the room quickly, I heard him calling Emmett. I went to bring my bowl to the sink to wash it, but Edward had already reached for it and was cleaning it for me. He placed it silently back into the cabinet.

"You know, for a vampire you're very domestic." I said adoringly

"I do what I can." He said nonchalantly. "Come on, let's go meet Charlie." He took my hand in his and led me to the living room.

Although the airport was several miles away, it seemed like it took no time at all to get there. We arrived at six am on the dot and headed to the gate. Charlie waited for us with a coffee for me.

"Dad!" I called out hurrying over to him

"Hey Bells!" He said hugging me. "Do you have everything you need?"

"All packed."

"And did you get to eat this morning?"

"Yes, Esme bought me cereal and juice and she made dinner last night. I also have some stuff in my carry on if I get hungry."

"Good." He said. He paused and just stared at me for a minute, he looked like he was going to cry, so he just hugged me again. He let go and kept his arm around my waist and turned to face the Cullens, who were keeping their distance so we could have some privacy. We walked over to them and Alice was the first to greet him.

"Hi Charlie!" she called in her sing songy voice. She danced over to him and hugged him, was there anyone she didn't greet this way?

"Hey sweetie!" He mumbled back, clearly a little uncomfortable. He looked over at Carlisle and Esme and walked toward them to greet them "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen," he reached out to shake their hands.

"Please Charlie, you can call me Carlisle, and this is my wife Esme." Esme embraced him warmly. Charlie was not used to all of this affection.

"Alright," Charlie said with a little smile, "I want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for Bella. It's good to know she won't be living in some dorm and that Edward has relatives nearby. It really, um, puts my mind at ease. As hard it is to see her go, I know she's in good hands." He said glancing over at Edward.

"Bella's safety and happiness is just as important to us as Edward's Charlie, we're fortunate that we can do this for them." Carlisle said gently as the charm just oozed off him.

"Well, thanks again." Charlie said quietly. He then turned his focus to Edward and headed over to him, he looked calm. "Edward, you make sure you take care of my daughter." I expected Edward to lapse into some kind of elegant declaration of his commitment to me as he always did, but he didn't.

"I will always." He said simply. His answer seemed to satisfy Charlie's request because Charlie gave him a meaningful nod and patted his shoulder roughly. My heart ached for Charlie; I was going to miss him so much. I hoped he would find someone to take care of him while I was away.

"Well, we should probably get going." Carlisle announced, "You'll have to be heading up to the plane soon." He strode over to me and kissed my forehead, Esme followed and embraced me tightly. "Goodbye son," he said warmly to Edward hugging him, Esme looked like she was going to burst into tears. She grabbed Edward and kissed him a hundred times on his head and face. He smiled, a little embarrassed, and hugged her "Contact us as soon as you arrive." She said quietly to him, her voice trembling a little.

"I will, I promise." He answered

Alice was next, she came over to me and threw her arms around me, "Come home soon!" and then she said lowly in my ear so no one could hear "Remember everything I told you. It's all going to be fine." I nodded as tears filled up my eyes; this was beginning to get emotional for me. She hurried over to Edward and jumped into his arms nearly knocking him over, he started laughing and hugged her back "see you around." She said playfully.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper said their goodbyes as well and then it was my turn to say goodbye to Charlie.

"Oh dad," I whispered as I hugged him, "are you sure you're going to be alright? Cuz I'll stay if you need me to."

"Don't be silly Bells, your old man will be fine. You'll probably be back before I even know you're gone, your mother's the one who's the wreck." He joked trying to lighten the moment.'

"I love you Dad."

"Love you too Bells," he held me for a moment more, "now hurry up before you miss your flight.'

"Okay." I said with fat, wet tears in my eyes

Charlie was getting choked up too, before he lost it, he called over to Edward, "Edward, come here and get my little girl to stop crying." Obediently Edward approached us cautiously, Charlie gently pushed me toward Edward and he put his arms around me, I wiped my eyes on his shirt.

"Bye Bells," Charlie said weakly, "call me when you get there, I don't care what time it is."

"Okay dad," I whispered smiling sadly. With that Charlie and the Cullens turned and headed out of the airport together. I stood with Edward for a minute more trying to compose myself, and when I was ready we headed for the plane.

"Everything is going to be alright." He whispered in my ear when he caught me looking like I was going to cry again. "Charlie is going to be fine, I promise." I just nodded quickly, sniffling a little. I knew that if I tried to talk I would break down. He squeezed my hand as we approached the entrance to the plane. We took our seats and Edward let me have the window hoping that would help to calm me down.

I burst into tears the minute the plane started to move, full blown sobbing even, I was a little embarrassed, people were starting to stare at me. I wiped my face on the sleeve of my t-shirt. "Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked concerned.

"I just, I'll be okay, I just need a minute. I thought I'd be okay, but seeing Charlie, and saying goodbye, and your family…" I stuttered my voice hiccupping a little, Edward's face grew more alarmed, "I didn't think it'd be this big a deal, and then, my bedroom is empty, and my truck and Charlie's alone, and…"

Before I could let out another stream of incoherent thoughts Edward gently placed his cool hands on either side of my face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; tears still trickled out of my tightly shut lids. "Bella," he said in the softest most angelic voice, "shhhh, calm down." He kept his hands on my hot, wet face and slowly moved his thumbs across my eyelids, I was instantly calmer. "Listen to my voice, shhhhh." It worked, all the background noise on the plane vanished, and all of my frantic thoughts quieted, all I could hear was him. I slowly opened my eyes and he was there. My hiccupping sobs ceased, he raised an eyebrow expectantly as if he were waiting for me to freak out again. His hands were still on my face, "Better?" he asked a little uneasily.

"Much," I said, "thank you."

He let out a deep sigh of relief and released my face, "thank God, I thought I was going to have ask the stewardess for a valium." He said, teasing now. He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't expect to react that way." I said sheepishly looking down at my lap.

"Bella," he said tenderly, "we don't have to go through with this, if you're not ready, it's okay, we can go to school in Seattle or something."

"No, no! I'm ready I just needed, a moment."

"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked

"Yes I am." I said smiling for the first time in the last hour. I moved over in my seat and tucked my hand under his folded arms and rested my head against his shoulder.

He turned his head to the side and looked down at me "you're going to be the death of me yet." I then heard him mutter softly to himself, "I live for ninety years and this is what's going to end up killing me."

I smirked a little as I shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep.


	9. Chapter 9 Anchorage

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 9**

**Anchorage**

"Bella, wake up we're here." I opened my eyes and looked around; everybody was up and out of their seats and milling toward the exit. Edward stood up and was reaching into the overhead compartment. He tossed a sweatshirt down at me, "you're probably going to need this."

"What's the temperature out there?" I asked slipping my arms into the sleeves.

"A hot and balmy sixty degrees." He answered as he threw a long sleeved knit shirt on over his t-shirt. "Come on, you're going to love it." He held his hand out to me and he pulled me up and out of my seat without any effort.

There was a playful element to his usual languid stride as he practically dragged me down the corridor to the baggage claim.

"How far are we from the house?"

"About forty minutes." He said as he grabbed our massive pieces of luggage off the carousel with minimal effort.

"How are we going to get there? Are we taking a taxi? Or hitching a dog sled?" I asked, trying to be funny.

"Nope," he said still grabbing at our luggage, "Tanya's picking us up."

My heart nearly stopped. Tanya was from the Denali coven that was close friends with the Cullens. Tanya was also a vampire who had many times tried to 'hook up' with Edward unsuccessfully. This might not go over well. She might kill me on the spot. I suspected that she was probably drop dead gorgeous and made up in my head that if she saw that Edward had chosen plain, old, underdeveloped me over her she would fly into a fit of rage and tear me limb from limb. I accidently let a loud gulp escape from my throat.

"Bella, relax, Tanya will love you just as much as everyone else does, she should be arriving any minute now."

"I think she's already here." I said nervously. Edward turned and saw me staring off into the distance near the airport exit and he looked to see what had drawn my attention.

He smirked and said, "Yes, that'd be her." Less than one hundred feet away stood an enormously tall woman that looked like a goddess. Her skin was pale like Edward's and she had buttery golden eyes. Her long strawberry blond curls draped all around her perfect body down to her waist. She wore a teal sweater dress with a cowl neck and high brown leather stiletto boots. She was absolutely stunning and looked like she belonged on a runway. I looked down at my old sweatshirt and shabby sneakers and immediately felt underdressed in her presence.

"Edward," she purred as she floated toward him.

He read the expression of horror on my face and said lowly so only I could hear him, "don't worry, I prefer brunettes." with that he started toward her, but as he passed me, did something very out of character for him and slapped me on the butt. I let out a cry in surprise as he kept walking away from me, he looked back over his shoulder at me coyly and winked. I couldn't help but laugh softly to myself as he went to greet her, I quickly followed him.

Tanya went to Edward and hugged him. Upon getting a closer look at her I realized that she wasn't enormously tall, but about the same size as Edward and she didn't look too much terribly older than him, maybe in her twenties. I guess that would explain the trendy outfit.

Edward politely removed himself from her eager embrace and said warmly "it's good to see you Tanya, you look lovely as ever. I want you to meet someone very special to me." He gestured for me to come closer, I obeyed, "Tanya, this is my Bella."

"Bella," she said affectionately and held out her hand to me, "it's so nice to finally meet you. Edward and his family positively glow when they speak of you." She sounded genuine as she let her golden eyes study me.

"Thank you," I said taking her hand, "I've heard a lot about you too."

Tanya looked quickly at him and back at me "it's going to be so nice having the two of you so close by. It can get so tedious being so isolated sometimes, it'll be nice to have some friends nearby to talk to and spend time with."

"Absolutely," I agreed, "it'll be great having some familiarity around being so far from home and all."

"Whatever you need, we are here. Bella you'll get to meet everyone else soon enough, but tonight I have to get you and Edward to your new home so you can start to settle in."

"Sounds great!" I said happily, "I can't wait to see it."

We loaded up all of our belongings into Tanya's Yukon and headed to the house. The sun hadn't quite set yet, so I could take in some of the scenery as Edward drove; he insisted. I had expected Alaska to look very different from what it did, even after looking at pictures online. I had it set in my mind that everything would be covered in snow and igloos and there would be people in fur everywhere. But, I was completely wrong about that. The city of Anchorage seemed huge, like Phoenix or Seattle. It was very metropolitan and although it was a little cooler than it was in the summer in Forks, it was actually very comfortable. Everything around me was green, not white. The trees, the land, even the mountains were green. It looked a little misty by the rivers and lakes, but the skies seemed very clear and fresh, everything looked like it was so, unspoiled. Edward was right, I did love it. I never thought I could get used to living around so much green and dampness, but I had grown to love it over the past two years.

We had been driving down a main roadway for about thirty minutes, when Edward suddenly made a turn off the main road toward a more rural area. We took another left, a right, drove for awhile longer and then we were heading down a heavily wooded driveway lined with pine trees. He put the car in park in front of a huge two story log cabin set high off the ground.

"Welcome home." He said pressing a button on Tanya's visor. Tanya smiled warmly at him; I think I felt my cheeks flush. Simultaneously, an overhead door opened. Nestled in the giant garage was Edward's familiar silver Volvo parked next to a larger silver Cadillac escalade sport, I assumed for winter driving.

"Why silver?" I asked sarcastically.

"Scratches don't show up as easily." He said as he stared at the sparkling SUV, he looked like he would start drooling in a moment. "Ready?" he asked turning his attention back to me. He hopped out of the truck and hurried to the trunk, Tanya and I followed him and helped bring the luggage into the garage. Once we had emptied her car, Tanya got ready to leave us.

"Certainly give us a call when you're all settled in," she said excitedly, "we'll all get together and catch up."

"We'll do that." Edward said smiling genuinely at her, "Thank you again Tanya." He clasped her hands gently.

"Very nice to meet you." I said sweetly, "I look forward to seeing you again soon." Tanya waved to us and got in her car, and in a flash, she was gone again leaving Edward and I in the garage with a pile of suitcases and trunks.

I grabbed up one of my suitcases and started to drag it toward the back door when he stopped me. "That can wait; I'll take care of all that after. Right now I want to show you around."

Instead of going in through the back door, he took me back out of the garage and led me to the front door of the house. A series of fieldstone steps led up to a small porch upon with the door sat. Over the door the Cullen family seal stood proud and prominent carved into the dark wood. Edward took a key out of his pocket and had the door open in seconds, we entered the already lit up living room and I gasped.

Before us stood an enormous field stone fireplace that stretched up all the way to the top of the cathedral ceilings. Strong, thick, wooden beams cascaded across the top of the ceiling and the floor was made up of wide pine boards. The walls were painted off white with the exception of one accent wall that was painted a brilliant joyful burnt orange color, against it was a mocha colored sectional suede couch with a flat screen TV hanging up. Nestled in the corner of the living room was an alcove type area lined with shelves of books and a narrow picture window. A wooden floor lamp sat alongside a green chaise lounge and flooded the area with a warm clean light. The living room gave way into a den that housed two beautiful antique drafting tables facing one another and a stereo system and music collection that took up practically the whole wall. The opposite wall was a convex picture window that overlooked the eastern part of the property. The den led into the dining room, which seated ten and was decorated with elegant matching corner shelves that housed several pieces of amber colored carnival glass. The chandelier was black wrought iron and gothic in nature. I loved it. The kitchen was state of the art with every possible gadget imaginable and decorated in warm shades of olive green and gold. A pair French doors coming off the kitchen led out onto a wide wooden deck that overlooked the sprawling property behind the house. It didn't end there; the living room also had an open staircase that led upstairs. There was no banister on the staircase, which made me a little nervous, it was very modern but didn't look out of place in the rustic cabin. He led me up the stairs without saying anything, a single lit tea light sat on the edge of each step lighting the way. There was art everywhere and color, but nothing seemed overdone, everything matched, but never blended into the background. The cabin had four bedrooms, the master being reserved for us, and Edward had taken one for himself that he had set his computer and guitars up in. The other two bedrooms were just extra bedrooms for now, but he said that I could do whatever I wanted with them.

The master bedroom was very different from the rest of the house because it was primarily black and white. The walls were white and the king sized bed was black wrought iron, similar to the piece in the dining room. The dressers and bedside stands were black as well, but it was very clear what the accent color was in this room; red. Not bright candy apple red, not maroon or burgundy, but autumn red, blood red. A huge red down comforter lay over the bed, making the wrought iron striking. Peacock blue sheets overlaid that and a dust ruffle the same color encircled the bed. A white comforter with black filigree was folded at the foot of the bed with matching pillow shams. The valances over the windows were red, and there were a few scattered pieces of accent furniture painted the same peacock blue, a bench being one of them that was decorated with red throw pillows. Everything that was soft and comfortable in the room was the color of blood, and it all seemed so inviting to me. There was a bathroom coming off the bedroom that housed a Jacuzzi and double sinks and coming off the bathroom was a walk in closet large enough to be a room unto itself.

The whole tour of the house probably took a matter of minutes, but I felt like I had been wandering around it for hours. I realized that I hadn't said anything the whole time and neither had Edward.

He cleared his throat nervously and said "I hope you like it."

I turned to him and said breathlessly, "It's amazing, I love it." a wide grin crossed his face.

"I'm glad." He said running his fingers through his hair and touching the back of his neck.

"Esme and Alice must have really out done themselves." I said turning back to look at the bedroom as a whole.

"Actually, Bella, I did all of this." He said shyly.

I whipped around and stared at him in shock. "You, you did all of this? The decorating the placement? All of it? The candles?!"

"I did. This, um," he couldn't get the words out, "isn't, um, Carlisle doesn't own this house, I do. We do."

I crinkled up my brow in confusion, "you bought a house?" I asked him in disbelief as I stepped closer to him.

"Actually, I had it built, for, us, that is, if you want to. You can say no if you want, I'll just, sell it."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put my hands together over my face, ".me.."

"The Cadillac's yours to if you want it." He added nervously

".me.." silence was heavy in the air as I stared at him in astonishment, he looked back at me, edgy, like he was afraid I was going to laugh at him. "This is _our_ house?" I whispered.

"If you'd like it to be."

I didn't know what to say, the tears that had been welling up in my eyes started to leak out and I just ran to him and hugged him. "Thank you so much," I whispered into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you." He whispered back.


	10. Chapter 10 Fighting Words

I do not in any way, shape or form own twilight or these characters

BPOV

**Chapter 10**

**Fighting words**

That first night in the cabin was a little different because although I loved it, everything about it, it hadn't quite sunk in that this was home for now, I felt like I was on some luxurious vacation someplace far away. I almost expected Charlie to walk in from work and ask me how my day was, or to hear Emmett's booming laughter as he made some crass joke at Edward's expense. But none of that happened; it was just Edward and I, alone, in our house. We sat quietly in the living room together watching TV, his arm around me. We had decided that we wouldn't attempt any type of unpacking until tomorrow, that tonight we would just be still. I called Charlie as soon as I had gotten over my shock to let him know we had arrived safely. I talked to him for about half an hour, giving him the rundown of the house we were staying in, I gave him no implication that it belonged to Edward, and told him that I had met one of Edward's cousins at the airport. Charlie sounded very happy for me, but I could detect a hint of sadness in his tone. I called Renee after that and talked to her for an hour or so and Edward called Carlisle and Esme.

By ten I was starting to get sleepy, I nodded off a few times and the third time I felt my head fall and hit Edward roughly in the shoulder he said, "Maybe you should get some sleep."

"No, no, I'm fine." I mumbled, shutting my eyes again.

"Bella, you're not fooling anyone here."

"Yeah, you're probably right." I stood up and stretched, as I did, my shirt lifted up a little exposing my navel; I caught Edward staring at my skin. I immediately dropped my arms down. "I should go to bed." I yawned, I couldn't believe how much I'd been sleeping these past few weeks. "Are you coming too?" I asked hopefully.

"Bella, I can't sleep, remember?"

"Of course I remember, I just wasn't sure if you were going to join me." I said defensively.

"Of course I'll join you." He said tenderly "Go do all of your human stuff and I'll be up in a minute." He said with a crooked grin.

I smiled back at him and headed upstairs to shower and get ready for bed. The master bathroom was huge with a pulsating shower head that felt wonderful against my sore neck and shoulders. Spending all that time on a plane and sleeping on a couch the night before had really done a number on me. I stayed in the shower longer than I usually did taking in all of the comfort from the hot steam and the perfume from my shampoo. My mind began to wander; I wondered if Edward had to shower? Probably not, since he didn't sweat and smelled wonderful all the time. I wondered if he did anyways because it felt good. It was all so strange to me I wondered how normal he really was day to day. I only saw the finished product when I was with him. Did he have to shave? I didn't think so, but who knows? I thought back to my Anne Rice novels that I had read in middle school, whenever a vampire cut their hair in those books, it would grow back the next day. I shook my head, those were just fictional works that had no basis with the real world and Edward was certainly very real. My heart beat faster when I thought back to my shower question, what if he did shower and what if I walked in on him one day…my heart skipped a beat and I got light headed. I really needed to get my hormones under control. I shook my head to get the image of Edward's chiseled, alabaster, wet body that I had conjured up out of my mind. I couldn't think about him like that, he'd probably be pretty cross with me if he knew all of the impure thoughts I had about what we could do together if the chance ever permitted itself, which I knew it never would. Might as well stop torturing myself. I shut off the water abruptly and got out of the shower and dried off. I reached into my carryon bag looking for pajamas and found the t-shirt Edward had bought me. I smiled to myself at how cute I thought it all was, impure thoughts gone. I threw on the shirt and reached into the bag to look for some bottoms and found the satin boy shorts, impure thoughts back. Frustrated, I angrily shoved the underwear back into the bag and found a pair of cotton red boxer shorts, I put those on instead. I combed out the snarls in my wet hair and brushed my teeth, I flossed and rinsed with mouthwash, hit the light and padded down the short hallway into the bedroom.

Edward was lying on the bed with his hands folded behind his head looking up at the ceiling. "That was quite the long shower miss." He purred rolling onto his side to face me. In doing so, the sleeve on his tightly fitted black t-shirt rolled up exposing his bicep. My mouth suddenly became very dry, what was my problem tonight?

"I, um, was thinking about some things and lost track of time." I croaked.

He rested his chin on his right arm and examined me closely, saying nothing, his honey colored eyes gazed at me intently through his thick black eyelashes. His bronze highlighted hair looked like it had been recently regelled and pointed out in all directions messily. My god he was so beautiful.

"Nice t-shirt" he teased, "looks like it's missing something though." His eyes gestured at my bottoms.

"Oh yeah, well, those must be packed away in one of my other suitcases." I said tensely as I walked over to the opposite side of the bed.

He rolled back onto his back and folded his hands across his stomach "Am I making you nervous?" he asked, amused

"Are you trying to?" I retorted

"Not particularly."

"Then no." I crawled into bed and curled up beside him, resting my head on his chest

"What do you do at night?" I asked suddenly

"What do you mean?" He asked me dreamily

"I mean, if you were at home right now, in Forks and not with me, what would you be doing right now?"

"Right now?" He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, looking as if he were trying to come up with a good answer. "Right now, I would probably be reading, or playing music, or playing chess with Alice or talking to Carlisle."

"All night?" I inquired

"Until the others went to bed."

"What do you mean until the others went to bed? They can all sleep?"

He chuckled a little, "not exactly. How do I put this?" he said uneasily, "until the others went to bed…with each other." He added in at the end.

"All night?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, I'm not really sure what goes on. I don't ask for any details clearly, I suppose if they wanted to…they could do that all night, but I'm not sure that they do. I just know that at a certain time in the evening, everyone starts going to bed and after awhile, I'm the only one left. That's usually the time when I would go and watch you sleep."

"That sounds, really sad to me."

Edward shrugged his shoulders, unaffected. "It is what it is. Why do you think I'm the best musician in the family? Or why I've seen so many movies and am so well read? In the past several years, I've had a lot of time on my hands."

I giggled a little at the idea of a house full of amorous vampires and the mental picture of Edward trying to read while all of the paintings were getting shaken off his bedroom wall. The giggling turned into a full blown guffaw at his expense as I tried to explain the mental image I had of the Cullen household after hours. I was relieved when he joined in on the laughing.

"I'm so glad that you find my life more amusing than I do." He said smiling as he roughed up my hair with his hand. He let his hand stay in my tangled locks for a minute and then brought it down and around my chin. He tilted my face up to his and kissed me long and soft. His fingers knotted around my hair as he became more intense, sitting up a little now. I couldn't take this anymore, I had just gotten my feet back on the ground, and here he was getting me all worked up again. I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth next.

"Stop." I said softly, pushing him back a little. "You may be able to control yourself, but I can't, so to avoid any problems, I think we should stop." I said it in such a calm and matter of fact manner that it startled me. Edward looked hurt, but obediently settled back to where he had been laying and folded his arms behind his head.

"That's fine." He said quietly

"I'm sorry Edward." I pleaded

"Have I done something wrong?" He asked confused.

"No, no, of course not. You do everything very, very well, too well. You know how to push all of my buttons; mentally, emotionally…"

"Physically?"

"Definitely physically, and I am having a very difficult time handling it." I chose my words very carefully and slowly.

"Why?" he asked

"Because I don't want you to stop and I know that you feel as if you have to, and I don't want you to…" I was trying to phrase this as diplomatically as possible.

"This is posing a problem isn't it?"

"Well quite frankly, YES." My voice sounding more irritated than I meant it to "it's a big problem as a matter of fact." A year and a half's worth of pent up sexual frustration making itself very evident.

He sat upright in the enormous black and red bed now, looking like he was trying to piece together what I had just said. I watched him carefully and I knew he couldn't do it, he couldn't understand my frustration, or could he?

"Explain please." Two words that usually meant that Edward was getting irritated

"Explain what?!" I exploded, "I am an eighteen-year-old girl with a steady, gorgeous, strangely seductive boyfriend. My hormones are going haywire, we just moved in together and we can't even enjoy our privacy because you have some kind of complex about getting physical with me! What do I need to explain about that scenario?" I was sitting cross legged on the bed facing him and he looked like he was falling apart.

"Some kind of complex? Do you have any conception of the very real reasoning behind that 'complex' Bella?" He snapped at me.

"Edward, that's fine, you're not ready, and that's fine. I'll wait. I'll wait until we're both humans, I'll wait until we're both vampires, I don't care, but in the meantime…"

"In the meantime what?" He asked coldly, he was standing now, the bed was between us

"Let me show you something," I crawled across the bed at him and knelt in front of him in all of his infuriated glory. "Give me your hand." I held my hand out to him, he hesitated, but then gave in. I took his cold, pale hand in mine, which trembled now and slowly pulled it toward me. I pressed it firmly against my chest. "Just listen" he watched me intently. My heart beat steady and strong we were still for a minute. "Now touch my face." I ordered. Slowly, with his other hand he reached toward me like he had done a hundred million times before, he laid the back of his hand against my hot face and caressed my cheek softly. My heart beat faster. "Touch my neck." I whispered, he obliged, I held his opposite hand hard against my heart. I could feel my heart starting to race, I felt my cheeks flush ever so slightly, and my breathing became louder. He looked like he was starting to understand my angst. "Now quick, just stop touching me." I held his hand still against my chest while he dropped the other hand away. My heart slowed and became arrhythmic for a minute.

"Do you see now? Do you see what happens whenever you touch me and then stop?" I asked, my voice becoming fierce again "I'm going to require a cardiologist before I'm thirty if you keep this up." I wasn't trying to be funny.

"What do you want from me?" he asked quietly, he sounded tired, he was making his hands into fists by his sides

"I want you to stop giving me mixed signals."

He gave a short, bitter laugh and said, "I thought that my intentions on how far this could go were made very clear right at the start."

"They were once, but I'm not so sure lately." I muttered angrily.

"What?!" He opened his fists and started pacing around the bedroom; Edward was starting to lose his composure, something I had rarely seen him do in front of me before.

I climbed off the bed and followed him, he looked like a caged animal trying to relieve its' anxiety, trying to find a way out. "Come on Edward! You haven't noticed how different everything is lately?! You're pushier, you're touching my stomach and staring at me, and grabbing my butt in public, buying me underwear, and let's not forget the king sized bed in this red and black bedroom!"

He glared at me, his amber eyes darkening like he was about to protest, but he said nothing and so I kept running my mouth.

"RED Edward, red?! Red the color of passion, of blood, of the womb, it's symbolism in its simplest form! Not to mention the wrought iron bed?! Anyone whoever saw 9 ½ weeks or body of evidence or any other soft porn knows that a bed like that is just used as a prop for other things! Everything about this bedroom screams have sex with me Bella!"

He stood now with one arm crossed across his chest and the other covering his mouth like he was going to get sick any second. His eyes locked on mine the whole time, boring a hole through me, eyes that were filled with horror and rage.

I walked past him, flinging my hair to one side purposely so he could smell me as I stormed by. I sat back down on the bed with my back to him. I picked up my rant where I had left off since he wasn't speaking at all.

"But I can't, Edward, because everything has to be on your terms or not at all. I don't know what to do anymore; I don't know how to respond to you. I know how I want to, but every time I do, I feel like a child getting their hand slapped away when they touch something they shouldn't. I know that you're trying to be strong, and test the waters to see what you can handle, but I know what you _can't_ handle, at least for awhile. But for you to give me the slightest indication that you can over and over again, it's just…it's just cruel." And I was finished. I had said what I needed to say, I wondered if he still were in the room, I couldn't hear anything. At this point, I would probably be relieved if he _weren't_ present for that last part.

"Cruel?" his sharp voice broke the silence. He had heard me after all. "You're calling that cruel?" within a second he was in front of me, his fierce, beautiful face only inches from mine, he took my chin in his hand and stared into my eyes, "you want to know what's cruel Bella?" his voice was a harsh whisper, "How about for starters, the sound of your pelvis breaking as I climb on top of you, or what about your bleeding, mangled, wrist that I accidently tear open with my mouth." He let go of my chin and walked away from me. "Try explaining that one to Charlie, or Carlisle, or Angela."

He turned back and saw the look of uneasiness that must have been creeping across my face. "Sickening isn't it?" he said flatly.

I was starting to get uncomfortable, I had never been afraid of Edward, but I was feeling it a little now. He wasn't acting like _my _Edward, he was channeling something else. I protectively wrapped my arms around my stomach and waist. Immediately I saw his anger soften slightly, when he noticed my reaction but then I saw it flare up again.

"Do you have any idea how it feels to have your stomach grind so fiercely that it causes you to double over in pain? Or to feel like your head is going to split in half and blind you? That's what happens to me if I try to go too far with you. That's my body telling me that if I don't stop I'm going to hurt you." He sat down on the bed beside me, "And this happens all of the time." There was a sharp desperation to his tone, " I'm not talking about when we first started spending time together, no, I'm talking about yesterday, last week, a month ago, hours ago, it never goes away." His voice got more anxious with each word.

"You're not going to hurt me." I said staring at my lap and shaking my head, but I didn't sound as confident as I wanted to, I just sounded like I was trying to convince myself that he wouldn't.

"Bella," he said sternly "as long as we are two different kinds of beings, this can _never _happen."

"That is unless," he started, I became hopeful and he saw that in my expression and his face immediately became dark and bitter again, "Unless the sound of bones breaking and flesh tearing gets you off." He lay down on the bed again and said with a shadowy smirk "in which case, we could go at it right now."

I was disgusted. Disgusted by his crass remark and his sudden temperament change, I wasn't going to sit here and listen to this any longer. I rose slowly from the bed and gave his a look of utter disdain.

"What's the matter? Hop on." He said glancing at his lap, smirk still intact.

I slowly walked away from the bed toward the door, eyes locked on him. Edward sat up slowly and his smirk faded, his mouth became a straight line and his eyes shone fiercely, "Didn't think so."

Tears welled up in my eyes, I held my ground and blinked them away, "I'm going downstairs."

Edward's face became soft and concerned, I knew he was regretting what he had just said and I didn't care.

"Don't follow me." I whispered harshly. I turned my back on him and headed downstairs, shutting the door behind me.

As soon as I shut the door, I regretted every word I had said. I shouldn't have started a fight with the most important person in my life over something so trivial. Especially knowing how difficult it was for him and that he was only trying to protect me. How petty I was and how mature he was. I felt awful, but in my defense, he said some pretty upsetting things to me too. I decided to sleep on it. When I got to the living room, everything was dark. Not yet familiar with my new surroundings, I felt around blindly on the wall until I found the switch plate and snapped it on. Even though it was August, there was a chill in the air; I scanned the room until I found what I was looking for, a fleece blanket. I grabbed it, made a mental note of where I was in the room and shut off the light again and I stumbled over to the couch.

Night number two sleeping on a couch, I was so exhausted, but my adrenaline was pumping from our heated discussion. I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, his words echoed in my head and I tried to forget them. The house was silent, I couldn't hear Edward pacing any longer, and I wondered what he was doing. Now that I was alone, I let my tears fall endlessly all over my t-shirt. So much had happened today in a matter of hours and I needed to break down and have a good cry, it got to the point where I didn't know what I was crying about anymore. What had done it? My leaving Charlie? Homesickness? Meeting Tanya? Being given a house and a new car? Or my fight with Edward? I still didn't know, eventually, I just gave in and fell asleep.

"Bella?" an angel's voice whispered. I was dreaming, I had to be, there was no way he had forgiven me.

"Edward," I answered back to the dream, "Edward, don't leave."

"I'm right here, love." Then I felt a cool hand brush my cheek and I knew I wasn't dreaming.

"Edward?" I opened my eyes and he was kneeling beside the couch in fresh clothes.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Are you very angry with me?" His face was very serious.

"Angry, no I'm, wait what?" I answered perplexed, roughly pushing back my knotted hair.

"Are you very angry with me?" he repeated

"No, of course I'm not 'very angry' with you." I was just starting to wake up now and comprehend what he was saying. "If anything you should be angry with me, I had no right, to attack you like that."

"I've been attacked worse before." He smiled feebly, "You were only telling me how you felt, and I reacted poorly to it. I'm very sorry."

"I'm sorry too." I said meekly.

"We forgive each other then?"

"I forgave you the second I walked out of that bedroom."

He smiled a little more reassured, "you look like you had a terrible night." He said lightly touching my swollen, tear stained face.

"You look like you had a pretty rough night yourself." I said briefly touching the dark purple circles around his eyes. He looked away, seemingly embarrassed.

"I'm going to have to hunt soon, it's been a few days now, and all the stress of moving, it's taken a lot of my energy."

"Me too." I agreed quietly.

"Bella, you're right, lately I have been putting you in a lot of awkward situations. I'm going to stop that." He paused and a coy smile crossed his face, "Well, not stop, I'll just try to do it less."

He raised his left palm up and placed his right hand over his heart and said theatrically, "Please accept my humblest of apologies. I am sorry that my supernatural sex appeal is too much for your human heart to take, I will try to control myself and behave more like a gentleman henceforth."

It was then I knew that our fight was over. I smirked at him and said, "Well, I wouldn't go that far, I'll take whatever I can get."

He frowned at me and said, "You'll take gentlemanly behavior only for now."

"Yes sir." I moped, putting it on a little thick.

"Good." He said taking my hand in both of his and kissing the top of it. "So, I am going to fix you something to eat and then you can go off and do your human thing, I'll go off and do my vampire thing and then we can get started unpacking. Is that alright?"

"Sounds like a perfect day to me." I said sleepily, I stretched and my shirt went up a little, exposing my skin, I caught Edward looking again and smiled to myself. He quickly got up and headed to the kitchen to get breakfast going.

I followed him and sat down one of the cushy kitchen chairs, he had already poured me a glass of juice. "What did you end up doing last night, you know, after I left?" I sipped my juice carefully

"I went for a walk." He said placing a bowl of cereal in front of me. I heard a popping noise and saw that he had made me toast too, whole grain, and he was spreading peanut butter on the two slices. He placed that in front of me and I looked at him quizzically. "Protein," he added with a grin.

"I didn't hear you leave," I said taking a bite of the toast.

"Bella, come on" he said in an obvious tone, of course I didn't hear him. "Besides I left via the bedroom window."

"Why? We do have doors, two or three of them in fact." I said sarcastically

"I didn't want to disturb you." I shrugged my shoulders and started on my cereal. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Not very well." I said miserably

"Tonight you should definitely sleep in _a_ bed, whichever one you choose, I'll stay with you, if you want. I won't try anything, I promise." He reassured me.

"I _am_ going to sleep in a bed tonight. I'm going to sleep in _our_ bed, and you _will_ be beside me and you _will_ try something. I wouldn't want it any other way. End of story." I stated matter of factly finishing the last of my cereal.

"Okay…" he said slowly, "but what about the screaming red comforter, and the black wrought iron bed and all that business? I don't want to upset you again."

"Edward please," I said rolling my eyes. "The bedroom is beautiful, I love that you designed it, I was just having trouble with a lot of things yesterday and unfortunately you got the backlash of it. It was petty and childish of me to argue with you about something so insignificant. I should be making you breakfast and begging for your forgiveness."

He smiled and, "oh, Bella," he took my hand gently and looked up me and sighed, "I don't think you're fast enough to catch me a snow leopard."

I giggled and slapped him on the shoulder, "you're so gross." He started laughing and dropped his head down against my hand.

"Alright," he stood up and grabbed my empty dishes and brought them to the sink, "I'll do those later." He took a sweatshirt off a hook on the wall, "I need to go out for a little while, I'll be back soon."

"Okay." I said adoringly. He came over to me, kissed my forehead and left. I got up from the kitchen table and washed my dishes.

Edward wasn't gone for more than an hour or so, in the meantime I had gotten dressed and had started pulling some of my suitcases from the garage. When he returned the purple circles that had been around his eyes were gone and his irises were a warm liquid amber color. We spent the day unpacking and organizing everything we had brought from home, which was mostly clothing, books, and CDs; a fairly accurate depiction of what mattered most to two teenagers starting college


	11. Chapter 11 The Outcasts

**I do not own Twilight or any of its fantastic characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 11**

**Outcasts**

We had been living in Anchorage for about a week and school would be starting in a few days. It was easier adjusting to our new environment than I ever thought it would be. For Edward too, I watched him with fascination as he would move around the house like he had lived there his whole life, putting things away and folding clothes. My fascination grew even more at night when I saw him washing dishes, doing laundry and reading. He seemed so human, and so content. I don't think I had ever seen Edward so happy before, it was like he was in some state of nirvana and all the differences between us no longer mattered to him. He was doing things more slowly and normally and more importantly, he was doing them himself. Not that the Cullens had much to attend to and worry about, but they had money, and had housekeepers and landscapers for when they needed work done. The property around their house was immense and always perfectly kept, but certainly you never saw Carlisle mowing a lawn or Jasper weed whacking a shrub. It was interesting to see Edward on his own, tending to a household, and the fact that he had decorated this house and designed it without hiring someone to do it was even more endearing. He was like a grown man, he would make a good husband someday, and if he were able to be, I believed that he would have been a good father too. We were sitting at the kitchen table, I was eating dinner and Edward was sitting across from me, reading, and every so often he would glance up at me from his book and smile shyly. I reached across the table and touched his outstretched hand; he curled his fingers around mine without looking up.

"Are you almost through eating?" He asked, breaking the silence

"Yes, why?"

He answered my question with another of his own, "has it gotten dark outside yet?"

I stood up from the table and peeked around the curtain into the backyard, "yes," I answered, slightly confused.

Within seconds he was standing behind me and had his hands on my hips, he leaned over and murmured into my ear, "go put a sweatshirt on."

The scent of him was intoxicating, "why?"

"Just do it." He said with a crooked smile, "I want you to see something."

I went to my closet and grabbed a brown zip up sweatshirt and quickly threw it on. When I got back to the kitchen, he was gone, I saw him standing on the deck outside.

"What's going on?" I asked, joining him.

"You'll see, it'll take a few minutes, so be patient."

He was staring out into the yard, a look of anticipation on his face.

"You seem very happy here." I said quietly

"I am very happy here, it feels…natural to me."

"I know, everything here seems so unspoiled and clean and wild." I agreed, apparently, I was becoming very happy here as well.

He furrowed his brow in confusion as if he didn't quite catch what I had just said, and then a look of enlightenment crossed his face. "Well, yes, you're absolutely on point with that statement, but I meant something different when I said it feels natural to me here."

I narrowed my eyes, studying him in a feeble attempt to read his mind, but he continued to elude me.

He chuckled softly as he watched my expression then went on to explain, "What I meant was, being here with you feels very natural to me. Living in my own home and doing everyday things feels natural to me. I've never felt so at ease in all my existence. I love my family, but, it feels good to be away from them. Away from Alice's predictions, and Rosalie's resentment, and Jasper's scrutiny, other vampires, all the peril that I've faced in the last few years seems like a memory."

"All the peril that we've faced." I added.

"Of course." He said putting his arms around my waist "and I'm trying to angst less about our relationship, you know, about the uniqueness of our situation."

"You shouldn't angst. Are you finding it difficult to live with me?"

"Not in so many words. There are times, when it is very difficult to be around you, but I've trained myself to busy my mind with something else or separate myself from you when those instances occur." He explained.

"When do those instances occur?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, every time you get out of the shower, the entire house is permeated with your scent, I didn't think anything could make it more appealing to me, but something about the steam…intensifies it and makes it practically irresistible. That's usually why I disappear for an hour or so when you're in there."

"Okay, anything else?"

"Nothing else in particular," he said uneasily, touching the back of his neck. I knew there was more, but I could tell it made him uncomfortable talking about it, so I didn't press the issue.

"Can I ask you something?" I said cautiously.

"Anything." He replied easily

"It seems like, lately you've been doing things more deliberately. At a slower pace I mean, because there have been many times in the past where, you, well, you move so quickly and noiselessly that I don't even see it until it's like, five minutes later. Have I just gotten used to it or are you moving a lot slower these days?"

His laugh rang out clear and musical, "oh, you've noticed that?"

I was mystified, I really had seen a change, "I guess I have. But why?"

"I suppose it could be an environmental explanation."

"English please."

"Okay, well, you know how when you're around someone or something long enough you start to pick up their habits?" I nodded, "It seems like all of their idiosyncrasies and mannerisms start to become yours as well. That is how I explain it, I've spent most of my life with my vampire family, everyone moving swiftly and quietly and using their gifts and I followed suit. Now, I'm living with you and I'm picking up your movements and habits and acting more like a human."

"But we've only been living together for a short while, how could I be rubbing off on you so quickly?"

"I'm a quick study." He smirked, "besides, I'm more apt to learn something more quickly if I'm interested in it. It's nice, I actually feel normal for once in my life." He said with a poignant undertone.

"So, you like doing laundry and dishes?" I asked flatly.

"It fascinates me." He remarked brightly his eyes lighting up.

"Unbelievable." I said exasperated.

"Bella," he started, looking away from me briefly, "it's probably something that you take for granted because you've been doing it your whole life, but for me, being normal and fitting in with someone I deeply love is very important to me. "

"Edward, I've never fit in with anyone before. If we went to school together for years and you weren't what you were, you'd always be the cool kid and I'd be the outcast."

He turned back to me and asked happily, "is that how you see me, as the cool kid?"

"Not really." I said casually, crossing my arms over my chest "you're more the eccentric suffer in silence guy who stays at home listening to Bach and cutting himself but who all the girls think is hot. You were and probably, and will always be the deepest seventeen year old that ever walked the halls of Forks high."

"Right," he said shaking his head, "and you were probably the intellectual Goth girl that was serious and brooding and too good for everyone at Phoenix High." He teased back.

"Well, yes that pretty much sums it up." I agreed, we both laughed. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.

"I suppose if we had children they'd be grim and tortured, write poetry in the dark and be terrible at sports." He said brushing a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I replied, peering up at him.

"I knew there was a reason we were together. We don't fit in with anyone else better than we do with each other." Edward sighed, I hugged him again and he rested his chin on my head.

"I'm going to marry you someday Edward Cullen." I whispered to myself as I buried my face in his hard shoulder, it was meant for only me to hear, but I'm sure he heard it as well; he was, after all, a v…very good listener.

I stood there for a moment, my back to the yard, when suddenly he said, "Bella, turn around and look."

His smooth voice had startled me, as I was busying myself with taking in the sweet scent that radiated off of him and intoxicating myself with it. I looked up with questioning on my face when I didn't see anything.

"No love, look over there." He turned my body so I faced the horizon, I stared out into the cool, late summer evening and gasped at what I saw; the northern lights.

The northern lights were a phenomenon that happened quite frequently in Alaska as well as in other parts of the world that were close to the poles or the equator. The concept still wasn't quite clear to me, but from what I'd heard, the northern lights or the aurora borealis occurred as a result of the atmospheric gases being affected by the location of the poles and equator. I had seen pictures before, but no magazine could compare with what I saw now. It looked like stars were falling from the sky all around us. The horizon was filled with hues of indigo and red; wisps of clouds had taken on an aqua tinge and spread in uneven layers amidst the vast velvety background.

It was breathtaking, it didn't seem like it could be a creation made by science, more like something created by a great and emotional artist of another era. It was anger and joy all swirled into one and the touch of silver light right at the bottom of the horizon was the hope of a new day. The stars reminded me of tears falling, depending on the state of mind one was in on this night; the tears could be happy or sad. For me, they were happy, I assumed they were happy for Edward too. He stood behind me with his granite arms curled tightly around my waist. I felt him rub his cheek against my ear and kiss me lightly on the temple. I let my head fall back and rest against him, each and every day, it was getting a lot easier to live in Alaska, and harder to remember my life that existed before him.


	12. Chapter 12 School Days

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 12**

**School Days**

The first thing I heard the day after Labor Day was not the harsh ring of my alarm clock in my ear, but rather my cell phone. I shot a look at the clock on the nightstand, five a.m., I looked to my left, no Edward, I looked back to my right and realized that my phone was still ringing. I scrambled my hand blindly around on the table, expecting the phone to go to voicemail at this point, but it just kept ringing.

"He,Hello?" I muttered hoarsely as I turned on the lamp

"Good morning sunshine!" Chirped a musical voice on the other end.

"Alice!" I hissed, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Of course I do silly."

"Here, do you know what time it is here, in Alaska?" I grumbled.

"I'm going to say five o'clock in the morning." She replied cheerfully, she was like some kind of insomniac with a caffeine problem.

"That's right, and do you know what time I was planning on getting up?"

"That's easy, six thirty."

"Correct. Why are you calling me now?" I grumbled.

"I just wanted to wish you a happy first day of school, college is so much fun."

"Well thank you, is that all?" I yawned

"No, there's more. I also wanted to let you know that you're going to have a visitor tonight." She giggled a little.

My body tensed as I sat upright in bed now, my hand clenched around my phone, what did that mean? "What kind of visitor?" I asked carefully, funny how quickly that had woke me up.

"Definitely not a human visitor." She riddled.

"Damn it Alice what does that mean? Are the Denali clan coming by or what? Should I be worried? Are we in danger?"

"Bella, if you were in any kind of danger you know I wouldn't be making such light of this, honestly." She sounded offended

"Sorry, but every time I've had a 'non human' visitor come around, my life has been in danger, I'm a little gun shy around immortals I don't know."

"I didn't say anything about your visitor being immortal." She teased. "Don't worry, it's no big deal. I really did call because I wanted to say hi."

"Fine, whatever." I mumbled, defeated, I let my body fall back hard against the pillows.

"So what's your first class this morning?" She inquired

"Edward and I have lit together and then I have chemistry and a few others this afternoon."

"Where is my brother anyways?" She asked

I looked over at his side of the bed and saw the indent his body had made in the comforter and pillow. "I'm not sure, hunting, reading somewhere, walking; he's not here right now. He does that, disappears sometimes, and then reappears as quickly as he left." I went on, silence on the other end of the phone as she listened to me.

"That's normal for him Bella, don't trouble yourself over it. He just, wanders sometimes, but he always comes back." I didn't think that it did worry me, but I felt a little relief when I heard her say that.

"Well, whatever he's doing, he's up awful ea…" I stopped midsentence, I thought I heard water running, the shower maybe?

"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice asked nervously.

"I think he's, I think he's taking a shower?" it came out more as a question then a statement.

Alice's silvery laugh tinkled on the end of the phone, "really?"

"Yeah, I think so." Maybe I could casually pose my curiosities to Alice, I gave it a try. "I was just wondering, do you guys, do that sort of thing?"

More tinkling laughter, "you guys meaning our kind right? Not like, me and my brother taking a shower together?"

"Of course Alice, God, gross."

"Just kidding, technically, we don't _have_ to shower, but some of us _like_ to."

"I don't know why I just felt the need to ask you that." I said stupidly

"Because it's five a.m."

"Right, I still have an hour and a half that could be spent asleep."

"OK, enjoy your nap, tell Edward I said hi, I'll call you tomorrow to see how your evening went." She giggled.

"Okay, just don't make it at five a.m. again, or ever again for that matter." I complained.

"Bye Bella!"

"Bye Alice." I hung up the phone and shut off the light and pulled the covers over my head. The alarm was still set on the table, so I left it alone. I could still hear the shower running and my imagination started running wild with images of the steam curling around him, his bronze hair, wet and spiky, and the sweet smell of him multiplied by a thousand. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, falling right back to sleep.

For the second time that morning I was woken up by a loud sound in my ear. This time it was the alarm, whining impatiently for me to start a new day. I slammed my hand over it in anger for waking me from the most perfect dream my mind could conjure up. The alarm became still. I lay there for a minute or two trying to wake up, finally I stretched and was able to pull myself out of the warm bed. I lumbered into the bathroom and peered in the mirror, ugh, I hated the first day of school.

I brushed my teeth and made my way to the walk in closet, what kind of image did I want to portray? Who was I kidding? I had no image, I was who I was I thought to myself sticking my chin out defiantly. I grabbed a clean pair of jeans, a periwinkle colored tank top and a long sleeved fitted brown shirt that I put on over the tank. I straightened my hair and pulled it into an intentionally messy half ponytail using a dozen bobby pins. I pulled some strands out of the improvisational up do and put on some mascara and a touch of eyeliner to make myself look less sleep deprived. Taking one last glance in the mirror, I sighed deeply and headed downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and found Edward standing over the stove adding salsa to some eggs that he was cooking. "Good morning," he chimed a little too brightly, using one hand to flip the little omelet he was making out of the frying pan into the air and onto a plate. Simultaneously the toaster clicked and two pieces of toast popped up. He had already set out juice and made coffee for me and they were sitting on the counter waiting.

"You're incredible." I said shaking my head and sitting down at the table.

He set the plate in front of me and said, "First day of school deserves a big breakfast, I'd join you, but I already ate." He smirked wickedly; his eyes glowed like pools of honey through his thick lashes. He sat down in front of me at the table and folded his hands. He wore a new pair of jeans with a button down shirt the color of a robin's egg with a brown t-shirt underneath. His usual black wrist cuff with the Cullen coat of arms was positioned around his perfectly muscled forearm and I was becoming increasingly distracted as I stared at it.

"Alice called this morning." I stated, trying to snap myself out of my trance.

"Really? I figured she would." He said nonchalantly, "what time did she call?"

"At five a.m." I said miserably

He chuckled softly, "you must have loved that, sleeping beauty."

"She could have picked a better time, but whatever. She said we were going to get a nonhuman visitor tonight."

"Denali?" He asked.

"No, definitely not, but she said it was nothing to worry about. She also told me to tell you she said hi, she'll call tomorrow." I went back to my breakfast, it was delicious, maybe Edward's culinary major wasn't such a bad idea after all. He'd have to test out his cooking on someone right?

We had college literature together first thing at eight thirty, so once I had finished eating we headed out together. We took Edward's familiar silver Volvo; I assumed that the Cadillac was going to be reserved for the days when we had lousy weather. We drove to school like we always had back in Forks, it almost seemed like déjà vu, but that feeling quickly passed when we arrived at the University of Anchorage. The campus was immense and intimidating. I wondered how many students before me had approached the campus center with the same fear and anxiety that I felt now. My stomach lurched at the sight of the front doors and I immediately regretted the huge breakfast I had just eaten. I looked over at Edward, and he was the picture of confidence. His features were so composed and clean he looked like a statue. I was a Jackson Pollock oil painting next to him, I was a mess of nerves and self doubt.

He squeezed my hand gently and we headed to first period, pulling me along for most of the way. We found the classroom we needed to be in and went in. It looked like most of the students had already arrived, maybe they were as nervous as I was, I hoped. The classroom was designed like a stadium, where each row of seats rose up behind each other and the front of the room was rounded. Miles of dry erase board with literary jargon written in black marker surrounded us and there was a podium at the head of the room. Edward spotted a couple of empty seats toward the middle of the room and he started to lead me that way. I could feel several pairs of eyes on us. Dare I look back? There were so many students in that one room my mind boggled, there had to have been at least fifty, which was huge to me, considering how small Forks was. I tried to look around at the faces that were studying us, they were mostly women, and they weren't staring at us, they were ogling Edward. I felt less self conscious. He continued to lead me to our seats, I knew he could feel everyone watching him and his mannerisms quickly changed. He went from being arrogantly confident, to shy and subdued. As he passed, you could see some of the women becoming breathless, one woman; a blond girl with a heart shaped face actually touched her throat and flushed when he passed. He gave her a polite nod and continued up the stairs. Another woman, that had an aisle seat blatantly stared at his butt as he climbed past her chair, and there was even one woman, an older woman who looked to be in her thirties, that sniffed the air as he finally took his seat a few chairs down from her, she gasped and flushed red.

I sat down next to him and I could still feel the eyes of some of his groupies for another minute or two.

"Is this normal?" I whispered to him.

"What's that love?" he asked leaning his side toward me.

I tugged on the sleeve of his shirt and moved my head casually in the direction of the gawking women. There were about five now. He followed my gaze and lowered his eyes when he realized what I meant. A cautious smile played across his lips as he touched the tip of his tongue to the side edge of his teeth.

"Yes, I suppose it is." He muttered, slightly embarrassed.

I raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "Don't worry, in a couple of days, the novelty will wear off. Maybe even sooner than that when they see that I'm taken." He said with the crooked smile that he knew I loved.

"Well, I shouldn't judge, I felt the same way the first time I saw you too."

"And then the novelty wore off?" He asked, his voice rising slightly.

"No, that hasn't happened yet." I smirked at him as the teacher entered the room and started class.

He looked away shyly, and then said, "it seems like you have yourself a fan as well over there." He gestured to a seat near a window that had a young man that looked about twenty sitting in it. He was very clean cut with gelled dirty blond hair and glasses. His jaw was square and strong and he was very handsome and Edward was right, he was staring in my direction.

"He's gay." I said firmly.

"What?" Edward asked in disbelief

"He's gay, and he's definitely staring at you too."

"Oh come on Bella, that's ridiculous." He said dismissively.

"Fine, why don't you just check out what's on his mind and find out for yourself." I waited a second and watched Edward, he looked like he was listening very closely to something, and then suddenly a look of horror crossed his face.

"You were right, and I'm going to have to spend the rest of the day just trying to get that disturbing image out of my head." He hissed, I started to giggle and he looked irritated. Who would have thought that Edward was a homophobe?

"Excuse me," a sharp voice suddenly said out loud toward our direction, Edward suddenly sat rigidly at attention "you two in the middle row, your names please."

"My name is Edward Cullen, professor, and this is Isabella Swan." He purred as he gestured toward me. I gave the teacher a weak wave.

"Well, Mr. Cullen and Miss Swan, your conversation will have to wait until after lecture." She said curtly.

"Certainly Professor," he said in his most pleasing and persuasive tone, "I do apologize." He gave the professor a meaningful glance and it seemed to melt away some of the frostiness to her voice.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen." She said a little more softly. He gave her a polite nod and kept his word and did nothing to further disturb her lecture.

Class finally ended, but the nonstop gawking at Edward did not, I was starting to get irritated, wasn't it fairly obvious that we were together? He only spent the entire class looking at me and touching my hand, didn't that stand for anything in the merry old land of Alaska? I got myself so worked up I practically was making my hands into fists as we walked down the stairs away from our seats toward the door. I wanted to kill each and every one of those silly girls, though I can't say that I don't blame them, but still, ugh! Edward looked as if he sensed my tension, I saw a smile starting to work its' way at the corners of his mouth as I listened to two particularly annoying girls walking behind us whispering. I was seriously going to inflict some pain in a minute. We finally made it to the door, when Edward, who had been holding my hand, spun me around and pushed me gently into the door. Right in the doorway he planted his lips hard against mine and took my hands, wrapping them around his neck for me, I kissed him back and tugged at his hair a little, after a moment he pulled back from me slightly and stared into my eyes excitedly, he tilted my chin gently and said, "I'll meet you at the student center at three, and we'll head home. You can drive." He smiled.

"I love you." I whispered, about to burst into hysterics.

"Don't forget, it's my night to cook." He added loudly enough for the girls to hear him, he kissed me on the lips once more and looked to the left, the whispering girls were standing there waiting, he had completely blocked their way out of class. He smiled politely and said, "Excuse me." He turned and walked out of the room holding my hand as he went and winked at me and sauntered away.

The girls glared at me in disgust, I was still coming off my high, but managed to say in a very serious tone, "Sorry about that." I gave them a nasty grin and walked out of the room, they still stood mouths agape, in the doorway. I think they got the hint.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, I met a couple of freshman from out of state just as lost and terrified as I was and we kind of tried to stick together. One girl named Danielle was from Massachusetts and I liked her a lot. She was a tall girl with big brown eyes that she had darkly outlined in black mascara. She had long pretty painted nails that she looked like she did herself, and was very sarcastic. She seemed like a very kind and thoughtful person, but her sense of humor was as sharp as a point on a knife, I knew that we were going to get along famously some day. The other two girls were pretty nice too; one girl named Dorie was Indian and from San Francisco and the other girl, Martina, was from Virginia, again, seemed very nice but struck me as someone I had to watch carefully. We sat together at lunch and made small talk, Danielle seemed to be the most comfortable around all of us and Martina was very quiet. Danielle was a communications major, but we still had a lot of classes together. Dorie was working up to be a lawyer that represented abused and neglected children and Martina was a psychology major, which to me meant, she didn't know what she wanted to do. Renee used to say to me that everyone is a psychology major their first year of college, I was starting to see what she meant.

"So are you living in the dorms or off campus?" Danielle asked me.

"Oh, my boyfriend and I are living in a house off campus." I explained taking a sip of my coffee.

"Speaking of boyfriends," Dorie started, "I was in my computers class when these two girls walked in all pissed off, they sat down and started talking to one of their other friends. Apparently, there was this gorgeous guy in their lit class that they were drooling over and he kissed his girlfriend right in front of them. They were pissed off about that! Can you imagine the nerve? I hope everyone here isn't that petty."

I almost choked on my beverage as I listened in horror to Dorie's story, then I almost choked again when Martina joined in.

"Oh, yeah, I heard about that too. His name's Edward I think, he's from out of state. I hear he's very good looking, like supermodel good looking. I think he's a culinary major."

I started to shrink down into my seat silently as my cheeks started to turn purple. Danielle noticed right away. "Bella, what's the matter, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said clearing my throat, "So do you guys want to meet up again tomorrow?" I asked looking at my watch, almost three.

"Absolutely" Dorie chirped

"Sure, I'm game." Danielle agreed

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Martina said quietly

"Ok, well I have to get going, my ride will be here any second, and I don't want to make him wait." I was hoping to get out of the student center before Edward arrived to avoid any more talk about how beautiful my boyfriend was. Not that I was ashamed or anything, I just was terrified about being part of the center of everyone's fixation. They'd find out soon enough anyways, I wanted to wait until the hype died down. I couldn't believe that word of Edward's flawless self had spread all over campus in a day. I started to get up from my chair and head out.

"Okay Bella, we'll see you later!" Dorie said cheerfully

"Okay, bye guys!" I stood from my chair and turned to walk away quickly when a 6 foot whatever sized boulder stopped me in my tracks. I was face to face with Edward's marble chest. I looked up slowly and saw him smiling warmly down at me.

"Ready to go love?"

"Sure." I sighed.

"Excellent." He said energetically, kissing my forehead. I smiled and turned to see my three new companions staring at me wide eyed. Danielle smiled suggestively.

"Um, Edward, these are some of my classmates from out of state." I announced, he turned and faced them and smiled politely. "This is Danielle, Martina and Dorie. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you." He said quietly, shy boy charm dripping off of him.

"Hi Edward," Danielle said, "we've already heard quite a bit about you, but no thanks to Bella." She frowned at me jokingly.

"Okay, we really need to get home; we have to...let the dogs out." I said lying through my teeth.

"Nice to meet you Edward," Dorie joined in on the teasing, "see you tomorrow Bella!"

"Bye guys!" I started to drag Edward away, finally he followed me, nodding at the girls as he left.

"What was that all about?" he asked me as he hopped into the driver side of his Volvo.

"I thought you said I could drive." I said, trying to change the subject

"I did," he said throwing his bag into the back seat, "But I drive faster, and you know, we have to get home quickly so we can let all those dogs out." He teased. I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned at him.

"Are you aware, Edward Cullen, that the entire student body at the University of Anchorage is buzzing about you? At least, the entire female population is anyway."

"And don't forget a small fraction of the gay community as well." He added coyly with a smirk. I glared at him. "Oh come on Bella, this will blow over in a day or so. Trust me."

"Do you enjoy this?"

"Not really. It's entertaining for an hour or so, but the only reason that this is happening is because of what I am. Drawing people in is just evidence that I can be very good at what I am designed for; killing. It's actually very disturbing to me."

"It must be a great way to die though." I said mindlessly.

His smile immediately disappeared and a look of fury crossed his face, "Don't ever say that. Don't even think it." he growled angrily. "There's nothing 'great' about being murdered."

"Sorry." I said humbly. We drove the rest of the way in silence.


	13. Chapter 13 Topaz

**I do not own Twilight or its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 13**

**Topaz**

The brief moment of tension we had in the car passed quickly, as it usually did, and everything was normal again. Edward and I sat in the den across from one another at the two drafting tables. He was typing rapidly on a lap top computer and I was manically highlighting important segments of a piece we had to read for literature class. We had a paper due in two weeks and Edward had just finished typing it. He finally stopped, leaned back in his seat and stretched.

"So, it's my night to cook, what would you like for dinner?" he asked resting his large hands behind his head easily.

I put my highlighter down and let out a deep sigh, waiting for my eyes to readjust. "It doesn't matter to me, I'm easy. What did you learn in your classes today?" I asked, becoming interested.

"Not a whole lot just yet. It's still the first week, so they haven't gotten in all of their supplies and the kitchen isn't quite ready yet, they just remodeled it. It was mostly terminology today."

"I think it's really cool that you've chosen this as your major. It sounds like it could be really fun and interesting. I don't think I've had a chance to tell you that." I said thoughtfully, sounding more like a parent than I intended to.

"Thank you Bella, that's nice to hear. Everyone else seems to think it's trivial." He replied.

"Well, all you have at this point is time, might as well keep learning different things." I said offhandedly, "I wish I could learn as much as you can."

"You can still switch majors. Why don't you join me?"

"Uh-uh, me around knives and fire, that could be hazardous to everyone's health." I joked sadly.

"It doesn't matter, you can do it, you do it all the time around here as it is. Maybe we could open up a restaurant together."

"I don't feel like that's what I'm destined to be." I said quietly

"Just because Alice suggested that you were going to go into social work, it doesn't mean you have to. You can decide what you want to be, no one can take that away from you." He said, looking at me intensely.

"I know, we'll see what happens." I started, and then I remembered Alice, "oh, I forget, we're supposed to get a visitor tonight. I wonder what that means." I said changing the subject.

"Coming from Alice, it could mean anything." Edward said rolling his eyes; he didn't press the 'future' discussion any further. "I suppose I should get dinner started then, if we're going to have a 'guest' later." He stood up and touched my shoulder gently as he walked out of the room.

I sat at the big wooden table for another minute or two, staring at my work, zoning out. He was right after all; I could choose to be whatever I wanted to be but deep in my heart I had already made the choice. I wanted to be what he was and be with him forever. The thought of getting to a point where I would have to choose a career and get a job like everyone else in the world did not appeal to me as it once had. I let out a deep aggravated sigh and got up to help Edward.

Even though Alice had made light of our mysterious alleged visitor, I could tell from his expression and mannerisms that Edward was remaining vigilant. He looked agitated, but was trying to keep it hidden from me. When it had reached nine o'clock and nothing had happened I was starting to get a little nervous. I decided that I would stay up until ten and then get ready for bed.

The clock struck ten and still, no visitor, I was becoming anxious, but kept my promise to myself and headed up to bed. I went through the regular evening routine with the shower and the reading and the teeth brushing. I was getting ready to shut the light off at eleven, Edward had remained downstairs watching something on the discovery channel, and I figured I probably wouldn't see him for awhile. I was just about ready to fall asleep when I heard an unfamiliar sound. The wind had picked up a little and was causing the trees outside the bedroom to creak and sway, it sounded like it was going to rain, but underneath all of that, I knew I wasn't mistaken when I heard the sound of something scratching the window. _Maybe it's just the tree branches rubbing the glass, _I thought to myself. I listened more closely, the scratching sound was too even and deliberate to be a rogue branch, this sound was being created by something with claws or fingernails. I started to feel the pit of my stomach churn at the horror that _something _was trying to get into the house. Something nonhuman, as Alice had put it. Rain had started falling outside; the scratching sound seemed to be getting more frantic now. Then I heard a loud thud outside of the window and a snapping sound, whatever was out there had just fallen out of a tree. My stomach started to unknot slightly as I calmed down. Nothing that I could think of, that was not human, that could hurt me, would have just fallen out of a tree. I smirked and crawled out of bed and headed downstairs courageously.

The rain was pouring now, I could hear it slapping against all sides of the house, I got to the living room and Edward was still sitting on the couch, with his feet up on the coffee table watching TV. He turned and looked in my direction once I had entered the living room.

"What is it love?" He asked, slightly concerned

"I think our visitor is here." I answered calmly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't tell me _you_ of all people didn't hear that?"

"Hear what?" He asked, confused.

"The giant thing that just fell out of the tree near our bedroom window."

"Oh that," he said dismissively, "yes, I heard that. It's probably just an animal of some kind."

"Right, a nonhuman visitor that can be taken lightly. I'm going outside to check." I said firmly. I headed toward the closet to grab my boots.

"Bella, it's pouring rain outside and the lighting is awful, you don't need to go out there." He said his voice rising a little

"I have a feeling that I do," I said continuing to put my boots on.

"Bella, come on, really, it could be some kind of wild animal, you have no way of knowing what's out there. We are in the woods of Alaska; it could be a bear for all you know."

"It's not a bear." I said rolling my eyes and putting my coat on.

"How do you know that?"

"Fine, if you're so worried then come out with me, if it is a bear you can use your Jedi mind trick and fight him off or you could have a snack." I said mocking him a little.

He sighed deeply, getting up from the couch, "very funny," he muttered as he grabbed up his shoes and his coat, "let's go." He said leading the way to the front door.

"Wait, should I bring a flashlight?" I asked in a very serious tone.

He stared at me in disbelief for a minute, "Vampire, can see in the dark, remember?" he said sarcastically as he pointed at himself.

"Right, lead the way Vladimir."

"You know, you're just absolutely hysterical tonight." He declared, annoyed.

We went out into the rain that was now coming down sideways. Edward had turned on the outside floodlight on the way out, he started over to the side of the house where the bedroom was, when suddenly he stopped and looked in the direction of a Ewe shrub to his left. I followed close behind him and I saw it now too, the bush was rustling and moving slightly.

Edward extended a long arm behind him "stay behind me," he commanded without an ounce of sarcasm in his voice, I immediately stopped.

The bush rustled a little bit more and he crouched down and moved slowly toward it. He parted the branches a little bit, and the tension coming from him eased.

"It's just a cat." He said quietly, he dropped his arm down and I crept over beside him. It was difficult to see clearly in the dark, but as I peered through the branches, I could see that it wasn't just any cat. It was a kitten, it looked like it was no more than a month or two old.

"Can you grab it?" I whispered, hoping that he could put his supernatural reflexes to good use.

"What?! Are you crazy?" He hissed at me in disbelief.

"Edward, look at it, we can't just leave it here in the rain. It's just a baby, it'll die." I coaxed.

The kitten was drenched and shaking, it looked like it was paralyzed with fear, and it appeared to have a wound on its' head, from falling out of the tree I supposed. I had never tried to play up to Edward's weaknesses before, but tonight I would. I gave him the saddest, most wounded look I could muster. He glared at me, rain dripping through his hair and down his face, finally he rolled his eyes and within less than a second reached into the bush and pulled the kitten out by the scruff of its' neck. It looked like he hadn't even moved, as he dropped the kitten in my lap and I quickly wrapped it in my jacket.

"Can we go inside now?" He complained.

"Thank you." I said smiling at him he just shook his head at me and headed back to the house. I thought I heard him mutter to himself, "going to be the death of me."

We entered the warmly lit living room and took off our wet things, I was very careful to the cradle the kitten gently as Edward helped me take off my jacket, he left the room and was back in an instant with a towel.

"Wrap it in this." He said calmly, handing me the towel.

I did so very cautiously, unsure how the animal would react now that he was in a better lit place. The kitten's wild eyes started to dart around the room as if he were about to bolt, I didn't think I'd be able to hold him. "Help me," I said, my voice becoming slightly alarmed, I could feel the kitten's clawed feet pushing against me as it prepared to escape.

Edward was quickly at my side again, scruffing the kitten gently. A trancelike look of calm crossed over the baby's twisted face. I wrapped the towel around it tightly, so that only its' head could be seen and Edward let the scruff go.

"Be careful that it doesn't bite you." He warned, "You don't know where it's been."

"Why do you keep holding it like that?" I asked, referring to his crass scruffing technique.

"It's the best way to control them and sometimes it actually soothes them a little, because it's how their mother would carry them." He explained.

"How do you know that?" I asked, astounded

"Animal planet." He said simply, walking over to the couch and sitting down and crossing his leg over the top of his knee.

I held the kitten tensely in my arms and looked at its' features. It had dark orange stripes all about its' face with lighter shades of blond circling its' eyes, like a reverse raccoon face. There was a small gash over its right eye that was crusted with dried blood. It had either been attacked or injured itself. Its' whiskers were long and wild and it had a pink nose the color of an eraser. I had to admit, it was pretty cute, and I really wasn't a cat person. It growled a high pitched frightened sound and started to stir in the towel. I quickly tried to calm it down by talking lowly and rocking it, like it was a real baby. It looked up at and stared into my eyes, I thought that it was going to pop up out of the towel and maul my face as it growled again, this time a little more fiercely. "Now, now," I cooed nervously, "it's alright, you're safe now…"

"That's debatable." Edward snorted off in the corner. I frowned in his direction.

"Don't listen to him," I whispered to the kitten, "It's alright, no one's going to hurt you, shh shh shh." And then, the kitten was quiet, it just stared up at me with huge amber eyes that reminded me of Edward's, I gasped at the resemblance. The kitten suddenly freed a front paw from the towel that bound him and I thought for sure I was going to get a swipe to the face. I held my breath and waited for the impact, but it never happened, instead the kitten just placed the free paw on the side of my face gently and purred and then it fell asleep, as if it were finally able to be peaceful.

My heart melted and I slowly crept over to the couch and sat beside Edward, he moved away from me looking quite alarmed.

"What are you doing?" He asked anxiously

"Sitting next to you on the couch." I said, confused

"With, that?" He nodded his head toward the kitten, Edward looked frightened.

"Oh come on, you've got to be kidding me, are you afraid of cats?" I asked on the verge of laughter.

"Of course not." He grumbled, "I just, animals really aren't a huge fan of me Bella." He said in a serious tone. "They're usually frightened of me. It's just a baby, it's probably had a hard enough night as it is and now you're putting it near a predator? You're going to stop its' heart."

"Are you going to eat him?"

"No, I'm not going to eat him." He said, insulted.

"Are you sure? Not even tempted just a little?" I asked, the kitten had now opened its' pretty eyes and was listening to us talk.

"I'm quite sure that I'm not going to eat a kitten." He said, scowling.

"Good, then there's no reason for him to be frightened of you. Here, hold him." I said handing the kitten to Edward, he backed away as if I were handing him a test tube full of plutonium.

"That's not a good idea Bella."

"Sure it is, stop being a baby and hold the stupid kitten. He's going to think you don't like him." I thrust the baby into Edward's arms, the only reason he held on to it now was so he wouldn't drop it. The kitten stared up inquisitively at Edward.

"So it's a 'he' now?" he asked looking down at the kitten.

"Well, studies show that 99.9% of all striped orange cats are male, so I'm just assuming." I explained

"Where did you hear that?" he asked, now staring very intently on the bundle in his arms.

"Animal planet." He glanced up at me and I smiled. "Can we keep him?" I asked.

Edward's expression changed quickly, becoming very stern, "No, absolutely not! We can keep him for a couple of days, until he heals and we can get him stronger and to a shelter, we are not getting a pet."

"Why not?" I whined.

"Bella, it's not good for him…" he started, "for it. I'm telling you that once it is more aware of everything, it is going to be terrified of me, stressed out all the time, that's no way to live. He needs a good home."

"You don't know that's going to happen." I said with a half grin.

"Yes, I do." He looked down at the kitten again, he was asleep again. "That's not humane to have to live in fear like that."

"I'm going to name him Topaz." I said taking the kitten from him.

"No, don't name it, we're not keeping it."

"We are until he heals up, you said it yourself, so he needs a name, we can't just call him 'It' all the time. He'll adjust better to a home if he has a name."

Edward sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, "Fine, you win, Topaz it is, until his new owner decides to rename him, that's what _we'll_ call him."

"I love you." I said sweetly.

"I'll go look for something to make a bed for him." He said defeated, as he walked out of the room glumly. I smiled to myself, and Topaz began to purr contented sighs in my arms as he fell asleep again.

Topaz adjusted quickly to his new surroundings, he had been living with us for about four days and was already climbing on the furniture and trying to sleep in the bed with me. Edward insisted upon keeping the bedroom door shut at night to keep him out, so I agreed, even though Topaz didn't seem to be the slightest bit nervous around Edward, as he had expected. Nonetheless, whenever the cat came around, Edward would keep his distance, still fearful that his 'unearthly' presence would frighten him.

The wound on Topaz's head started to heal well and he began to eat on his own without difficulty. There was one point on that first night where we thought he had a seizure, but that was an isolated incident. By the end of a week, Topaz was completely healed and fairly independent, but still very affectionate. He spent a lot of time watching us. He would perch on top of something like some kind of gargoyle and stare at us with curiosity, more at Edward then at me. It was almost as if the cat were studying us, like we were just as entertaining to him as he was to us.

"Bella, we have to have a discussion about this cat." Edward said in a very parental tone one night while I was eating dinner.

"What about him?" I asked innocently. I turned and saw that Topaz was sitting on the floor between us throwing glances back and forth at both of us.

"Well, it's been over a week and he seems pretty well healed up. Don't you think we should consider finding him a home?"

"He already has one." I said firmly.

"No, he doesn't. I told you we can't keep him." He replied in a firmer tone.

"I don't understand your reasoning behind this. He's not afraid of you, and I'm the one who feeds him and cleans up after him, you just have to exist with him and enjoy him."

"How can you say that he's not afraid of me? The thing never comes near me."

"You never let him."

"I can't believe we're even having this discussion." Edward said, incredulous, "Don't I even have a say in this?"

"Call him." I said putting my fork down.

"What?"

"Call him to you, and then you'll know for sure if he's afraid of you. If he is, we can bring him to a shelter, with my blessing, but if he comes to you, and stays, we keep him."

"Bella, that's ridiculous." He said getting up from the table. The cat watched him intently without budging from his seat on the floor by the table.

"Just try." I coaxed

Edward waited a minute and then sighed, "Fine, I'll do it just to prove to you that I'm right." He squatted down on the ground, neatly folding his long legs beneath him. "Come here," he said nervously to the cat. Topaz didn't move or acknowledge him; he just continued to watch in silence.

"Call him by his name." I said tucking my legs under me in the kitchen chair to watch the spectacle happening before me.

Edward gave me an annoyed look and looked back down at the cat who was still just calmly observing him. "Topaz," he said more softly, "Topaz, come here." The cat tilted his head to the side a little, interested. "Come here" Edward said making his voice a little higher, he tapped his hand softly on the floor and clicked at him a little. The cat didn't move. Edward looked a little disappointed, but not surprised, he looked back up at me and said, "I knew he wouldn't come to me."

I didn't know what to say, I had made a promise, we had to give up the cat. I was about to say something when suddenly, the little orange cat slowly got up and marched over to Edward.

"Edward look," I whispered, he turned away from me and looked down, Topaz was rubbing his face against Edward's still outstretched hand.

He stared down at the kitten and a smile started to play across his face. Topaz moved closer, all two of his pounds dwarfed against Edward's massive crouching frame.

They stared at each other for a moment and then Edward picked up the tiny animal and held him inches away from his pale face, studying him. "You are very brave." He said softly, "a kitten that thinks it's a tiger. Reminds of someone else I know," He said looking over at me and smirking. Topaz lifted a paw and rested it against Edward's forehead and mewed. He gently replaced the kitten on the floor and Topaz flung himself against Edward's leg, rubbing his scent all over him and purring. He responded by scratching him roughly on the head. "A deal's a deal. I guess we have to keep him now."


	14. Chapter 14 Denali

_**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**_

_**BPOV**_

**Chapter 14**

**Denali **

It was nearing October; we had been in Alaska for close to two months, it was time to visit Edward's 'cousins' in Denali. Tanya called him nearly once a week trying to get us to visit, and finally the day had come when he'd accepted the invitation.

I stared into the mirror fixing and refixing my hair nervously. "Everything is going to be fine." I felt like he said that to me a lot. I wondered how it must feel to be so confident and unruffled all the time.

"I know, but what if they don't like me?"

"Who cares if they don't like you?" He asked shrugging his shoulders.

I turned away from the mirror and shot him a glance that must have resembled a deer caught in someone's headlights. "Of course they are going to love you just as much as Carlisle and Esme and everyone else do. You are part of our family and besides, if they don't like you, I'll simply just have to destroy them." He playfully growled.

"Do I look okay?" I asked standing back and gesturing at my dark washed jeans and my blue cowl neck sweater.

"You look stunning, as always." He said very seriously, examining my outfit, his gold eyes lingering at my hips a little too long. I rolled my eyes at him.

The drive to Denali took about an hour, we arrived promptly at seven, and I wondered what we would do that night. It wasn't as if we were meeting them for dinner or cocktails, I wondered how we would pass the time, small talk could only be shared for so long. The weather had begun to get very cold recently, now that we were entering mid autumn, but it was very mild tonight, it was almost too warm for the sweater I was wearing. The northern lights were shining radiantly overhead, tonight they had an eerie green and yellow hue to them, it was very windy, and there was a light mist in the air. I felt like it was a very 'halloweeny' atmosphere and the fact that we were about to enter the home of a large vampire coven just added to the effect. My nerves kicked in again as Edward opened my door for me and helped me out of the car, I wrapped my arm around the crook of his, feeling the soft texture of his black leather jacket under my fingertips. I leaned my head against his shoulder and inhaled deeply, taking in as much as I could of the smell of the leather and his sweet scent, immediately feeling euphoric. He was like a drug to me.

All too quickly we reached the front door of the giant house, a log cabin style décor similar to ours. The door opened silently before he could knock and Tanya stood before us grinning widely.

"Good evening Edward, Bella! Please come in, I'm so glad you could come."

"Hello Tanya." He said warmly, pulling me behind him as he eagerly entered the house.

We entered a huge foyer with wide pine floors and white walls; Edward took off my coat and his and disappeared into a large closet. I had forgotten that he used to live here before he moved to Forks.

While he busied himself doing that, Tanya took control, "Bella, come in to the living room and meet the rest of the family." She placed her hand on the small of my back and gently guided me through the foyer into an even larger room.

The living room was very similar to ours, in that it contained a large fieldstone fireplace, and had heavy wooden beams swooping in all directions across the ceiling, a large sectional sofa and flat screen TV. Then I noticed something in the corner that we didn't have; a mahogany, regulation sized billiards table, my eyes must have lit up because, I heard Tanya give a musical little laugh and say to me, "do you play?"

"Oh," I flushed with embarrassment, "yeah, I play a little."

"Excellent, a little competition would be nice." She grinned mischievously.

Edward suddenly appeared at my side, "What are we competing over?"

"Didn't you know? Bella is a pool shark." Tanya said slightly condescendingly.

"Really?" Edward said turning to me, a little amused, "I was not aware of that. It doesn't surprise me though; I learn something new about her every day. It'll take me an eternity to completely figure her out."

"The journey's half the fun Edward." Tanya said in a suggestive tone, as she hopped up onto the pool table and crossed her legs.

"What can I say? I'm an enigma." I said dryly.

"You certainly are." He gave me a smoldering look, and for a moment, I felt like we were the only two in the room.

"I should let the others know you're both here, they'll be so happy to see you Edward, and they can't wait to meet Bella." Tanya slinked down off the table and sauntered into one of the other rooms. Within moments, she had returned with three others.

The first to approach was an equally tall and beautiful blond version of Tanya, her hair was straight and platinum and shone brilliantly under the overhead light. It fell down her back, touching either side of her waist; her butterscotch eyes twinkled as her full, pouty lips formed a large, genuine smile. She looked like a Swedish stewardess, I half expected to hear an accent when she spoke, but when she did, all I could hear was music, "Hello, I'm Kate, Tanya's sister." She reached out her hand to touch mine, it took me a minute to focus, and then I carefully shook it, admiring her beautiful, glassy fingernails.

"Nice to meet you Kate, I'm Bella."

She smiled a crooked smile, similar to Edward's and I immediately felt at ease, but I couldn't stop staring at her, she almost drew me in more than Edward had that first time I saw him, almost. Could it be possible that female vampires were deadlier than their male counterparts?

Two others approached me now, a male and a female, Carmen and Eleazar, I found out. I think Carmen and Eleazar were Italian; they both had black wavy hair and olive colored skin and a slight accent. Eleazar was very handsome and classic looking, but he seemed much older than Edward and possibly Carlisle, he looked like he may have been in his thirties when he was changed. Carmen was very natural looking, the features of Tanya and her sister looked almost mythical and played up like they weren't of this earth, but Carmen just looked like a beautiful person. The type of woman who never needed makeup and always had beautiful complexion, she had life to her; she was the most human looking vampire I had ever seen.

"Eleazar, Carmen, this is Bella." Edward said with adoration. Breaking the silence that I knew I was causing with all of my thoughts and examination of the three creatures before me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." I said quickly, shaking their hands warmly. "I just, you're all so different looking from one another, I just was taking it all in." I couldn't believe I was being so forward with a bunch of people I didn't even know. "And, now I'm sorry because I just said that." I babbled on, I wished I could shut up.

Kate laughed warmly, "it's okay Bella, we should be the ones apologizing for staring at you."

"Oh." I said, I felt my cheeks flush "I didn't realize you were…" I ran my hands nervously through my hair, letting it fall into my face a little bit.

"Oh, no, please don't be uncomfortable! We didn't mean anything by it, you see, early on in your relationship, actually even before that, Edward stayed with us for awhile to figure things out, as I'm sure you know, and the way he described you was just, so…poetic. We thought he may have been exaggerating a bit, but seeing you now, it's very clear that he wasn't." Kate said, smiling in wonderment, "your appearance absolutely matches the description of the way he sees you, you're, you're just beautiful."

I could feel my cheeks turning purple I didn't know what else to say but 'thank you'. I turned to Edward he was just blissfully looking down at me. "What exactly did you tell them?" I asked urgently.

"The truth." He paused and moved the hairs I had so strategically put in front of my face back and tucked them behind my ear. "I told you that you don't see yourself very clearly." I was dumbfounded.

Once the awkwardness had passed finally, we could get on with our evening. Edward's cousins were actually a lot of fun. Outside of Eleazar, everyone seemed fairly close to our age and even so, it really didn't matter. Apparently, the cousins were very much into games and competitions. We played pool for a couple of hours, just casually talking and joking around. For a human playing against a bunch of vampires that all had superior hand eye coordination, I faired pretty well. I even beat Carmen once, but she claimed that this really wasn't her game, that her bocce ball skills were far superior over her billiards skills.

We were seated on the leather sectional after playing what seemed like a hundred games of pool just chatting. Edward had his arm lazily draped over my shoulder, completely relaxed and I was making small circles with my fingers over his thigh. Tanya was just watching with her legs tucked under her, resting her head on her hand Kate was lying back with her head resting on Tanya's hip, Carmen and Eleazar were still playing pool. I was looking over at Kate, still completely mesmerized over her. I was amused to see that all of us were dressed in jeans and sweaters and button down shirts, and Kate, the fairest of us all, was in a pair of Victoria Secret Pink brand sweatpants with Ugg boots and a thermal shirt. She looked like she should be a model for college dorm life. She looked very unpresumptuous and tomboyish, I liked Kate a lot. Tanya looked like she was angry that she wasn't a model and that she wasn't the one Edward had his arm around. The funny thing is, even though my instinct told me that she was still sore over him, it also told me that she wouldn't ever try to come between us and that if we ever needed her, she'd be there. It made me sad for her.

"So, I went on a date the other night…sucked." Tanya said glumly

"With who?" Edward asked

"Oh, some nomad vampire that Eleazar knows. He was a total jerk. You vampire men can be so pompous sometimes." She said bitterly in Edward's direction.

"And…" Kate added, "Angsty. Like we don't have the same problems you have."

"Hey!" Edward said putting up his hands, "_you_ invited _me_ here remember? I didn't come here for a battle of the sexes that I am clearly outnumbered in."

"You know what else they are?" I chimed in.

The two sisters looked up at me with a smirk, waiting expectantly, "Moody." I said grinning at him.

The sisters started giggling, "Really?" Edward said with his playful growling voice.

"Really." I said nodding, grin still intact.

He pushed me over onto my back on the couch and hit me with a pillow, he crawled over me so he was sitting on me, "And you know what you human women are like?" he teased, the sisters started laughing, I giggled as he tickled me.

"No!" I choked out between laughs

"You're bossy, and you're clumsy, and a tease." He laughed, continuing to tickle me.

"Ok! Ok!" I surrendered, he didn't let up until Tanya whipped a pillow at him.

He crawled off of me and pulled me into his lap and kissed the top of my head.

"Maybe that's what I need to do," Tanya said, "date a human. You two seem to have gotten it right."

Edward's smile faded and his expression became more serious. "It's taken a lot of dangerous and stupid mistakes on my part to get to this point and we have our limitations."

"But you don't seem the slightest bit bothered by her scent. Sorry Bella," Tanya said. I shrugged her off.

"And she doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered by you, or any of us for that matter." Kate added

"Bella's a very special person. And her scent does get to me, a lot. I've come close to killing her at least six times." I nodded in agreement. The sisters started to laugh, until they realized he wasn't joking. "Bella is not afraid of me because she knows me, she knows that I could never harm her and she also knows that if anyone, including anyone in my family tried to harm her I would destroy them without thinking twice about it." The sisters became very quiet at the grave sound of his voice.

"But what about…and stop me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here…" Kate stopped and stared at Edward for a moment, he smirked a little. He had read her thoughts.

"What did she ask?" I asked him.

He leaned over and whispered to me "She wants to know about our physical relationship."

"ohhh." I said, Kate looked embarrassed, like she wanted to take it back, before she could say anything I said, "It's limited at best."

"Bella has a hard time with that." He said softly.

"Well my God Edward surely you can see why." Tanya exclaimed. "This poor girl, she's got this gorgeous person in her life who puts her on a pedestal, has all this mystique and sensuality surrounding him, she's eighteen, in college, living with him alone in a house he _built _for her… I'm sure you touch her all the time, look at you now, you haven't taken your eyes off her all night, she adores you back and you're _denying _her? You see why I need to find me a human? Angsty." She stuck her tongue out at him. "That's just awful."

"He's just trying to be safe." I said quietly, coming to his defense

"Yes, don't you think that's a little careless, Tanya?" Edward asked acidly. "Seducing some poor hormonal guy and splitting him in half with your insatiable sex drive?"

"Zing!" Kate shouted.

"I can control myself, Edward." Tanya said flatly.

"Well, then the guy's screwed anyways if you're holding out on him." Edward replied. I could see why the two of them could never even consider being in a relationship.

"Whether I'm giving one hundred percent or fifty percent, I've never had any complaints. What about you Edward? Oh wait, that's right, you're waiting until you get married." Tanya said defensively.

I watched the expression on Edward's face, furious, but as always, endlessly composed. My eyes darted to Tanya, she was sitting up now, her stance was rigid and she glared at him. I started to get concerned, Kate could tell and said, "Don't worry Bella; they do this all the time."

Edward chose his words very carefully, very diplomatically and stated calmly to Tanya, "it amazes me that after a short eighteen years of living, Bella understands what's important in life, and after one hundred years of living, still, you do not. Speaking of which, I need to talk to Eleazar about something." He lifted me off his lap and soundlessly left the couch and headed toward the den where Eleazar was.

Tanya looked burned and sad; she sat back on the couch and pouted. Kate looked at me with a smirk and said, "Edward always gets the last word."

"Trust me," I said, smiling as I stood up, "I know this." I gave her a little wave and followed him to the den.

Eleazar sat in a leather club chair in the den, writing something in a notebook, when we entered. He looked up and smiled at us. "You're not leaving are you Edward? It's still early."

Edward shook his head, "No Eleazar, I was wondering if I could have a word with you about something."

"Of course Edward, Bella, sit down." He held a ringed hand out toward a loveseat before him. We sat down and Eleazar quickly got up to shut the den door and appeared again in his seat. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, it's a little difficult to discuss. I'm not really sure where to begin." Edward started, nervously touching the back of his neck and smoothing his hair.

"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" He suggested kindly.

I had no idea what Edward was getting ready to discuss, but I had an inkling.

"Do you know how Alice can 'see' things? Premonitions I mean?" Edward asked, leaning forward and clasping his hands together nervously.

"Of course."

"About six months ago, she had a vision that I was going to be…transformed…into something else…She had a vision that I was somehow going to become human again."

Eleazar's eyes got very wide for a brief moment and then resumed their regular position in his head. He folded his long leg across his knee and leaned forward with interest. "Go on."

"I've never heard of anything like that happening before, neither has Alice," Edward continued, "I hypothetically asked Carlisle about it and he said you may know something about that subject matter."

"Edward, have you told Carlisle about any of this? Nonhypothetically speaking?" Eleazar asked, starting to sound like a concerned parent or a guidance counselor.

"I have not. Neither has Alice."

"Has Alice given you any indication as to a time frame?"

"No." Edward said quietly, looking at the floor.

"She says November." I chimed in unexpectedly. The two of them whipped their heads around to face me.

"She told you that?" Edward seemed shocked that I had kept that from him. "And you didn't tell me?" He sounded hurt and confused.

"I'm sorry Edward, I just, I, she told me not to." I stammered.

"Regardless," Edward continued again, "How is that possible Eleazar?"

"I don't know how accurate this is, but there has been one instance in our history where that may have happened." Eleazar paused for a minute, for dramatic effect? He seemed like the type, but no, it looked like he was trying to recollect something very distant. "According to legend, at least in Alaska, a person is born every hundred years or so that has an innate ability to heal the sick and wounded by simply laying their hands upon them and willing them to mend themselves."

"That is the legend that Carlisle is familiar with that he explained to me."

"In any case, there was a very strange incident at the beginning of the century. According to the Eskimos, their healer had been born, the healer was a female, and she started to understand her gift as she began to enter her twenties. She started working with a medicine man to perfect her gift, and to learn how to provide comfort to people she could not save. As Carlisle may have explained to you, not everyone is able to be saved." Edward nodded.

"What determines if someone can be saved?" I asked

"Supposedly, the healer can see into a person's soul. If a person's soul is used for good in some way and is still intact and of course, if the person wants to be saved, these are people that can be redeemed. Some people are wicked and treacherous, while others are too weak or have no desire to be saved; these are people who are too damaged to be healed."

"This healer was working with a medicine man, when she happened upon one of our kind one day. He was simply a nomad, hunting only when he needed to, never had any kind of companionship, that sort of type. But for some reason, he and the healer had some kind of connection to one another and became very close. She felt very isolated because of her gift and because her life would be considerably shorter than an average human and he felt very isolated because of what he was and his considerably longer life. They loved each other, not as a couple would, but as good friends would, he never let it come to that because of the danger to her it would cause." I saw a look of empathy pass over Edward's smooth face. "The day came, when the healer had grown so weak from her gift that she was dying. She was very young, and her companion could not bear to watch her die. He felt that she had been robbed of her human life because of her vocation, so on her deathbed, he changed her, into one of us. He stayed with her while the painful transformation occurred, trying to soothe her and distract her. At the end of it all, she was so grateful for what he had done, that she wanted to try to heal him."

"Would that have been possible if she were still human?" Edward asked.

"I don't know the answer to that question. Logic and reasoning tells me that no, she would not. I am not even sure that she could do that as a vampire."

"But she did?" He asked, more intensely.

"I cannot say. Because after this supposed incident, she and he disappeared. No one knows if either of them lived. But, I can say this, if she were able to transform a vampire into a human, it may very well have been because she was a newborn at the time and as you know, our powers are highly intensified during that time. This means, if she still exists, there is no way of telling if she could replicate that miracle. If it even occurred in the first place," He added. It sounded as if Eleazar were trying to talk Edward out of something.

"So, there may be a slight chance that this may be able to be accomplished." Edward said hopefully.

"Edward," Eleazar said gravely, "I can't believe you are seriously considering this."

"Wouldn't you if you were given the choice?"

"No. I don't think I would." He replied, his expression thoughtful.

"I think about it every day of my life."

"Why?" Eleazar asked.

"Her." Edward said simply.

"Edward, wouldn't it just be easier to make her one of us?" Eleazar carefully inquired.

"No."

"Why not?" I asked angrily.

"Bella," he said looking at me sadly, "I will not end your life for my own selfish gain."

"But it would be my selfish gain too." I pleaded

"I see this is a sensitive subject, perhaps we should discuss this elsewhere?" Eleazar said to Edward.

"I have no secrets from Bella." He said calmly, "Whatever you can say to me, you can say to her."

"Very well." Eleazar said solemnly, folding his hands in his lap. "I think you should reconsider this decision you are about to make. I believe you should take some more time to think about it."

"All I _do_ is think about it." Edward said miserably, "For the last six months, it has plagued my mind. If I could sleep, it would keep me awake at night."

Eleazar watched Edward closely. He held my hand tightly now and looked at the floor, he looked desperate, frantic, I hadn't realized how much Edward had been hiding from me since Alice started having her visions of him. I hadn't realized how much he had been thinking about the prospect of becoming human again, that he had been _hoping_ for it. It made me want to cry for him, because he could not.

"Edward," he said quietly, Edward focused his pretty eyes on Eleazar. "Have you considered the dangers that may await you if you pursue this?"

"Such as?"

Eleazar sighed and stood up to pace around the room. "Where do I begin? The biggest and certainly the most dangerous threat is the Volturi. What if they find out what you're up to? They are going to destroy you; they already have their eye on your family because of that stunt you pulled in Italy last year."

I shuddered when I thought of that horrible day I was finally reunited with Edward. It seemed so long ago and I tried not to think about it. The Volturi threatened to kill me if one of the Cullens didn't change me within the next few years. I was curious as to how Edward would address that. He said nothing, his mouth was a straight line and his eyes were blank.

"If they find out that you have been transformed into a human, they are going to come after you Edward, you and Bella."

"Why? What reason would they have?" he asked, clearly he wasn't thinking straight any longer.

"If you'll pardon the expression," Eleazar said bitterly, "You know too much."

"But why would I expose anything? That would put Carlisle and everyone at risk, regardless of whom I am, they'll always be family. I'm no threat."

"It doesn't matter Edward. The Volturi look for any opportunity to demonstrate their power, regardless of how irrational it may be and I am telling you, you are putting yourself and Bella at risk. How will you protect yourself from them if you are no longer a vampire?"

These were all very valid questions, and I was glad that Eleazar was addressing them. Edward dropped my hand and started rubbing his temples; he shut his eyes tightly let out a deep sigh. After a moment, he spoke, "Okay, so let's say somehow they find out, they come for me, using the excuse that they are checking on Bella's 'status', Alice will see them coming, and Bella and I can get away and lay low until they're gone. I'll just have to convince Carlisle to tell them that we're both dead."

My heart started to beat faster and I think I let out a tiny gasp, because Edward whipped his head around and said, "I'm sorry I had to say that, but it's the only way to get them to leave us alone."

Eleazar stopped pacing and probed him further, "how did the two of you die?"

Edward cleared his throat as if he were hesitating to put his plan into words, "I killed Bella trying to change her. It was too much for me to take and I couldn't stop and she died. I was so overcome with grief and guilt that I got myself killed shortly after. They'll believe it, I've already tried it once before."

"But how? It's nearly impossible to do."

"I went to see the wolves."

"Edward!" I hissed at him

"I'm sorry Bella, but it's the only thing other than the Volturi that _can_ kill me. I'll have Carlisle tell them that I violated the treaty by A. biting another human, and B. killing that human" he choked on the words, "and to add insult to injury, I trespassed onto their land to tell them about it. This part of the story will work out well since Jacob Black and all his cronies despise me, he's just been waiting for me to screw up so he can have his way with me."

I was furious at Edward for bringing Jacob into this. "That's not true!" I exclaimed in Jacob's defense, but I had to admit, it was a very believable story and might just work.

"Bella, please, I know exactly what goes through Jacob Black's head when he sees us together." He said tapping himself lightly on the temple.

"I have to admit, that's almost a fool proof plan." Eleazar congratulated, sitting back down in his armchair across from us. "But I still don't feel as if this is a good idea. Even if that plan worked, there are still many other dangers that are associated with being a human in a vampire family. Just ask your Bella, there are other vampires to worry about, the treaty with the wolves, politics, even your own brother, Jasper has been a danger."

"That was an accident." I said severely.

"Nonetheless," Eleazar answered calmly.

"You don't think that would happen with Edward?" I asked nervously, "They wouldn't, turn on him would they?"

"Of course they wouldn't Bella." Edward reassured

Eleazar continued on his rant, "There is also your mental health to be considered as well."

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully, I looked at Edward, whose eyes had gone blank again, he clenched his hands together nervously.

"He's concerned that I won't be able to cope with the transformation in a healthy way."

"Why not?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady. I waited impatiently for one of them to answer me; they looked at each other, as if they were debating who should answer me.

"Bella," Eleazar said gently, "Regardless of how strong Edward may seem to you, he is going to need a lot of help getting through what he needs to get through if he decides to go on with this. He hasn't been human for almost one hundred years; he has little to no recollection of what it was like to be like you. He is a very emotional being, and I fear that emotion will be intensified after the transformation. This means that everything he has shown you; his temper, his passion, his fear, his need to control, is going to be multiplied tenfold, and you are most likely going to be on the receiving end of all of that since he is closest to you. You need to be prepared for that."

My expression didn't change as I took in all of what Eleazar said. I looked over at Edward, my angel; he gazed back at me and smiled weakly, "Did you hear that? I'm quite a catch aren't I?" He remarked sarcastically, then immediately becoming very serious, "I don't know who I'm going to be at the end of all this. I can't really remember what I used to be like when I was alive."

I placed my hand on his cheek softly, he closed his eyes and leaned into my palm, "I'm prepared for that, as long as you stay _my_ Edward." He kept his eyes shut and smiled sleepily, placing his hand over mine.

"She sells sanctuary." Eleazar whispered, almost too faintly to hear, as he watched us interact with one another. "You are the one he is going to need most Bella, please never forget that."

Edward's eyes snapped open, as if he had forgotten that Eleazar was in the room and he sat up straighter.

"How do you think Carlisle will react?" Eleazar asked

"He and Esme will be supportive as long as it is what Bella and I want."

"And your siblings?"

"I'm not sure, I'd like to think they'd do the same, Rosalie might pose a problem, as she usually does."

"Don't let the girls know yet." Eleazar said nodding toward the living room, "I'll tell them when all is said and done."

"As you wish."

"Your father won't try and talk you out of this like I have?"

"No, but I'm sure he'll be just as worried as you are."

"You're going to lose all of your powers; your strength, your speed, your 'mindreading'"

Edward held up a finger to stop him, "Everything except that. The one thing I remember about when I was alive, I could still hear everyone's thoughts around me. But even if I lose that, it means nothing to me; a quiet mind would be a refreshing change for once. Besides, the one person whose thoughts I actually do want to hear is mute to me." He looked over at me and winked.

"He can't hear your mind?" Eleazar asked, stunned.

"None of your kind can. Not even Jane or Aro." I answered

"That's fascinating."

"That's frustrating." Edward retorted.

"Edward, I'm very concerned about this." Eleazar started again.

"I know," Edward said standing up, "I'm grateful to you for everything you've told me tonight."

"I won't ever keep anything from you, all you have to do is ask."

"Thank you, and I'm sure I'll have plenty to ask you another day regarding another subject."

"You know where to find me, all of us rather, regardless of what form you may be in. you and Bella."

"Thank you Eleazar," with that, Eleazar stood as well and shook Edward's hand and slapped him roughly on the back, Edward smiled and we headed for the door

"You'll always find your way won't you?" He called behind us, I glanced back to wave at him and saw a half smile on his face.

"I've got a good compass." Edward called behind us, not looking back, and as we approached the front door, I felt him give my hand a little squeeze.

The ride home was very quiet, I really liked Edward's cousins, and I felt like we would be spending more time with them while we lived out here. Eleazar didn't seem to be as warm and agreeable as Carlisle, but it was very clear that he cared about Edward like a father would, and I felt he would accept me more the longer I knew him. Kate and Tanya were very nice too, I was a little weary of Tanya, she seemed a bit arrogant and sharp, but not to the point where I couldn't trust her, and Kate, Kate was very down to earth and likeable, I hoped we would become friends. Edward didn't look like he was with me as he silently drove us home; he looked distracted, and deeply pensive. I left him to his thoughts; Eleazar had given him a lot to think about, me too, for that matter. What did he mean when he said that Edward's emotions would be multiplied tenfold? I didn't understand, I thought vampires were the ones whose senses were accentuated. I was under the impression that everything one could feel and do when they were human became stronger when they became a vampire. How could the reverse be true? I wanted to ask Edward so many things, but I didn't really believe that he would be able to answer me.


	15. Chapter 15 Night Terrors

**I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 15**

**Night Terrors**

It was November and already getting very cold in Alaska, Thanksgiving was right around the corner and I was feeling homesick. I missed Charlie, I talked to him several times a week on the phone, but I wanted to see his face. I wanted to hug him and see him smile at me with his crinkly, prematurely aged eyes. I longed to hear the sound of sports playing in the background of our tiny house and smell the Naugahyde of his chair. Edward and I had not planned to go home for Thanksgiving, but we would go back for Christmas break and then I would have a month or so to spend with Charlie. I missed the Cullens too, Edward didn't seem as nostalgic as I was, but then again, he had some family nearby. I ached for Charlie, I missed him so much. I didn't understand why I was feeling so down, usually I missed him, but it never caused me physical pain like it did right now. I figured it was probably because the holidays were approaching, and this would be my first time away from my parents. I missed Renee too, but she had Phil with her, and I didn't worry about her so much with him around.

I kept remembering what Alice had said before we had left for Alaska, that Edward's transformation would occur sometime over Thanksgiving break. However, she had made no further mention of it, and nothing to me indicated that we would be going back to Forks any time soon, which was supposedly where this would happen. I pushed it to the back of my mind, and tried to focus on my school work. Edward knew I was feeling down, so he promised to make me a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and watch football and the parade with me. I hated watching the game on Thanksgiving, but we always had when I was growing up, so it was kind of a tradition; a tradition that I loathed, but needed to have happen just the same. Edward's promise made me feel a little bit better.

It was the last day of the semester and I had just finished up my last exam. My new out of state school friends were bustling around getting ready to fly home for the holiday, except Martina, who could not afford to fly home. Edward and I invited her over for dinner the next day but she declined and said she was going to spend the day catching up on sleep. I always felt sad for her for some reason, she seemed like a broken person, maybe she would be the first person I would help when I graduated.

Thanksgiving night was when the dreams began. Edward and I had had a quiet but very nice day together. As he had promised, he made me a traditional dinner with turkey and stuffing and vegetables, and of course it was delicious, but we had piles of leftovers since I was the only one who could eat it. We watched the game and the parade and I took a nap, later on in the evening, I made my way over to Martina's dorm and dropped off some of our leftovers to be nice and let her know I was thinking about her. She gratefully took them and invited me in. I spent a few hours there with her, and then went back home. By the time I got back to the house it was nine o'clock and Edward had gone out, hunting I supposed. I showered and went to bed, exhausted, exhausted after a day of doing nothing. I had hoped that once the day was over, my ache to see Charlie would subside, but it hadn't, I fell asleep slightly teary eyed.

And then the nightmare came; a nightmare that would come to repeat itself multiple times that winter. In the dream, a long hallway faced me. I was sitting in an industrial style metal chair and I quickly stood up when I realized where I was. The lighting in the hallway was terrible, pale yellow lights threw dirty, murky shadows everywhere, I could barely see in front of me. I started down the hallway, holding the walls for support, and I tried to move with a sense of urgency, but I moved like I was treading through water. Panic and fear overcame the dream, I was looking for someone. I could feel that I was desperately looking for someone. I felt so tired in the dream, like the hallway wouldn't end and when I thought I was toward the end of it, it would lengthen before my eyes. When I finally reached the end of the hallway, there was a window, behind the window was a very well lit room. To my horror, Edward was in the room, seated in a chair similar to the one I had been sitting in, his back was to me. A shadowed figure stood in front of him, and didn't seem to notice me peering through the window, banging on it; there was no sound in the dream. Then suddenly, Edward's head fell back, I still couldn't see his face, but I knew that he was dead. I screamed in the dream, but no sound came, and I banged on the window, but it would not break, there wasn't a door in sight, there was no way that I could get to him and he was dead.

My eyes snapped open, the sheets were soaked and twisted around my bare legs, my heart pumped and my hair clung to my face, I knew I had been crying. A cool hand touched my thigh, and he was there. Alive and well seated at the foot of the bed. I scrambled over to him as quickly as my tangled body would let me and climbed into his lap. I buried my face into his hard shoulder, burrowing intensely, spastically, I could have broken my jaw but I didn't care. I clung to him and he held me still, trying to soothe me.

"I'm alright, I'm alright," I said tightly, "you're here and I'm alright, it was just a dream." I tried desperately to compose myself. I looked at his face for the first time since the episode had started and it was a twisted mask of sadness and concern.

"What's the matter?" I asked shakily.

"Carlisle just called." He said warily, I looked over at the clock radio; one thirty a.m. "Bella, Charlie's been shot."

I felt like I was going to vomit, I pulled away from him, my hands raised up slowly and covered my mouth, I felt my eyes widen in horror, tears started rolling down my face.

"He's alright, but he's critical, Alice is with him right now, Billy and Jacob are on their way…"

"We need to leave now." I whispered as tears continued to roll down my face. Edward nodded and disappeared.

I quickly put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt and tied my hair back in a messy ponytail. I threw on sneakers and searched the house for Topaz; he would have to come with us. I found him and his cat carrier and shoved him in, he didn't fight me. Edward reappeared suddenly with two backpacks full of our stuff. I saw him putting wads of cash into his wallet and setting the security system for the house. He slung both bags onto his back and grabbed our coats, tossing mine at me. I quickly got into it and followed him to the garage; the roads were beginning to get icy so we took the Escalade. We said nothing on the car ride to the airport. If I started to talk I would start to cry, and I had to keep myself together until I made it to the plane. The time was nearing two o'clock in the morning, Edward's phone rang, he grabbed it at half a ring, it was Alice.

"Alice, how is he? What's going on?" he waited for her response and spoke again, "Bella's okay, right now, we're on our way to the airport, we'll get there as soon as we can." There was silence for a few minutes more and then he just hung up.

I didn't ask, I was concentrating on my composure, trying not to fall apart, I knew there was a reason I had been missing Charlie so much lately.

"Charlie remains stable. Billy and Jacob are with him. It's a little tense with Alice there with the two of them, but nobody seems to care right now. We'll be there soon." He said calmly. I felt more tears coming on, and Edward took my hand tightly in his, I took deep breaths to relax myself and I heard Topaz mew softly in the back seat.

We got to the airport in time to catch a flight that was headed for Seattle, no layovers. At this rate, we might be able to get there by daybreak, or a little while after. We practically had to run to the gate and I knew Edward was having a hard time keeping normal human speed. Once we were seated, I took it upon myself to fall apart all over him. As usual, he didn't mind, I felt like my meltdowns on airplane rides were becoming a tradition and I didn't like it, I would have to start packing valium instead of Dramamine if this kept up.

"What happened to him? Why did he have to go to work tonight? I should've gone home to him, and then he wouldn't have gotten shot." I moaned, burying my head in Edward's chest.

"Bella, he's going to be alright, you know this isn't your fault. Carlisle said that he's critical, but he's going to make it." He whispered into my snarled hair.

"He's all by himself." I sobbed, my shoulders shaking. He wrapped his arms around them tightly, trying to make me still.

"Alice and Jacob and Billy are with him. We'll be there soon enough, I promise. Carlisle has changed his schedule with the overnight doctor and is with him. Everything is being done to help him, he's in good hands."

"I know that, I just want to see him right now." Composure was starting to come over me slowly.

"I know you do love," he wiped my puffy eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, "listen, I'll keep tabs on Charlie and you get some rest. I'll wake you up when we're almost home."

I was too upset and tired to argue with him, "Alright, ok" I said defeated. I took off my jacket and balled it up into a pillow and rested against the window, I wrapped my arms around myself for warmth and comfort. As if on cue, Edward quickly removed his jacket and covered me with it. The last thing I saw before I konked out from exhaustion was Edward putting on his headphones and clicking on his mp3 player, he was trying to escape just as much as I was.

We arrived at the airport around eight o'clock, I had slept the entire flight and I woke shortly before the touchdown to Edward gently nudging me to get up. I had almost forgotten why we were here and then the horror struck me again, Charlie had been shot. I burst up out of the seat and ripped my bag out of the overhead enclosure. Frantically I shoved my way through the crowd off of the plane and hurried down the hallway, I felt like I was moving very quickly, but Edward managed to keep up with me without breaking his stride once. I kept moving right past the baggage claim, when Edward had to stop me.

"Bella," he called after me, my sneakers made a squeaking sound as I skidded to a stop I turned and looked back at him impatiently, "Topaz," he reminded me.

"Right." I forgot it wasn't just the two of us anymore; we had a traveling companion these days. We safely retrieved Topaz unscathed, he stared at me with his yellow eyes in curiosity, he seemed a little off these days, like he wasn't feeling well, but I couldn't worry about that right now.

He looked anxious after his first plane ride. Edward picked up his cage and peered inside. "It's alright little man, we're here," he cooed softly at him. Topaz immediately relaxed and began to purr and rub his face on the cage. I think he preferred Edward to me on most occasions.

We continued toward the exit, a little more slowly so as not to disturb the cat, when we finally reached the door, Jasper and Emmett were waiting for us.

"Hey kids!" Emmett boomed at us, "Long time no see."

"Hi Emmett, hi Jasper." Edward said warmly

I tried to smile at them, but I couldn't. "Bella, are you alright?" Emmett asked a little more softly. I burst into tears and ran to Emmett and hugged him.

Jasper stepped in and took my hand and looked at my face, his gentle gold eyes piercing through me. "Bella, Charlie's going to be fine, he just got moved from ICU to a regular hospital room, he's healing well." A wave of calm washed over me, I assumed that was why Jasper had come, to soothe us, I hugged him too. Topaz let out mew and began to purr loudly.

"What," Emmett chuckled, "is that?" he pointed at the carrier in Edward's hand.

"It's a cat you jackass what do you think it is?" Edward growled.

"I'm sorry, we had to take him with us on such short notice, do you guys mind?" I asked, letting go of Jasper.

"That's fine Bella, please don't worry." Jasper reassured calmly. Emmett continued to laugh.

"Can we get going please?" Edward said impatiently.

"Right, let's go." Emmett said, becoming all business. He took our bags and Topaz and loaded them into his jeep and we were on our way, Edward sat in the front and I sat in back with Jasper. I felt better that Charlie had been moved, but I still was on edge, I think Jasper sensed that and did all he could to protect me from my frightened, irrational thoughts.

We arrived at the hospital in less than an hour and I practically sprinted to the front desk. "Charlie Swan please." I blurted out to the receptionist, Edward stood protectively behind me with his hand on the small of my back.

"Room 309, third floor." She said in an uninterested tone, clearly she had no idea that my I was falling apart at the seams.

"Thank you." I said tersely, I turned and headed toward the elevator, my pace quickening at each step I took.

"Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, "I know you're upset, but you need to get a grip, you can't run and shove people around in a hospital, you have to calm down please."

I shut my eyes and walked onto the elevator, "you're right." I whispered. I took his hand and squeezed.

We stepped off the elevator and walked down the hallway. The ward smelled like hydrogen peroxide and simple green, it was nauseatingly sterile. I walked past the multiple hospital beds without glancing on either side of me, I didn't want to see anything. I started to feel hot and woozy, for the last six hours all I could think about was getting here and now that I was here I wanted to turn back around and go home. Whether it was my home at Charlie's or at the Cullens or even back to Alaska, I didn't care, I just wanted to be out of this hospital. The smell was suffocating me, I turned my head to the side and buried it into Edward's jacket and breathed deeply as I walked. His sweet fragrance filled my nostrils and the choking stagnant hospital air was gone. I felt like I could breathe again. Room 309, we were here.

I had no idea what I was about to walk in to, I didn't know what Charlie would look like, the sounds I would hear, the tubes that would be connecting him to all kinds of life supporting devices, I prepared for the worst. I walked in and it looked like I was at some kind of social gathering. Charlie was sitting upright, looking like his old comfy self; he had an IV catheter in one of his arms and a tube in his nose, just like I had when I was in the hospital. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, but that was it for all of the foreign life supporting devices that I had expected to see. Alice was perched at the foot of his bed giggling and Billy was seated in his wheelchair alongside the bed, to my delight, Jacob stood against the wall with his arms crossed across his chest smiling.

"Hey, there they are!" Alice exclaimed happily as we walked in. She hopped off the bed and ran to us and hugged us both.

"'Bout time you got here." Jacob said warmly as he approached me. "So, the only way we can get you to come home is by someone getting shot?" He teased as he hugged me.

"Shut up Jacob." I laughed. He looked up and saw Edward's tall form shadowing the doorway.

"Hello Jacob." Edward greeted politely.

"Hello." Jacob replied glaring at him, their relationship was frosty at best.

I was prepared to intercede, but I was here for a reason, and it wasn't to play referee for Jacob and Edward. "Dad," I whispered hurrying across the room to him.

"Bells," He whispered back with a weak smile.

I carefully squirmed into his arms and embraced him gently. It was a weak squeeze, but he hugged me back. I pressed my cheek against his stubbly face and shut my eyes tightly as tears of relief trickled out of them. "I was so worried," I whispered, my small voice trembling.

"Oh baby. It's okay, your old man's going to be fine." He said softly into my hair.

I pulled away from him slowly, still crying, I laughed a little between tears, and stared at him in amazement, he looked fantastic for someone who had been shot less than twelve hours ago.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh nothing, wrong place at the wrong time. We got called out to a robbery at a convenience store, when we got there the guy was still there, but we didn't know there was another one in the back of the store and he got me."

"Where'd you get shot?" I said almost choking on the words.

"He clipped me in the side." Charlie carefully lifted his shirt up, wincing a little, and I was able to see the huge bandage wrapped around his torso. "Broke a couple of ribs too, nothing major." I could see by the look on his face that he was physically uncomfortable, but he was trying to put a brave face on for me.

"Dad, you look like you're in a lot of pain."

"No, no, I got plenty of pain meds on board." He gestured to the IV bag overhead, "It's just Carlisle wrapped this thing so damn tight, I can barely breathe."

"Probably so you wouldn't bleed to death." I informed him. Charlie took my hand in his and I sat down beside him on the bed, we just stared at each other for a moment in silence. I felt at ease seeing him, talking with him and feeling the warmth and roughness of his hand on mine. All the fear I had been experiencing for the last seven hours had disappeared.

Edward approached the hospital bed cautiously, Jacob didn't take his furious eyes off of him for a second, it was like he was trying to guard Charlie and me from him, even though it was Edward's family who had saved Charlie's life and brought me back to him. Edward sat beside me on the bed careful not to disturb Charlie.

"How are you feeling Charlie?" Edward asked warmly.

"I've been better, but it's not so bad."

"I'm glad to see that you're going to be alright. Everyone was very worried about you, Bella was a mess."

Was a mess? I could only imagine what I looked like, my hair all matted and snarled, old sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt, not to mention my eyes were so swollen and red rimmed from crying that I was starting to have trouble seeing, you could probably blindfold me with a piece of dental floss by now. Charlie patted his rough hand against my knee.

"I'm going to drive home and let Topaz out, he's been cooped up for a long time. After that I'll come back." Edward said standing up.

"Okay." I whispered, he leaned over and kissed my forehead, I saw Jacob's face darken.

"Heal up Charlie," Edward said touching his shoulder lightly, Charlie gave him a polite nod. Edward passed by Jacob and gave him a look of warning, while Jacob looked like he would rip Edward's head off if we weren't in a hospital room. He quickly refocused and loped over to my side.

Alice didn't seem affected by what was happening, she just looked pleased to see that we were home for now. She bounced out of the room behind Edward and I heard her say, "you brought Topaz with you? I want to meet him."

"Who's she talking about?" Charlie asked, confused.

"We acquired a cat." I informed him sounding a bit too much like Edward at that moment.

Jacob leaned over and whispered in my ear harshly, "You sure he's not going to eat him?" I elbowed him in the ribs so hard that it caused him to cough out loud.

Carlisle poked his head in and saw me sitting beside Charlie on the bed. "I thought I heard that you two had gotten back." He flashed his irresistibly suave smile.

"Carlisle, thank you for taking care of my dad and thank Alice and Jasper and Emmett for me." I said attempting to straighten out my frazzled look.

"You'll be able to thank them yourself Bella. Where's Edward?"

"He was going to go home to drop off our stuff and let out…" my voice trailed off, I didn't know how Carlisle would feel about having animals in his house.

"Very well," he cut me off; thankfully I wouldn't have to explain about the cat yet. "Charlie, a nurse will be coming up shortly to give you some more meds."

"Should I go?" I asked

"Of course not, stay as long as you like Bella, he's your father."

"Thanks." I said sheepishly. With that, he was gone. The nurse came in, and I excused myself while she did her thing. Billy stayed with Charlie and Jacob and I headed out.

I had to get away from the stuffy indoors of the hospital, so Jacob and I went outside to walk in the woods behind the hospital. I felt like I hadn't seen the sun and the trees for days after the plane ride and the terminal and the hospital, so even though it was freezing outside it felt good to me. Jacob, as usual was unaffected by the unseasonably cold weather.

We walked silently side by side like we used to, and as expected, Jacob was the first to break the silence. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. What's been going on?"

"Oh you know, school keeps me really busy, I'm looking into getting a part time job on campus and the whole out of state thing throws off me being able to hang out with you after school." I said sarcastically.

"Do you miss Forks?" He asked.

"Well, yes, but Alaska is nice too. It's pretty similar to Forks but colder."

"But you hate the cold."

"I'm actually starting to really like it out there Jacob. I'm on my own, we live in a great house and get this, I see Northern lights on my back porch every night." I said, getting excited and wanting to share with him.

We continued along the walking path until we reached a clearing on the trail that faced a river. We sat down on the rocks together and watched the water. I shoved my hands in my pockets and shivered a little. The novelty of the cold air was starting to wear off. Jacob put his freakishly long arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his warm body. I instantly felt the heat and relaxed against it.

"Bella, why don't you just move back?" he asked suddenly, I turned and gazed up at him, his long black hair fell over his warm brown eyes and he nervously shoved the strands behind his ear. "I mean, I'm going to graduate in a year, and then we could go to school together somewhere local and you'd still be near Charlie and the Cullens. I mean, the bloodsucker's been alive like a hundred years, I'm sure he doesn't need another diploma, and really wouldn't care if the two of you stayed out here."

"Jacob!" I said angrily, pulling away from his inviting half embrace. "First of all, don't call him that, and second of all, I like Alaska, it's my home right now."

"Your home should be out here with me." Jacob blurted out, "Not out in some arctic place with him."

"Ugh, Jacob!" I said getting off of my rock and throwing my arms down in disgust, "God, don't do this, like I don't have enough to worry about right now. Look, I'm only going to be home for a few days, why can't we just spend time together without all of this heavy stuff coming out. I just want to be with my best friend for awhile, and not be criticized about the decisions I have made with my life ok? Why do you have to be such a jerk?!"

Jacob stood up and towered over me, Edward was much taller than me but Jacob dwarfed me, everything about him was huge. "Why do you have to be with him?" He argued.

I stared up at Jacob pleadingly, I was so tired, why did he have to do this to me? His skin trembled a little; he looked like he was about to phase. I didn't care, I just didn't care anymore, vampires, werewolves, it didn't matter, he wouldn't hurt me.

The trembling stopped as quickly as it came on, "no, you know what? You're right, you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I am being a jerk. But he just, he brings out the worst in me Bells, you know that."

"He's a permanent part of my life, just like you are, and besides, he's not here right now, and it's just you and me."

"Right." Jacob resumed his seat on the rock by the water, I sat back down beside him. He put his arm back around me to keep me warm and I nestled into him with my feet folded under me.

"So, seriously, what's been going on, you look like you're ready to crack." Jacob asked calmly.

"I think I might be," I replied. I lapsed into school, and meeting Edward's cousins, and the nightmare I had before I got the news about Charlie, about my weird feelings that I had been having about Charlie and then of course, about Charlie himself. Jacob sat and listened patiently, occasionally adding in a 'hm', or an 'ah' to let me know he was paying attention.

"What have you been up to?" I asked after I had finished my spiel. "You were gone for most of the summer. I didn't get to see you very much, where were you?"

"Where wasn't I?" He said rolling his eyes, "I just got home about a month ago. There's been a lot of stuff going on with the pack. I've been running a lot of errands for Sam lately. There have been some packs across the southwest that have been getting too numerous, they're overhunting, some people have gotten hurt, that sort of thing. Sam had me running defense and making treaties and meeting with elders and all kinds of stuff like that. It sucked mostly." He explained nonchalantly.

"Sounds like pretty important stuff. Did you get to have any fun out there?" I asked, mischievously probing for information.

"Well, I met a couple of girls here and there, had a little bit of fun with them."

I sat up and turned to him flabbergasted, "How much fun did you have with them?" I teased.

He grinned widely, his white teeth gleamed brilliantly against his smooth copper skin. "Let's just say that wolf girls are pretty wild and confident. They really know what they want." He looked embarrassed for a second, and then started to laugh like he had just come up with a fabulous joke, "and I know how to give it to them."

"You disgust me." I said grinning back at him. "I thought you were waiting to imprint on someone."

He rolled his eyes again, "like that's going to happen any time soon. Besides, the only person that I want is currently taken." He added a little more seriously, but not to the point of making the conversation uncomfortable.

I leaned back against him and he tightened his grip on me a little. "So how was it?" I asked casually.

"Fantastic." He said lowly. Of course it was, I thought to myself.

Then I thought of a fabulous joke of my own, "I hope you didn't get any fleas."

"You kidding me? They're crawling all over you right now." He laughed, roughly tousling my hair.

"EEw Jacob!" I squealed jumping up again.

"Just kidding! Sit back down with me." I resumed my position against him. "I'm sorry I was gone all summer. I was legitimately working for Sam, but, there was something else," he paused and said, sounding ashamed, "I was trying to stay away from you."

"Why would you do something like that?" I asked, trying to disguise the hurt in my voice.

"Well, I thought that you were going to…change…into…something else, and I didn't want to be around to see it. I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Don't worry; I don't think that will be happening any time soon."

"Why do you say that?" Jacob asked, not trying to disguise his elation in the slightest.

"If I tell you, you can't say anything to anyone, got it?" I said sternly.

"I'll put it in the vault." He assured me.

"Alice," I started

"Is she the freaky witchy one?" He interrupted.

"Yes" I sighed.

"I don't mind her so much, anyways, continue."

"ANYways, Alice had a vision over the summer that Edward would somehow be able to turn back into a human."

"How is that possible?" he asked, I then proceeded to tell him the story of the healer and everything Eleazar had told us about. Again, Jacob listened patiently and with some interest until I finished.

I had remained very serious the entire time, confiding in Jacob all of my fears and expectations of what was supposedly going to take place and it felt so good to get everything off my chest. It felt good to have a friend that I didn't have to keep secrets from, because he understood how important it was to keep the secrecy between us. Having a shape shifting wolf for your best friend was great. However, despite all of my worrying and seriousness, Jacob had to retort back with a sarcastic comment.

"Gee, he's really got everything going for him doesn't he?"

"Jacob, come on,"

"No seriously, he's rich, he's good looking, he's intelligent, he's got all kinds of supernatural powers, the only thing I had that he didn't was that I was still pretty much human, now I don't even have that. Now I really don't stand a chance with you." He smirked at me.

"If you think the only thing that you've got to offer the opposite sex is the fact you're human, you're way off." I teased.

"Really?" His smile gleamed, "go ahead then, tell me how great I am." I started giggling, "No, really tell me how handsome I am and how suave I am" I giggled some more, "tell me how good I smell and that I'm funny, and…" he teased and nudged me with his head.

"Yes, yes, you're all of those things." I laughed.

"Oh, who am I kidding? You're going to marry the ex-bloodsucker and have good looking, rich, intelligent babies with supernatural powers together."

"Shut up." I giggled

"There is one thing that I have that he doesn't have."

"What's that?" I asked

"Animal instincts." He said, arching an eyebrow at me suggestively.

"You need a cold shower or something." I suggested.

He hugged me close to his chest and muttered in my ear, "I'm glad you're back Bella, even if it is only for a little while."

We sat out in the woods by the river for about an hour, despite that whole scenario, very little of our conversation revolved around Edward and the doomed fact that Jacob and I could never be more than friends, or at least not in my mind we couldn't. He talked about the summer with the pack, how most of the males in the pack were imprinting and how he felt left out. I talked about school and how I was worried that I had chosen the wrong major. He talked about Billy, I talked about Charlie, and before I knew it, it was ten thirty in the morning.

We headed back to Charlie's room and found him sitting up in bed playing checkers with Billy. Edward had come back and was seated in an arm chair by the window, in his hand he had a deck of cards and he kept flipping through them one by one as if he were trying to memorize them. He had changed his clothes, and I remembered I was still in my ratty pajamas. I sat down on the arm of the chair beside Edward, he glanced up at me and threw me a smile, my insides fluttered and I heard Jacob let out an annoyed sigh as he flopped down beside Charlie and Billy.

Edward leaned over and teased in my ear, "you smell like you just left a kennel." I blushed a little.

I knew Jacob heard him, "Better be careful, she might have fleas" he said smugly. Edward glared at him. Why didn't the two of them just get it over with and urinate on my shoes to mark their territory?

"What was that Jacob?" Charlie asked, not looking up from his game.

"Nothing Charlie, just a private joke," Jacob smirked. Edward went back to his card counting.

We all stayed until a little after eleven, then Charlie's pain meds started to kick in and he became drowsy. The party started to break up and I was a little relieved, because I really needed a shower and a change of clothes. I felt disgusting. Jacob and Billy left together and I promised Jacob that we would get together again before I went back to Alaska and he seemed satisfied. I hugged and kissed Charlie and promised to return that night, he was nearly comatose by the time I had put my jacket on.

Edward and I climbed into Emmett's jeep and headed to the Cullen's. I felt as ease, having seen Charlie and having been able to talk to Jacob, but then started feeling guilty about it. I sniffed my sweatshirt and my hair and looked over at Edward, his eyes were glued to the road and his cool hand rested on my thigh.

"Do I really smell like a kennel?" I asked, paranoid now.

He removed his gaze from the road and looked at me, amused. "I can tell that you're starting to calm down now."

"You can?"

"It's your scent. When you're anxious, it becomes more intense and pronounced, but as you calm down, it becomes more subdued and just kind of, swirls around me. I can always tell what kind of a mood you're in." He explained.

"How come you never told me this before?'

"I just recently started noticing it, not your smell of course, but the way it changes with your mood. I never noticed before, maybe it's because we live together now, you pick up on all sorts of little things."

"I actually caught myself talking like you today." I said shyly.

"Really?" he asked, grinning widely now in amusement, "What did you say?"

"Well, when Charlie asked me who Topaz was, I said to him, 'we recently acquired a cat.' Who says that? I could have just said, we got a cat."

Edward laughed softly, "You're right, that does sound like something I would say."

"Sick isn't it?"

"Actually, it's very endearing." He paused for a moment, and then said, "No, actually, it is pretty sick."

We got to the Cullen's house and a wave of drowsiness overcame me, I suddenly wanted to sleep, no, I needed to sleep. I almost didn't want to shower; I wanted to just change my clothes and flop onto the couch in Edward's room and fall asleep until I had to go see Charlie again. Yes, maybe that's what I would do; maybe Esme would make me dinner, like she did last time I was there. Maybe Edward would play the piano for me, I hadn't heard him pick up an instrument in months…I walked in the front door and saw the familiar white open living room I had grown to love, before I went to bed, I would find Esme and hug her, I would… then I saw Alice before me looking very sad,

"Alice, what's wrong?" Edward asked, immediately concerned

"It's Topaz, he's…he's sick." She said quietly.

I shut my eyes, and felt my need for sleep disappear immediately and become replaced with alertness and responsibility.

"I'll call a vet." Edward sighed; he pulled his silver cell phone out of his pocket and left the room.


	16. Chapter 16 Dr Patience Juno

**I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 16**

**Dr. Patience Juno**

"What do you mean he's sick? He was fine earlier today." I asked with a protective edge to my voice.

"He's vomiting everywhere, he can't keep anything we give him down, and he's lethargic." Alice explained, "Edward," she called.

He peered around the corner with his phone to his ear and mouthed the word, 'what?'

"Call the place I work at, they'll take him right away, I'll come with you, give me the phone." He reluctantly handed her the phone. She dialed the number within seconds and was speaking to a receptionist, "Yes, Denise, it's Alice, yeah I know it's my day off, look, my brother just flew in from Alaska, they brought their cat with them and now he's vomiting all over the place, can Patience see him? Great, we'll be right down." Alice hung up the phone and tossed it back to him. "Let's roll, I'll drive."

Once again, I put my coat on and grabbed my purse; Edward disappeared into the house to find Topaz. He returned with him in the carrier, Topaz's eyes looked dim and sad. "Bella, he doesn't look so good. I don't understand, he was fine when I left him." Edward's forehead crinkled up in concern.

"He's probably okay, maybe the flight upset him or something, we'll get him checked out." He nodded and followed me to the car. We took Carlisle's Mercedes, since Alice's Porsche was having work done on it. It didn't take very long to get to Alice's work, about fifteen minutes, we pulled into the long driveway and parked, there didn't seem to be many cars in the lot and I hoped that we would be seen quickly.

We entered the building and Alice immediately went behind the desk and started gathering papers and a clipboard. A middle aged woman with glasses and blond hair approached the counter; I assumed that this was Denise.

"I can't believe you got here so quickly." She said to Alice as she flitted around the counter with her new client paraphernalia.

"Denise, this is my brother Edward and Bella, his girlfriend. She's going to be my sister some day." Alice said keeping the mood light and winking at us.

"I didn't know you had such a large family," Denise gushed.

"I have another brother and a sister too. But, Edward and Bella are my favorites."

"Pleased to meet you," Denise said warmly to the two of us. "We just love having Alice around."

"I wish I could say the same sometimes." Edward cracked with a smile. Denise started giggling and Alice threw a pen at him. She came around the desk and handed me all of the paperwork I needed to fill out, then, like lightening she grabbed the carrier from Edward and started to head toward one of the exam rooms.

"Be right back." Alice stated quickly and disappeared.

I had just about finished filling out all of the paperwork when Alice returned empty handed. "My boss is looking at him right now, they're going to run some blood work and possibly take an x-ray of his abdomen to make sure he's not obstructed, if he's not, then they're going to give him subcutaneous fluids and some drugs to settle his stomach. Is that okay?" it took me a second to take in the run on sentence she had just blurted out, but before I could answer, Edward had heard what she said and processed it.

"That's fine Alice, whatever needs to be done." He said calmly.

"What do you mean if he's obstructed?" I asked, confused, I had absolutely no medical background whatsoever.

"That means that if he got into something he shouldn't have and ate it, it could cause a blockage as it passes through his system, causing him to vomit every time he eats or drinks because nothing can get through to be digested. It's very dangerous." Edward informed me.

"Oh, well let's hope it's not that then."

He put his arm around me and tried to reassure me, "Bella, he's a cat, not a Labrador, what could he have possibly gotten into?"

"Actually, we had a cat come in last week that ate a piece of thread with a sewing needle attached to it and he had to have emergency surgery. When they opened him up they found the thread wrapped around the intestines causing them to necrose and they had to remove like, six inches of his bowel." Alice explained casually.

Edward glared at her and said bluntly, "Alice, not helping."

"Sorry." She said sheepishly, "Do you sew Bella?"

"Umm, no Alice I don't sew." I said in a very obvious tone.

"Then you don't have to worry about him swallowing a needle." She said trying to cheer me up.

"I need to go outside." I said laying down the clipboard and heading to the door, I saw Edward give Alice an annoyed look and follow me out. I sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and sighed, the time was now rounding one o'clock, I hadn't slept, showered, changed or eaten for almost twelve hours. My stomach started to growl. He sat beside me and said nothing, he didn't need to, just being there next to me as he always was, was enough.

I rested my head against his shoulder, ".starving." I muttered.

Edward looked at his watch and said, "You should be, you haven't eaten since dinner last night."

Thanksgiving seemed like it was weeks ago, even though it was only yesterday. I looked around where I was and spied a convenience store across the street from the practice.

"Never in all my years would I have pictured myself sitting at a veterinary office on black Friday, waiting on blood and x-ray results for a cat, a pet, which I share with someone." He chuckled and looked over at me with a smile, "you sure know how to whip a man." I smiled back at him and laughed.

"Go inside," I said getting up, "I'm going to run across the street and grab a snack."

"Fair enough." He sighed heavily as he stood up.

I decided on combos and an iced tea, that would do for now, I threw the money on the counter, headed back to the clinic and reclaimed my seat on the wooden bench beside Edward.

"Topaz Cullen?" A technician called out to the waiting room.

I stood up again and was stopped when Edward gently grabbed the sleeve of my jacket. "Cullen? You put _my_ last name down for him?"

"Well, you are his father." I smirked, before he could argue, I was headed toward the exam room, Edward dutifully followed, Alice close behind.

The technician shut the door behind us and told us the doctor would be right in, taking just a moment to stare longingly at Edward, he smiled, embarrassed, and looked at the floor. He did that so well, the technician blushed and scurried out of the room.

"Who's the doctor?" Edward asked Alice

"Dr. Juno, Patience is what we call her, she's excellent."

"Does she not make public appearances or something?" I asked taking a swig of my iced tea.

"You'll see." Alice said with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

The door opened quietly and the doctor walked in, I almost gasped out loud, her perfect skin and almond shaped eyes led me to realize, she was a vampire. A look of surprise crossed over Edward's face.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Juno." She said with a very calm smile. She looked up and saw Alice and her beautiful smile got bigger. "Alice, what are you doing here on your day off?"

"Patience, this is my brother Edward and his girlfriend Bella, Topaz is their cat. So I guess I'm your patient's aunt."

"So nice to meet you both, Alice talks about you constantly." She reached out a long elegant hand to shake mine and Edward's. She was breathtaking, and extremely exotic looking. She had long black hair that trickled down her back like a dark waterfall, her eyes were not amber, but onyx colored, I wondered if she was thirsty or if that was just what she looked like. She didn't seem troubled at all by my presence. She had perfect skin that was tight around her high wide cheekbones; she had to be part American Indian or Eskimo or something tribal. Her waist was tiny and her hips were wide and muscular, she looked like she could break a man's neck with her thighs. Confidence exuded from her.

Edward looked completely stunned and pleased at the same time. I had never seen him react to someone like that before, a flame of jealousy rushed through me briefly. He reached for her hand to grasp it and another look of surprise came over him. Whatever she was thinking about, it had piqued his interest considerably. More waves of jealously washed over me. Alice looked anxious off in the corner.

"I have the blood work results back, Topaz's liver values are slightly elevated, but nothing I would be concerned about yet. However, the x-ray provided me with most of the information I required to make a diagnosis." She said in a serene but all business tone.

"Did he swallow a sewing needle?" I asked stupidly.

Her throaty laugh tinkled throughout the room, "no, not exactly, he didn't swallow anything he wasn't supposed to but he does have a very unusual disorder." With one graceful movement she threw the x-ray up on the viewer and snapped the light on. "Now, as you can see here…" she started

Edward gazed up at the viewer and spoke before she could continue, "His liver is in his chest."

"What does that mean?" I asked confused now more than ever, I may not have a medical degree, but I knew that the liver was not commonly found in the chest.

Edward knew what it meant, but instead of interrupting again, he let the doctor continue.

"You're exactly right, his liver is in his chest and so is his gallbladder. Your cat has a diaphragmatic hernia. The diaphragm is a wide band of muscle that is found between the lungs and the abdomen. It is an essential muscle that functions to protect the internal organs and allows the lungs to rise and fall when you breathe. When a diaphragmatic hernia occurs, the muscle develops a hole, which in this case, has created an opening in which the liver and the gallbladder have moved up and into the chest."

"So why isn't he having trouble breathing, with all that crowding occurring in his chest?" I asked trying to wrap my mind around all of the information I had just heard.

"I'm not sure, but I can say that I fear his breathing may become affected soon if left untreated." Dr. Juno stated carefully. A concerned look crossed over Alice and Edward's faces.

"Why is he vomiting?" I asked

"The vomiting is part of an inflammatory response caused by the overcrowding, and I also feel that his digestion may be affected due to the tightness around the gallbladder."

"Is this treatable? Is he going to die?" I asked, starting to feel panicked.

Edward put his hand on my waist and said gently, "Bella, he's going to need surgery." He threw a glance toward the vet, "isn't that correct?" he asked.

"Yes, he is going to need surgery."

"Fine, let's do it." I said tersely. Dr. Juno look perplexed by my quick response, she glanced over at Edward and he nodded in agreement with me.

"Before you make that decision, I need to warn you that it is a very risky surgery for an animal at any age, but being that he's so young, he poses a high risk for hypothermia, hypoglycemia, arrhythmias…And the surgery itself is very difficult, someone would have to breathe for him the entire time, and his recovery could take weeks, and usually in situations like this one, I've only seen fifty percent of patients make it through. I want you to think these things over very carefully."

I spun around and looked at Edward intensely, "Edward, _he_ found _us_, he could have been eaten by an animal or hit by a car or brought to a shelter, but he found us, he found us for a reason, we're meant to help him, we need to do the surgery."

"Bella, Bella," he muttered almost too quickly for me for me to hear, "that's fine, we'll do it, whatever you want."

"You're sure?" I asked, embarrassed by my intensity suddenly.

"I am."

"He'll be alright Bella, I can see it." Alice whispered to me. I saw Dr. Juno snap her a glance and then her expression immediately softened.

"As long as the surgery goes well, Topaz will be fine. He'll be able to live a normal healthy life for all of his days. We've run blood work and we have certain drug protocols for these types of cases. We take every precaution we can. I have the best techs working here that I've seen anywhere, I don't want you to be fearful, but I want you to be aware." Dr. Juno said gently to me, touching my arm.

"I understand." I said calmly, I think she felt bad about upsetting me, she went on to explain the procedure to me and Edward and Alice listened with interest.

Dr. Juno wrote us in the book for the following Monday to schedule Topaz's surgery, she gave him fluids to make up for his losses and get him through the weekend. Alice was delighted that we scheduled the surgery for Monday because she was working, I felt a little more at ease knowing that she would be able to monitor and breathe for him. I left the clinic feeling more at ease even though I knew we weren't out of the woods yet.

"So, um, she seems nice." I said breaking the silence as we drove home.

"She's the best." Alice said with admiration.

"How come you didn't mention you worked for a vampire?" I asked.

"I didn't think it was important." She replied

"A little warning would have been nice." I said bitterly, "I sounded like an idiot in front of her and I just kept staring."

"She didn't notice." Edward chimed in. the gentle motion of the car started to bring back the drowsiness I had been fighting all day. How much more would my mind be able to take? I still had to shower, nap, eat something and go back to the hospital tonight to see Charlie. Some Thanksgiving break this was turning out to be.

I planned to stay with Edward's family until Charlie was released from the hospital which was approximately in two days, as long as he continued to heal properly. We arrived once again at the big open house by the river and I hurried inside when I suddenly got a burst of short lived energy. I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom and took the longest shower of my life. I washed the sticky residue of my tears off my face and shampooed my sweaty, gnarled hair twice, I let the warmth of the steam and water fill my lungs and lift away the congestion I felt. I had been in sweat pants all day, in an effort to feel more human and less zombieish, I put on a pair of comfortably worn jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt.

I padded down the hallway to Edward's room and he was lying on his couch waiting for me, Mazzy Star played lowly on the stereo. His eyes lit up brightly when he saw me enter and in an effort to be cute he threw his arms open to receive me. I immediately dropped my dirty clothes and towel on the floor and hurried toward him to accept his invitation.

I laid down facing him and snuggled against his chest, molding my newly showered self against his hard glacial body. He was my rock, my sanity, I couldn't live without him.

"This has been one of the worst days of my life." I mumbled into the soft fabric of his shirt.

"It only gets better love." He said sarcastically as he rubbed my back.

I pulled my face out of his chest and looked up at him and he smiled down at me, his irises were starting to darken slightly, the purple circles were starting to form under his tired eyes. He really wasn't that different from me I thought to myself. Stress took his energy as quickly as it did mine, a meal doesn't last him as long when our lives were in turmoil. He was human enough to me.

"You need to hunt." I said dreamily.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I can still go for a few more days."

"But you shouldn't, it's not good for you."

"True, I shouldn't wait so long, especially when I'm so close to you, but I don't think anything could separate me from you right now." He touched my face lightly, my eyes were still swollen from crying, and he looked pained by it.

I should have insisted that he go out for a little while and get some of his strength back, but I couldn't I needed him to stay with me right now. "Good." I mumbled pushing my face back into his chest.

The mellow sound of the music brought the wave of exhaustion over me rapidly, he probably chose this CD on purpose, so I could fall asleep faster. If he could sleep, he would have been out like a light by now, I could tell. I felt him letting his fingers comb through my damp hair almost absentmindedly, like he was trying to soothe himself as well as me. I felt him tuck his chin against me and rest his forehead against the top of my head. I kissed his chest and squeezed him tighter, and then I fell asleep, finally.

It was dark when I awoke and we hadn't moved all day, it had begun to rain, I could hear it tapping against the glass of the giant picture window in Edward's bedroom. I heard the CD player still playing, Mazzy Star was over, but something just as mellow played in the background. I heard something else, a deep rumble, I moved my head a little and saw Topaz, curled up in a ball on top of Edward's hip, sleeping soundly and purring loudly. Edward looked like a statue that hadn't moved, still with his arms wrapped around me.

"Aren't you uncomfortable?" I whispered, feeling my back tweak a little from being on my side for so long.

"Not at all." He purred.

I had to get up, my body hurt, I slowly got up and stretched, as usual, my undersized shirt, rode up a little in the front, exposing my navel. Edward stretched out his hand and brushed the back of his hand against it briefly. I shot him a startled look.

"Sorry." He said quietly.

"Don't be." I said, smiling, flattered. He smiled back and respectfully retracted his hand back against his body.

"Bella," he started hesitantly, "I have to tell you something, something that I saw today."

I sat down with my back against his hip, Topaz stirred slightly and opened and closed his paw on Edward's leg and fell back asleep. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Bella?" Edward repeated, taking me away from my distraction.

"What is it Edward?"

"That veterinarian…she's the healer."

"What?" I gasped, Topaz woke up startled and hopped off of Edward and trotted away. Edward sat up quickly.

"I saw her mind, she's the healer."

"It all makes sense now." I whispered, "Everything that Alice said,"

"What has Alice told you?" he asked, I was surprised that he really had no idea what I was talking about, considering how close he and Alice were.

"Alice said before we left for school, that things were going to start to be set in motion at the end of November. She said that we weren't planning to come back for Thanksgiving, but somehow we were going to come back, something unexpected was going to happen that would make us come back."

"Charlie getting shot," He whispered.

"Right, and then Topaz getting sick while we're here caused us to bring him to the vet Alice works for. If we weren't here, if we were in Alaska when he got sick, we would have just had the surgery done out there." I couldn't believe how much fate was playing a hand in the direction of our lives, Topaz found us, Charlie getting shot but not killed, Topaz getting sick, Alice working at a vet, the vet was the legendary healer, Thanksgiving break, everything was falling into place perfectly. Then I remembered Alice's concern about Edward's safety, that unsettling syringe of silvery liquid she gave me, I shuddered at the thought of it. I was beginning to believe that Edward could be become human again.

I looked over at him, he wasn't with me, I could see that his mind was far away, lines of confusion filled his face. Everything about his expression was intense, almost smoldering.

"What do you think of all of this?" I asked.

"I think," he hesitated, looking for the answer, "I think Dr. Juno and I need to have a conversation." He looked at me nervously.

He had doubts, now that the reality of the situation was hitting him, he was having doubts. Whatever he decided to do, I would support him. My thoughts started scattering, I thought about what it would be like if he decided to err on the side of caution and stay the way he was, then maybe someday I could join him. I could be timeless and powerful and stay with him forever, it would be remarkable. We could travel everywhere and learn, and play baseball with his family, and I could finally be included, completely. He wouldn't have to monitor himself so carefully around me. I could be lost in his magical, warm, amber eyes forever. Then my mind switched gears and showed me the human Edward. He could be just like me, we could get married, he could be the father of my child. We would have jobs and a house and we could eat and sleep together. He would be able to dream and go out in the sunlight in front of everyone, not just me, we could live anywhere we wanted. I could be lost in his green human eyes until we reached the end of our life. As long as we were together I didn't care who he was, or what he looked like, I just wanted our lifespan to match up a little more evenly.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Topaz throwing up in the other room. Oh yes, mortality was a grand thing wasn't it? I started to rise from the couch, when Edward gently placed a cool hand on my shoulder, and pushed me back down into my seat.

"I've got this love." He kissed the top of my head and gracefully strode out of the room.

"Edward! Ugh, animals are so disgusting." A voice shrieked from down the hall.

"Sorry Rose." Edward called back to her, before he disappeared down the hall; he turned and winked at me mischievously.


	17. Chapter 17 Under the Knife

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 17**

**Under The Knife**

Topaz's surgery day had arrived, Charlie had been discharged from the hospital the day before and the three of us had been staying together. Charlie really liked Topaz; I was surprised since I had never really had a pet when I was growing up. I wondered now if that was more Renee's doing than Charlie's, I could definitely see him with a pet. I had fasted the cat the night before, as was I told, not like he had been eating much all weekend to begin with. I was glad we were going through with the surgery; he seemed to be getting worse. He wasn't to the point where things were dire, but he was miserable. He should have been acting like a kitten, playing and getting into trouble and eating everything in sight, but instead he was lethargic and had very little appetite, his spirits were okay, but things were really starting to take a toll on our poor little monster.

He slept by my side all weekend, purring and kneading at my shirt, it seemed like the only time he was comfortable was when he was snuggling with Edward or me. Saturday night was really bad, he wouldn't eat anything and we had to hand feed him some kind of rich food the doctor had given us. Edward was very patient with him, he would spend up to an hour with Topaz, mixing the food with warm water and drawing it up into a syringe and squirting it into his tiny little mouth. He was much better at it than me; I usually ended up spraying food everywhere and getting more on Topaz's face and chest than in his stomach. Alice was even better than Edward, but of course, she did work at a vet's office, in fact, she was the one who came up with the idea of using the syringe to feed Topaz.

It was the morning of the surgery; I woke up earlier than I needed to because I wanted to be able to spend some time with Topaz before we had to leave. My alarm went off at five o'clock and I practically knocked it off the nightstand shutting it off. It was still dark outside, so I turned on the lamp. There was Topaz, curled up on the pillow above my head; his paw kneaded my face a little bit. I rolled over on my side to look at him and his little yellow eyes slowly opened and gazed sleepily at me.

"Hey little man," I whispered, scratching his head. He sat up and stretched and let out a little noise. At the end of his stretch, he stepped toward me and banged his head into mine. "Good morning to you too," I giggled with a yawn. I sat up a little straighter against my pillow and called him over to me. He walked over my shoulder and onto my chest, circling several times and then collapsing against me, purring. His breathing seemed a little more labored this morning I thought. Was that possible? It seemed awfully soon for his condition to affect him this way. Waves of anxiety swept over me and I put my arm around him, he kicked his feet against my arm and curled up closer to my neck. I sat with Topaz wrapped around my neck for an hour or more, just petting him and listening to him breathe, I worried about how the surgery would go, but Alice said he was going to be okay, and she was going to monitor him and…I heard Edward's soft knock at the front door.

"I'm upstairs." I said loud enough so I knew he would be able to hear me. Within moments he had silently appeared in my doorway.

I can't imagine he could even see my face with Topaz curled around me like a mink stole, "good morning," he said in a husky tone, it sounded like he had a cold.

"Are you losing your voice? Is that possible?" I asked, confused.

He chuckled hoarsely, "we had an arm wrestling tournament at home last night. I may have gotten a little carried away and it is affecting my voice this morning." He sounded like an android when he spoke sometimes. I felt a smirk make its' way across my face.

"What?" He asked with a grin, "what's so funny?"

"Nothing, I've never heard your voice sound like that before. It's very sexy." I teased.

He rolled his eyes at me, "how did he do last night?" He asked gesturing at Topaz.

"He had a good night. I didn't need to hand feed him, he ate on his own, but he sounds like he's having some trouble breathing this morning." I answered, my light tone becoming slightly anxious.

"It's a good thing he's having the surgery today."

I nodded at Edward in agreement, "I think so too." I said sadly.

Edward climbed into the bed next to me putting his back against the other pillow. He reached over slowly and lifted Topaz off of me without disturbing him in the slightest and set him down in his lap. He looked at our tiny, sickly pet and started to rub his thumb in a circle over his pink nose, Topaz sighed, "he likes to have that spot between his eyes rubbed. It makes him fall asleep." He quietly explained to me.

"I'll have to remember that." I whispered back.

"Why don't you go do your human stuff and I'll stay here with him. We're going to have to get going soon." He suggested hoarsely.

"Sure." I said agreeably, starting to gather up my things. We had plenty of time, but I had a feeling Edward wanted to spend some time with Topaz just as I had. I wondered if our little man knew just how much Edward and I had grown to love him.

You would have thought we were waiting for one of our parents or one of Edward's siblings to come out of a coma, or have a baby, or go through open heart surgery the way we behaved all day after we had dropped Topaz off for his surgery. We decided that it would be best if we went our separate ways for the day, thinking that our anxiety would cause widespread panic between the two of us all day. Besides, we were home on break; it would be nice to spend it with other people that we didn't see all of the time. Edward went hunting with Jasper, Emmet, and Carlisle and I went to La Push to see Jacob, I figured if anyone could distract me with a laugh, it'd be him.

I got the phone call at two o'clock, Topaz was fine, his surgery went on without a hitch and we could pick him up at six. Alice said that she would have offered to bring him home with her when her shift finished, but she figured that we'd want to speak to the doctor.

I left Jacob at four, which gave me enough time to get home, do a load of laundry and make dinner for me and Charlie. Charlie had actually gone to work today, Carlisle advised that he could as long as he stayed at the desk. Charlie jumped at the thought of going back, four days of doing nothing was starting to make him go stir crazy.

Edward came to pick me up at five thirty, he looked considerably refreshed and to my slight disappointment, his husky voice had gone back to normal. We drove to the animal hospital and Alice was just finishing up her shift. We had a very informal meeting with Dr. Juno, she had retaken x-rays and was going over those, she talked about the pain medication she put Topaz on and showed us his incision, he stared up at us bleary eyed and exhausted and let out a sigh. His incision was a precise, clean line with a very small amount of sutures, she said that the surgery had only taken about an hour and he had maintained beautifully the entire time. I guess he wasn't as sickly and weak as I thought he was. Edward would always refer to him as a cat who thought he was a tiger. I guess it was true.

During the appointment, I watched Dr. Juno and Edward interacting, it was almost impossible to detect, but there was some type of electricity between them. It wasn't attraction; I knew that, I think it was more like fascination, like they were trying to figure each other out. I think she sensed that she was going to be more to us than just a veterinarian and was trying to figure out how and I think Edward was trying to explain to her.

We started toward the door behind Alice when suddenly, Edward stopped.

"Alice," he called, she turned and I could see them murmuring something rapidly between the two of them. Then I saw Alice take the carrier with Topaz in it and head for her car.

"Come with me." Edward said taking my hand and leading me back to the exam room. The receptionist didn't seem to notice. Each exam room had two doors one at the front of the room and one at the back; I assumed the back door led further into the hospital where clients were not allowed. Edward opened the back door and pulled me along with him. We were in a hallway, on the left side was a small laboratory area and in front of us was a row of computers with a wall of shelving full of prescription drugs. He looked to the right where the hallway continued and we headed that way, we found her in her office.

"Dr. Juno, I need to speak to you," Edward said evenly.

She sat very composed at her desk, stacks of files in front of her; still wearing her lilac colored scrubs. Her body straightened as she folded her hands on the desk and gave him a penetrating stare. "Yes Mr. Cullen?" She inflected tightly.

He shook his head at her, "please, call me Edward." He requested politely.

"As you wish," She replied coolly. "What can I do for you _Edward?_" she asked placing hard emphasis on his name.

I stiffened at the sound of her voice, her compassion seemed ceaseless with animals, her demeanor reflected her name; Patience. Even when we had first met her the other day, and the way she interacted with Alice, she had been very pleasant, but now, she was cold and disembodied. I wondered if she knew what Edward's intentions were.

Edward was getting annoyed with her, I could see it in his face, he thought she was rude. "I know who you are." He said curtly.

She cocked her head to one side and said "I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at." Her tone was condescending.

"You're originally from Alaska; you disappeared from there a _very _long time ago,"

"Am I supposed to be surprised by this statement, Mr. Cullen?" she asked, her semblance of tranquility not faltering.

"You're a healer." He said lowly, losing his gumption.

Her mask of calm started to break down slightly, "what does that matter?" She asked, her voice trembling a little.

The defensiveness of Edward's demeanor melted away completely, "I need your help." He whispered.

"Why would you need my help? Certainly you are able to heal yourself, you're a vampire." She scoffed as she casually waved her hand at him.

He didn't say a word, he just stared at her sadly as if she had just answered her own question, and then she understood.

Her eyes widened as the realization of what he needed from her hit her. A look of contempt crossed her face, "No." She said.

He shut his eyes and defeat overcame his entire being, and I knew that he wasn't going to argue with her. He was going to back off, I could see it, he was starting to turn his body to leave, I couldn't let this happen, no without a fight, not when it meant so much to him. She saw that he was going to leave as well and looked back down to her paperwork, it was about to end, I felt like this was our only chance, I had to say something.

"Wait!" I shouted, the two of them stopped what they were doing and stared at me. "Wait! Why not? Why can't you help him?" I walked toward her desk accusingly.

"Excuse me?" She growled, placing down her pen slowly.

"Bella, please…" Edward interceded taking a step toward me.

"Why, can't, you, help, him, Dr. Juno?" I said angrily taking another step toward her. I locked my eyes on her and straightened my posture; I wanted to rip her head off. She rose slowly from her desk, towering over my small frame. She looked like _she_ wanted to rip _my_ head off. The only difference between us was that she very easily could; she could and I didn't care.

"Bella, stop this," Edward took my hand and I ripped it away from him.

"No!" I shouted without looking at him, "I want to know why the all mighty and powerful Dr. Patience Juno the healer cannot spare a moment of her precious time to explain to you why she's being such a bitch." My eyes burned through her, I was enraged.

The good doctor looked like that had done it, I suddenly felt fearful, a look crossed her face that was purely animal, her beautiful ebony eyes grew darker, her delicately manicured eyebrows furrowed and her lip curled slightly. I started to back up when abruptly, Edward was crouched in front of me, and I heard a low growl rumble from him.

"If you so much as touch a hair on her I swear on my soul that I will kill you." He hissed rapidly to her.

Juno backed off slightly and composed herself, but her guard was up now. Edward eased up slightly as well and threw me a glance, he was so angry that his voice shook slightly, "Bella, please go sit down," he said through his clenched teeth. I listened to him this time.

"Quite the little bodyguard you have there." Juno said coldly as she settled back into her chair, adjusting her scrub top.

"We want no quarrel with you." Edward said sternly.

"I disagree, I think Miss Swan does."

"Bella is very, protective of those she loves." He explained as he started to relax a little.

"She must really love you then, if that were another of our kind she could have gotten herself killed." She said glaring at me.

"There are very few things that Bella is afraid of, I've come to realize." He explained.

"Is she the reason that you are trying to go through with something like this?" Juno asked smoothing her hair.

"She is the only reason for anything that I do." He said calmly.

"I can't help you Edward. I don't know where you came up with such a notion that I could." She said in an uninterested tone.

"Alice." I interrupted, "Alice saw it, she saw him becoming human."

Juno looked at Edward with question, "How could she know?"

"Alice has visions, subjective visions of what may be coming," he described. "One night, the three of us were sitting around and she had a vision of me becoming human somehow. She didn't know how it was possible or when or who, so we filled in the rest for ourselves. She and I, we spoke with our father, Carlisle…"

"Your father?" she asked, confused

"Carlisle is my adopted father."

"Did he create you?"

"Yes, he created me and my sister Rosalie and my mother, Esme. Alice and her partner Jasper joined our family and Rosalie created her partner, Emmet. Carlisle adopted all of us."

"You have a family." Juno stated hoarsely.

"Yes. We also have another side of our family, we call them our cousins, they live in Alaska, I spoke to them as well and found out about you."

"Eleazar," she stated.

"Yes, do you know him?"

"No, but I know of him, he is friendly with my tri," she hesitated, "the Eskimo tribes in Alaska. They told of a being that required human blood to live, but turned to animals instead. He is greatly respected for that, I adapted my way of life so that I could do the same."

"My family and I practice the same code." He said softly. All tension between them had dissipated and now they were trying to gain a better understanding of one another. "Alice and I pieced all of the information from Eleazar and Carlisle together along with the legends of the Eskimos and came up with our theory. Please understand that I did not come here to seek you out or put you in an awkward position. I had no idea that you were here, but the first day that I met you, I heard your thoughts and I found out who you were."

"You can hear my thoughts?" She asked, her guard had completely dropped now and she was dumbfounded.

"I can hear everyone's thoughts, apart from Bella's."

"This is very interesting, but how, may I ask does Miss Swan play into all of this?" I scowled at her.

"It doesn't matter where she came from, I love her." He said very seriously.

"Why don't you just turn her into one of us? It sounds like that is what the rest of your family has done."

I saw a flash of anger cross his face for a moment, "I want more for her. She doesn't deserve me, not, like this." He gestured at himself in disgust.

"And how do you feel about all of this, Mis…" she stopped and rubbed her forehead wearily, "Bella."

"I want whatever makes Edward happy." I said honestly.

Juno's face grew very sad as she watched Edward and I exchange glances. "I've never seen anything like this, except once and it ended very badly." She shook her head. "I can't help you."

"I won't ask you again." Edward said politely, standing to leave.

"Patience," I said, she threw a surprised look at me, she didn't expect me to call her by her first name. "Please, please consider this, if you can't do it, we won't trouble you any longer, but please, just take one night and consider it." I pleaded, "you have a very long lifetime ahead of you, I don't think one night would be significant to you, but it would be to us, to Edward, please, he's too good, he's too…" tears stood in my eyes, a look of pain crossed his face as he watched me, "if you only knew what he has done for me, for my family, he's…" I looked at him helplessly, I couldn't go on.

Edward was by my side instantly, "Bella, it's alright." He murmured, slipping his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek, "let's just go."

We turned to walk out, when Juno spoke, "wait," her voice struggled a little, like she would choke, "I can't promise you anything, but I will take the night to consider your request, but please don't get your hopes up."

"Thank you." Edward said quietly, she nodded at him and we left.

I marched down the hallway, I was angry again; I forcefully wiped the tears out of my eyes with my fist. Edward was close behind, we cut through an empty exam room and went to the car. I shut the door and pulled the sleeves of my shirt over my hands, made a fist and pressed it against my chin. The tears I was trying to fight back stung my eyes. I waited for Edward to start the car.

He sat with his hands resting on the wheel for a moment. I watched him as his mouth slowly curved into a smirk of disbelief. He turned and looked at me in astonishment. "You didn't have to do that."

"I had to try." I answered quietly, staring out the window, as it started to rain.

"You never cease to amaze me."

"That could hardly be called amazing." I said miserably, I didn't see what the big deal was, it's not like my plea had accomplished anything anyways.

"You really shouldn't be doing that you know."

"Doing what?" I asked completely confused.

"Throwing yourself under the knife like that for me." He said, his astonishment beginning to turn into amusement.

"Just call me 'lambchop'," I said sarcastically.

"Isabella Swan, sacrificial lamb for the vampires," he teased. I smiled at his feeble attempt at humor. He leaned in toward me and kissed me deeply on the lips, staying there for only a moment. Something was going to happen, I could feel it, something was going to happen to us that would change our lives forever. I felt like we were being tested, it was one thing to have supernatural catastrophe like James and the Volturi occurring around us. Most couples can deal with bizarre stuff like that and it shows no reflection of who they truly are, but when everyday things happen; a sick pet, a family member in need, something as simple as standing up for one another, that's when your bond is truly tested. I felt like these were all tests for us, and so far we were passing every one of them.


	18. Chapter 18 Terms and Conditions

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 18**

**Terms and Conditions**

I was asleep in my bed at Charlie's, Edward was lying on top of the covers beside me not sleeping, with Topaz on his chest. The sound of his cell phone ringing woke me up. I looked at the bedside stand, through my bleary eyes I could see that it was six o'clock in the morning.

"Hello?" he answered smoothly. I couldn't hear the voice on the other end of the phone, and even if I could, I was too sleepy to be able to decipher anything. "Yes, I think that can be arranged, what time?" He looked over at me in my woozy state and smiled a little, "that may be a little early for Bella, is ten o'clock alright? Perfect, thank you." He closed the phone and placed it back in his pocket.

"What, who was that?" I mumbled

"Nothing you need to worry about now love, go back to sleep, I'll get you up in a few hours."

I looked at him, perplexed, and then shrugged my shoulders and fell back asleep. Right around nine o'clock, Edward woke me up. He had left and changed his clothes and come back. He sat down beside me, eyes sparkling brilliantly and his full lips curved into a perfect smile. I could smell his rich scent radiating off of his clothes; it invigorated me, what a perfect way to wake up in the morning.

"We have to go see Juno this morning."

I sat up quickly, "Is something wrong with Topaz?"

"No, he's fine, she wants to speak to you and me."

"Was that her who called this morning?" I asked, vaguely remembering.

"It was."

"You could have woken me up you know, I don't mind."

"Bella, we only have a few days left of break, you might as well be able to enjoy some of it before we have to go back." He had a point; I hadn't been able to sleep in the entire time we had been in Forks.

"Thanks." I said gratefully.

"We have to be there for ten."

"Right." I crawled out of bed and made my way down the hallway to get dressed.

When we arrived at the clinic, Juno was in her office, the front desk sent us right in. I didn't see Alice anywhere, so I assumed she was working the night shift. We entered the office and Alice was sitting there with Juno, sporting a pair of pink scrubs with a black and white striped long sleeved shirt underneath. She looked like a Tim Burton character.

"Good morning Edward, Bella, please sit down." Juno said in a fairly pleasant tone. We sat down in the two seats in front of her.

"What is all this about?" Edward asked politely.

"I want to talk to you about our discussion last night, about your request." Alice moved from the back of the office to Edward's chair, balancing herself gracefully on the arm. He absentmindedly put his arm around her tiny waist.

"I have healed many things in my lifetime, using the skills I have acquired through schooling and watching others and also using this innate ability I have been given. But, healing one of our kind, I have only done that once and it nearly killed me, which is why I am what I am now." A somber look came over her, "I knew a man once, a man I cared about very much but could not be with for very obvious reasons, the same reasons the two of you should not be together." She gestured toward Edward and I and he immediately stiffened in his chair. "In any case," she continued "I tried to change him back into a human, and in doing so, nearly ended my own life. The transformation did not take, and as I lay there, dying, he was so overcome with guilt that he changed me instead. When my transformation into this life was complete, I tried a second time to help him, my powers being at their peak as they often are with newborns. The second time I tried, it did work, however, when my part was complete, he left me, leaving me to suffer in this everlasting life without my partner. I haven't seen him since."

"A woman scorned…" Alice whispered underneath her breath.

"Alice, that's enough." Edward snapped. "I am very sorry for your loss, we did not mean to cause you any strife in asking."

She held up a hand, "No, your sister is right, I'm very bitter about what has happened to me in the past; however, just because I chose my mate poorly, it doesn't mean that the two of you are making the same mistake. However, just because it worked once before I cannot make any guarantee that I will be able to do it again. Like I said, newborn vampires are able to harness an astounding amount of power for a very short time, and that may be the only reason it worked in the first place. I don't know if I'll be able to replicate it. I would like to try, but I'm warning you that it is solely experimental and I don't know what the outcome will bring." She cautioned, her dark eyes grim.

"What do you need us to do?" Edward asked.

"I'm going to need Alice with me, to use her vision to see how things are going, if there is any danger, I'm hoping that she will be able to warn me before I cause you any harm." I felt my stomach churn at the indication that Edward could possibly get harmed during this whole process.

Alice nodded, "I can do that."

"I need you, Edward, to not feed for as long as your body will allow prior to the transformation. I feel as if the weaker you are, the easier it will be and the smoother the transition will be."

An uneasy, worried look became very pronounced in all of Edward's perfect features; he was silent for a moment as he considered this, then asked, "how long?"

"How long can you go without before it starts to take a toll on you?" she asked.

"Define, 'toll'," Edward ordered calmly.

"Until you start to feel weaker, less controlled, ill even…" Juno described carefully.

"About a week," he informed.

"Double that." She commanded.

"Two weeks?" I whispered in disbelief. I glanced over at Alice, she was trying to remain indifferent, but I could tell she was concerned. I saw her crossed leg start to twitch slightly and saw her touch her hand to her throat. "You want him to starve himself for two weeks?" I said in an alarmed tone as I turned my focus back to Juno.

"I know it's alarming Bella, but I really believe it would make things easier for me and him." Juno said gently.

"Bella, it will be fine," Edward said confidently.

I stared at him, incredulous; this was getting worse by the second, what kind of effect would going without hunting for two weeks have on him? He stared back at me, his face was smooth and confident and reassuring, but his eyes were pleading with me to go along with this. "What do you need me to do?" I asked, resting my cheek against my hand on the arm of the chair, defeated.

Juno, Edward and Alice all exchanged concerned glances, "Bella, I need you to separate from him during his fast." Juno said delicately, as if she thought her words would injure me in some way.

"No! No way, that's out of the question." I said standing up.

"Bella please, it won't be safe for you to be around me when I'm…like that," Edward pleaded, "you don't know how difficult it will be not to…" He couldn't finish.

"I don't care Edward, I'm not leaving you."

Alice rose from the arm of the chair and put her arm around me, "Bella, please listen, it will not be safe for you, and if anything happens, all of this will be for a lost cause. We'll take care of Edward, you have nothing to worry about but if you stay around, I'm sorry, but I really can't guarantee your safety from, him." She looked over apologetically at her brother; Edward; revered in his family for his control and humanity, he looked like he was going to get sick.

"So it's true, I will hurt her." He said solemnly.

"I don't see it happening, but, considering the circumstances, it's too risky." Alice whispered. "Your body is going to be stressed to the max Edward, you already have a hard time around Bella when you're thirsty, it'd be like ringing a dinner bell having her around, especially during the last few days." Edward cringed at the crudeness of her statement.

"Bella this is very important." Juno said sternly.

"Okay," I said, defeated once again, "Okay, I'll keep my distance. I'll do whatever you need me to do to make this easier." I agreed, looking only at him. Everyone seemed complacent after I made that statement, everyone but Edward. He looked miserable, horrified by the reality of the situation that he wasn't always in control of himself, his worst fear was true.

"When is all of this going to start happening?" I asked, trying to change the subject so I didn't have to look at Edward's disturbed expression any longer.

Alice and Juno looked at Edward in anticipation, waiting for his answer, he had a distracted look about him, "Oh," he said shakily, "Bella and I have a month or so off around Christmas. I suppose that would be the most logical time."

Christmas, that was less than a month away, we had been talking about this happening for months and now it seemed to be happening too quickly.

"That is a very good idea." Juno said seriously, "you'll have enough time to 'adapt' before returning back to your studies." It seemed to be becoming easier and easier for Juno to fathom this idea, which eased my mind a bit. Gone was the acidic tone and bitter outlook from last night, today, she was back to exuding confidence, I was actually starting to believe that this might have a chance of working. It was ironic though, when Edward and I decided to go to school in Alaska it was so that I could get away from home and have time to 'adapt' in case I was the one going through the life altering changes, not the other way around. It would be better this way, better for both of us.

"I will be expecting you on December 26th, which means you need to get your affairs in order by December 12th." She ordered.

"Understood." He agreed.

"I have to get into surgery," Juno said glancing at her watch, "I'm sorry to cut things short."

"It's perfectly alright, we understand." Edward said politely.

He stood up from his seat and she reached out and took his hand in both of hers, she locked her dark eyes onto his and said, "I want you to know, that I am going to try my best to help you."

"That's all we ask," He said smiling comfortably at her, "I want to thank you, you don't know what this means to me."

"I think I do." She said with a warm, sad smile.

The dye had been cast, the date and place set, all that needed to be done now was for Edward, Alice and I to fall into our consecutive roles. The three of us drove in silence; Alice was working a split shift so she came along with us. A feeling of finality hung thick in the air of the luxury sedan but it was not an uncomfortable feeling, it actually felt strangely soothing. We pulled into the Cullen's garage, everyone appeared to be home.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's time to tell Carlisle." Edward said nervously. Well, almost everything had been done I thought to myself.

I felt like we were about to announce something like we were eloping or I was pregnant, something that was happy in nature, but that nobody would be ready to hear. I didn't know why I was feeling so nervous, it really had nothing to do with me, I was just there for moral support, it was Edward's decision.

We entered the house and Alice disappeared, I suspected to look for Jasper, maybe to quickly prime him on what was about to happen so that he would be ready to keep everyone calm. I had no idea how they were going to react. Edward didn't seem nervous; everything about his demeanor was cool and poised.

I was surprised when Alice returned not only with Jasper, but Carlisle and Esme as well.

"Edward, Alice says you have something you need to discuss with us." Carlisle said with a touch of alarm in his voice.

"I do, where are Emmett and Rose?"

"They're on their way down." Esme said, "Edward, what's going on?"

Before he could answer, Emmet and Rose were coming down the palatial staircase. Everyone was now present. I sat down on the couch, Jasper and Esme joining me, Emmett took a seat on one of the steps of the staircase; Rosalie leaned over the banister crossing her elegant arms over her chest. Carlisle and Alice remained standing beside Edward.

"What's going on?" asked Rosalie, her tone icy.

Alice piped right up and started the conversation, "in a very short time, something is going to change in our family, I've seen it."

"Something or someone?" Emmett said flashing me a playful look, Rosalie kicked him in the ribs with the toe of her boot.

"Someone, but it's not what you think." Alice continued. She looked over at Edward, as if asking him permission to continue, he nodded at her.

"For the past several months, I have been having very vivid visions of Edward, as a human."

"Alice, could it be his memories of when he was alive, that you are seeing?" Jasper asked in a slightly patronizing tone.

Alice gave him a sharp look, and narrowed her eyes at him, "No, Jazz, I would know the difference, and besides, he's with Bella in most of the visions."

"How can you tell that he's human Alice?" Carlisle inquired thoughtfully.

"Because, I can just tell, he looks different, he's warm, he's got a heartbeat, he's eating and sleeping and doing other human things." My mind wandered as I wondered what she meant by those last four words.

"But how is that possible?" Esme interrupted, silence came over the room and Edward opened his mouth to speak, but was promptly cut off.

"It's not Esme," Rosalie burst out angrily, "How could it be? He's dead, just like the rest of us, there's nothing out there that exists that can reverse that. It's impossible, Alice is somehow getting her signals crossed, she's finally losing her mind." She spat cruelly.

Alice's eyes dropped to the floor, she suddenly looked very small and fragile, "I'm not losing my mind." She whispered, Jasper threw a loathsome look Rosalie's way.

"Take it easy Rose," Emmett said in Alice's defense.

"Esme brings up a very good question," Carlisle said congenially, "How is such a transformation possible?" He looked at Edward with curiosity.

"Edward and I…" Alice started,

Carlisle gently raised a hand to silence her, "this vision affects Edward; he must be allowed to speak please Alice."

And the floor was his, all six pairs of golden eyes turned to him, all reflecting a different emotion. "It may be possible," Edward started, "I don't understand how myself. There is an individual who was born many years ago into a tribe of people who believe in a legend about a healer that can repair any living thing with an intact soul. Granted this was just a story, I spoke with Eleazar and he claims it to be true, that this healer exists. There are other points to the story, but the long and short of it is that we have found her and she is going to try to help me."

"There's only one problem with that theory Edward," Rosalie hissed, "You don't believe you have a soul. That could pose a difficulty for you."

If looks could kill, Rosalie would have dropped dead from the stare Edward gave her.

"Rosalie, please" Carlisle interjected sternly, "that's enough."

She returned the glare that Edward gave her; looking like she was going to crouch down into a defensive position. "Come down here and say that to me again Rosalie." Edward growled, beckoning her with his hand. To my surprise, she started down the steps. I had seen Edward fight with his brothers, but never with his sisters. She deserved whatever she got from him.

"Now hold on," Emmett stood in front of her, "what the fuck is your problem Rose?" He boomed at her, she stopped in her tracks. "He's our brother and you're trying to start a fight with him, because he's being given a second chance? Honestly Rose, you can be a real bitch sometimes."

"You want to know why I'm starting a fight with him?" Rosalie exploded, "Because he's selfish Emmet! He's selfish, we bend over backwards to help him and Bella and he still does whatever he wants, whatever is best for him and her, not what's best for the rest of his family. And now, he's really done it, he's going to become _human_ for her?" She seethed, pointing in my direction. I felt Jasper put a hand on my knee as my cheeks flushed. "It's a complete betrayal!" Rosalie continued, "What happens if the Volturi find out about his charade? He's already on thin ice with them, he's going to get us all killed Emmett, I'm not going to die for the two of them, I'm sure they wouldn't do it for us."

"You're wrong." Edward said, his voice cracking a little. He started toward the staircase, Emmett stood in front of Rosalie protectively. "Stop it Emmet, I'm not going to touch her." He said disgustedly, "you're the only one who would do that." Rosalie sucked in her cheeks and made fists at her sides when she heard that. Emmett moved to the side of her, still on guard. "Is that what you truly think of me?" Edward asked her accusingly, "you think that I'm selfish and disloyal? You know for a fact Rose, that if you were ever given a chance to go back to your old life you would take it in a minute, leaving Emmett and the rest of us behind in your wake." He continued, his voice rising angrily.

"I would never leave Emmet, no matter what was going on in my life." Her voice was hurt and trembling.

"But you would leave us, so you and Emmett could have a better life." Edward said his voice becoming more even, Emmett relaxed his posture. Finally Rosalie was speechless.

"I'd follow you anywhere Rose." Emmett said quietly to her.

"And Jasper and Alice would do the same, Bella has done the same for me, she has hurt her family time and time again to keep this family safe, and to keep her and me together. I have the chance to finally do right by her, to have a normal life with her. Any one of us would do the same for our partner." Silence resounded over the entire Cullen household as Edward's words hung in the air.

"Edward is right." Carlisle spoke up, "It's different for Esme and I because you are our children, a parent could never leave their children, but a parent raises a child to eventually leave them and find their own path. That is what we expect all of you to do. Edward needs to do right by Bella, and if this is how he feels he can, we must support him."

"Edward," Jasper broke the silence, "what do you require of us?"

"Nothing, I just want everyone's patience and understanding."

Rosalie said nothing; she just turned and headed upstairs away from everyone.

"Well, I'm sure you have Rose's understanding, but definitely not her patience." Emmett joked, trying to lighten the moment.

"You're an ass." Edward snapped at him.

"And you're going to be a weak obnoxious human." Emmet snapped back, "Sorry Bella, that wasn't directed toward you."

"No problem." I replied, feeling the tension in the room let up a little now that Rose was gone.

Emmett and Edward descended the stairs and joined the rest of us in the living room.

"When is all of this going to occur?" Esme asked sadly.

"Christmas." He answered in a serious tone.

"So soon." She gasped.

"Tell them the terms and conditions." I suggested.

"Bella and I are going to need to be separated for awhile," he explained to Carlisle and Esme.

"Why is that?" Carlisle asked, his perfect eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"I need to stop feeding two weeks prior."

Concern now plagued Carlisle's face, he touched the back of his neck and ran his long fingers through his beautiful blond hair; two nervous habits that Edward had adopted from him. "That is going to be a very difficult time for you." He said giving Edward a sympathetic gaze. "It _would_ be best that the two of you are separated, it will be very dangerous for you to be near him Bella." Carlisle warned, turning his focus to me.

"I figured as much." Edward said miserably, his fear was creeping up on him.

"I wish I could better prepare you for the hardship you will face…" Carlisle said in a very fatherly tone, "Fasting is not particularly pleasant." Carlisle would know because he had done it before, shortly after he had become a vampire.

Edward held a hand up to stop him, "I would rather not hear about it, I think it will be easier for me if I just take it as it comes, rather than anticipate what is going to happen."

"As you wish."

"Edward, what about your exams and your schooling?" Esme asked.

"I don't know what to do about that yet." He replied.

"What if you offered to take them early?" Jasper suggested. "If you went to your professors and told them that you had to fly out two weeks prior to break for something, surgery perhaps, maybe they'd cut you a break and let you take your exams."

"And then, you could just fly out here." I added, "I could catch my flight when I finish my exams. We would be separated, there would be no danger involved, and your grades wouldn't be affected. You could 'dry out' here and I'd be at Charlie's."

Emmett laughed, "Dry out. Makes it sound like you're some kind of junkie going through withdrawals."

"You're not too far off, Emmett." Jasper muttered. I saw a look of dread come over Edward's face. I couldn't imagine what this was going to be like for him, but he would make it through alright, after all, he was Edward. To me, he was indestructible.

"Then it's settled," Edward said trying to end the conversation before he heard anything else that might disturb him.

Esme got off the couch and walked over to him and embraced him, she was so emotional, "all we want is for you to be happy Edward. We'll always be your family, no matter whom or what you are. I hope you know that." She kissed him softly on his cheek, it seemed like the reassurance he needed. A look of peace that I hadn't seen in many weeks came over his expression as he gratefully hugged her back.

We left for Alaska a few days later, Charlie was doing much better and going to work every day, Topaz was on the mend, Rosalie and Edward hadn't quite made up, but they were civil to one another, and Jacob was off with the pack again. I worried about him, he had been missing a lot of school and spent a lot of time away from Billy, I wondered if there was something going on that was more serious than he had led me to believe. I couldn't worry about that though; there was too much going on now.

When we got home everything was as we had left it on that frantic night that seemed like it happened years ago. I walked into the bedroom and threw my bag on the floor. I walked to the closet to grab a change of clothes and turned back to head toward the bathroom when I stopped in my tracks. We hadn't made the bed before we left; it looked like a murder had taken place in it. The sheets were tightly twisted into distorted ropes that had bound me, the comforter was strewn everywhere and the fitted sheet was coming off the mattress. I remembered the nightmare I had been having that night before I woke up, I shuddered at the thought of it, it felt like the horror of it still lingered in the bedroom, like some kind of dreadful presence.

Edward suddenly appeared in the doorway, "what are you doing love?" He asked innocently.

I turned around, still distracted by the mess I had left and looked at him; he was holding the door casing and leaning forward with complete ease. "Oh, nothing, I was going to take a shower, can you help me make the bed?"

"Of course." He stopped fooling around in the doorway and glided into the room, his pale hands started untangling the ropey sheets. He furrowed his brow in confusion, "that must have been some dream you had." He continued without looking up.

So he remembered, he remembered the state I was in that night. "Yeah, it was pretty awful." The sheet looked like a sheet again, I tucked the fitted one back over the thick mattress before helping him pull down the top sheet.

"Anything you want to talk about?" He asked casually, not taking his eyes off his work, pulling down the comforter.

"I dreamt you died." I said quietly.

His hands stopped, and he raised his eyes up to me in a serious glance, then he quickly dropped them down again, "It was just a dream Bella."

"Yeah I suppose." I said dismissively. The bed was made, no evidence of that awful night remained. "Thanks for your help, I'm going to go take a shower now."

I sat at the huge drafting table in the den, a mixed CD softly playing in the background. I was making a futile attempt to organize my chemistry notes into flashcards for our final exam coming up in three weeks. Chemistry one was a lot more difficult on the college level then on the high school level I thought miserably. I could use all the help I could get on passing this test, might as well start preparing for it early. I was hoping that my perfect attendance and handing in all of my work complete and on time would give me some flexibility with my chem grade this semester because my exam grades were in the low Cs. All my other classes I was excelling in, except for Chemistry one. I might actually have to ask for Edward's help on this one, which I tried to avoid at all costs. I let out an aggravated sigh and pressed on, determined to get a B on this exam come hell or high water.

I heard the garage door open and shut and the familiar engine rev of the Volvo. Edward was home, any minute now he would open the door, hang his keys and jacket up by the door and saunter in, kiss me on my forehead and say 'hello love' with his crooked smile. I smiled and set down my pen and waited in anticipation. Sure enough, he walked in, hung up his things and appeared by my side.

"Hello love." He said kissing my forehead.

"Hello." I said smiling. "How was school?"

"Just fine," he said setting his messenger bag down on the drafting table opposite me. "I'm ready for this semester to be over. Winter session into spring we actually get to start using the kitchen for our culinary classes. I can't stand being stuck in a classroom for eight hours."

"Me neither." I agreed.

"I spoke to my professors today; they're allowing me to take my exams next week."

"What did you tell them?" I asked.

"I told them that I had to return home, my sister is very sick and needs surgery. I'm giving her a kidney." He explained in his most persuasive and believable tone, making his eyes big and innocent.

I started laughing, "That's quite a story. Do you think that they actually believe you?"

"I think most of them do." He chuckled musically, "besides, I'm not using it to get out of a test; I'm using it to take a test earlier, so why should they care really?"

"This is true." I agreed, "Which sister of yours is sick and dying?"

"Rosalie." He said with a smirk.

"Have you made your flight arrangements?" I asked in a more serious tone.

"I have." He said solemnly. "I'm leaving on the 14th, I'll stop hunting by the 12th."

"Is that going to be…okay for you to do?" I asked carefully.

"I think so. I'll be able to be focused for my exams and the trip but I won't be starving. My last exam is on the 13th, I'll even be fine at home for a few days. It's going to start getting very difficult around the 18th or 19th I think."

"Then why can't you stay here until then and just wait out that last week with Carlisle and Esme?" I said in a more desperate tone than I had intended.

He dropped down into a squat beside my chair and touched my face lightly. My heart beat faster, I felt like I hadn't been like this with him for so long, I had spent so much time sleeping, and worrying about Charlie and Topaz that I hadn't had too much one on one with the person I craved most.

He gently rubbed my cheek bone with his thumb and looked at me serenely. "Bella, you know why I can't stay." He whispered.

"But you've been like that around me before, why does it have to be any different now?"

"It just has to be, there have been times where I have gotten close to you after it's been a few days, and I've felt this surge, this need…then it's easy, I can just leave while you're sleeping or showering and go hunt and everything becomes easier. But, if I get any of those feelings now, during this time, I _can't_ just go out and do what I need to do. That restriction is going to pose a danger to you. It will just be better if I'm not around at all."

I sighed, and nodded sadly, "Fine."

"Please try to be understanding about this Bella, I need your support more than I've ever needed it before. Please, this is very important. It will all be over soon and then you can have me any way you like me."

I placed my hand over his on my face and closed my eyes, taking in the coolness that radiated off his skin, it brought me comfort. I brought his hand to my lips and kissed the top of it and then clasped it in both of mine. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. You can have whatever you want from me."

December 14th came sooner than I hoped. Edward would be leaving in a few hours and I wouldn't be able to see him again until after the change had occurred. My nerves were shot that morning as I paced around the kitchen waiting for him to get ready. I got no sleep the night before; I didn't want to miss any time with him. We had gone to bed and he wanted me to sleep but I couldn't. I insisted upon staying up and him holding me and kissing me and talking to me for hours. At one point, I even threw the covers off of me and molded my body against him to take in all the iciness of his granite body. That didn't last long though because I started shivering uncontrollably and became covered in goose bumps. I said that I didn't care, but he didn't listen and wrapped me back up in the warm comforter. He had hummed my lullaby to me and told me about the first time he saw me. I tried to engrain everything about him in my mind. His flyaway bronzed spiky hair, his beautiful piercing amber eyes, the strength and tone of his muscular body, the sound of his thick, melodic voice, his pale skin that practically glowed in the moonlight, and the sweet, intoxicating scent of his clothes, his breath. I loved everything about him, every part of him, every expression and thought he shared with me. I tried to remember all of it, I didn't know what would be left of him when I saw him again and I was afraid.

I downed yet another cup of coffee, if I kept this up my whole body would be shaken apart by nine o'clock, I had to calm myself down and be supportive. I couldn't let him see that I felt like my world was falling apart.

He appeared in the kitchen carrying his bag, I hadn't had quite enough time to compose myself as thoroughly as I would have liked to.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked skeptically.

"I'm fine, I'm just really tired."

"I told you that you should have gotten some sleep last night. Are you going to be alright to drive home?"

"Of course I will, I'm fine, really. I promise, as soon as I get home I'll go back to bed, I don't have class today." I said assuredly, it seemed to work.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Ready when you are." I said cheerfully. I set down my mug on the counter and put my jacket on and grabbed my purse.

I stayed at the airport with him until the last possible second. There were no seats in the terminal, so we sat on the floor together, I was coming off my caffeine high and I lay quietly with my head against his thigh. He just sat running his hands through my hair contently. I think he actually braided it at one point. I loved him so much. When the announcement was made for him to board, I felt my throat tighten. We stood up and he enveloped me in his arms. He squeezed me so hard it almost hurt; he buried his face in my hair, taking in my scent that meant so much to him.

"We'll be together again soon." He whispered, almost tearfully.

"I know." I choked.

"I love you more than anything Bella." He said, kissing my head a hundred times.

"I love you too."

He stood back, his hands resting on my arms and stared at me, as if he were trying to remember every part of me. He leaned forward and kissed me long and soft on my lips, I wrapped my arms around his cool neck. The last announcement to board flight 907 to Seattle barked out around us. His kiss went deeper and then suddenly ended, "Hopefully that will last me two weeks." He said softly, smiling at me now.

I smiled back at him, "I'll see you on the other side."

He kissed his two fingers and placed them on my cheek and let them fall slowly along my jaw. "I'll see you soon love." With that he turned and sauntered toward the gate. He was the last one to board, the stewardess looked annoyed, and shut the door behind him and with that, Edward Cullen was out of my life for the next two long weeks.


	19. Chapter 19 Withdrawal

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**Love, love, love the next few chapters because I got to switch it up a bit and lapse into Edward's perspective. Hope you enjoy them, thanks for all of the support.**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 19**

**Withdrawal**

I didn't want to leave her, but I had no choice, there was no guarantee that I could keep her safe from me during this time. The thought of it made my stomach turn, that I could actually pose a threat the person that meant the most to me. I hoped she wasn't upset with me, that she understood why it had to be this way, but deep down I knew that she did.

Thirst hadn't hit me yet, I knew that it wouldn't, not for a few more days at least. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I had no conception of what may be coming. I was still a little disturbed by Emmett's comment comparing me to a junkie, but I was even more disturbed that Jasper had told him he wasn't that far off. I had read about and seen a dozen movies about withdrawal; the sweating, the vomiting, the hallucinations, the tremors, I didn't understand how that could apply to me because I didn't eat, I couldn't sweat, and the only times my hands would shake would be when I was very angry. How could it be that bad?

I arrived in Seattle late afternoon, Carlisle waited at the airport to pick me up. He had come alone, which was surprising.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he threw my bag into his car.

"Fine I guess."

"How is Bella?"

"She's upset, but handling it. She wouldn't sleep last night, she wanted to stay up with me all night holding her and talking with her."

"She's worried you're going to change." Carlisle said laughing softly.

"Do you really think that's what that was all about?" I asked suddenly feeling very guilty.

"I think so. She was probably trying to spend as much time with you as possible before you left. She's very worried Edward."

"I know she is, but this is for the best."

"Just because she's worried, it doesn't mean she doesn't want this as much as you do."

"I'm not so sure about that. She was very determined on becoming one of us."

"Edward, all she wants is to be with you until the end of your lives, whatever time span that may be. It doesn't matter what form it comes in." He said in a fatherly tone.

"I'd like to believe that." I said solemnly.

"Then believe it and have confidence in your decision."

He was right, I was ashamed to think that of Bella, she was happy as long as I was, I knew that. We pulled into the familiar driveway and entered the garage, I would be happy to see my family, at least for the first few days I could be at ease and enjoy their company as I always had. However as time pressed on I would probably spend more and more time in my room away from everyone, I figured I probably wasn't going to be very pleasant to be around the few days leading up to my meeting with Dr. Juno.

Esme was the first to greet me, embracing me and showering my face with kisses as any mother welcoming her son home from school would. "Hello son," she purred.

"Hello," I said picking her up and hugging her back, her laugh tinkled all over the house.

"Put me down," She ordered between laughs. I obeyed and gazed at her, she touched my face and smiled sadly, "how are you feeling Edward?"

"I feel fine."

"Good, I'm glad." She said.

"Where are the others?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Alice is working, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie are out, they should be back by this evening." Carlisle informed.

"Good." Having my siblings around, at least my brothers, would be a welcome distraction for me, just as long as they didn't ask me to go hunting with them. "I'm going upstairs to unpack." As I approached the staircase I thought I saw Carlisle and Esme share some kind of secret glance at one another. I wondered what that was about. I trudged down the hallway, suddenly feeling very tired and opened my bedroom door. Everything was as I had left it with the exception of one thing, now in place of my leather couch was a king sized pewter colored rod iron bed, similar to the one I had in Alaska. It was made up with a brown, turquoise, and gold comforter and about three dozen throw pillows. Now I knew what that look was about. No matter, I had grown used to having a bed in the bedroom as opposed to a couch and I actually enjoyed it now. I let my bag drop to the floor with a noisy thud, very uncharacteristic of me, making noise; I climbed into the enormous bed and crawled to the middle. I lay down on my back and shut my eyes.

I wondered what Bella was doing. I missed her already, knowing that I couldn't see her now. I was used to being apart from her, but I knew I could always see her when I wanted. But now, the fact that I wanted to see her and I couldn't, that really bothered me. I missed talking to her, well, there was no reason why I couldn't just _talk_ to her now was there? She was in another state; I could call her if I wanted to, right? Maybe I should call her, just for a second, to let her know that I had arrived alright, it would put her mind at ease.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone and pressed one, speed dial. The phone rang once, twice, do I hear three? No, she picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" She answered; I thought my chest would burst with joy.

"Hello Love," I said as calmly as I could muster.

"Edward!" She sounded excited to hear me, "did you get home okay?"

"That's why I'm calling."

"How was your flight?"

"Long and boring."

"I bet."

"What are you doing?" I asked, interested.

"Not much, just studying for this stupid chem final. I just can't get these periodic equations down."

"I told you I could help you with that."

"I know, but it'd be better if I figured them out on my own. Besides, I can't study with you, you're too distracting." I rolled my eyes; she hated it when I tried to teach her anything. She thought I was condescending and arrogant, I begged to differ.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Interestingly enough, I'm in my room, lying on my new bed."

"You're in town for less than a day and you're out buying furniture?" She asked dryly.

"No, it was here when I arrived. I think Esme had something to do with it. It's quite comfortable, you should come by and try it out some time." Whoops. I shouldn't have said that.

"I'm sure I'll be able to soon enough." She said seriously. Thank God one of us was being responsible here.

"Soooo…" she started, "What are you wearing?" She asked playfully. I could feel a wide grin cross my face.

"Use your imagination," I flirted back. This was a lot easier to do over the phone than in person I thought.

She started giggling, "you don't want to know what my mind's capable of coming up with."

"Try me." I needed to stop this.

She sighed on the phone, "I miss you Edward."

"I miss you too love, but I'll see you soon, you need to study." An empty feeling started coming over me as I realized our conversation was about to end, I had to lighten the moment and end this phone call on a happy note. "You know, since you don't have me around to tutor you." I teased.

"Pompous ass." She grumbled on the other end.

"Love you."

"I love you too."

I snapped my phone shut, okay, so calling her was a bad idea because now I wanted to see her even more. Her voice remained in my head, it had only been a few hours and already I was lost without her. This was sick.

I decided that I wouldn't speak to her again until I saw her on the 26th. At least I hoped I could see her on the 26th, because I had no idea how long I would be out for after the transformation. What if I was in a coma? What if it took months for me to come back to the world? I didn't want to spend all of that time in limbo without seeing her face beforehand.

Was this a mistake? Was it really that horrible being what I was? Was it really that unreasonable to consider turning Bella into one of us rather than the other way around? Yes, it was, she deserved better, and slowly, I was beginning to believe that I did too. I deserved a second chance now that Bella was in the picture. I could be a good husband, a good father, I could hold down a job and a house, I knew we could live comfortably, I could protect her and my family without supernatural powers. I could be the man that she deserved. The man that I was supposed to be, I could do it. I did deserve this, Carlisle was right; I needed to have confidence in my decision.

I should have spent the day with my family, feeling as well as I did, there would only be a few more days where I would actually be pleasant to be around. But instead, I stayed in hulled up in my room, listening to the rain and thinking. I needed to mentally prepare for the days ahead and the life that I was blatantly throwing myself into. I really hadn't had time to truly focus on what was going to happen. I was always distracted by what was happening around me, Bella's concern, Charlie, Topaz, school, flying back and forth to Forks, now was my time, to quietly organize my thoughts and concerns, and fall apart if I needed to.

Then I decided there would be plenty of time to think, and not as much time to _do_. I got out of bed and approached the glass window on the eastern wall of my bedroom, I opened it and leapt out into the cool evening and ran. I ran through the woods, hopping over stones, and broken trees, I dodged thick viney roots and splashed through puddles. It was exhilarating. I jumped across the river that cut through our property easily and landed in a crouch. I took a deep breath and took in the smell of the rain and leaves. It was freezing outside but it didn't bother me. I took my long sleeved shirt off, remaining in just a t-shirt and let the rain that was slowly turning to sleet pound against my skin. It felt like little electric shockwaves coursing through me. I felt alive. I took off into another run and launched myself into the welcoming branches of a spruce tree. I scaled the top of it in mere seconds, and settled onto one of the limbs and stared out into the night.

It was going to snow, I could smell it, tomorrow morning there would be a thick blanket of it coating the forest. The silence and beauty would be deafening and I would go out again and feel the tranquility of it. The air tonight was crisp and clear, every star was out and shining down. I could see a mist rising from the peaks of the mountains that lingered in the background of the inky scene. I wondered if everything would seem this beautiful to me when I was human again. I hoped it would. I stayed for just a moment more and then let myself fall down and down out of my arboreal sanctuary to the wet floor of the forest that I spent so much time in. I retrieved my shirt from wherever I had thrown it and sprinted back toward the house.

December 19th, day seven without hunting, without blood, without Bella. I kept my promise to myself and did not call her again. It would be too difficult and besides, she would be returning to Forks soon, talking to her would be a recipe for disaster now that she was so close. I could walk to Charlie's if I needed to, that was too close for the way I was beginning to physically feel.

I looked in the bathroom mirror, my irises were black and lifeless, like a doll's, dark circles were starting to form around my eyes, and my cheeks were starting to sink in slightly. I shook my head and went back to my bedroom and shut the door.

Even though I couldn't call her, I would write to Bella occasionally, and she would always write me back. I kept her up to date on the goings on around here, the latest family scandals and would ask her about her classes. But since I really didn't go anywhere these days, I was starting to run out of fresh material. So I would write her song lyrics and tell her how much I missed her. She would always find a song of her own to write the lyrics to, and I would try to teach myself how to play it on the piano in hopes that I would be able to play it for her someday. It was my way of coping with her absence while keeping her close to me.

By day nine, I was really starting to feel uncomfortable, my concentration was shot. I stopped playing the piano, because I was finding that I would get frustrated very easily. My coordination was off as well, I tried to play sports with Emmett and Jasper, but I had trouble keeping up, I fumbled every time I tried to catch something, so I gave that up too. I could tell they were becoming concerned about me. Emmett didn't even try giving me a hard time when I screwed up, he would just say something like, "sorry, that was a bad throw." I knew better and would then take to locking myself in my room.

By day eleven, a new symptom developed, in addition to my concentration being gone, my coordination being off and the irritation that constantly plagued me, my hands were starting to shake.

It was getting closer to Christmas and Alice had the brilliant idea of putting up a tree, this was a tradition we had never embraced, and this was the year she wanted to start. I think it was her feeble attempt to distract me, and I did appreciate that, but I couldn't help thinking that putting up a Christmas tree was something that a family did together and right now a very important part of my family was separated from me. I'm sure Bella would have liked to help decorate a tree.

"Edward, come on, we've got the tree up, come help us," Alice called cheerfully up the stairs. I sighed and begrudgingly headed to the living room.

Everyone was there, rifling through bags and boxes of decorations that Alice and Rosalie had purchased. It looked like we were going for a copper and gold theme with white lights. Time Square stood in the center of the living room.

"Wow, that's um, that's really something." I said rubbing the back of my neck

"Isn't it beautiful?!" Alice chirped, "I can't wait to see what it looks like all lit up. I love the holidays!"

"Are you channeling a Christmas elf or something?" Emmett asked behind a pile of garland, "Why are you making such a big deal about this? We're not even Christian."

"You don't need to be religious to celebrate peace on earth and good will to man." Alice said sticking her tongue out at him.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and made a snorting sound in her throat, "spare us Alice."

Alice pouted and Jasper put his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek, "I think it's a wonderful idea, it'll look beautiful, love."

I never realized that I had picked up my habits with Bella from Jasper of all people; it was like looking in a mirror watching him with her. My throat hurt and my chest ached, I missed her so much.

"Well come on, let's get this show on the road." I said trying to sound cheerful. "What do we do first?"

Alice seemed delighted by my fake enthusiasm and skipped over to my side and hugged me. "I think we need to start with the lights."

We strung what seemed to be thousands of white lights, followed by hundreds of feet of garland, talking and joking around. Alice even put on a Christmas CD, it seemed like her plot to distract me from my ongoing suffering was working, I was actually feeling pretty good, and then it happened. I had minimally participated in the tree decorating up until this point so that I could hide my shaking hands from the others. I felt that I had it under control to a degree, so I went to hang a glass bulb on one of the lower branches, still being cautious not to draw attention to myself. As I got closer to the branch, the hanging of the ornament required more precision, precision which I no longer had. My hand started to shake as I got closer, and then, I dropped it. The bulb hit the floor with a shattering sound and broke into a million pieces.

"Fuck." I growled in frustration. Six pairs of eyes stared at me in surprise. I rarely ever swore and I had just done so very loudly.

"What?! Why is everyone staring at me?!" I shouted defensively.

"You alright man?" Emmett asked innocently.

"I'm fan fucking tastic." There I go with the swearing again.

"Alice, get the broom," Esme ordered quietly. Alice disappeared and returned with a broom and dustpan. She dropped to the floor silently and started frantically sweeping.

"I've got this," I said immediately feeling bad about my outburst. I went over to her and started sweeping, my hands shaking so badly that I couldn't even make a pile out of the shards of sparkling glass.

"Edward, let Alice get it." Carlisle said gently.

"Yeah, I don't mind really." Alice scrambled beside me.

"I said, I've got this." I hissed at her, nearly baring my teeth. What was my problem? I felt a heavy authoritative hand press against my shoulder and I stopped what I was doing.

"Edward, you should take a break, son." I looked up and everyone was staring at me in horror. Carlisle stood over me; he wasn't going to let this go. The entire room was silent aside from the sound of 'God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen' playing lowly in the background. I glared at Carlisle and threw the dustpan and broom across the room roughly.

"Fine." I said, my voice trembling with anger as I stared him down. He stared back at me, now looking a little challenging. I brushed his hand off my shoulder and stormed upstairs. I had never spoken to or treated my father that way in my entire life. I felt like I was truly going mad. I slammed my bedroom door so hard that it cracked through the middle. I put on my stereo and cranked it up and didn't leave my room for the rest of the night.

Everything went downhill from there, as opposed to spending half the day in my room I was now spending entire days up there. I barely spoke to my family; I didn't even bother to apologize to anyone. I figured I'd probably screw up a dozen times more before I was approachable again so I might as well wait until then and then make a big apology to everyone about what a prick I had been.

Today, day twelve, I was starting to sweat, let me rephrase that, I can't sweat, I was leaking. My body had been producing venom on a consistent basis, and now because I hadn't been using it for so long, it had nowhere to go so it was seeping out of my skin. I was soaking wet half the time and freezing. I changed my t-shirt literally, about ten times a day. I had a pile of laundry on my bedroom floor. I figured it can't get any worse than this, and then the vomiting started. That totally blew my mind, a vampire could vomit. But since there was nothing in my system, but the venom, that is what I would vomit, clear, iridescent venom. I knew when it was coming on, my entire body would start to burn and the shaking would become worse. The tremendous upheaval that my insides felt was so intense that I would cry out loud in pain. I knew everyone could hear me. Tearless sobs would erupt from my chest and I prayed for it to be over.

I left all of the lights off in my room because I was also being plagued with migraine headaches that would sometimes bring on hallucinations. Horrible visions of me killing and covering myself in blood. The thirst in me was unbearable, my throat felt like I was swallowing shards of glass and sand. The venom was everywhere, on my skin, in my mouth, coating my esophagus in thick, filmy, bitter residue and I longed for a moment's peace.

It got to the point where I could no longer write to Bella because my handwriting was illegible. I tried to email her once, but had so little energy that I couldn't finish.

It was late afternoon, I had just had a hallucination that Bella was with me and I had killed her. I had torn open her neck and the blood pumping out of her jugular was like a fountain. I hallucinated that I buried my face in it and drank until she was dead. I knew it was a hallucination but started screaming anyways, the sobbing came back and I lay on my bed curled up in a ball, a weak shell of the former man I had once been.

I heard a light knock at my door and didn't bother to answer it. Jasper let himself in and turned on a very dim lamp that sat by my bed.

"Edward?" He said calmly

"What is it?" I asked not looking at him, I had my face tucked into the safety of my venom stained pillow. The sobs that rattled in my chest were slowing now, but were still very present.

"This is almost over," he encouraged softly.

"Thank you captain obvious is that why you're here?" I choked.

"I'm sorry this is so difficult for you, I want you to know that I can sympathize with you, and that I can tell you that it is very much worth it."

I looked up slowly from my pillow at him, his face was kind, serene, and his golden eyes that I had once shared with him looked at me with reverence. "What did you say?"

"I said that what you are going through, I've gone through it too, and you must know that in the end, it will all have been worth it."

"I feel like I want to die." I said miserably.

"I know you do. Just be glad that you don't feed on humans, that would be even more difficult and far worse to overcome."

"This has happened to you before?"

"Of course, when I joined your family. I had to detoxify my body from human blood. You probably didn't notice because I kept to myself. It was excruciating, but I had one advantage that unfortunately you don't have, I had Alice with me."

I tucked my head back into my pillow, great pep talk Jasper, I thought bitterly.

"You know that everyone here loves you and wants to help you Edward, but when you meet someone that makes your life whole again, no one else matters anymore. Your only support system becomes that one person. If Bella was here right now I'm sure this would be a little easier for you."

"I'm sure you're right," I whispered.

"That is why this whole ordeal is worthwhile." Jasper said seriously, "Because she will be at the end of it. Don't ever lose sight of that, don't ever lose sight of her, if you keep her in your thoughts, you'll make it through. No one I've ever met has more control and will than you do Edward. Don't give up just yet, your trial is coming to an end." He laid his hand on my leg, and calm washed over me, I felt momentary relief from the hell I had endured these last few days.

"Thank you Jasper, I'll bear that in mind." I could feel the grinding sensation in the pit of my stomach signaling that I was going to vomit again. I peered out from behind my pillow to see if Jasper was still there, to my relief, he had gone, and I quickly got up and made my way down the hall to the bathroom.


	20. Chapter 20 Christmas

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

EPOV

Chapter 20

Christmas

It was Christmas day, just one more day I thought to myself, one more day and I would see Bella again, one more day and I would be on the mend. Every part of my dying body ached. I had no strength, I had no coordination, I had no focus. I tried to do what Jasper had suggested and spent all of what little energy I had left thinking of her. Of her face, what I would say to her when I woke up, what she would say to me. I thought about what our children would look like and tried to come up with names for them.

I had lost all concept of time at that point; I only knew that it was Christmas because I could hear all of the commotion downstairs as Alice tried to gather everyone around to exchange gifts. I hadn't been downstairs in days, I didn't even get to see what the tree looked like all done up.

Then, I heard a sound, I looked over at the clock that hung on the white wall and saw that it was four in the afternoon. Sixteen more hours I thought. The sound I was hearing was becoming louder, it was unmistakable, and I dreaded the thought of hearing it. It was Bella's truck; she was coming up the driveway.

With new found energy I leapt out of my sodden bed and ran to the window. My worst fear was confirmed, there she was, parking her truck and getting out. I hoped I was having another hallucination, but I knew that I wasn't. She was approaching the front door now; she had two shopping bags hooked around her arms. Was she trying to get herself killed? Couldn't this wait until tomorrow?

My train of thought was interrupted by a light knock at my door. Alice crept in, she saw me standing by the window, fury in my black eyes.

"What is she doing here Alice?" I growled.

"Don't be mad at me. I invited Bella over because we wanted her to open presents with us."

"I can't believe you would do this to me Alice." My hands were shaking and my voice was desperate.

"I'm sorry Edward." Her sparkling eyes dropped to the floor, she really was sorry. "I wasn't thinking. But don't worry, she's not here to see you, she's here to see us, I don't even think she's planning on asking for you."

I glared at her, if ever I wanted to choke my sister, it would be now.

"I'm so sorry Edward, but don't be mad at her, be mad at me, I invited her over, she really is trying to be good about this. She knows how important it is to you that she should stay away. It's my entire fault." I felt terrible, Alice actually sounded like she was afraid of me.

"What does it matter?" I sighed, defeated. I didn't have the energy or stamina to fight with Alice right now. "It's fine, don't worry about it." I sat down in the window sill.

Her eyes were soft and sad looking, "if she asks about you what should I tell her? Should I let her see you?"

Immediately my brain said no, absolutely not, but my selfish, aching heart said yes. This was a bad idea and I knew it, I could already smell her in the house, my throat burned so hot that I nearly screamed. But part of me truly believed that nothing could ever bring me to hurt my Bella.

"I'll leave that to your discretion." Alice's eyes lit up as if I had just given her some amazing gift, she turned to leave the room, "But," I said sternly, "Do Not encourage her." She nodded at me and disappeared down the hallway.

I had been in darkness all day, I turned on the dimmest light in the room, my head was in searing pain, I quickly tousled the bed sheets neatly over the mattress and smoothed the comforter. I went to my closet and grabbed a clean, non venom soaked t- shirt and threw it on. I even went to the lengths of throwing fresh gel in my hair and running my fingers through it. I didn't know why I was bothering, I was ghastly looking, all drawn and dark, it was ridiculous to think that a well kept haircut would distract from that. Okay, now if Bella decided to risk her life to catch a glimpse of her junkie boyfriend, at least I was ready, sort of.

I waited for about an hour, maybe she won't come, I hoped silently, it would be best if she didn't, but part of me knew I would be disappointed if I didn't get to see her. I was about to give up hope, when I heard her familiar footsteps padding down the hallway. I shut my eyes and listened to every foot fall in anticipation; it was the sweetest sound I had heard in two weeks.

She was almost at my door, I quickly got up and opened the door, her hand hung in the air, mid knock. I couldn't help but smile, there was my angel, standing at the threshold, wearing a white thermal hooded shirt that I had bought her a while ago.

"Bella," I said with ease.

"Hi." She said in a small voice.

"You shouldn't be here." I said, more as a disclaimer than a true warning.

"I know. I won't stay long."

"As you wish." I had to get the message across to her that she was about to enter a very dangerous situation.

As she walked toward me, I backed away paces until I had reached the window. She continued to walk toward me, and I held up a hand to stop her.

"Bella, you know I love you and I'm happy to see you but it would be better if you stayed over there." She nodded sadly, I knew she understood. She turned to close the door behind her, and I interjected again, "please, leave it open." She needs to be able to escape if things get out of hand I thought to myself, disgusted.

I held my breath, in hopes to block out the scent coming from her that seemed to be intensifying by the second; this would indeed have to be a very short visit.

"Merry Christmas," she said softly.

"Merry Christmas love," I said mustering up all my strength to keep my voice calm and gentle like she was used to and keep my hands from shaking. "I guess I ruined the holidays again this year huh?" I asked, remembering how I had left her last year.

She smiled and nodded bravely, "yup, you sure did. That's okay though, you can make it up to me next year by buying me something extravagant and unnecessary."

"Wow, you must be mad at me." I said playfully, knowing how much she hated it when I bought her things.

"Not mad, just concerned." She said genuinely, she had managed to keep a smile on her face this whole time, but now as she got a better look at me and what a mess I was, her expression was overcome with grief. My hands started to shake, I could see the alarm in her eyes and I stubbornly shoved then in my pockets.

"Oh Edward, you look awful." She said, her voice shaking a little. Hearing her say my name made my heart soar, and then ache when I saw tears standing in her beautiful brown eyes.

"I feel awful." I said smiling sadly.

"You know, you don't have to do this, I'm sure I could get Emmett to kill you a bear or something and we could go back to the way things were. I won't even harass you about the whole changing me into a vampire thing. Just please stop hurting yourself." She bargained.

How could I refuse her? I wanted so badly to run to her and lift her up and kiss her and agree to her request, I knew she would bear me no ill will if I backed out now. But I couldn't, "Bella, I've been feeling like crap for almost two weeks now, a few more hours isn't going to kill me." I lied through my teeth, trying to be brave for her.

She studied me closely, "are you, are you sweating?" She asked, confused.

"It's venom." I said hoarsely, looking down at the floor. She put a hand to her mouth, her eyes grew wide. "My body is producing an excess of it that I'm not using, so I'm sort of, leaking." I informed.

"Does this, happen a lot?" She asked

"Sometimes." I said nonchalantly. I pushed the pile of dirty t-shirts that lay on the floor under the bed with my foot. I also neglected to tell her about the vomiting, migraines, and hallucinations I was having. I'd tell her someday, but now was not the time.

This conversation needed to come to an end, I was just upsetting her more by the second and her scent was practically choking me now. I felt like I was keeping my hands in my pockets not only to slow the shaking, but to keep me from grabbing her.

As if she were reading my mind, she said, "I should probably get going."

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I apologized, ashamed.

"Why? You've seen me at my worst, what's the difference?" Her acceptance of me never ceased to amaze.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She said with a weak smile.

"Okay." She turned for the door to leave. I couldn't believe it, I had survived, in the throes of my darkest hour, where I was most dangerous to her, I managed to keep my instincts under control. She was going to be fine, I would see her tomorrow, and I suddenly started to feel slightly better.

"Oh!" She exclaimed suddenly, "I almost forgot, I got you something." She turned around, a mischievous grin came across her face, "here, Merry Christmas."

She threw a small black box in my direction. I quickly pulled my hands out of my pockets to catch it, as I had expected, I fumbled miserably, nearly dropping it. Her grin disappeared at the sight of that.

I opened the box as carefully as my hands would allow and pulled out a black leather strap with a polished circular mahogany colored stone hanging from it. On either side of the stone was a simple wooden bead or two. My mouth curled into a smile.

"It's supposed to have healing and protective powers." She informed me, "I got it at one of those natural tribal stores. I may have gotten screwed, but I thought you'd like it." her grin returned.

"I love it." I whispered staring at it in wonderment. "This is the best gift I have ever gotten. Thank you Bella."

I looked up at her, and her smile grew wider, pleased that she had picked me out something that I loved. I stared at her for a moment; she nervously slipped a piece of her long brown hair behind her ear that had about a hundred piercings in it. She was so pretty. Everything about her was perfect to me.

I knew I shouldn't touch her, so I settled for second best and went to put the necklace on. I brought the two ends of the leather strap together and went to tie a knot. Perfect timing for me to have a true junkie moment, my hands started to shake so badly that I couldn't tie it, frustration pulsed through me, I tried to remain calm. Bella watched helplessly, torment settling across her face. She fumbled with the sleeves of her shirt nervously, her foot started to twitch, I knew she wanted so badly to tie it for me, and I prayed that she would stay away.

Finally, I saw a look of determination come across her face; she had made her decision and started walking toward me.

"Bella, I wouldn't, please don't" I warned, I couldn't back up any further from her.

"Just hold your breath for a minute and think about driving your car or something." She said frustrated, she grabbed the necklace out of my hand and tucked it under my chin. I did as she told me and held my breath and tried to distract my mind. It wasn't working, her smell was crushing me, her hair slapped against my back and neck as she made the knot.

"How's that? Is that tight enough?" She asked. I said nothing, shutting my eyes tightly and nodding.

"Okay then. That wasn't so bad." She was right, it wasn't for that split second, but she was still standing too close to me. She was only inches away from the back of my neck, her size was diminutive next to me. I could easily overpower her, even if I was human, she'd be no match for me. She had finished tying the knot, and was lowering her hands back down, when out of nowhere, I felt myself grab her wrist gently.

No different than when we were at home, I placed her hand against my face and leaned against it. She was so warm, I stopped holding my breath and breathed in her scent, almost instantly the migraine pain I had been feeling for days went away; just from _smelling_ her. I imagined what tasting her would do to ease my withdrawals. I could hear her heart beating and felt the blood in her veins pulsing through as I pressed my face against her tiny wrist. I could even _hear_ her blood moving, it was incredible, to give in to my senses this way, especially after I had denied myself for so long.

Still maintaining all the gentleness of a summer breeze I pressed her wrist against my mouth and kissed it tenderly. I heard her sigh in contentment and heard her heart skip a beat. Bella trusted me completely.

I kissed her wrist again and this time when I did, I smelt her blood, rather than her delicate floral scent. I smelt the sweet, metallic scent of the two things I craved most, Bella and her blood. I felt my hand tighten around her wrist, again I kissed her, and my grip tightened harder, I felt her wince a little at my grasp. I was starting to hurt her now. Her heart began to beat faster, usually this meant that I was exciting her in some way, but not this time, I could tell the difference, she was frightened.

I put my mouth to her wrist once more, with no intention of kissing her this time. The horror of the circumstances would not register. I felt like it wasn't really happening, that it was a dream, I felt a low growl in my chest and my lips curl back slightly as I prepared to sink my teeth into her flesh.

"Edward, Edward." I heard her say my name, calmly, fearlessly, "Edward, stop." She knew what was about to happen and still, she remained composed and patient with me. I snapped out of it the second I heard her voice, the voice of my love, my only one. Shame washed over my entire being. I instantly dropped her unscathed, perfect wrist.

I didn't turn around to look at her or to apologize, I couldn't. I couldn't stand the thought of looking her in the eye right now. I was a monster. "I think you should go now." I whispered, my voice tight and strangled. I felt the empty sobs starting to enter my chest. She didn't say a word, I felt her footsteps around me and I could still hear the sound of her heartbeats as she cautiously headed for the door. I listened as the familiar sounds of my love grew fainter and fainter as she left me, and then she was gone.

Now in the darkness again, I felt the agonizing pain in my temples return, my stomach churned, and my hands shook more violently then before and I let the tearless sobs rip from my chest, as I crumbled into a pile on my bedroom floor.


	21. Chapter 21 The Other Side

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 21**

**The Other Side**

The gentle knocking I heard on my door was a welcome distraction from one of the worst nights of my life. I didn't care who it was, I actually wanted the company. Before the door opened, I knew already that it was Alice.

"Edward?" She said unassuredly, "Are you alright?"

She probably thought I was dead by now, the state I was in. She didn't see me at first when she walked in because I was sitting on top of my dresser, curled up against the wall with the shades drawn and all of the lights off. I felt ghoulish, like I was in a tomb.

"Alice," I said gently, "I'm over here."

She carefully peered around the corner of the door, I hopped down off the bureau and walked towards her with my hands in my pockets.

I had startled her, her hand flew up against her chest, "are you almost ready to go?" she said breathlessly. I didn't answer her right away. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

"She's meeting us there, why?" She asked, her perfect brow crinkling in confusion. It became clear to me then that Alice had no idea about what had happened the other night.

"Are you sure she's still planning on coming?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" Alice asked crossly, frowning at me, her size seven foot began to tap impatiently. "What did you do to her?"

"You didn't see?" She shook her head; I walked over to the bed and pressed the heels of my hands against my forehead as I sat down.

"What happened?" She sat by me, her tone mellowing slightly.

"I attacked her." I whispered, pressing my hands into my face harder.

"Oh no, Edward, oh no, oh no." She said miserably, "how could you?" She hissed.

"No harm came of it." I argued, my voice rising pathetically, "there's not a mark on her, she's fine, I stopped before it was too late." Then I remembered how she had winced when I grasped her wrist, "well, maybe, I, her wrist may be a little sore today." I said defensively.

Alice rose from the bed enraged, "Edward Cullen, so help me if you spilt one drop of that girl's blood I'll kill you myself." She growled at me.

"Good, I hope you do, for her sake I'd be better off dead at this point!" I snapped back.

Her expression softened slightly, but she was clearly still very put out with me, "What did you do to her?"

"Everything was fine, she was about to leave, and then, she gave me this gift." I gestured to the strap around my neck. "My damn hands were shaking so much that I couldn't get it on, so, she tried to help. Then I grabbed her wrist and my God Alice the smell coming off of her, I couldn't stop, I held her tighter and tighter and I was just about to…" My voice trailed off, I cringed, "anyway, she told me to stop and I stopped."

"That's it?" She was almost laughing.

"What do you mean that's it?" Was she really making light of something this serious? It infuriated me, "I've never come that close to hurting her before, no scratch that, I actually did hurt her, she winced a little when I grabbed her wrist."

"Edward, do you know what Jasper did to me when he was on a fast?"

"No." I said confused, I had no idea that he had ever done anything harmful to Alice.

She smiled weakly, and sat down beside me on the bed again. She pulled down the neck of her sweater so that I could see her pale, sculpted shoulder. I didn't see anything; she reached over and turned on a lamp. The light reflected off of her exposed shoulder and revealed a large, silvery, jagged scar against her clavicle. "He did this to me."

I moved closer to her to get a better look, the scar was a few inches long, and had once been very deep. The end of it closest to the bone curved slightly, like a letter J, it looked like someone had cut her with a knife. I ran my fingers back and forth along it, the edges were too jagged to be from a knife, Jasper had bitten her, more than bitten her, he had torn her flesh right off of the muscle. She watched me with her intense gold eyes as I touched her, it didn't seem to bother her at all. I stared back at her with my sunken black eyes and said the only thing that came to my mind, "Alice, I'm so sorry."

"Not as sorry as he was." She slipped her shoulder back into her shirt and took my hand in both of hers, "Bella will forgive you, chances are, she probably already has, she understands."

"She shouldn't." I mumbled.

"By now, Bella knows what comes with the territory of being involved with not just you, but all of us. She's stronger than you give her credit for and so are you."

"I find that hard to believe." I snorted.

"Edward, when Jasper did this to me, he had not hunted in a week, he was not himself. He was going through a very strong withdrawal and I interceded at the wrong time."

"This happened only after a week?" I asked disgusted.

"Bear him no ill will Edward," she warned, "Trying to wean yourself off human blood is a much more intense experience."

"He mentioned that, but a week Alice? I can easily be around Bella after a week and not be affected like that."

"Exactly. Very few of us can do that, and then when you dangle someone who appeals to you as much as Bella does after twice as long…it's a miracle that you didn't kill her the second she stepped inside the house."

"If that's true than why did you even let her come upstairs, let alone to my bedroom, by herself?" I asked crossly.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Please Edward, none of us really believe you have it in you to harm Bella. You'll do anything she asks, anything to please her, always putting your needs last, we all know it. She may occasionally get bumped or cut or roughed up here and there, but it's fairly obvious that you'd never do anything permanent to her. That girl owns you." She grinned. "You could probably try anything you wanted with her and she'd come out of in better shape than she started in." Alice winked at me.

"Alice, please, we don't need to discuss this." I said in an effort to keep my intimate life with Bella intimate.

"Alright, I'm just saying," she said getting up, putting her hands in front of her.

"You've said enough." I grumbled.

"Come on, we're going to be late, and besides, I can't stand looking at you like this anymore, you're starting to gross me out, with your dirty t-shirts and you greasy hair, it's very unbecoming for a Cullen."

"Tell me about it." I reached for my coat on the floor.

The house was very quiet as we left, Rose and Emmett were nowhere to be seen, and I assumed Carlisle was at work, the only two I saw were Esme and Jasper, discussing something at the dining room table. They caught a glimpse of me as I walked by, trying to avoid them, they sensed it and didn't make a fuss. Esme smiled weakly and gave me a little wave, Jasper just gazed at me with his patient eyes, '_it's all going to be worth it'_ I heard him say in my mind as I shut the front door behind Alice and me.

The animal hospital was dark when we arrived, they were closed to extend the holiday a little longer for their employees and extend a courtesy to me. Alice parked in the back and we entered through the side door that led into the treatment room. Juno was waiting for us.

She stood there, leaning casually against a sink table, her long ebony hair tied up in a messy half ponytail half bun revealing the strong curve of her perfect cheekbones. Her almond shaped eyes studied me curiously; she was not alarmed by my appearance at all. "Good morning." She cooed like a dove.

"Good morning Juno." Alice replied cheerfully.

"How are you feeling?" She addressed me sardonically. I have to say, that I did not particularly care for Dr. Patience Juno's attitude toward me. Alice raved about how kind and compassionate she was with her clients, but I didn't see it, at least not with me. Bella had a theory that she disliked men, vampire men especially. I suppose I could understand, but regardless, I would be happy to be rid of her once this was over.

"I feel fine." I replied with a smirk.

"And you haven't fed at all these past few days?"

"Not a drop for the last…" I looked at my watch, trying to draw out my personal triumph, "fourteen days." She exchanged glances with Alice to confirm my statement. My smirk grew more pronounced.

An impressed expression crossed her face and she gave me an odd look, nodding slowly, it almost looked like she was, aroused by my accomplishment. "That's very impressive Mr. Cullen, you have a strong and healthy mind."

"Well, I don't know how healthy it is, but strong, yes."

"Shall we get started then?" Juno asked.

I looked around nervously, there was a very important part missing in this equation, Alice read my expression and said, "Bella's going to be here soon. She's on her way." She looked at Juno and said, "We really need to wait until she gets here, it won't be much longer."

"I understand." Juno said, her expression softening slightly. "We'll take as much time as you need." She almost sounded tender as she spoke to me. I could not get a read on this woman, she was very erratic with her emotions, I didn't understand her. "I'll be in my office."

Once she had left, Alice threw a backpack she had been carrying at me, "here, go change your clothes, you're starting to leak again. Bella will be here any minute, the bathroom's that way, pull yourself together, do you want the first thing for her to see you as a human in be that?" She gestured flippantly at my clothes.

I had been wearing the same jeans for days, and I had come to the end of my stash of t- shirts that I had left behind when we moved. I didn't look like myself at all. For once I was grateful that Alice was motivated by fashion. I disappeared into the bathroom.

She had packed me khaki cargo pants and a blue gray long sleeved Henley shirt that had a few buttons in the front. I quickly dressed and looked in the mirror, I had to admit, it was an improvement. Then I noticed the necklace Bella had given me still clung on to my damp neck, I lovingly untucked it from the inside of my shirt and rubbed my thumb along its' smooth surface. Healing and protection, I thought, two things I would definitely require in my next life, especially with Bella's ability to attract danger. I smiled at that thought and then I was ready.

When I got back to the treatment room, Alice informed me that Bella was here and waiting in the employee lounge adjacent to the surgery suite.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"She's fine Edward. Stop worrying, you need to focus on yourself right now, Juno is on her way in. Do you want me to get Bella?"

Yes, yes, and yes I thought to myself, but I couldn't risk another incident. Even though I was in better spirits today, I could still smell her, Alice really didn't even need to tell me that she was here, I already knew. But the scent that was coming off of her was not her floral fragrance, it again, like last night, was the smell of her blood that was pulling me toward her, and I would use that as a warning to myself that she was not safe near me.

"No." It was almost a question the way I pronounced it.

"She's fine with that." Alice stated with confidence.

"Is she upset with me?" I asked, becoming anxious.

"No, I can guarantee that she is not." Waves of relief came over me.

Juno was back, "Is everything copacetic?"

"Yes. I think so." I said.

"Follow me then." She led us into the surgery suite; there was glass all around us with the exception of one solid wall. "Sit down please," she said gesturing to the exam table. I hesitated for a moment, but then pulled myself up and onto the heated table.

She stood directly in front of me and gazed into my eyes deeply. "Edward," she said very carefully, "I need you to calm your mind. Close your eyes please."

I did as I was told, sort of, my mind was rampant with thoughts and fears and memories, I was physically beyond uncomfortable, and I could still smell Bella, my throat burned with thirst.

"EDWARD!" Juno said sternly, my eyes snapped open, "as I said before, you need to focus and calm your mind for me please."

I tried harder this time, shutting my eyes tightly. I tried to distract myself by thinking of music, which seemed to work. "That's better." Juno said more calmly, "I'm going to touch your face now, is that alright? Nod if it is." I nodded my head slowly. Her cool hands touched my temples lightly, I started to feel my migraine dissipate. She made circular motions with her fingers, and slowly let them wander across my face over my eyelids, it felt incredible to me. I heard her breathe deeply and the music in my head became more complex, requiring more of my concentration.

After moments she said kindly, "lay down please." I felt her and Alice's hands on my back as they helped to guide me down softly to the table. After a few moments of lying still, I felt Juno's hands on my face again; relaxation was beginning to overtake me. I felt her hands put pressure on either side of my neck, and then my shoulders, hips, thighs, calves, all the way down to my feet. She started to breathe deeply again, I heard no other sound. Then I felt a great pressure against me, as if I had a wooden board slowly crushing me. I felt an iciness overcome me that I had never felt before and I began to shiver. My musical distraction was no longer working, my mind frantically tried to come up with something else.

Before I could make a conscious decision for it to happen, I started seeing images…of my life. I saw my parents, my birth parents. I saw friends, neighborhoods that I couldn't remember ever existing for me. Then the more prominent part of my life flashed before me, I saw Carlisle and then Esme, Rose, Emmett, and finally Jasper and Alice. I saw me talking with them, fighting with them, hunting, spending time, embracing them, and them embracing me. And then, she came, Bella, I saw Bella, I saw her on that first day of school, her hair blowing everywhere and her looking terrified of all of the stares she got as she entered the classroom. I saw her by her locker, her truck, scowling at me, staring at me, and me ignoring her. Then came memories of us together; in the meadow, the first time I kissed her, the first time she laid her head on my chest and fell asleep on me, her attack by James, her lying broken in a hospital bed, her throwing herself on me to protect me in Italy, I saw all of it, a pictorial history of the life I had created with her and I was whole again, I felt soothed and at ease, I felt, I felt like I had just gone blind. Everything went black; I could no longer see anything in my mind or in front of me. I then realized that I couldn't move my body either, panic started to set in.

"Alice," I said maintaining my composure as best I could, "Alice, I can't see."

"I know Edward, hold on, it's going to pass." She started to pat my hand.

"I can't move."

"I know, but you need to be quiet now." She said sadly.

I obeyed, but then, dread went through me, I felt the need to breathe, to gasp for air, but I couldn't. My chest was becoming tight, I couldn't get a sufficient breath, my breathing was becoming thready and shallow, as a vampire I didn't have to breathe, but as a human, if that's what I was, I did, and I couldn't. Something must have gone wrong and now I was dying, I was going to die and I didn't even get to say goodbye to Bella.

I heard muffled voices around me but I couldn't interpret what they were saying. Then I felt the chest compressions, one, two, three, four… they went on and on, they weren't going to be able to save me. I prepared for the end; I felt immense warmth all over. My body was full of electricity, I could feel pulsing, the warmth spreading, I couldn't smell Bella anymore, I must be dead.

I felt someone squeeze my hand; I wasn't sure what that meant. I could still hear the muffled voices, and a beeping sound, the voices were beginning to become clearer now, someone was crying.

"Edward, open your eyes," an unknown voice ordered. I wondered who had said that, it sounded like Juno, I thought.

"Edward?" A second voice, Alice? The beeping sound grew louder.

And then I heard it, the only sound that could or would ever bring me back from the dead, "Edward, please…"

I felt my eyelids flicker and then open slowly. She was there, standing beside the table, holding my hand, my Bella, she looked exquisite. She smiled warmly at me, her deep brown eyes glistened with tears. I studied her, puzzled, like I was coming out of some long fever dream.

"Bella?" I said, drowsily.

"Yes?"

"What's that beeping sound?"

"It's your heartbeat Edward." Alice said, her voice trembling. I looked to my left and saw that I had been hooked up to a monitor, a red line that moved across the screen displayed a series of perfectly spaced out P, Q, R, and S waves.

A cool hand touched the side of my face, so cool that it startled me, I couldn't figure out why. It was Juno, she looked exhausted, "your body is tired, and needs to heal, it's time for you to sleep, my friend." Almost instantaneously exhaustion overcame me, my eyelids grew heavy, and I fought to keep them open, but I was losing, I took one last look at Bella, and she just smiled and said, "don't worry, I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."


	22. Chapter 22 The Awakening

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 22**

**The Awakening**

Edward had been asleep for days. I actually wasn't sure he was sleeping or if he was in a coma. I hadn't seen anything change remarkably about him, but then again, I couldn't get a very good look at him, I was afraid to touch him or sit close by to him. I didn't know why, as silly as it seemed, I was afraid I would ruin something if I did.

After his 'procedure' he lost consciousness, Juno monitored him for an hour or so, and when she was comfortable that he was safe, she said we could take him home. I had asked her multiple times how long he would be out, and she had no answers for me. She didn't know when he would wake up, and she didn't know if it had even worked. She said that we wouldn't know until he awoke. Alice had picked him up carefully and carried him to the car and brought him home. I never left his side. I would go home for a few hours at a time to appease Charlie, but then I would be right back in Edward's room. I was there so much that by the second day Carlisle had brought an arm chair up from the living room for me to reside in. Esme made me cup after cup of coffee as I kept watch. I sat on pins and needles waiting for any sign of life from him, some kind of sign that he was still here. I waited in vain, he never stirred, never moved and his breathing was so shallow that most of the time I couldn't hear it.

I comforted myself by assuring my mind that this was to be expected, his body had been taxed so much during those few weeks that it would only be natural that it would take this long to get his strength back. I shuddered when I thought of that day I saw him. He really did look like a junkie; all I could remember was the movie Trainspotting when Ewan MacGregor's character was trying to come off heroin. It was chilling the similarities that Edward shared with that character. He looked nothing like himself, he had lost weight, if that was possible, and the frenzied look in his black eyes frightened me. If he didn't come out of this changed, then I would insist that he never try this again, ever.

By day five, I was starting to look like Edward had the day before he saw Juno. I wondered if it was possible to have withdrawals from a person, rather than a substance. It was late morning, and I was already on my third cup of coffee, which Esme had made way too strong, one cup of Esme's coffee was equivalent to two cups of a normal person's cup, so in theory, I was on my sixth cup and it was only ten o'clock. I would have an ulcer for sure by the time this was all over. I hadn't gotten to spend any meaningful amount of time with Edward for three weeks now. I missed him so much. I wanted to talk to him and breathe in his sweet scent. I wondered if I ever would be able to again.

I sat in my overstuffed microfiber armchair, my feet hanging over the side of the arm. I grabbed the remote on the floor and clicked on the stereo. The silence I had been listening to for the past five days was deafening. I turned the volume down, thinking that somehow I would disturb Edward if it was up too loud, Mazzy Star again, he certainly did like this CD. I listened to her sleepy, haunting voice and acoustic guitar, it was very soothing. I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt down around my hands and curled up around my hot cup of coffee, the warmth brought comfort. I let my head drop back onto the arm of the chair and closed my eyes, I could feel my body growing heavy and preparing itself for sleep, and then I heard Edward's bed creak.

My eyes snapped open and I turned my head quickly in the direction of the bed, nearly giving myself whiplash. He was moving, he was starting to sit up, I watched in awe as he arched his back and stretched his long arms out on either side of him, he let his head drop back and let out a tired groan followed like a deep sigh. He had no idea I was watching him, my body was frozen, my eyes glued to him. He turned his head to the side and saw me, his beautiful crooked smile that I had been without for so long, spread across his face in surprise.

"Bella?" his voice was hoarse and faraway.

I put my coffee down carefully and rolled off the chair onto the floor, I crawled over the bed desperately, not taking my eyes off him, fearing that he would disappear like a mirage. I knelt on the floor in front of the bed as he held himself propped up, watching me in amusement.

We stared at each other for several moments, like two people who hadn't seen each other in years would if they suddenly ran into each other on the street.

He was the first to speak, "so, um, how bad is it?"

I continued to stare at him, more closely now, he had changed, he gazed up at me with shy eyes. Immortality couldn't hold a candle to the person that sat before me, he was absolutely radiant.

His pale skin had darkened up slightly, and gone was the hard, statue like cut of his features, in its' place was a peachy like glow. His crazy, flyaway bronze hair still glimmered in the late morning sun and his chest and shoulders remained well muscled under his thin gray shirt. His eyes had changed from a fierce, brilliant, unnatural amber color to a warm, liquid green and as he looked up at me through his thick black eyelashes and I noticed he had a couple of laugh lines around them.

I wanted to touch him so badly, I reached up with both of my hands on either side of his face, and I hesitated, dropping them down again. I tried to lift them again, and hesitated once more.

"It's okay," he whispered, "I want you to."

That was the clearance I needed. I placed my hands on either side of his face, his skin was no longer cold, it almost startled me, the warmth and softness of it. He closed his eyes dreamily, "no, no, it's been so long since I've seen you." I pleaded.

He reopened his eyes and locked them on mine and smiled at me. "How do I look?"

I smiled back at him, "well, you're still prettier than me." I said flatly.

He softly chuckled and leaned in toward me, whispering in my ear, "Bella, nobody's prettier than you." He rubbed the side of his jaw against mine and kissed me softly on the cheek.

There was something different about him, and then I realized what it was, he had stubble growing along his jaw line. I smiled as he kissed my cheek again and whispered in his ear playfully, "you need to shave."

He froze midway through his third kiss; I could hear his mouth draw into a smile. He pulled away from me and touched his face, rubbing his chin lightly. "I guess I do, that should prove to be interesting."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into the bed with him, rubbing his scruffy chin all over my face and kissing me under my earlobe. We lay identically, side by side facing one another, our arms tucked under the sides of our heads just watching each other.

"I didn't think I was ever going to hear your voice again." I said very seriously, nervously playing with the fabric of his shirt. He continued to watch me intently, rubbing the back of his hand against my hip. "How do you feel?"

"I feel," he looked up at the ceiling, searching for the words with his pretty green eyes. He dropped his gaze back down at me, "I feel rested."

"Were you sleeping this whole time?"

"I was," he replied, smiling.

"Could you hear anything going on around you?" I asked with curiosity.

"No."

"What was it like?"

"It was like…finally being able to let go of ninety years of worry and frustration. Like finally escaping from the longest day of your life. And then, when the dreams started coming, that made everything even better." He explained.

"What did you dream about?"

"What do you think?"

I smiled with embarrassment; he had always told me that if he could dream, it would be about me, I guess he was right. "You were lucky; you didn't start talking in your sleep."

"Well no, of course not, that would be terribly embarrassing. I've got to watch what I say around you now, since my power to dazzle you is probably diminished." He said smiling, his perfect white teeth gleaming.

"I wouldn't say that." I said softly, nuzzling my head into his shoulder. He smelt wonderful to me, even though his familiar scent was much less pronounced, it still lingered there, on the surface of his skin. I wondered if he could still smell me and if not, if _my_ ability to dazzle _him_ would diminish.

"Bella," he said suddenly, interrupting my anxious thoughts.

"Yes?" I mumbled into his shoulder, he dropped his face down, resting it on top of my head.

"I want to try something." He whispered.

My heart leapt in my chest, I felt butterflies stir in my stomach in anticipation with what was going to happen, "anything." I breathed. I lifted my head from his shoulder and let my eyes wander to his angelic face.

"I need you to stay very still." He murmured against my ear. I shut my eyes and nodded. "Don't move." I became as still as an oil painting, but my heart was starting to beat faster.

I felt his hand that was resting quietly on my hip slowly come to life. He stroked my waist gently, and then very hesitantly, pushed my shirt up slightly, exposing my navel and lower back, I took a deep breath and felt my cheeks grow warm. "Still." He whispered, almost to himself. The weight of his hand against my skin was so light that I almost couldn't feel him, almost. He made slow, deliberate circles and lines with his knuckles up the curve of my waist and along the small of my back. I remained still. He allowed himself to go a little further and let his hand drop down where the blade of my hip made a little valley around my stomach. He only lingered there for a second, tracing the line with one finger and then rested his hand on my hip again.

He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me toward him, until my body was right up against his, my exposed skin pressed up against his soft shirt. He rested his forehead against me and kissed me softly on the lips. I reached my hand down and rested it on his hip and then slowly slid it up his shirt. I ran the back of my hand slowly up his side. Before I would have never been able to touch him like this at all, he wouldn't allow it, I worried now if I had overstepped my boundaries. I went no farther and just let my hand be still. He kissed me again, and then his hand moved down to his waist, I figured that this would be where he would gently remove my hand and be done with it. To my surprise, he pulled his shirt up, exposing his skin and pressed his stomach against mine.

I gasped in shock at his boldness while he kissed me again. And then I gasped again at the immediate pleasure I felt of having his newly warmed skin against mine. I had always dreamt of this, I could never be this way with him before. Before when he would lie in bed with me, I would always be wrapped in a blanket because the icy touch of his body against mine would make me shiver.

He kissed me again, I wanted to feel more of his skin against me, I craved the heat coming off of him. I didn't want to scare him away, my next move would need to be something subtle. I moved my hands over the outside of his shirt, feeling the heat through his clothing now, I ran my hand up his chest, he held me closer, I felt, buttons, four of them, all snapped together tightly.

I carefully undid the buttons on his Henley shirt and folded the two sides back. I stopped there and just let my hand rest against his now hot chest.

"You're so warm now." I said softly.

"Is that alright?" He asked shyly, I couldn't believe how self conscious he was.

Nothing prepared me for that response, "of course it is." I reached my free hand up and laid it on his soft face. My other hand was still planted on his bare chest, but when I touched his face, I felt something else, something under my hand reverberated, and it took me a moment to realize that it was his heartbeat.

My eyes widened slightly at the feel of it, the pulsing and thudding, he saw my expression change, "what's the matter?" He asked, concern in his voice.

My look of awe turned slowly into a smile, "I can feel your heart beating."

A look of disbelief crossed his face, he frantically put his hand to his chest, I placed my hand over his and smiled. Emotion flooded his face as he felt his heart beating for the first time in ninety some odd years. His eyes shut and a smile of relief came over his face, "I can't believe it," he whispered. When he opened his eyes, I saw tears in them. I stretched up to reach his face and kissed him, over and over again on his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, as he buried his face in my neck and held me tight to him.

I lay back down against the pillows and Edward curled up against me, laying his head against my chest, he sighed deeply and kissed my neck softly. It was starting to get cloudy outside, like it was going to rain or snow, and gray light now filled his bedroom. A feeling of drowsiness began to come over me, it was over, Edward was here and he was fine and we were together. A feeling of peace and of being whole again came over me as he pulled the heavy comforter over us and we fell asleep together for the very first time.


	23. Chapter 23 First Night

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 23**

**First Night**

The first sound that I heard was a loud bang followed by a snapping sound, followed by a low rumble and another bang. I was so startled that I cried out as my body shot upright into a seated position in the bed. Edward had already shot up and was standing beside the bed, his reflexes still infallible.

Emmett's huge frame stood before us, practically filling the doorway, he was grinning ear to ear. The door barely hung on its' hinges, and a massive crack was going through the middle of it, and a painting lay on the floor by his feet.

"Emmett!" I shrieked.

"Emmett, Jesus, what the hell?!" Edward shouted.

"So the rumors are true, sleeping beauty has finally risen." Emmett chuckled.

Edward and I looked at each other and said simultaneously, "Alice."

With so much speed that I barely saw him, Emmett launched himself onto the bed bedside me and folded his hands behind his head, grinning. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything." Edward threw him a scornful glance as he made his way to the bedroom door and picked the painting up off the floor.

"Well you don't look so different, you smell funny though." Emmett said as he watched Edward come back over to the bed and sit down. "You're still an ugly bastard."

"I'm still better looking than you." Edward said sardonically.

"I'm still stronger than you."

"You know what they say, if you can't be smarter, be stronger." Edward said with a smirk.

An angry look crossed Emmett's face for a moment, followed by a guffaw that nearly shook the room. "I missed you man." He reached over and slapped Edward's shoulder. Edward's smirk formed into a genuine smile followed by an equally powerful laugh.

"God, we didn't think you were ever coming back, but witchy told us otherwise. She predicted you'd be up by this morning."

"She was right." Edward replied.

"You were awake this morning and you didn't even come downstairs to tell us? You are a bastard."

"I was preoccupied." Edward explained, glancing over at me.

"That's cold. She didn't even have to deal with your crappy attitude for two weeks and then you finally wake up and she's the one you run to?"

"That's correct," he answered.

"Seriously Bella," Emmett Continued turning toward me, "you weren't here, he was a beast."

"I should probably take the time to apologize to everyone for that." Edward said sheepishly.

"No time like the present, everyone's home." Emmett said pulling himself up and off the bed.

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment, and then glanced over at me apologetically. "Go on," I encouraged, "I'll stay here." He nodded at me and followed Emmett out the door.

As they disappeared, I saw Emmett grab him roughly around the neck and jerk him around, "aw, geez Emmet, watch it!" I heard Edward grumble.

I resumed my place in the bed, pulling the covers way over my head, my weather prediction was right, and it had started raining. I listened to the tapping drops on the roof and wondered how things were going downstairs. Clearly Emmett was beyond excited that Edward was okay, I wondered how the others would react. About an hour had passed; I started nodding off again, when I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. The door opened and Edward was back. It was odd to me that I could now hear him from wherever he was coming from, in the past, he had been as soundless as a phantom and now he was just as noisy as me. I liked it.

"How'd that go?" I yawned.

"It went just as I had expected, Emmett mocked me, Alice hugged me, Rosalie ignored me, Jasper watched quietly, while Carlisle and Esme are just pleased. More than pleased, Esme would have cried, if she were able to."

"Clearly," I agreed. I stood up and stretched, instantly, Edward was in front of me, playfully grabbing my waist.

"So, it's New Year's Eve…" he started. I completely forgot, I had been so caught up in everything that I had lost track of time. "Can I take you out tonight?"

"Do you have something in mind?" I asked.

"Well, I didn't, but the others did, and naturally, thought of us," he pulled me closer to him. "You might have to dress up a little," he murmured in my ear.

I backed away from him and glared at him, "what do you mean a little?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"You won't have to wear a dress or anything," he said throwing his hands up in front of him in defense, "nothing like that, but you will have to look your age."

"And what exactly is my age?" I said aggressively stepping toward him.

"Twenty one." He said with a smirk.

"But I'm not twenty one, I'm nineteen."

"According to this, Miss Swan, you are twenty one," he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a card. He dangled it in front of me, just out of my reach. I snatched it away from him and looked down. It was a fake ID with my picture perfectly mounted on it, decals and everything, it was flawless.

"Where did you get this?" I asked.

"Ask Jasper and Alice," he shrugged, "I have one too." I looked closely at his, equally as impressive and believable.

"Where are we going?" I asked trying to hold back my excitement.

"A nightclub in Seattle, it's called Black. We've been there a few times, Emmett is friends with the bartender." He explained.

"You've gone clubbing before?" I asked in disbelief.

"It was mostly for business purposes," he said very seriously. "Besides, Alice and Jasper like to go and they always drag me along with them."

"Jasper?" I choked. He nodded. "I have to see this, do Carlisle and Esme go too?"

"No, just the five of us, well the six of us now," he smiled at me and rubbed my back. I really was a Cullen to them, I liked that.

"I've never been to a nightclub before, what do I need to wear?"

"That's more of a question for Alice." He said uncomfortably. "If it were up to me, I'd tell you to wear that." He gestured to my Gap sweatpants, tank top and zip up sweatshirt (a $7.99 target special).

"I don't think Alice will go for this." I muttered gesturing at my frumpy ensemble.

"Would you like to go out with them tonight, or would you rather we just do something together? Because either way is fine with me, love."

"Let's go out with them." I said cheerfully, "It'll be fun, they haven't been able to hang out with you in a while, and I can't keep you all to myself forever." I teased.

"Thank you Bella," he replied, kissing my cheek. I could tell from his eyes that he was hoping I would opt to go out with his siblings, he had missed them.3

"What time will this excursion take place?" I asked.

"Nine o'clock."

"Really? That late?"

"If we get there any time before that, we'll be the only ones there."

"Nine o'clock it is." I glanced at my watch, two o'clock, "that'll give me enough time to spend part of the day with Charlie, eat something, shower and change." I was so used to getting all that done before I would go out with Edward when I lived at Charlie's house that it was second nature to do so.

A perplexed look crossed Edward's face and as if he was trying to wrap his mind around some bizarre concept. He slowly spoke, "oh, right, I guess I'll have to do all of that too…this is going to take some getting used to."

I smiled mischievously and asked, "Are you planning to drink tonight?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," he said, confused.

"Eat carbs. Carbs are a good base for when you go bar hopping, alcohol doesn't hit you as fast." I said reassuringly, gathering my coat and keys from the armchair.

"I don't think that will be necessary." He assured me, looking increasingly turned off at the thought.

"We'll see," I taunted. Edward grabbed his coat and walked me down through the house to my truck. "I'm going to go home, but I'll see you tonight."

"Alright love," He said opening the door for me, immediately he looked down at the seat and started chuckling.

"What?"

"Alice left you a note." I looked down and saw a neatly folded white piece of paper lying on the seat. "It appears as if she's taken your wardrobe into her own hands." He snickered.

I looked in the backseat and saw that Alice had left me a pile of clothes to sift through at home that she thought were club attire appropriate.

"I better get going." I grumbled as I climbed into the freezing cab of my truck, Edward shut my door for me and gave me a wave, and I drove off.

When I got home, to my surprise Charlie was there. In my arms I carried the giant pile of clothes Alice had left me, I laid the bundle down on the coffee table with a huff.

"What are you doing home at this time of day?" I called toward the kitchen, concern wavering in my voice.

"It's New Years Eve Bells, I'm working the third shift tonight." He said coming into the living room eating a bowl of cereal.

I supposed that made sense, but I didn't like it, after Charlie's accident I had grown increasingly overprotective of him. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

"Never sure about that," he answered. The concern in my voice filtered straight into my facial expression, and Charlie noticed. "Don't you worry about your old man, I'll be careful."

"Make sure you wear your vest okay?" I said shakily, "And your seat belt, and have your walkie on at all times." I tried to think of some way I could bubble wrap my father forever.

"Bella," he said putting down his bowl and placing his rough hands on my thin shoulders, "it'll be alright, at most I'll probably have to break up a few rowdy parties, and I can handle that." He put on his bravest crinkly eyed smile for me.

"I know, I know." I answered trying to sound casual. He retrieved his cereal and started munching away again.

"What's all that about?" he asked gesturing to the pile of clothing.

"Oh, that," I said rolling my eyes, "those are Alice's, I'm going to a fancy restaurant tonight and she wanted to lend me something, so I have to go through that and find something to wear."

"Edward's feeling better then?" I had led Charlie to believe that Edward had caught some kind of devastating upper respiratory condition that had rendered him bedridden for these last five days.

"Yes, he's feeling much better, he was up and about today and feeling pretty good, so he and I are going out to dinner tonight with his siblings." I said, lying through my teeth.

"Well, alright," Charlie said, "he's not still contagious is he? Because you don't need to get sick either." He said in a very parental tone.

"Dad, he's fine, I probably would have caught whatever he had by now anyways if it were going to happen."

"Well, still, try to avoid kissing him and other stuff like that." Charlie warned uncomfortably.

I felt my cheeks flush, as if that would ever happen. "Dad… come on."

"So, how late are you going to be out?"

"I would assume at least until midnight if that's okay." I said, annoyed.

"That's fine, but my shift doesn't start until eleven, I'm not really comfortable with you being by yourself here overnight."

"Do you want Edward to sleep over?" I asked.

"No, no, that's not necessary," Charlie said hurriedly, "But do you think Carlisle would mind if you stayed over there?"

"I'm sure they would be okay with that." I said, trying to hold back my smile. I didn't often stay overnight at the Cullens, really the only time I had was the night before we went to the airport. I assumed that Charlie was more comfortable with me going over there where there were parents, and siblings, rather than us staying alone together here.

"Good, I'll call just to double check, I'd just feel better Bells."

"Fine dad." I stood there with him in awkward silence for a moment. I was waiting for him to say what I was anticipating he would eventually say.

"Bella, I know that the two of you live together up at school, and that I'm being silly, not allowing him to sleep over here, but I feel like I have to have some control here, I'm really having a hard time with this." He explained nervously and there it was, the anticipation dissipated through the room like a mist.

"Dad, I said it's fine. I understand, it's no big deal." I reassured him patiently.

"Don't get me wrong…" he continued, "I'm glad you're with someone who cares about you as much as Edward does, but it just seems like you grew up awfully fast these last few months."

I needed to end this conversation, like yesterday. I tried to come up with something to say that would get my point across without alienating Charlie. "Dad, Edward and I love each other very much and someday, we're going to end up together. But, we both have a great deal of respect for each other and are responsible people and we're not planning on doing anything reckless or stupid any time in the near future." It was like a written statement and I said it with a tone of finality. It seemed to satisfy Charlie, or make him incredibly uncomfortable, because his only response was,

"I'm going to call Carlisle and make sure he doesn't mind if you stay over tonight." With that he left the room in search of the cordless phone.

I turned and stared at the massive pile of clothing before me and sighed hotly. With a grunt, I gathered everything up and made for my room. It was going to be a long afternoon.

By three thirty I had narrowed the garments that Alice had sent into three different categories. I had the pile of clothes I liked on my bed, the clothes that were plausible slung over the rocking chair and what I called the hell no pile on the floor shoved under my dresser. Practically everything she had sent over had the word 'less' in it when you described it; backless, strapless, braless…I needed to find something to wear, no doubt Rosalie and Alice would be dressed to the nines, I'd have to blend in with the Cullens if this were going to work. The most beautiful family on the planet, and _I_ had to blend in with _them_. I almost cried at the thought of it. I tried to channel Alice and Rosalie, I couldn't think about what I would wear, I had to think about what they would wear, and then formulate it somewhat to my sense of style.

I figured I could start with shoes, Alice was a ballet flats type of person, that wouldn't work for me tonight, Edward already towered over me, I wanted some height. Rosalie always wore break neck heels, that wouldn't work for me either, I might be able to pull off a high heel boot…I rifled through the pile of accessories that Alice provided and found a pair of dark brown, knee high leather boots, three inch heel, I could handle that. I slipped them on; they fit perfectly and were, to my surprise very comfortable. The boots had a few folds here and there and a gold buckle at the ankle that dressed them up and I was actually enjoying wearing them. Okay, time to move on to bottoms, there was no way I was going to wear a skirt or slacks or what were those, I thought to myself as I shook out a pair of bottoms, chaps, no definitely not wearing chaps. What kind of a person did Alice think I was anyways? I sifted through everything until I found a pair of dark denim hip huggers. I tried those on too, they hung a little low on the waist, showing off my back a little, but they'd have to do. I just had to hope for a longer shirt. In the pile of clothes that I liked, I found a beautiful silk top that was a brilliant peacock blue. It had one strap for the shoulder and the other side cut across the front of my chest at a diagonal, similar to a toga. It was a little clingy, but very long, and because I had a long waist, the material scrunched perfectly at the small of my back and I was very pleased at how it made my butt look. I smirked a satisfied grin in the mirror as I looked at the outfit all put together. I grabbed a khaki colored tailored jacket with cargo pockets to go on over it and matched up a gold chain belt and some bangles and long earrings for accessories.

I took everything off and set it aside for later on that night. Alice had even left me some designer handbags and I chose a dark red clutch bag for contrast. The trickiest part would be makeup and hair but I'd worry about that later, I was on my way to blending in with the beautiful people for one night.

Charlie helped me make dinner and we ate together quietly and then did the dishes. I had a couple more hours before I had to get ready so he and I sat down and watched part of the Rocky movie marathon that was annually showed every New Years Eve. I really didn't like the Rocky movies very much, but it was tradition and I knew Charlie loved them. It was getting to the part in Rocky IV where he was training to fight the Russian, when I noticed that it was eight o'clock.

"Oh, dad, I have to get ready."

"But Bells, you love the training music montage," he insisted.

"You're right; I do, maybe ten more minutes." Charlie smiled warmly and sat back further in his recliner.

When the training montage ended, I started my own montage in my head, the getting ready to go out montage. I ran upstairs and took the quickest shower of my life. I dried and curled my hair, pulling half of it back in a series of twists that gave me that big, stylish coif look on the top of my head that was popular these days. I let the rest of my hair fall down around my shoulders. I threw on some bronzer, mascara, eyeliner, I tried out the smoky eyes look trying to remember everything Renee had told me about lines and blending. By the end of it all, I looked like a raccoon; a sexy raccoon. I smirked at myself in the mirror and put on some lip gloss. I was thankful that I had chosen my outfit beforehand because I was dressed in minutes, the whole look was pulled together and I still had twenty minutes to spare. I used them wisely, filing and buffing my nails and throwing on a coat of bone colored quick drying polish.

I slipped on my coat with confidence and swaggered down the hallway and down the stairs, stumbling on my boots only once. I stocked my handbag with some cash, lip gloss and my ID, I was excited, this was starting to be fun. My stomach did flip flops in anticipation of what would happen tonight.

"Do I look alright?" I asked Charlie, unable to resist doing a little spin in front of him.

He looked up from his chair and did a double take, "Bella?" he stood up and walked up to me studying me closely. "Are you wearing makeup?"

"Yeah, does it look stupid?"

"Well, it's a little heavier than I'm used to with you, but you look…you look so grown up."

"Thanks dad." I gave him a gentle hug, in fear of messing up my hard work.

"But, don't make a habit out of it."

"Yes chief Swan." I said making my way to the front hallway. They would be here any minute now.

At nine o'clock on the button, a black hummer the size of Charlie's tiny house pulled up. It looked showroom new, like it had just been detailed and it was dripping with chrome. I opened the front door to get a closer look. The back door opened and Edward hopped out and strode up the walkway. He looked more gorgeous than ever, as he slowly approached. His hair was freshly gelled and styled carelessly so it stuck out everywhere, but somehow remained neat. He had left his coat in the car, and wore a dark brown button down shirt, that was slightly more fitted than the others he usually wore. Across his breast pocket was gold filigree that crept up his shoulder to the back of the shirt which I later found out had tattered angel wings in gold painted on it. His dark jeans accentuated every part of his amazing body perfectly, as always, his sleeves were rolled up slightly, proudly displaying his Cullen wrist band. Around his neck just as proudly, he wore the necklace I had gotten him. As he got closer, I could see that he had shaved, but had intentionally left a thin line of stubble around his jaw creating a manly frame around his face. He looked like a rock star, an edgy, bad boy rock star.

The rock star fantasy quickly dissipated when he flashed his sweet, crooked smile at me and said eloquently in his soft voice, "good evening love." He reached his hand out and led me out onto the porch. He stepped back and looked me over and a huge grin spread across his face. "What have I done?"

"You said dress up, so I did on my terms." I said smiling.

"You look absolutely perfect. I think I'm quite possibly the luckiest man alive." He kissed my hand, "but I already knew that." He winked at me and I simultaneously felt my legs buckle.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes! I'm so excited" I dropped my voice to a whisper, "I told Charlie we were going out to eat."

"I know." He said calmly.

"Can you still hear his thoughts?" I whispered in disbelief.

"Yes, to my dismay I'm still somewhat of a freak." He said coyly. "Come on, it'd be impolite if I didn't say hello to Charlie."

He walked into the house, "Hello Charlie."

"Edward," Charlie said getting up, "Glad you're feeling better. Where's your coat?"

"In my brother's car."

"I spoke to Carlisle, I hope it's alright if Bella stays with you tonight, I have to work late."

"Absolutely, she can stay in Alice's room." He said glancing at me briefly. "I'll get her home early tomorrow." He assured.

"Fine, be safe, both of you." Charlie commanded.

"You make sure you do the same." I instructed at him.

"Bye Bells," Charlie said kissing my cheek.

We got into the back seat of the car and there sat Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were in front. Emmett quickly picked up Rosalie and sat her in his lap to make room for the two of us. Once inside the car Edward quickly slipped into his pea coat, clearly uncomfortable from the cold.

"Hey Bella!" Alice squealed, "I can't wait to see your outfit all together. Nice boots!" she said glancing back.

"It took me an hour and a half to put this together; I don't know how the two of you do it."

"Unlimited time." Rosalie answered.

"Sorry we're a little late." Alice said turning around in her seat so that she could see me, "Edward was doing his hair." She whispered lowly.

Edward narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance, Emmett burst into laughter.

"Edward says you've never been clubbing before Bella." Rosalie said without interest.

"No, I haven't really, do you guys go a lot?" I asked.

"Maybe like once a month." She continued, "Its more Jasper and Alice's thing."

"I love to dance!" Alice said excitedly.

Why does that not surprise me? I thought to myself. "I'll bet." I replied to her with a smile.

"Anyways, this club is pretty cool, and on New Year's they do this thing where they have some kind of activity every hour." Rosalie explained, she was being awfully personable tonight.

"What kinds of activities?" I asked, confused.

"You'll see." She said smugly.

We continued to chatter while we drove, I mostly listened and so did Edward, it was the four siblings who were carrying on about other times that had gone clubbing. I leaned my head against Edward's shoulder and he put his arm around me, and I smelt something, something different, was he wearing cologne?

"Are you wearing cologne?" I whispered in his ear.

His cheeks flushed a little at the suggestion, how adorable. "I might be," he whispered back.

"Why? You never wear cologne."

"I never had to before." He stated in a whisper.

"You still don't need to. I can still smell you." I said smiling, "it's more subtle, but it's definitely there."

I saw him smile to himself. "It smells nice though." I whispered.

"Thank you." He said tightening his grip around me a little.

"Can you still smell me?" I asked quietly.

"Every second you're with me."

"Really? Still?" I was impressed.

"Like you said, it's more subtle, but it's definitely there."

It didn't seem like we had been driving very long when Jasper announced that we had arrived. I peered out the window and saw a very ordinary stone building with a velvet rope around it marking a walkway. The line was wrapped around the building and I wondered if we would be able to get in, my heart sunk at the prospect of having to turn around and leave. Jasper got out of the car and handed his keys to a valet with a few bills.

"Just follow our lead," Edward said lowly in my ear as he helped me out of the monstrous vehicle.

"Okay." I said.

I figured we would get at the end of the line and wait for our turn, but Jasper had other plans. He walked along on the outside of the velvet roping and to the front and unhooked the latch and let Alice in. People in line started giving him dirty looks and muttering to one another as they marveled at his boldness.

"What is he doing?" I hissed at Edward.

"Just wait." He whispered back with a smirk.

"Sir, you're going to have to, oh, Mr. Cullen!" The bouncer started, "We weren't aware you were coming tonight please, follow me, hello Alice,"

"Hello Gary, how are you?" Alice said musically, slapping on a prize winning smile.

"Just fine, thank you. Are the others with you tonight?"

"Certainly," she said grinning.

Jasper held the rope back and Emmett and Rosalie stepped forward, Edward put his hand on my back and gently pushed me forward.

"This is Bella swan, she's with my brother." Alice explained

"Hello, Miss Swan, any friend of the Cullens is a friend of mine. If you need anything, please let me know." Gary said.

"Thank you." I said, unsure.

We were all in front of the door, and Gary said, "I'm going to need to check IDs; my boss is standing right inside."

"Of course." Jasper purred, his southern gentlemanly manner shining through ever so delicately. He handed Gary his and Alice's ID, the rest of us followed suit.

"Looks good to me." He said smiling, "you folks have yourself a good night." Gary held the door open for us and hundreds of people waiting in line watched us go in before them. In the corner of my eye I saw Jasper slip Gary a handful of bills.

I felt like a celebrity walking in, people watched us from every direction, Edward put his arm around my waist and strode in alongside me. As we walked down a long tunnel esque hallway I could hear the music getting louder, the hallway itself was full of red light and curtains of silver beads spilled over the walls on all sides. We reached the end and entered the main club. The dance floor was down a handful of steps and in the center of the room. It was immense, music was pulsating all around us and there were four fully stocked lit up bars in each corner of the room. High rise tables and booths were everywhere, the lighting effects were amazing, I couldn't take everything in all at once. We followed Jasper to check our coats, which gave me a chance to finally check everyone out. Alice had on a flaming red backless halter top that she had paired with black capri pants and black strappy stilettos. A massive red flower was tucked behind her ear to accentuate her raven spiky hair, and she had on bright red lipstick. She didn't look anything short of a Betty Page pinup girl. Jasper was more subdued, with a tight fitting black button down shirt with red pin striping and dark wash jeans. Emmet wore a steel gray Henley with a black design along the shoulder that he left the three buttons undone on. Rosalie, wore a black halter top with a solid gold neck clasp that opened all the way down to her navel in front, her pale white skin shimmered under the strobe light as she adjusted her thigh high black stiletto boots that she wore over a pair of jeans.

Alice was so giddy with excitement that as soon as she checked her coat she had her eye set on the dance floor. She took my hand and started to parade me out there with her. I came to such an abrupt halt that my body almost pitched forward.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked nervously.

"Come on Bella, it's New Year's Eve, you have to come dance with me." She pleaded.

"No I don't," I insisted, digging my heels into the floor. I'm not sure why I even bothered doing that since both Alice and I knew that if she wanted to lead me somewhere, she had more strength in her pinky finger than I had in my entire body to do so with.

"Ugh!" She snorted in frustration. She narrowed her eyes at Edward, "_You_ better come dance with me later."

A look of surprise crossed his face, "How is it that I just got dragged into this?" He asked, looking in my direction. I looked away, offering him no support. Alice was getting frustrated.

"Fine." Alice grumbled, "come on Jazz." Jasper obediently followed her and went to escort her onto the dance floor. "Cute outfit by the way," Alice said on her way by me, "I couldn't have done better myself, I think Rose is jealous." She snickered, I blushed a little and looked at the floor. "We'll see you all later." With that, Alice and Jasper were headed to the dance floor. Jasper wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and they swaggered out together, I watched as they approached the steps and I saw Jasper hitch Alice's tiny frame up onto his waist as she giggled girlishly and he carried her out with him. They quickly disappeared into the flood of people in the center of the room.

"Now what?" I asked Edward.

"Well, I suppose we could…" He started.

"Not so fast," Emmett interrupted, "you two are spending the night with us." He said putting his arm around Rosalie.

"Follow us." She said wickedly. We obediently did as we were told.

Emmett and Rose led us to the largest bar in the club, "have a seat." He ordered. Edward stared at him hesitantly and then shrugged his shoulders, mounting the bar stool in one swift movement. Before I could protest, Emmett had picked me up and plopped me on the stool.

"Could we get some service here?" Emmett bellowed impatiently, banging his fist on the bar.

The bartender angrily turned around and started to say something, but stopped when he saw Emmett. "Emmett! Long time no see, where the hell have you been brother?" He said pleasantly, shaking Emmet's hand roughly.

"Been around," Emmett went on, "listen, tonight is my little brother's 21st, so we need to get him and his lady good and shitty." Edward glowered at him.

"Alright, good enough, good enough." The bartender chuckled, "congratulations man, 21 was a great year for me."

"What Emmett didn't tell you is that his little brother has mentally been older than him for decades now." Edward said acidly to the bartender, smirking and placing extra emphasis on the word 'little'.

"Woah, that's cold man," the bartender laughed shaking Edward's hand. "I like you, what can I get you?"

"Something strong that will shut him up." Emmett snapped.

"Bourbon," I said hastily. Edward threw me a surprised look and then flashed me a secret smile which I quickly returned.

"Lady's choice," Emmett said smiling, "bourbon it is, four of them."

"Whatever you say," the bartender said getting out the glasses.

"I'm not doing this," Edward whispered intensely to me.

Before I could answer him Emmett was beside him, he laid his huge hand on Edward's shoulder, "sure you are, don't worry, Rose and I will take care of both of you. Tonight's a night to celebrate, just relax and be a normal guy for once, freak." He smirked.

The drinks clanged as the bartender placed them on the counter, to my surprise, they were doubles. "Happy birthday man," he said to Edward with a wink.

"Thanks," Edward replied, awkwardly picking up one of the overfilled glasses.

"Alright, let's do this!" Emmett said enthusiastically, he reached up and adjusted the cadet hat he was wearing, and grabbed up a shot glass and handed it to Rosalie, he took one for himself and I hesitantly took one as well.

"Here's to Edward," Emmett said raising his glass, "this is the first night of the rest of his life." He winked at me and we all clinked glasses and downed our drink. Emmett shouted something and slammed his glass down on the bar, upside down, Rosalie and I had no reaction, even though I could feel the thick syrupy liquid sliding down my throat, burning me, I took it like a champ and slammed my glass down as well. Edward swallowed his down quickly and immediately started choking. Peals of laughter echoed from Emmett, "Edward, I think your girlfriend may be a better drinker that you." He teased.

"That's doubtful." Edward scoffed with one last cough.

"Really?" I asked, "Care to put a wager on that?"

"Name your price." He challenged readily.

I hadn't planned on that for a reaction. What I had planned on was him giving me a lecture on alcohol poisoning and the dangers of drinking too much. Instead, he immediately agreed, there was no backing out now I thought. This would be interesting. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair and Edward watched with amusement. I quickly gathered up my gumption and said defiantly, "I don't have one. The deal is we drink the same amount and by the end of the night, the one who's left standing is the better winner."

"Shut up, no way!" Emmett guffawed.

"This could get interesting," Rosalie mused, suddenly intrigued.

"How are we going to know who's had what?" Edward asked, "We're going to lose count after awhile I'm sure."

"Not if we keep score." Rosalie said, fanning herself with a pad of paper.

"Diabolical." Emmett said shaking his head.

"This is not a good idea." Edward warned. Aha, there was the Edward I was used to. I didn't want to let this go now, this would be too much fun.

"You just know that I'm going to win and you can't stand the thought of me being better at something than you." I goaded, "pompous ass."

Emmett and Rose sucked in their teeth at that remark. It was then that I had thought I had gone too far. I monitored Edward's expression to confirm that I had, and then I would promptly beg for his forgiveness. His face remained blank for a moment and then a playful smile made its' way across his lips. "Wreckless human," he teased.

"Welcome to the club." I said defiantly.

He leaned forward and kissed my earlobe, and said softly, "You're on."

Edward and I had agreed on a one beer one shot policy, meaning that we would switch back and forth so as to safely draw out the competition more. For fairness, I chose the beer and Edward chose the shot, we had decided to stick with the bourbon and I chose magic hat 9 beer and so it began.

By eleven o'clock, I had had two shots and was working on my second beer. Edward seemed unaffected, but I had to admit, I was having trouble keeping up with the conversation the four of us were having. I had that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach and I could feel that my cheeks had flushed slightly, but I was still quite lucid. I did notice that Edward was becoming more talkative as the night went on, he usually would settle in the background of a conversation and speak when spoken to, but it seemed like he was holding center stage now. He seemed so much more relaxed, like he was comfortable with himself, whereas before he had been very reserved, but he was still my Edward, which was what I had worried about most. I had been worried that his transformation would render him without a part of him that I knew and loved, but it seemed that the change he had undergone had simply accentuated all that I knew was good about him.

Midway through my thoughts, Alice appeared, a song by Hot Hot Heat was just starting. "Edward, come on it's our song, you need to come dance with me." She said quickly, tugging his arm.

"No. I'm not going out there."

"Edward, pleeeeaasse, the routine, come on."

"No Alice, not the routine, I don't even think I can remember it or even do it anymore." He begged.

"Yes, yes you can."

"Not the routine," Rosalie groaned, Alice flashed her a nasty look.

"Edward, Pleeeeeaaassse." She whined, making her eyes huge.

"Fine," Edward sighed, standing up, "Finish this," He said handing the remainder of his beer to me.

"Nope," Rosalie said grabbing it from him, "it will taint the results." She placed it down on the table.

Alice nearly pulled Edward's arm out of the socket dragging him onto the dance floor with her. Jasper came up the stairs and sat down with us to wait out the song. Emmett reappeared with two shots in his hands. "Where's Ed…Oh God no," he said listening to the music, "the routine?" He asked Jasper.

"The one and only." Rose grumbled.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked, confused.

"A few years ago, Edward lost a bet against Alice and his payment was he had to be her Fred Astaire for one night, and she came up with a routine for this particular song." Jasper explained.

I started laughing, "You mean like Ross and Monica on friends?"

"Exactly," he laughed.

I looked out onto the dance floor, sure enough, there he was, standing out there with her, mostly as a prop for all of her little spins, and kicks and hops that went to the beat of the song. Every so often he'd move along with her or pick her up or dip her or something. He seemed to have maintained his sense of rhythm into his human life. It was really sweet, to watch them together. At one point in the song, Alice reached up and pulled down a pair of sunglasses he had resting on top of his head over his eyes and he started laughing.

"It's really sweet that he does that for her." I said dreamily looking out into the crowd, my eyes focused only on him.

"It's really stupid if you ask me." Emmett snorted.

"Edward's the only one of us who would go along with something like that." Jasper said smoothly.

"Really Jasper?" I said turning to him, "Not even you?"

"Bella, I love Alice more than anything, but even I have my limits. Edward doesn't seem to though." He said thoughtfully.

The song finished and Alice allowed Edward to come back to us, and beckoned for Jasper to return to her, of course, he happily obliged. Edward returned and saw the shot sitting at his seat waiting for him and quickly swigged it. I drank mine and Rose made a note on our scorecard.

It was getting close to twelve and Edward and I were still seated together at our table talking and competing. My head was starting to swim slightly now, and his speech was getting a little sloppy, but we still had our wits about us.

"You do realize," he said taking my hand playfully in his, "that it's almost midnight and you haven't danced with me yet."

"Very good reason for that, I don't dance." I answered.

"Come on love, it's New Years Eve and it's my 'birthday'." He said making quotations with his hands.

"I don't care." I said defiantly. "When is your birthday anyways, do you remember?" I asked as I took a sip of my beer.

"April 23rd," He said. I was shocked to hear it, Edward claimed that he couldn't remember most things about his human life.

"Really? Taurus huh?" I asked thoughtfully.

"To a tee." He said forming a letter T with his two pointer fingers.

"I could see that." I said looking to the side and nodding.

He slowly ran his hand up my foreman and made slow circles around my wrist with his finger and stared intently at me, "please dance with me Bella, one song." I looked back at him; his liquid green eyes were making me melt.

"Fine." I said, exasperated, "one song." I added.

He took my hand and led me out onto the floor. My stomach felt like it was becoming overrun with squirrels. I felt like everyone was watching us, even though surely they weren't. A slow echoey Dido song started to play. The DJ announced that this was the last song before midnight. I stood close to Edward facing him, searching his face desperately for help.

"I won't let you make a fool out of yourself, I promise. Besides, I've done enough of that tonight for the both of us." He teased, crookedly smiling at me.

I put my arms around his neck to feel more secure, he continued to smile, "Relax, it's very easy." I stood frozen and stared desperately into his eyes. "Okay, listen, follow me," he whispered. He leaned over putting his face close to my ear so that only I could hear him, "slow, slow, quick, quick, slow," he instructed, moving my hips for me. "Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow," he repeated. I started to focus on the task at hand, moving as he directed me, like an apt pupil. "Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow."

After awhile the music got louder and I felt safer, like the noise would hide me from everyone else. He continued to distract me with his instruction, and soon he was only mouthing the words to me. I loosened up my grip on Edward a little bit and started to venture out on my own, moving my hips a little bit more, Alice was nearby with Jasper and I looked over at her and she gestured for me to raise my hands up. Slowly, I was able to do so; Edward was cautiously giving me space, just bouncing a little on his own to the beat. The music hit a climax and got louder, a bongo solo was playing against the club beat and at that point, he had slipped behind me and I was against him. I let loose, and swiveled my hips side to side, throwing my hands high up in the air. Everyone else on the dance floor was moving faster too and the crowd was growing thicker and finally I felt inconspicuous. I swiveled my hips more drastically and into Edward, his arm caught my every move as if our bodies had been made for one another. He was perfect to me, everything about him was perfect and made for me. The song's climax went on for too short of a time it seemed, and then got very soft, Edward spun me around pulled me close into him. I gazed up at him and he gently took my arms and placed them around his neck. He held me against him and we swayed to the fading music slowly.

"Ten seconds to midnight…" the DJ announced.

Edward stared at me nervously and just as the music hit a dramatic point, he planted his lips against mine. I held his neck more tightly, kissing him back. Then I felt his lips part against mine, I could smell his sweet Edward smell mixed with his cologne, my heart skipped several beats as he slowly slipped his tongue into my mouth. My knees went weak, he had never kissed me like this before, he had come close, but never this far. I was enjoying it too much, I returned the gesture, his arms tightened around my waist, and his mouth moved awkwardly against mine. I tugged on his damp hair lightly, and his hands pressed into my back, I felt him lift me off the ground a few inches, holding me against him. I could feel his beautiful human heart beating wildly in his chest.

"3,2,1, Happy New Year!" the DJ announced. Edward lowered me to the ground and we just stared at each other in surprise and then the shyness set in for both of us. I felt like I had just gotten my first kiss at a school dance, and it made me all warm inside knowing that Edward had just gotten his. He looked away from me boyishly and his eyes darted down to his feet and then back up to my face. I was so euphoric from what had just happened, that I didn't notice the soap suds that were now dropping from the ceiling in celebration of the New Year. Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Edward, kicking soap everywhere and throwing it at Jasper.

I couldn't stop staring at him, I was in a trance, Edward Cullen had dazzled me yet again, and from the look on his face, it looked like I had done the same for him. As Alice pulled me deeper into the crowd, I continued to watch him and eventually before he was completely out of focus he glanced back at me with a smile the size of Texas on his face.

Alice, Jasper and I screwed around in the soap until it was gone. I headed back up to the table and sat back down with Edward. Alice and Jasper were going outside for a minute and Emmett and Rose were MIA, which just left the two of us. We decided to continue on with our contest, and had another set of shots and beer. Rose had left the scorecard, so I politely filled out what she had missed.

"What time does this place close?" I asked doodling on her paper.

"Usually around two, but we'll get thrown out before then." Edward assured me.

"Why do you say that?"

"You'll see soon enough."

"Are you drunk yet?" I asked blatantly as I noticed that the score was reaching five shots each and seven beers.

"Getting there, you?"

"Absolutely." I confessed, "But I'm still standing and that was the deal."

"Yeah, I lied, I'm pretty trashed right now." He informed me, "you certainly prove to be a worthy adversary, Miss Swan."

"You have no idea." I giggled.

The DJ made the announcement that the champagne contest would start in five minutes and I saw Edward shake his head.

"What? What's the champagne contest?" I asked.

"That is what is going to get us thrown out." Edward said, stammering slightly.

"No really, what is it?" I repeated.

"It's a contest where they gather up a bunch of girls, most of which are intoxicated, and play music, let them get up on the bar and jump around and then the bartenders spray them with champagne. The most appealing girl wins two hundred dollars."

"Who judges?"

"The audience."

"How is this going to get us thrown out?" I asked, wondering if in my increasingly woozy state I had missed something.

"Ro-sa-lie." Edward said, carefully annunciating each syllable of her name and gesturing with his hand the annunciation.

The DJ made another announcement for the contest, last call for all those who want to enter. For half a second, I considered going up there, but I wouldn't want to go head to head with Rosalie or upset Edward.

The contest began; Edward and I ordered another round for the two of us, secretly knowing that this round would be the key to my undoing. The DJ started playing some remix of a heavy rock song and girls of every shape and size were hopping up on the bar preparing to put on their performance. Alice and Jasper appeared by our side suddenly.

"What's going on?" Alice asked.

"What do you think?" Edward retorted nodding toward the bar.

There was Rosalie, in all her glory, standing proudly beside all of the other girls that her perfect face and physical attributes put to shame. She strutted back and forth across the bar, her halter top barely containing her huge breasts.

"I don't understand why she feels she needs to do this." Jasper said seriously.

"Because it involves two of the things she loves most, money and her appearance." Edward answered harshly.

"Why don't you two give her a break? We all like money and value our appearance." Alice said looking at the two of them, "It's just, she's not afraid to admit it. Besides, we spend so much time hiding and trying to cover up who we are, it's nice to be able to go out and act as irresponsible and common as everyone else. It's fun!"

We watched Rosalie prowl back and forth, many of the girls had been booed off or had shied away from the bar by now, but Rosalie was in her prime, and not many others had stuck around to fight her for the win. Finally came the point where the champagne came in. The bartender that had served us earlier shook up a bottle and prepared to spray it all over Rosalie. She would have none of that, she took it from him and poured it on herself, taking a big swig at the end. The crowd howled at her performance. I noticed now, that Emmett was close by, watching her hungrily, she had her eyes locked on him, it seemed that the rest of her display, in her mind, was for him. This whole contest almost seemed liked foreplay to me. I looked over at Edward in curiosity and saw the expression of disbelief on his face as he watched his sister.

"Can you believe that I was the one who was supposed to be set up with her in the first place?" Edward said, incredulous.

In the end, Rosalie won the money, they handed her a stack of twenties and when the song was over, she proudly swaggered back to the dance floor, fanning herself with her winnings. Alice hopped down off the stool chased after her onto the dance floor.

Jasper disappeared again and Emmett joined us, he noticed that I was peeling the label off of my beer bottle.

"Hey did you know that when a person peels a label off a bottle, it means that they're sexually frustrated?" Emmett teased Edward. "Poor Bella."

"Fuck off Emmett." Edward retorted with little interest.

I would have made some kind of smarmy remark in response, but the alcohol was really starting to hit me now. My vision was becoming blurred, and my head was spinning. I couldn't drink anymore or I'd be in a coma by morning. I looked up at Edward to make a comparison, he swayed slowly in his stool but still seemed focused, and I felt like I was going to lose this bet.

He leaned in to me and stared closely at me, "Tell me about your friends in Phoenix." He said, stammering a little at the end.

"Why?"

"Because, I want to know how you have had," he picked up the scorecard and held it away from his face and brought it slowly toward him, trying to read it, "how you have had six shots of bourbon and eight beers and you are still sitting here, talking to me. I want to know what kind of training you've had, so I know what I'm getting myself into next time I agree to something like this." He said as smoothly as his condition would allow.

I started laughing and reached over and touched his hand. I was preparing to answer him when Alice appeared, her voice urgent. "We need to leave, now. Rosalie just broke some guy's arm."

"What did I tell you?" Edward said throwing his hands up. "I told you we'd get kicked out eventually."

"What? She broke some guy's arm? Is he okay?" I asked, alarmed.

"Who cares?" Emmett said getting up, "we've got to get out of here before the cops come and find out it's her."

Edward took my hand and I quickly grabbed my purse, as soon as my feet touched the floor, I was unsteady. I knew Edward wanted to carry me out, but he was stumbling around slightly as well, before I could make my next move, Emmett scooped me up and started walking toward the door, a triumphant look beamed in Edward's eyes.

"This doesn't count!" I shouted at him, "I can walk, just not quick enough to keep up with Emmett and Alice."

"Jasper and Rose grabbed the coats and are coming around with the car; we need to meet them now." She said frantically.

We hurried out of the car and piled into the Hum-v, Rosalie in the driver seat.

"Rose, what the hell? You're breaking guy's arms and shit, they're never going to let us come back here." Emmett said irritably.

"He grabbed me, and I don't like to be grabbed Emmett." She hissed. "And besides I think I just dislocated his shoulder, someone can pop it back in for him later. Nobody saw us."

"Whatever you do, don't tell Carlisle," he instructed.

"Carlisle's not going to care once he sees what you did to Edward and Bella." Rosalie growled.

"I didn't do anything to them. They did that on their own."

"You started it." She said sourly.

"Whatever, they finished it." Emmett said folding his arms behind his head and pulling his baseball cap over his eyes.

"Bella and I are fine." Edward said coolly, lying through his teeth.

"We'll see when we get home." Rose said looking at us through the rearview mirror.

I had no idea what time it was by the time I got to the Cullens, everything around me didn't seem to be really happening; I would be surprised if I could make to the front doorstep without falling into a bush. I had started to doze off when Alice announced that we were home. I was leaning with all of my body weight on my door and I felt Edward pull me away from it as Emmett came around to open it.

"Alright, out you come." Emmett said easily picking me up off of the seat and carrying me toward the house.

This was too much, I could walk, it would just take me a minute, maybe Emmett was trying to prevent any accidents that would cause me to bleed, just in case. I decided that's what it was and let him carry me. I leaned into his massive chest and wrapped my arms around his tree trunk of a neck and sighed against him. His chest vibrated slightly as he laughed quietly under his breath.

We came in through the front door and Carlisle and Esme were close by, but I didn't think that they were truly waiting up for us.

"What happened to Bella?" Esme said rushing into the front hallway, alarmed, Carlisle followed her. Typical, in less than two years I had already achieved accident prone status in the Cullen household.

"Nothing Esme, Bella just had a little too much to drink. Isn't that right sweetie?" Emmett asked me.

"Sure." I mumbled.

"Emmett how could you? She's underage." Esme scolded, her eyebrows knit in frustration.

"How is this my fault?" He complained.

"You were supposed to watch out for her. Where's Edward?" She asked angrily.

As if on cue, Edward came stumbling through the front door noisily, Alice and Jasper close behind, trying to anticipate his next footfall. Rosalie was the last to enter.

"Edward too?!" Esme shouted.

"Honestly Emmett," Carlisle stared with disappointment in his voice, his youthful gold eyes looking over the two wasted teenagers in front of him, "Edward's first night as a human and you get him and Bella, inebriated?"

Edward chuckled softly at that phrase, Carlisle threw him an irritated look and he stopped, or at least made an effort to.

"Again, how is this my fault?" Emmett grumbled.

"Put me down!" I said sharply to him, he slowly lowered me down and I made my way over to Edward as he put his arm around me in an effort to steady himself.

"Rosalie broke some guy's arm!" Emmett shouted, throwing her right under the bus.

"Dislocated." She corrected crossly, I was sure she'd make him pay for that later and I giggled to myself.

Carlisle and Esme looked incredulously at each other. "Apparently Jasper and Alice are the only ones that can control themselves when you six go out." Esme growled, my heart jumped into my throat when I realized that I was being included in her rant of scolding and disappointment, I giggled softly at that too.

"I'm going upstairs." Alice chirped, looking very pleased with herself and headed to the staircase, Jasper following her.

"Carlisle, Esme, honestly, I'm fine." Edward assured them in his most earnest and persuasive tone. I nodded seriously in agreement and then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "No I'm not."

Uncontrollable giggles escaped from me at his side comment, "Shhhh…" I said sloppily, "They can hear you, they're vampires." He must have thought that was hilarious, because his shoulders began to shake violently as he tried to keep his laughter quiet.

We turned and saw that the four of them were staring at us, Esme looked ready to choke us, and Carlisle's look of vague disappointment was starting to turn into quiet amusement.

"Unbelievable." Emmett snorted, "I come home in one piece, sober, and without incident and I get the third degree, Edward and his girlfriend come home so drunk they should be legally dead, and it's comedy hour. He can get away with anything."

"He is the oldest." Carlisle smirked.

"More like the favorite." Emmett muttered. I clapped my hand over my mouth to suppress the guffaw that was preparing to erupt from me.

"I'm going to bed." Edward announced suddenly. He bent over slightly and I unsteadily climbed onto his back and we stumbled toward the staircase.

"Edward, not on the stairs, be careful." Esme called behind us.

"Will do Mrs. C." I said throwing up a hand.

Edward started cracking up, "Did you just call her Mrs. C?" He asked breathless between snickers.

"Oh my God, I so did!" I said smacking my forehead.

"She's going to kill you." He laughed.

We reached the top of the stairs and Edward continued down the hallway toward his bedroom, very nearly dropping me several times and banging into the wall once. We reached his door and he slowly lowered me down to the floor. He leaned up against the wall and slid down to a sitting position on the floor.

"What's the matter?" I asked, swaying slightly, but still maintaining my balance.

"I think I'm getting dizzy," He answered.

"Come on, I'll help you to bed," I persuaded, reaching my hand out for him.

"You're looking pretty imbalanced yourself." He said maintaining his old century elegance regardless of how trashed he was.

"At least I'm still conscious." I said grinning triumphantly. He reached up for my hand and let me help him to his feet.

He leaned against the wall and shut his eyes, "Why did you let me do this to myself?" He groaned remorsefully.

I managed to focus out of my stupor for a second, "Are you really feeling that badly?" I asked seriously.

"No, but I was hoping to spend more time with you tonight, but I don't think I have the stamina to do so now." He said smiling sleepily.

"That's okay, we have plenty of time." I assured him. I leaned forward and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Do that again," he said continuing to smile, eyes still shut. I happily obliged to his request.

"And again," he said more playfully, I kissed him again, keeping my face inches away from him. He smelled like the club, the distinct scent of fog machine chemicals lingered in his hair, but under that, I could still smell him.

I kissed him again and this time he took the back of my head and pulled me toward him. He moved his mouth fiercely against mine, jamming his tongue down my throat. Whatever nervousness and shyness between us that was present in the club had dissipated. I grabbed at fistfuls of his hair and pulled him closer to me. He started to move toward his bedroom door, pulling me along with him. I opened my eyes for a second and saw him reach behind him and clumsily rattle open the door. He pulled me along with him into the bedroom, letting go of me for a second to pull his coat off and throw it on the floor. I heard his keys clang loudly as he pulled them out of his jeans pocket and threw them on his bureau I frantically pulled my coat off and let it drop at my feet. His wallet hit the floor with a loud thud. He grabbed my head again with one hand and started kissing me again, with the other hand he clicked the button of the remote to his stereo, loud alternative rock started playing, he threw the remote across the room. With both of his hands available now, he scrunched his fingers in my hair and locked the other hand around my waist. I pressed myself up against him, wrapping my arms around his neck, it wasn't close enough, I needed to be closer to him, very uncharacteristically for someone like me, I hitched my leg up on his hip. His breathing became more rapid, my heart was beating a mile a minute, and I was turned on by his forwardness, I had an overwhelming urge to cry out or growl. One of his arms caught my leg, holding my thigh tightly, his other hand moved to my lower back. He started to move forward toward his bed, lifting me slightly so I wouldn't fall by grabbing my other thigh, he laid me down, a little more roughly than he intended I think. I didn't care, I welcomed this, I wriggled back on the bed slightly and he climbed in on top of me, not putting too much of his weight on me. I breathed hard as he pulled away and stared at me fiercely through his dark eyelashes. I sat up a little and went for his neck, running my mouth over the length of it, biting him softly; I think I heard him groan. I breathed hard in his ear and he kissed my bare shoulder. I almost started moaning, I lay back down on my back, because I was starting to feel dizzy. He eagerly clamped his mouth over mine, I clutched at his shirt and he ran his hands over my hips. I wondered how far this would be taken, but then went back to enjoying Edward's warm body all over mine. He kissed my neck, breathing heavily and I could smell the alcohol on his breath, it was hypnotic to me, I was swooning. He glanced up at me and caught my eye, and for the first time since I'd known Edward, he had a look of complete gratification about him. He dropped his eyes seductively and moved down the front of me, his face came close to my chest and moved along to my stomach and waist. He stopped there, slipping my shirt up carelessly, exposing my navel. How far _was_ he going to take this? I grabbed the comforter in nervous anticipation.

I felt his warm, soft mouth against my skin, he kissed my stomach over and over and I thought I would explode at that very moment. He curled both of his arms around the small of my back and lifted me slightly, straddling me. He buried his face into the curve of my hip that the low rise jeans I was wearing exposed. I felt his tongue against the blade of my pelvis, I pulled at his hair roughly with pleasure. I almost felt the need to wrap my leg around him, but I decided to air on the side of caution. He ran his mouth over my stomach again, kissing me and then making wide circles with his tongue. I grabbed at his shoulders, massaging them hard, he slowed down a little, I felt his body relaxing against my touch, he rested his cheek against my stomach, kissing it softer now, and then, he came to an abrupt stop.

"Edward?" I said breathlessly. He gave no response. "Edward?" I said a little more loudly this time, sitting up. I looked down at him; his handsome face still against my bare stomach, his arms still curled around my hips, and saw that he was out cold.

I sighed loudly and flopped back down on my back. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair trying to calm myself down, my hormones raged like an angry sea inside of me. I took a deep breath and smiled, looking down at my hopelessly devoted, passed out drunk, ex vampire boyfriend. "I win." I whispered.


	24. Chapter 24 Human Time

**I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 24**

"**Human time"**

The Olympic peninsula was the dreariest, rainiest area in the continental U.S... It rained nearly eighty percent of the time; it figured that on a day where I actually hoped for rain, the sun was shining brilliantly through Edward's bedroom window. I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock, it was almost eleven in the morning. I looked over to my left and some kind of lump of human was sprawled out beside me, breathing loudly; Edward. I rolled out of the bed clumsily and ambled over to his dresser, casually I went through a few drawers eventually finding a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that I had no idea why he had. I wandered down the hallway and into the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I could see that my carefully applied makeup and styled hair that was once so fashionable and mature, was ruined. Dark circles were under my eyes, where my eyeliner had smeared, my hair looked like an abandoned bird's nest and a red mouth shaped mark that I suspected was a hickey was forming on my neck. I got in the shower, shaking out all of my barrettes and bobby pins I had used to secure my hair the night before. My head was pounding, no, not pounding, reverberating. I hoped that the steam would make me feel better. When I was satisfied that I looked well enough to reenter the world, I exited the bathroom. For someone with such a slim physique, Edward's clothes were huge on me. I had to roll the waist band of the pants a couple of times to get them to fit appropriately and his shirt was baggy, but smelled fantastic. I breathed in the scent deeply and my head cleared slightly. When I reentered the bedroom, he was up, sitting on the edge of the bed holding his head in his hands miserably.

"How are you feeling?" I asked softly, sitting beside him.

"Why did you let me do that last night?" He groaned, not looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were having fun."

"I was, until about fifteen minutes ago."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" I asked trying to be helpful.

"No, I just have a headache, I'll be fine." I patted his back gently and disappeared back down the hallway returning moments later with a glass of water and two ibuprofen. I handed them to him and he looked at me skeptically.

"Go ahead; take them I just had like four. My head's banging pretty hard too." I said smiling weakly.

He obediently took the medication and gulped down the whole glass of water. "Thank you," he said placing the glass down on the bedside stand. He gave me a meaningful look and smiled at me. "Nice shirt," he said rubbing his fingers against the fabric of the sleeve.

"Thanks, it smells good too." I said inhaling another deep whiff.

"Glad you're enjoying it." He looked down, creasing his forehead at me "where did you find those pants?"

"In your drawer."

"Those aren't mine, those are definitely Emmett's." He said vehemently.

"Ew!" I squealed, "God I thought they were yours."

"I wouldn't go taking any deep whiffs of those if I were you," he teased.

"Gross. I thought they seemed a little big."

Edward stretched his long arms overhead and yawned, he lay back in the bed and I joined him alongside. "What happened last night? What time did I fall asleep?"

"You never really did fall asleep," I explained, "I think you passed out."

A look of confusion came over Edward's face, his eyes moved back and forth slowly as he put the pieces of the evening together in his mind, then I saw a small smile play on his lips. He looked over at me, suddenly remembering where he had left off previously. "I suppose that frustrated you to no end." He said shyly, reaching over and touching the faint bruise on my neck that no doubt he had been responsible for.

I touched my hand lightly to my throat, "oh, right." I said slightly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry about that." He said quietly, equally embarrassed.

"That's okay." I said shrugging it off casually. Really what I wanted to do was grab him and shake him and implore to him that he should do that more often, but I figured now was not the time for another one of my hormonal rants.

"I got a little carried away. It's probably better that I passed out. That wouldn't have been the appropriate scenario for someone's first time." He added. Suddenly the quiet of Edward's usually comfortable room became very awkward and noticeable.

I was shocked by the directness of his comment. Was he serious? Was last night supposed to be _the _night? I pondered that possibility for a moment, it certainly felt right, it had the potential for it…I hadn't realized we had come that close, Edward being as traditional and chaste as he was. Didn't he want a little more time to get used to being human before he took a step like that?

"Don't be sorry…" I started, "I liked it, didn't you?"

His eyes filled with concern and darted around the room, shying away from my face. He nervously touched the back of his neck and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "Actually, last night was one of the best nights of my life." He returned his gaze to me and went on, "every part of it, particularly toward the end of the night. But, if I hadn't blacked out, things may have gone much farther." A pleased grin was starting to form across my face. Edward smiled and turned away from me, shaking his head disapprovingly, "and judging by that response you would have let them."

"Is that wrong?"

"No Bella of course that's not wrong, but I need to have some time to get used to all of these, feelings I'm having."

"What feelings?" I asked interested.

"I can't discuss this with you right now." He said firmly.

"Why not?" I asked sitting up, headache pain ebbing in me slightly.

He sat up too, "listen love, I'm trying to get used to being human again. It's only been twenty four hours, most people wait eighteen, twenty years before they jump headlong into a physical relationship." I opened my mouth in protest, he quickly placed his warm hands on either side of my face, "I'm just asking you for some time." He said slowly, locking his eyes on mine.

"You're not going to make me wait twenty years are you? I know time passes quickly when you're a vampire, but that's like centuries for a human in a monogamous relationship."

"Is that what this is?" He teased, I playfully slapped him in the arm, and he chuckled softly wincing slightly at the pain of his hangover. "I promise, it won't take twenty years, you can be sure of that. The way I'm feeling these days I'll be lucky if I can wait two months. Besides, when it does happen, it shouldn't be because of some kind of drunken romp. You deserve to be treated like a treasure, not a," he searched for the words crinkling his brow in frustration, "blow up doll. We'll save the drunken romp for the second time around."

"You're not going to plan this out with some romantic getaway or rose petals or candles or anything right? Because that's really hokey," I said smirking.

"Actually I was going to hire a violinist and draw you a bath." He said smirking back.

"I'd rather be treated like a blow up doll."

"That's disturbing," he said darkly.

Fine, I thought to myself, if he needed more 'human time', he could have it. He could have it because I saw what I needed to see last night. I saw right through Edward Cullen. I saw that beneath the gentle, romantic, responsible, inhibited man I loved was a dark, passionate, sensual man that I wanted. My breath caught in my chest a little as I remembered the feel of his face against my stomach and his tongue on my skin, I swallowed hard as Edward reached over and took my hand in his. Yes, I could wait for the two sides of his personalities to meet, I had a feeling it would be worth it.

"Bella," he said, interrupting my train of thought, "I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I know that over the past few months everyone has been telling you that you're going to have to take care of me, and watch me and all that now that my situation has changed slightly. But, I don't want you to feel as if you have to do that." He said carefully.

"Do what? I'm not planning on doing anything any differently with you than I already do."

"You're not?" He asked in disbelief.

"No. I'm not going to baby you Edward and ask you how you're feeling every twenty minutes like everyone else does. I just, I wouldn't want people to do that to me if I were you. It's probably," my voice trailed off as I thought of the phrase that best fit the circumstances, I tapped my fingernail against my chin thinking, "It's probably, I don't want to say, difficult, being you right now, but it's certainly an adjustment and I understand that. Whatever you're feeling or craving or thinking right now, is none of my business. If you want to go out one night and get drunk and rowdy, that's your prerogative, if you want to eat an entire package of cookies for dinner and not brush your teeth, that's your business. I'm not going to tell you how to run your life, but if a time comes when I think you're doing something to hurt yourself or if you want to talk about anything, that's when I'll step in, and only then. It's your life now, enjoy it."

His expression became thoughtful as he tried to digest everything I had just said. He didn't seem surprised with where I stood on the issues lying ahead.

"But just out of curiosity," I said with a smirk, "how are you feeling?" I realized that I really hadn't been able to have a serious and meaningful conversation with Edward since he had woken up the other morning and I missed it.

He chuckled softly, the bed shaking under him, I watched in amazement as the laugh lines around his eyes became more defined. He was more beautiful to me this way then when he was the Adonis that I had become so accustomed to. "Where should I start?" He replied.

"Anywhere, start with your sense of smell."

"That's easy, it's gone. Well not gone, but not as prevalent. For example," he said taking my wrist gently and rubbing his face against it, "before I could smell you as soon as you entered a building, no matter the distance, but now, you still have the same appealing, beautiful scent," he shut his eyes and rubbed my wrist with his nose, "but I have to be much closer to you to get my fix," he murmured.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing." I said breathlessly.

He opened his eyes and smiled mischievously at me, "no, it's not." He replied, setting my arm back down in my lap.

"What about your sight?" I asked interested.

"I'm finding that I'm much more sensitive to light, hence," he said gesturing to his sunglasses on the bedside stand. "I can't see as well in the dark from what I can gather, in one day of being in this…state."

"Your hearing?"

"All of my senses seem to be less pronounced, except…"

"Except what?"

"I'm finding that I'm very moody. Just in the course of a day, I could feel a difference. I feel unbalanced and flighty. It's very disconcerting; I hope it's just my body adjusting to everything."

"Welcome to the world of a young adult." I said flatly.

"I forgot how awful it was." He said miserably.

"It's not that bad," I said climbing into his lap. He rested his arm on my thigh as I draped my arm around his neck, looking brightly into his eyes.

"How do you feel about all of the regular human stuff you have to do from day to day?" I asked, curious to get his whole take on that.

"Such as?" He sounded confused.

"Oh I don't know, eating, sleeping, personal hygiene, etcetera." I went on.

"I love to sleep." He said enthusiastically, "I think it may be the key to my undoing. I feel like I could sleep all day."

I giggled at how quickly he answered me, "that could be a problem, considering we have to go back to school in a couple of weeks and you have a bunch of early morning classes."

"Yes, I suppose I really screwed myself with that schedule."

"Yes, I suppose you did." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, "have you eaten anything yet?" I asked, he paused with his lips still on me.

"Not exactly," he muttered like he was in trouble.

"Edward!" I growled pulling away from him, "you fasted for two weeks and then slept for five days, you drank mass quantities of alcohol last night, how are you still even alive?"

"Should I feel nauseous all the time?" He asked very seriously.

"No Edward. Humans don't generally walk around sick to their stomach twenty-hours a day." I said incredulously.

He shrugged his shoulders as if this were the norm. "You really haven't eaten anything for almost three weeks?" I asked. He shook his head. "Come with me." I said taking his hand; he obediently followed me as I headed down to the kitchen.

Esme was kind enough to keep food in their unused kitchen for me when I spent lots of time around the Cullen house. Luckily, due to Edward's five day coma, the place was stocked with some of my favorites. I started brewing coffee for the two of us, and sat Edward down at the island in the center of the massive kitchen.

"I thought you said you weren't going to interfere." He said raising an eyebrow as he watched me pace around the kitchen grabbing for bowls and spoons.

"I said I would only interfere if I believed you were causing harm to yourself. Not eating for several days on end can be harmful to us humans. The only human allowed to pull that sort of thing is Bear Grylls and he's a professional."

Edward chuckled in amusement as he watched me reach into the cabinet and pull out a box of honey nut cheerios. I figured it wasn't much for a first meal, but after a night of binge drinking, we should both be eating something bland. I spilled some milk over the top of the cereal and cut up a banana, splitting it between the two of us. He was still watching when I put the bowl in front of him and then his face became serious.

He examined the pieces of banana floating in the milk and gave a distasteful grimace.

"What's the matter?" I asked taking the first bite of my cereal.

"Bella, I'm sorry but that looks repulsive."

"It's good," I said, "Come on Mr. Culinary major, cereal and banana, it's a classic pairing."

"I know, but I've never had to actually _eat_ it before." He said swallowing hard.

"I can't believe you're being such a baby about this, you probably ate this sort of thing a dozen times when you were a kid."

"I'm sure you're right, but I can't remember any of that," he argued.

"Would it have been better if I put blood instead of milk in your cereal?" I teased, "Now that's repulsive."

"Very funny." He said glaring up at me over his bowl.

"Just try it, before it gets soggy." I instructed as I took the last bite of my breakfast.

He sighed deeply, angrily picked up his spoon and gave his cereal a challenging look. I watched in amusement, putting my hand over my mouth to avoid laughing out loud at the sight of it; a grown man who, in a previous life had fought vampires, thrown himself in front of moving vehicles and killed wild animals was letting a breakfast food get the best of him. He narrowed his eyes in discord at me. He lowered his spoon into the bowl and picked up a hefty pile of cheerios and fruit and quickly popped it into his mouth. His eyes shifted side to side as he chewed and swallowed hard, I watched in eager anticipation for his response.

"Ugh, God that's awful." He exclaimed nearly choking.

"Let me try," I said yanking his spoon from him, I scooped up a mouthful and tasted it. "You waited too long and it got soggy, of course it's awful." I said agreeing with him.

I snatched up his bowl and dumped it out and refilled it, with less milk and no banana this time. "Now try it," I ordered.

He took another taste hesitantly, considerably dissuaded from his last cereal experience. "That's much better," he said, relieved.

"Good." I smiled, I heard a slurping sound coming from the counter, the coffee was finished brewing. "Now, it's time to meet your new best friend." I said turning off the burner. I grabbed two mugs and threw a packet of splenda in each. Edward watched curiously as he finished his cereal. I filled the two mugs three quarters of the way with the New England coffee breakfast blend I had prepared and then topped them off with a heaping glug of hazelnut flavored creamer.

I eagerly put the full mug in front of him and said, "Now try that."

He wrapped his hands around the warm mug and breathed in deeply, "that actually smells very pleasant." He said looking up at me hopefully.

"It is pleasant, and the caffeine in it gives it a vital purpose Mr. I love to sleep." I said sipping mine.

He smiled and took a slow sip making a slurping sound, quickly wiping his mouth in embarrassment. A contemplative look crossed his face as he took in the flavor he was experiencing, and then was replaced by a look of satisfaction. "That's fantastic."

"Another victim is taken." I teased, sipping deeply from my own mug.

He finished his entire cup of coffee in a matter of moments, "how much of that do we have left?" He asked nodding his head toward the coffee maker.

"I'll put on another pot." I sighed climbing off my chair.

"You're going to have to get home to Charlie soon." Edward said as he started on his third cup of coffee.

"Yeah I know, so much for getting me home early." I said morosely.

"I'm glad you stayed."

"I am too."

"Bella, I meant what I said about you not having to worry about me."

"I know." I replied.

"I don't think you do," he stood up and walked over to where I stood at the counter and placed his hands softly on my shoulders. "We have plenty of time to be together when we get back to Alaska, but we're only in Forks for a few more weeks. You have a life out here other than me, you have friends and family, and you need to see them."

"I will, I mean I do, I mean, but what about you?" I stuttered.

"You need to spend time with Charlie and Angela, and…" His face scrunched up and he sounded like he was going to choke, "Jacob." He regained his composure and continued, "They are all as meaningful to your life as I am and you need to see them. I don't want you hanging around me constantly while we're home because you feel as if I need a keeper. Although," he smiled selfishly," nothing makes me happier than when you are around me. Do you understand what I am saying to you? Does any of that make sense?"

"Of course it does."

"You should go spend time with Charlie. I'm a mess anyways, I need to clean up and possibly take a nap."

I giggled softly, he smiled his crooked smile at me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. "I love you so much," he murmured.

"I love you." I said in a muffled tone because my face was pressed against his chest.

"Come on then, I'll take you home and meet back up with you tonight." He reached for a coat hanging on the wall

"Can I make you dinner? You and Charlie I mean?"

"Are you going to force me to eat cereal again?" He asked hesitantly, putting on his aviator sunglasses.

"Definitely not."

"Then yes, I would love for you to make me dinner."

"It's a date."

When I got home, Charlie was asleep, so hopefully he hadn't noticed that I hadn't come home as early as I had said I would. Around one o'clock he had woken up, by then I had changed my clothes and done a load of laundry and was watching TV leafing through a cooking magazine, in search of the proper thing for Edward's first real meal.

"Good morning Chief Swan." I called from the couch as he made his way down the stairs.

"Hey Kiddo, how was your night?" He yawned.

I turned in my seat and looked at him over the back of the couch. "It was great."

"Where'd you go?"

"Some swanky restaurant in Seattle that Alice likes. Then we went back to the Cullens and just hung out." Lies, all lies I thought to myself.

"Sounds like a pretty tame night." Charlie sighed, settling into his recliner. "What are your plans for today?"

"I was actually planning on hanging around here and then Edward was going to come over for dinner tonight, will you join us?"

Charlie raised a graying eyebrow in speculation, "Edward, is going to eat here? Bella in the two years he's been coming around I've never seen him so much as lift a fork."

"Yes, that's true, he has had some food aversions in the past, but, his culinary major is exposing him to different things." I explained feebly.

"Didn't you say he was a vegetarian?" He asked, shoot, I did say that.

"Um, yeah, but that was kind of a phase he was going through…he's got more…variety in his diet now." I smiled innocently at my befuddled father.

"You're not going to make any of that soy based hippie food that you like are you?" Charlie asked nervously.

"No dad." I grumbled as I pictured the steak and potato dinner I was going to attempt to make. "I have to go grocery shopping, so are you going to have dinner with us or not." I asked in an irritated tone.

"Sure Bells, I'll have dinner with you two."

"Good." I said shutting closed the magazine I had, "I'm going to go to the store." I hopped off the couch and grabbed my jacket and keys.

"Do you need me to do anything to help?" Charlie asked from the recliner.

"Nope, just be here, I'll take care of everything else." I said slipping my arms into my jacket. "I'll be back soon."

Edward was coming over at seven, I don't know why I was so nervous, but I was. I wanted everything to be perfect, and Charlie could see that I was making a huge fuss over everything. Charlie had a dining room, believe it or not, but we rarely used it, not since my mother had left were there more than two of us eating at a time. It was just more sensible for Charlie and I to casually eat at the kitchen table and it didn't seem quite as sad. I knew he still loved my mother and that he missed her and it made my chest hurt when I thought about him spending so much time alone. I wished he would meet someone who was better matched to him than Renee was and that they could be happy together, like Edward and I were. I wished that Charlie could find someone like that someday; I didn't think that it was fair for my father to have to be alone.

Sitting three comfortably at the kitchen table was near impossible, so I decided to set the dining room table for tonight. I scoured the kitchen cabinets for three plates that weren't chipped and found two. The third I decided would be my plate, so I found the one that had the least noticeable damage. I found three glasses that matched one another and put out the silver ware. I even bought an inexpensive khaki table cloth while I was out that came with matching linen napkins that I dressed the table with.

I decided on steak, mashed potatoes, and spiced carrots, a dinner that was considerably manly and comfortable but also dinner party appropriate. I had gone to Whole Foods for the meat and my regular grocery store for everything else. By six fifty, I had pulled the Delmonico steaks off the heat, and put a dollop of herb butter on them, allowing them to rest for ten minutes or so, giving the juices time to redistribute, thus creating a juicy steak, at least that's what Rachel Ray instructs. I mashed up the sour cream and onion potatoes and placed them in a serving dish, rather than serve them out of a pot, like I usually did. The carrots were just finishing up when I heard Edward's car outside. I plated up everything and ran it into the dining room; I quickly lit candles and adjusted my vase of flowers. I felt like I was trying to impress some uppity food critic. I knew dinner wasn't that big of a deal, but that Edward and Charlie would appreciate the effort regardless, Edward would especially.

I hear the familiar sound of Edward's soft knock at the front door and hurried to let him in, grabbing the apron that I had on off of my waist hastily and tossing it behind Charlie's recliner. I composed myself and turned the knob to let him in.

"Hello love," he said warmly. I looked closely at him, trying to pick out what was different about him. Then I figured out that his cheeks were flushed from the cold and I could see his breath when he spoke.

"Hello Edward," I said smiling in amusement at the scarf he was wearing around his neck. I stepped back and let him into the house, still smiling at him.

He removed his coat and scarf and slung them over the banister, I stood close behind him, just watching his movements. His cheeks were still rosy and I reached up and touched him. He rested his hands on my waist, watching me watching him. He playfully shook the cold rain out of his hair, getting my face wet and chuckled lowly. He was clean shaven and wearing a blue button down shirt. I noticed a tiny scratch under his jaw presumptively where he had cut himself shaving and I ran my finger across it.

"Ninety years since I've had to shave, I'm surprised I didn't cut my throat and bleed to death." He said rolling his eyes.

I smiled and lightly kissed the abrasion, "are you hungry?" I asked happily.

"Starving," he said emphatically, "what are we having?"

"You'll see." I said wiggling out of his embrace. I called upstairs to Charlie and took Edward's hand and led him toward the dining room.

"We're eating in here?" He asked surprised, "Bella, I hope you didn't go to a lot of tro…" his voice trailed off as we walked into the room. A look of bewilderment crossed his face as he saw the flowers and candles and food. "Trouble," he said, finishing his thought. He shot me a sideward glance and an endless grin crossed my face. "What's all this for? You never eat in here."

"It's for you, and Charlie of course, the two most important men in my life." I explained.

"Thank you love, it's perfect," he said taking my hand.

I heard Charlie coming down the stairs, "Bells, where are you?"

"In here dad."

Charlie walked in and a look similar to that of Edward's crossed his face. "Bella, what's all this about? Is something going on with you two?" He asked in a panicky voice.

"No dad, I just wanted to do something nice for the two of you."

"Oh. Well, that's great then. Hello Edward." He said gruffly.

"Hello Charlie," Edward said shaking his hand politely.

"Food's going to get cold." I said impatiently, "Edward, can you help me get drinks?"

"Certainly," he answered, picking up the three glasses.

"Can I do anything Bells?"

"No dad, just sit down and relax, we'll be right back."

Edward obediently followed me out to the kitchen and set down the glasses.

"What do you want to drink?" I asked walking to the fridge.

"What do you usually have?" He asked curiously.

"I usually have milk." A look of distaste crossed his face and he crinkled his forehead, I assumed he was remembering the cereal incident from the morning.

"What does Charlie usually have?"

"Beer." I answered.

An even more deep seeded look of distaste crossed his face and his eyebrows knitted together for a moment as I assumed he remembered his hangover from this morning. "Maybe I should just stick with water for now love." He said politely.

Dinner seemed to be going off without a hitch as I watched Charlie and Edward scarf down their food. I was sure that if it were just Edward and I, he would have taken more time to eat. But since Charlie was there he had to portray the typical eating style of a nineteen year old college student that had come home after eating nothing but ramen noodles for five months. I wondered what he thought about it, I would have to ask him later tonight when he cam…then I remembered that Edward wouldn't be able to visit me at night anymore. He couldn't possibly climb up that tree and into my window without causing a disturbance. Not to mention, he would have to drive his car to get here, he couldn't just come on foot any longer and then, where would he park it? And before, if Charlie woke up, he would know and used to be able to move so quickly that he would almost disappear before Charlie came in. I pursed my lips in irritation and stabbed my fork into my last piece of meat and popped it into my mouth.

I watched him and Charlie together, Charlie made some stupid joke that made Edward laugh and I could see the laugh lines around his eyes and perfect mouth appear. I suppose not being able to spend the night with him was a small sacrifice if I could look at that for the rest of our days. He saw me watching him and glanced over at me for a moment with his glorious, green human eyes, the eyes our child might have someday. Yes I suppose I could get over not being able to see him tonight for that.

"Edward, did you get contacts or something?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"No, why?" He answered coolly, cutting a piece of meat and putting it into his mouth.

"Well, aren't your eyes usually brown or gold or something?" Charlie inquired. I had a flashback of the first few days I had met Edward at school and had also noticed the way his eyes would change color. Charlie must have been the one I had picked up that characteristic from.

I felt my back stiffen up and Edward threw me a warning glance for me to keep calm. "Technically, they're hazel, but they look greener on certain days, I'm not exactly sure why." He confidently explained.

That answer seemed to befuddle Charlie a little, but it was satisfactory for now. We eased back into our casual conversation. We finished dinner and moved onto dessert which was store bought from Whole Foods as well, but was delicious all in the same. By the time everything was finished, there was a huge pile of dishes in the sink, I groaned to myself at the thought of washing and putting them away. Luckily, I didn't have to, because Charlie and Edward insisted upon doing it for me.

I stayed seated at the dining room table while they cleared everything away and I could hear the two of them in the kitchen together. I had nothing to do but sit and think. Topaz noiselessly hopped up on the table and head butted me. He was starting to get much bigger now, while still maintaining that kittenish look about him. He purred and stretched out on the table before me. I scooped him up in my arms like a baby and started talking to him. He was doing much better since his surgery and my thoughts briefly went to Juno. It occurred to me that I hadn't even thanked her yet, thanked her for the gift she had given to Edward, to us.

He seemed so much more at ease these past two days, he seemed like he was finally comfortable in his own skin. I felt like it was a new beginning for us, like everything we did together would be a new experience for him. I wondered if he had felt he had lost anything because of his transformation. His power was gone; I knew that for a fact. Edward still remained a strong man, but I could see that it wasn't as easy for him to pick me up as it once was. He said he could still smell me and I was glad for that, he claimed he could still hear other people's thoughts, but I assumed not as acutely as before. I wondered if he still had all of his talents, if he could still run, if he could still play piano, if he was still as astute and brilliant as he had once been. I wondered if all of those qualities were simply a side effect or if they really were once a part of him. I wanted to know what he was like before, because then I would have a better idea of what he was going to be like now. I had so much that I wanted to ask him.

Topaz purred loudly and touched my face with his paw. I roughly grabbed his head, holding back his ears and kissed him on the nose. His eyes bugged out of his head and he smacked his lips nervously and purred again. I was so surprised that he being a stray would let me do anything to him. He had so much trust in me that he knew I would never do anything to harm him. I suppose I could relate. I gently kissed his head and I felt his paw kneading against my arm. "Do you want to hear a secret?" I said softly as Topaz stared up at me, this was a game he and I played, I would tell him secrets. I would put my mouth against his ear and make little whispery swooshing noises, and he would slam his head against mine and purr. My mother used to do it to me, so that's how I related to our cat, I was his mom and he was my baby. I whispered some more in his big, orange, conical earandhe kneaded his paw against my arm furiously. I giggled and nuzzled my face against his furry head. I was startled to see Edward standing in the doorway silently watching me with his arms across his chest.

"What?" I asked defensively. I put Topaz down and as soon as he saw Edward he starting meowing and I realized that it was the first time he had seen Edward in weeks.

"Hey little man," Edward said reaching down and picking him up. He held him midair, inches away from his face and I could hear Topaz purr loudly. He carefully lifted the cat to his shoulder and held perfectly still. Topaz gingerly made his way onto Edward's shoulder and perched comfortably and started chewing at Edward's hair.

"When did he learn how to do that?" I giggled; the cat looked like a trained circus monkey.

"We were working on it before I left for Christmas break. I'm surprised he still remembers." He explained, raising his eyes to the cat on his shoulder.

"He loves you," I said smiling.

Edward rolled his eyes at me and gently held on to Topaz's tail to steady him as he walked to the dining room table to sit with me. Topaz sat with him for a few minutes more and then trotted off to find Charlie. Edward reached across the table and took my hands in his, examining them for a moment and then said, "Bella, dinner was wonderful, thank you so much."

"I hope you liked it." I said shyly, "I really wasn't sure what to make."

"It was perfect, thank you. It means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to me for you to be here with me now." I said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked perplexed.

"Well, it just seems that you've given up an awful lot to be who you are now. I just wanted to thank you."

"Bella, I would give up everything just so I could be with you. Everything else to me is inconsequential. It's meaningless to me if I can't have you beside me."

"Even your personality?" I asked darkly.

"Explain please." He stated sternly.

"I don't know, I was just wondering, if everything, your music, your mind, your strength, all the things you enjoy, if they were just…" my voice trailed off, I nervously twisted a ring I had on around on my finger.

Edward's face looked thoughtful for a moment and then enlightened as he understood what I was getting at, "if they were a side effect?" he finished my question using the very words I had thought of earlier.

I nodded my head slowly making a tight line out of my mouth. I hoped I hadn't offended him. I hoped that he knew that no matter who he was or what he could do I loved him regardless.

A smile crossed his face and he started to laugh softly, "Bella, I can't answer that, it's only been two days. But, I'm fairly certain, that all those things I was able to do in the past, all those things that I enjoyed, will still give me pleasure, but will just be a little more hard pressed to come by. The studying, the reading, the music, I wouldn't be able to do them as well as I could, had I not already had an interest in them to begin with. Just because you're a vampire doesn't necessarily mean you have to be astute and deep. Look at Emmet, he hasn't picked up a book for decades, he probably can't even name the fifty states. However, he could probably recite to you the starting lineup of every basketball team on the west coast for over the last eighty years." He smiled playfully and sat back in his chair. "Rosalie can take my entire car apart and put it back together in an hour. I certainly can't. Who we are in our 'afterlife'" he said throwing up quotation marks with his fingers, "is determined by who we are in our mortal life. Having the powers of a vampire just allows you to become very advanced in whatever you choose to pursue very quickly, but it doesn't change who you really are. I don't think anything can do that."

"Aren't you afraid of what's ahead of you?" I asked, "You never had to be afraid of anything before, but now you're as vulnerable as I am. Now you have to wear your seatbelt when you drive like a maniac."

More laughter on Edward's end of the table, "Bella, that's not true, I was afraid of plenty before."

"But you didn't have to be," I started.

He raised a hand up to quiet me, "Let me finish please. True, I didn't have to be afraid of anyone, bad weather, lean times, sickness, etcetera. However, the thing I was most afraid of was being around you, slipping up in some awful way, harming you, killing you at one point, and now," he said proudly, gesturing at his new self, "I have taken care of that. My worst fear has been vanquished and now I can just enjoy my life."

"Even though it's much shorter now," I said sadly.

"Doesn't matter," he said, "you're safe and we're together, I'll gratefully take whatever time I can get with that piece of mind."

His optimism blew me away; finally after all of this time of him telling me that I should stay away from him, he was asking me to stay with him.

"I'm sorry you never got your long anticipated chance at immortality." He said suddenly.

"No you're not." I snapped playfully.

"No I'm not." He replied with a grin.

"So, your fancy, mysterious, supernatural boyfriend is gone now. Replaced by an ordinary, hungover teenager that will probably go bald and gain hundreds of pounds in the next twenty years," he said, leaning toward me, "any regrets?"

"Not yet." I whispered, leaning in toward him. "Besides, I think you're too vain to let yourself go like that." I accused, looking over his designer clothes and perfect hair.

"Ouch," he said hurtfully. He leaned in closer and kissed me softly on the lips. "Do I still dazzle you?" he murmured seductively as he pulled away slightly, teasing me.

"Even more than before." I breathed as I kissed his bottom lip.

His breathing got heavier and as he leaned in further, I felt his lips brush softly against my neck; I waited in anticipation, my heart in my mouth. I felt him near my ear and I heard him crack a smile, "Charlie's coming." And with that he quickly sat back in his chair with a smirk. I had to admit, that was a very useful talent that he had.

It started getting late on Charlie's watch and Edward was getting ready to leave, he said goodnight to Charlie and I walked with him out to his car. We stood alongside the Volvo and didn't say much.

"soo," I said awkwardly, sticking my hands in my pockets, "no sleepovers anymore I guess." I frowned.

"Probably not love. I'm sorry."

"Not even if you're really quiet?" I asked hopefully, knowing what the answer would be.

He chuckled a little and his breath sent a cloud of fog into the cold night air. "It's not the noise I'm worried about. I'm more worried about falling asleep with you and not being able to wake up in time or not caring to."

Without meaning to, I reached up and adjusted the collar of his coat and buttoned him up in an effort to keep him warm, since clearly the cold affected him now. He smiled shyly at me and kissed me on the cheek. "You should get inside, it's freezing out here. I'll make this up to you, if I'm not able to sleep over any more, then I'll be here all the earlier in the morning."

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise."


	25. Chapter 25 Warning

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 25**

**Warning**

_It was like something out of a Saw movie. The hallway was long and poorly lit. I heard muttering all around me. My hands were bound tightly to something cold and metal. Somehow, I managed to snake my wrists out of my ties and I stood up and began running. I ran as fast as I could, using my hands to feel the walls around me, I stumbled once but kept moving. I saw my target in front of me, as I got closer; it was harder to move my legs. I felt like they were made of lead and I was running through snow with them. I was only a few feet away, and I couldn't move them anymore. I was running out of time, I don't know how I knew this, but I did. The plate glass window was just ahead, I could see the back of his head and shadowy figures standing around him. My legs would not function, I screamed at the top of my lungs, I screamed for help, I screamed for Edward, I screamed for anyone. And then, I saw his head drop back against the chair he was seated in and he was dead. I had lost him again and there was nothing I could do about it. A ferocious agony overcame me as I dropped to the floor and curled into a fetal position. I could feel pain in all of my limbs, my chest, my back, and my head, everything hurt me. Then the blood came, a huge puddle of blood was seeping out of the plate glass and creeping toward me. It was so dark in the hallway that the blood was black, it was inches away from me now, and I couldn't or didn't care to move. He was gone and my life was over, maybe if I just lay there long enough I would drown in the blood, in his blood. I waited for it to come to me. I felt it in my hair and on the side of my face, it was warm and sticky, I could smell it and it sickened me. Then something happened, I heard his voice calling my name, I opened my eyes and looked up. There before me stood Edward, his face was so pale that it almost illuminated the room and to my horror, his eyes had taken on a frightening crimson color. He held out his ghostly white hand to me, and I took it. He pulled me off the ground and drew his cold hand through the blood that was smeared across my face and then he lapped it off his fingers, smiling wickedly._

I woke up screaming and drenched with sweat, Topaz appeared from out of nowhere and put a paw on my leg. I burst into tears and curled into a ball on my bed, my shoulders shook violently and I was freezing. Topaz came around to the front of me where I held my stomach tightly and leaned against me. Sitting up, I unfurled my arms and picked him up and held him against me. He stretched his little body out and put his paws on my shoulder and pushed his face against my head purring into my ear. It was like he was hugging me, as ridiculous as that sounded, but for some reason, I was comforted by it. I would probably be more comforted by this than if Charlie had run in to check on me, because I didn't want to talk or explain, I just felt like crying and not being alone while I did. My sobbing became more controlled and I eased myself back down onto the bed. Topaz curled up by my head and let me use him as a pillow, not seeming bothered by the fact that he was now a very damp cat.

As my thoughts normalized, I wondered why Charlie hadn't come running in, I looked at the clock by the bed and it was six thirty, he had already left for work. I sighed with relief, suddenly glad that he wasn't home and I didn't have to explain that little spasm to him. I started to drift back to sleep again, I was in limbo when I felt the bed move and a warm body slip under the covers with me, Edward had arrived without me even hearing him. I drowsily turned over without even opening my eyes, nuzzling up against his chest. He said nothing, just put his arm around me and buried his face in my hair.

When I woke again he was still there, fast asleep. I watched him silently, listening carefully to his quiet breathing, watching his chest rise and fall. Every so often he would stir or mutter something and it just endeared me to him even more. He looked so peaceful and so beautiful to me, I understood how he was able to spend so much time watching me sleep, it was almost meditative to me. I placed my hand on his chest and felt his heart slowly beat to the rhythm of his breaths. It was amazing to me that he was here, and he was alive and he was mine.

I saw his eyelids flutter and slowly open, as soon as he saw me he smiled.

"Good morning." I whispered.

"Good morning," he replied hoarsely. His smile quickly turned to concern when he saw my face. He touched my cheek and sat up, "what is it? You've been crying."

"Nothing, just nightmares," I said calmly. "I'm fine now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It was just a silly dream."

Edward only stayed until the early afternoon, he claimed to have made plans with Jasper and Emmett, but I think he was trying to make himself scarce so that I would be able to spend time with some of my friends. We only had another week or so before we would have to go back to Alaska and start our second semester and I still hadn't spent any time with Jacob or Angela.

I decided I would go see Jacob, I called beforehand to make sure he was home and then headed up to La Push. I pulled into the familiar driveway and got out of my truck. I was ashamed I had spent so little time with someone who meant so much to me. I believed that Jacob's leaving over the summer had a lot to do with Edward coming back and us getting back together and to top that, my moving to Alaska had alienated me from him even more. I was amazed that he even still wanted to see me; I certainly didn't deserve the second chance he was giving me.

He stood in the front door in a white t-shirt with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey stranger," he tried to sound cool and sarcastic, but his face gave away how happy he really was to see me.

"Hey Jacob!" I said enthusiastically climbing the porch steps. He threw open the door and grabbed me into his gigantic arms, lifting me off the ground.

"How's it going Bells?" He asked with a grin, his perfect white teeth gleaming against his umber skin.

"Great, everything's great, how about you?"

"I'm surviving. Come on inside you must be freezing." I nodded and hurried in behind him. We went to his room because Billy and a few others were watching a game and things were getting pretty rowdy. I politely greeted everyone and followed Jacob down the hallway to his tiny hovel of a bedroom. There were clothes everywhere, dresser drawers hanging open and CD cases all over the floor. Jacob was such a boy, he sat down on his unmade twin bed and I sat in a bean bag chair on the floor.

I glanced around and saw a half packed gym bag. "Are you, going somewhere?" I asked.

"Coming back actually," he answered.

"Jake, where exactly do you go?" I was confused, "what about school and Billy?"

"I sort of, dropped out of school." He said quietly, staring at the floor.

"What? How can you do that? You're a senior! You only have a few months left." I scolded.

"The pack's more important."

"Jacob, I don't understand this, this mentality. Why are you giving up your future?"

"The pack sort of, is my future," he stammered. I stood up from my beanbag chair and sat beside my enormous friend on his diminutive little bed.

I took his hand in mine and stared up into his young face. "I understand that the pack is your family, but what about finding a job and…"

"Bella, you don't understand…" he put his hand over mine and continued, "all this time I'm spending away from home, it's because I'm meeting up with all of the packs in the country because Sam wants me to become the alpha." He gazed up at me with sad brown eyes.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm going to have to lead the pack."

"Through what? I thought that the only time the pack forms is when there are problems with…other supernatural beings." I said trying to keep my end of the conversation very PC.

"Bella, in case you haven't noticed, there are seven bloodsuckers living a few miles away." He said crassly.

I knit my brows together in frustration, "Six, actually. And I still don't understand why you have to be on guard, the Cullens haven't done anything wrong. They keep the peace."

"Bella, that's true but, wait a minute did you say six?"

"Yes." I said impishly.

"Did someone die?" Jacob asked hopefully. I wanted to slap him and he could tell from the expression on my face that he had hit a nerve. "Oorr, move away?" He added flashing me his most charming smile.

"No, nobody died or moved, somebody changed."

"No shit, really? So he's fair game now." A wicked smile crossed his face.

"Jacob, stop it." I said very tensely, remembering my dream.

"I'm sorry Bella, really I am. I'm being an asshole. At least this means that _you_ won't be changing any time soon." He said optimistically.

"Nope."

"Don't tell me you're sad over this?" Jacob said putting his arm around me.

"No, I'm not sad, I'm very happy for Edward, I just, I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen."

"What makes you think that?"

"I keep, having these horrible nightmares." I started.

"Nightmares are normal, some are worse than others, but everybody has them." He said lightly, shrugging his massive shoulders.

"I know Jacob, but, these are really real, and then there's something else." I nervously pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "Edward's sister Alice, you know, the one you call the witch?" He nodded, "well, before we left for school, she told me that if he was able to be transformed, that I would have to look out for him."

"That goes without saying."

"No, Jacob, she said that I had to look out for him because he was going to be in danger. And then," my words starting coming more rapidly, "she gave me a syringe of liquid and told me to hide it from him until I needed it, and she said I would know exactly when I had to use it."

Jacob watched me intently until I had finished my rant. He sighed deeply and stood up, "Listen Bella, as much as I hate to admit this, you and the blo…Edward, have some kind of freaky connection to one another." He started pacing around the small room, "if he's in any type of trouble, you'll know what to do. Besides, haven't you said before that Alice's predictions don't always come true?"

"Yes, but, she seemed pretty concerned."

"Has she mentioned anything else about this lately?"

"No." I said quietly.

"Then maybe the vision has changed."

"But what about these dreams I'm having?"

"What happens in the dream?" Jacob asked.

"Edward dies." I said matter of factly.

I could tell that Jacob was getting irritated, but trying to be a supportive friend. "Bells, I hate to burst your bubble, but Edward is going to die someday, that's a given now. So, it would only be natural that now that you realize that, it's becoming a fear to you, and nightmares are a representation of our fears, not necessarily a prediction. I mean, come on, what do you think you are, the medium or something?" He sat down beside me and nudged me playfully with his elbow.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I said sarcastically.

"Anytime. Now can we please drop this subject? The ex-bloodsucker is going to be fine."

"Okay. Fine. You're probably right. It's just, I can't really talk about this sort of thing with everyone."

"I know Bells. I know you save all your vampire boyfriend problems for me to listen to." He rolled his eyes.

"Who better to talk about my vampire problems to than my werewolf best friend?" I teased, nudging him back.

"You need to find some normal friends."

"Where's the fun in that? So what do you want to do now?" I asked.

Jacob sat and thought for a second, "well, it's too icy to go riding, it's too cold to hang out in the garage, at least for you it is, umm, I have guitar hero and beer."

"How do you have that? You're only seventeen."

"You don't have to be a specific age to buy guitar hero, Bells." He said very seriously.

I rolled my eyes and pinched his arm, "I meant the beer Jake, not the video game."

"Ouch. Geez Bella, you working out or something?"He asked, rubbing his arm.

"Don't try to change the subject."

"Come on Bells, I'm the youngest in a pack of werewolves that I'm going to be leading soon, you gotta think someone's scoring for me."

"Yeah, you probably have a dime bag of pot in your sock drawer too." I said sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact, I think I might." He said as his expression brightened.

"You're so wrong side of the tracks Jacob Black."

"I know, don't you just love it?"

"I do actually." I said smirking at him. He thought I was joking, but I was serious. I loved spending time with Jacob because he was so unrestricted and easygoing. He was on the verge of becoming a pack leader, having the responsibility of a grown man watching over and making the decisions for a dozen people and all he wanted to do was play video games and get high. He was the anti-Edward and I loved him for it. I felt my age around Jacob, I felt like a teenager rather than someone in an adult relationship and it was a good balance every now and then.

"So do you want to play? There's nothing else to do." He said shrugging his shoulders casually.

"Sure, sounds good to me." I said trying to curb my enthusiasm.

Jacob got up and made his way to the tiny color TV he had sitting on his dresser. He turned on the ancient Playstation 2 gaming system he had.

"You go first." He instructed, reaching under his bed and handing a plastic guitar to me.

"I don't know how to play," I said shyly.

"All you do is select the song you want to play and then as the notes come up, you hit the coinciding colored button while strumming. You do the first song; I'll do the next one."

"Can't you do the first one, so I can see how to do it?"

"No." Jacob said, opening his sock drawer.

"Why not?"

"Because, I have to roll," he said dangling a bag of pot in front of him and smirking.

"Love you." I said as I hit the start button on the guitar.

I don't how he did it, but Jacob could very easily get away with smoking while Billy was home. His tiny bedroom was filled with a blue hue, and I'm sure you could smell it all over the house. Jacob had stuffed a towel under his bedroom door to help prevent the smoke from escaping, but the house was so old and rickety, it was inevitable that some would slip out.

"How are you able to do this?" I asked as Jacob puffed away while he finished up a rolling stones song.

"What do you mean?" He asked handing the guitar to me and holding his joint between his fingers.

"I mean, Billy's like, right down the hallway. This stuff isn't exactly odorless. How does he not know?" I said selecting a Foghat song.

"Bells it's not that he doesn't know, it's that he doesn't care." He said taking a deep drag off his joint.

"How is that possible?"

"Come on Bella, peace pipe, warrior journeys, all that shit, it's part of our culture. He'd probably join us right now if he didn't already have company over." He barked as he started coughing. "This is great stuff," he commented.

"That's amazing." I mused, "oh crap, I'm in the red!"

"Hit star power! Hit star power!" Jacob shouted excitedly.

I launched the neck of the guitar back and the crowd on the screen cheered for me, I quickly regained my spot and continued the song as my joint burned in the ashtray.

"Hey, are you going to finish that, cuz that stuff doesn't grow on trees." Jacob complained as it continued to burn.

"Shhh. I'm almost done." he rolled his eyes at me and paced around the room in a circle. I finished the song out at 85% and almost threw the guitar at him. "I could have done better if you weren't harassing me." I grumbled at him.

"Easy there princess, you'll get another turn," he teased taking the guitar from me. "Come on, that thing is burning like a stick of incense over there, if you're not going to finish it I will." He said gesturing at the ashtray.

I stalked over to the ashtray and grabbed up the joint. I strutted back over to Jacob, holding it like a model for a pack of Marlboros and he stared at me in fascination. "I don't know if it's right, but you look pretty hot standing there like that." He said raising an eyebrow at me.

I walked closer to him and took his army style black baseball cap off his head, his ebony hair fell out all around his face. He looked pretty hot too I thought to myself. I placed the hat on my own head slightly sideways, punk style. I took a long drag off my joint, held it for a minute, letting it fill my lungs to the point of suffocation, and then slowly blew the sweet smelling smoke out in Jacob's direction. He looked like he licked his lips slightly and took a step toward me.

"In your dreams," I said in a husky tone.

"If you only knew." He sighed, sitting back down and selecting a new song. I sat down with him, on his lap, my head was swimming. "You're killing me Bells," he said putting his arm around my waist. I took another drag and looked at him. He had aged since I had seen him last, his soft boyish looks that I had grown used to that winter we were together all of the time were becoming more chiseled and masculine. He could easily pass for a twenty year old at this point. His chest and shoulders were huge and muscular, I was sure that in his normal form he could now dwarf Edward's strength at this point, let alone when he phased.

Jacob continued to play the song he had selected glancing at me from the corner of his eye every so often. Finally he finished his song and turned to me and said, "What? What's the matter? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You just, you look so much older Jake. You're very handsome."

He seemed taken aback by the compliment, "thanks Bells, that's nice to hear."

"I only speak the truth." I said, not sure why I had just quoted Moulin Rouge.

"So," he said putting down the guitar and reaching into his pocket and pulling out a third joint, "I have one more, wanna go half with me?"

"Absolutely," I said with a grin.

We had given up on guitar hero after losing the battle with Slash several hundred times and now Jake and I just lay on the floor together passing the joint back and forth. The small bedroom had become hazy and Jacob cracked the window slightly. It was very windy today for some reason and I could feel the arctic breeze playing against my face.

"Tell me more about why you're becoming the alpha," I encouraged.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your friend and I care about you."

"There's not much to tell, I am directly descended from the ancient chiefs so I'm next in line," he replied.

" Why don't you want to talk to me about this?" I demanded a little more forcefully than intended. "I thought you said before that there was no way that you could be the alpha with Sam in the picture. Is he going somewhere?"

"Sam's leaving Washington. We're all pretty upset, but his wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer and he has to move to Boston to get her the care that she needs."

"That's why you've been gone so much." I said quietly, finally understanding.

"I have no other choice." He said very seriously looking over at me with his sad brown eyes.

"Is this what you really want Jacob?"

"Bells, it doesn't matter if it's what I want, I have to do it because there are other people depending on me. I have to be an adult and just do it. They'll be time for me later, but the pack, they're my family, I love them, and I can't let them down."

"That's a very heavy burden for a seventeen year old to shoulder." I muttered to myself.

Jacob continued to stare at me intently and locked eyes with mine. He slowly looked away, folding his long, dark arms behind his head and said, "It is what it is."

We had finished the last of the pot and my head was swimming. Jacob had become very talkative, more so than usual and his pupils were glassy and dilated. He spent hours telling me about the other packs and the legends of their tribes and I sat and listened until he ran out of things to say. Then, my phone rang, startling both of us. I looked at the screen and it said it was Alice calling.

"Hello?" I said hesitantly.

"Bella, it's Alice, would you be able to stop by for a minute over at the house?"

"I'm kind of in the middle of something right now Alice," I said a little annoyed.

"I know, you're with the dog, he can come too if you want."

Alice was just as bad with her prejudices as Jacob was and it infuriated me to no end. Ironically, they'd probably get along quite well if given the chance. "I don't think that would be such a good idea. He wouldn't go for that."

"Okay, what if I met you guys somewhere instead, how about Forks high school?"

I knew Jacob could hear everything she was saying, his hearing was impeccable, I glanced over to him as if to find an answer or an excuse not to go. I wanted him to come with me, I loved Alice, but I wasn't at her beckoned call. His expression was warm and he nodded at me. I mouthed the words, 'come with me' and he said quietly, "Sure, sure," I smiled at him.

"Yeah, that sounds fine Alice, Jacob and I can get there in twenty minutes or so."

"Great! Thanks Bella! I'll see you soon," and with that, she hung up.

"Thank you." I said emphatically to Jacob.

"Sure, sure. What's all this about anyways, she sounded like she was up to something." He said suspiciously shifting his doped up eyes side to side.

"She usually is, are you sure you don't mind coming?"

"No, I don't mind, the witch isn't so bad anyways, I met her a few times, she seems cool enough. It's _him_ I can't stand; he's so uppity and serious. He thinks he's better than everyone."

"He's actually a lot more self conscious than people think." I protested calmly in Edward's defense. "If you got to know him, you'd see that."

"I don't want to get to know him Bella." He said darkly, frowning. I flashed him a furious glance, but then let it soften. It would be difficult for Jacob to get to know Edward; there were too many conflicting interests. "I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings," he continued. "I said I would go with you to see the witch, like I said, I don't mind her. Besides, it just means I get to spend more time with you."

"You must be pretty baked to be associating yourself with a Cullen."

"Most likely." Jacob said standing up and grabbing a sweatshirt off the floor and sniffing it. "This smells clean enough," he confirmed, sliding his arms into the sleeves.

"You're so nasty." I said, getting up and grabbing my coat.

"What can I say, I'm an animal."

Neither one of us should have been driving in the state we were in, but I felt as if I were less likely to get pulled over if I drove, so we climbed into my truck and headed back to Forks to meet up with Alice. I parked in the abandoned parking lot and tried to think of where she would be, before I could make a coherent decision, she was tapping on my driver's side window.

I clumsily stepped out of my truck with Jacob right behind me. "Hey Alice!"

"Hi Bella! I'm sorry I interrupted your afternoon, I won't keep you long." She looked up and saw Jacob's huge form lumbering toward her, "hello dog." She said gruffly.

"How's it going witchy?" He replied nastily.

"I don't know what you see in him." She said lowly so that only I could hear.

"Alice…" I grumbled impatiently.

"Right, I'm sorry, Jacob, come closer so you can hear, I know Bella has already mentioned some of this to you." Jacob stepped closer and Alice opened her mouth to continue, and then paused again. She sniffed a little in Jacob's direction and then took a piece of my hair in her delicate hands and put her nose to it, "have you been smoking…pot?" she grinned, raising an eyebrow.

Only in Forks could I be sniffed by someone and consider it to be a normal greeting I thought to myself. "Alice, what's going on?"

She giggled her musical twinkly laugh when she noticed my foot tapping impatiently. "Ok, Jacob, I assume that Bella has told you some about Edward's recent…experience."

"Some," he replied crossing his arms across his chest.

"Has she mentioned anything about what she and I discussed prior to them leaving for Alaska?"

"All I know is that you had a vision that somewhere along the way, he might get into some trouble while in his new form." I noticed that he had conveniently left out the part about the syringe she had given me and I was grateful.

"Alice, what is all this about?" I asked cautiously.

"I had the vision again. This time, there was more to it."

"Tell me," I said intensely, grabbing Jacob's hand in fear. He seemed startled by my sudden reach for him, but squeezed my hand back gently. I watched as Alice's curious gold eyes dropped to our interlaced fingers.

"I still don't know what's going to happen to him, or when, but I have a feeling that someone is going to betray him, someone he knows, someone in Forks. This someone, is not going to be the one who physically harms him, but they are going to be the one that can set things in motion."

I didn't know why she was telling me this, I didn't know why I had to drag myself out into the cold and rain and meet her somewhere with Jacob so that she could give me a five sentence synopsis of a vision that may or may not come true. This could have been a telephone conversation easily. My thoughts started turning at lightning speed, who did Edward know out here that could play a part in harming him? He kept mostly to himself out here, unless it was someone in his family or in my family, but Charlie would never, and then I thought, Jacob. I turned and looked at him and he immediately got on the defense.

"Wait a second," he said dropping my hand and throwing his arms up in front of him, "Bella, I have my differences with him, but I would never, I could never do that to you!" He threw a nasty look at Alice, "Do you see what you started?!"

"Jacob, you said yourself earlier 'he's fair game now'." I said in an accusatory tone.

"Bella, I was joking! I hate the son of a bitch but if it ever came down to it, I could never k..."

"It's not Jacob." Alice said firmly, clenching her fists at her sides.

"Of course it's not me!" He growled.

"I'm sorry." I said shaking my head, "I'm just…I've been having dreams about this." I said turning to Alice.

"What did you say?" She whispered, her voice shaking a little.

"I've been having dreams about Edward getting…" I didn't want to say what I was really seeing; him getting killed, so I conveniently left that out. "hurt." I said finishing my thought. "I just had one last night." I said sadly, "they're becoming clearer and more detailed each time I have them."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Alice asked, hugging me against her. Jacob rolled his eyes and started pacing around the truck.

"I didn't think anything of it."

"What do you see?" She asked.

"I don't know, a long hallway, a plate glass window, shadowy figures, his head falling back," my voice cracked a little as I said it.

"You need to keep an eye on him." She told me, trying to keep herself calm.

"Why?! Why is that Bella's responsibility?!" Jacob asked angrily as he stalked back over to us. "He decided to do this to himself; Bella didn't ask him, it's not fair to make her his babysitter."

"That's not what I'm saying, mongrel." She growled.

"Then what exactly are you saying?" I asked suddenly, furious with her. "He's not a child Alice, he's a grown man, he's probably more mature and aware of himself than I am and honestly, nobody is giving him any credit. I wasn't put on this earth to chase around after him like everyone says I should. Edward doesn't even want me treating him like that and as far as I'm concerned everyone is overreacting to this."

"Who's everyone?" She asked aggressively, stepping toward me, Jacob stood protectively nearby. I wished Edward was there so he could squash the issue and get her to back off of me.

"You, Eleazar, even Juno for cripes sake and she doesn't even give a damn about him!"

"Who's Juno?" Jacob asked suddenly confused.

"She's the one who transformed him," I explained offhandedly.

"Juno." Alice said breathlessly.

"What?" I asked.

"Juno. You're right, she doesn't give a damn about him, but she knows him, she was hesitant to change him, what if…oh no Bella, no, no. I can't believe she would, unless somebody," her voice trailed off.

"You think Juno is going to cause a problem?" I snorted.

"Is she a bloodsucker too?" Jacob said, Alice gave him a dirty look, but I knew he was creating a thought process.

"Yes." I replied, exasperated.

"Doesn't your kind have a check and balances system?" He asked turning to Alice, "the pack does, if someone fucks up, we have to answer to someone, what about you all?"

"We have the volturi to answer to." She shuddered.

"Then maybe, they find out about your little arrangement, and it pisses them off."

"That would certainly be a possibility. I can't believe that Edward didn't consider that when he went through with this." Alice said, folding her arms over her chest crossly.

I suddenly remembered the conversation Edward had had with Eleazar in the fall about the same subject. "He did though." I said slowly, "He thought of a plan if the volturi caught wind of this."

"Could you enlighten us please?" She sung.

I looked over at Jacob pleadingly for his understanding, "Go ahead, we're listening." He said hotly.

"Jacob, last year, Edward and I got into some trouble with the volturi, the only way they let us go was if he promised to change me." Jacob shut his eyes tightly and looked nauseated at the thought of it. "His plan was to hide out for awhile at school and if the volturi came to check up on his promise, which he has no way of fulfilling now, would be to lead them to believe that when he did try to change me, he went too far and killed me. Then, grief stricken he went to the pack and told them what he had done and you destroyed him. That was his plan as to how to keep everyone safe and to keep himself human."

"That's a very lucid and well thought out plan." Alice said, sounding impressed, "I just wished he had mentioned something to us about it."

"He probably would have eventually." I replied.

"So where does this leave everyone now?" Jacob asked trying to stay calm.

"I guess we need to watch out for Juno," Alice said sadly. "I still can't believe that she would do something like this."

"We don't know for sure if that's what's going to happen." I said trying to reassure her.

"This is true, but it's a possibility."

"Where is this Juno person?" Jacob asked.

"She owns a veterinary practice the next few towns over. I think she may live near La Push, but I can't be certain."

"What does she look like?" Jacob asked.

"She looks like an Eskimo. Dark hair, angular features, she doesn't hunt people; she practices the same feeding habits as we do. I think she lives alone." Alice explained.

"I'll have the pack keep an eye on her and on the borders in case she has any unexpected visitors." Jacob said, defeated.

"I'll keep an eye on her at work." Alice confirmed.

"Jacob, you don't have to say that." I said sadly.

"Bella, the pack's duty is to protect the humans from the bloodsuckers," Alice scowled, and he shot her a glance, "with the exception of a few. Anyways, it's our job to know what's going on, and with Edward…," he choked saying his name, "he's a human now too, so I legitimately _have_ to watch out for him and the fact that he's with you, if he's safe, that means you are too."

I could tell that it broke his heart to say those words, but I knew he meant them, and I loved him for it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him so hard that I thought I was going to strangle him. He hugged me back and I whispered in his ear, "thank you Jacob.'

"I'd do anything for you Bells, you know that." He whispered back, his voice shaking.

"We can't tell Edward about this." I said pulling away from him.

"I agree." Alice nodded. "Besides, if any of this comes to fruition he'll figure it out, he has impeccable instincts." Her eyes suddenly got wide, "Bella, do you still have that syringe I gave you?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yes," I replied, shuddering at the thought of it.

"Is it hidden well?"

"I think so."

"Good. Keep it handy, just in case."

"Alice, what is _in_ that thing? It's creeping me out."

"You don't need to know what's in it, but you don't need to be afraid of it either, just be careful and keep it hidden."

"I don't understand." I said shaking my head and looking at the ground.

"You don't need to."

Alice didn't linger long after the crux of the discussion had been addressed, she knew I was spending the day with Jacob and was trying not to interfere. She said goodbye happily and pranced off into the woods, her spiky black hair bouncing behind her. She would probably get home faster on foot than Jacob and I would in my truck.

"I get pulled into some of the weirdest conversations when I hang around with you." Jacob grumbled as he climbed into the truck.

"Right, cuz the conversations you've had with me about all your crazy wolf sex and phasing and all that is normal." I said gruffly sliding in next to him.

"It's normal for me." He said with a wide grin.

"Are you hungry?"

"Always."

"Do you want to come over for dinner?" I asked, "I'm sure Charlie would love to see you."

"Bells, I'm going to have to change my shirt or something, in case you haven't noticed, we both reek. Having dinner with the police chief stinking of pot may not be the best idea."

"Come home with me anyway, I probably have one of Edward's t-shirts stuffed in my luggage somewhere."

A look of disgust crossed Jacob's dark face, "I'd rather take my chances with the police chief."

"You're such an ass." I said angrily, turning my key in the ignition. "I'll give you one of Charlie's shirts, he won't even notice."

"Fine, then yes, I'll have dinner with you," he said smiling triumphantly.

We got back to Charlie's a few minutes before he got home, enough time for me to get Jacob into a different shirt and for him to tie back his long hair and stuff it under a baseball cap. I changed clothes and washed my hair in the sink to get the smell out and just as I was towel drying it, Charlie walked in.

"Bells, you home?" he called as he walked in, I heard him hanging his gun up by the door.

"Yeah dad, in here." I called back from the kitchen. Jacob was sitting in Charlie's recliner watching TV and I heard him say hello. I walked in to the living room and saw Charlie's face light up when he saw Jacob. It was like the prodigal son had returned, and I couldn't help but scowl a little at my over enthusiastic father.

"I invited Jacob over for dinner. I hope you don't mind."

"No that's great Bella, you're always welcome here Jake." He said turning to my pot smoking, pre marital sex having, werewolf buddy that he accepted more than my chaste, responsible, ex-vampire boyfriend.

I cleared my throat loudly and asked Jacob to come help me in the kitchen. He quickly popped up from the chair and ran to help me. The three of us ate dinner together and then watched a movie, by eleven, I could barely keep my eyes open and I still had to drive Jacob back home to La Push. Charlie seemed like he didn't want to see Jacob go, but if I didn't get a move on soon I was going to fall asleep on the drive back and possibly hit something.

"Well, we'll see you later Jake, don't be a stranger now." Charlie said walking us to the door. "Bella, drive carefully okay?"

"Okay dad. I'll be back soon."

"Bye Charlie, thanks for dinner!" Jacob said in his deep, friendly tone.

"Anytime son."

I cleared my throat loudly once more and Jacob and I headed out into the night. As we drove, I noticed Jacob checking the clock radio in my truck frequently, he looked antsy.

"Do you need to be somewhere or something?" I asked, a little irritated.

"No, not officially. Some of the guys were planning on having a fire tonight, and I was going to join them if it wasn't too late when I got back. It looks like I have plenty of time."

"Jacob, it's after eleven and it's like, four degrees outside."

"Bella, please." I looked over at him and remembered that the cold really didn't seem to bother Jacob; he was like a space heater in and of himself. He barely put anything on other than a thermal and jeans during the winter and in the summer; he was practically naked all the time.

I dropped him off and made plans to see him again in a couple of days. I only had a little over a week before I had to fly back to Alaska so my days in Forks were numbered. I wanted to have more time with Jacob and Charlie and I planned on calling Angela as well. By the time I got home, it was almost midnight and I nearly had to drag myself upstairs. I skipped the evening routine and threw on a pair of shorts and crawled into bed. Topaz was curled up on my pillow and waiting for me, as soon as he saw me, he hopped up and did his cat stretch and head butted me as I pulled my blanket up. He purred into my hair and kneaded my shoulder with his paw as I fell into a dreamless sleep, thankfully.


	26. Chapter 26 The Homecoming

**I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 26**

**The Homecoming**

"Flight 303 to Anchorage is now boarding." A sharp nasally voice announced overhead, snapping me out of my slumber.

"Come on love, it's time to go." A smooth, soft voice pressed in my ear lulling me into a state of relaxation. My eyelids flickered and opened and there he stood, looking exhausted and unshaven, holding his hand out to me. I yawned and took his outstretched hand, in his other, was Topaz in his little Sherpa cat carrier mewing softly and the largest Starbucks coffee cup I had ever seen.

We were on our way home, and for some reason, the only flight back we could get was at three o'clock in the morning, both of our circadian rhythms would be shot for the next few days. I grabbed Edward's coat and mine and my backpack, now filled with snacks that Esme had packed for both of us. As I lifted the bag, I grunted at the heft of it and threw it on my back.

"Geez Edward, does Esme think you're a diabetic or something? There's enough stuff in here to last us for four days in the wilderness." I grumbled.

He chuckled softly and led me down the hallway to the plane, where we quickly took our seats. He put our coats in the overhead compartment along with the backpack and slid Topaz under his seat. As soon as he reclaimed his seat, he took a deep sip of his coffee, wrapping his hands around the warm cup.

I watched him curiously and smiled. "You're um, really digging on the whole coffee concept aren't you?" I teased.

He looked over at me mid sip and lowered his cup into the holder in front of him, folding his hands calmly. "Bella, it's three o'clock in the morning and I've gotten a grand total of four hours of sleep. Even if I couldn't stand the taste of coffee, I would still be drinking it right now to keep myself lucid."

"Rosalie seemed really aggravated that you made her stop at the only twenty four hour Starbucks in Seattle to get that." I said looking over at his beverage with a smirk.

A wide grin crossed his face, "Yeah, that was priceless wasn't it?" He asked making us both laugh.

For the last week we were in Forks, I saw Edward very infrequently because I was spending most of my time with everybody else. I even went out with Alice and Jasper a few times; Edward had spent a lot of time with Carlisle and Emmet. We still saw each other practically every day, but only for a few hours, which was fine. But now, we were heading back home and I was glad to have him all to myself again, I missed our privacy and I think he did too. Not that I didn't love the rest of my family and friends, but Edward was my Edward and that was the only way I could explain it.

When we finally touched down in Alaska, the sun had risen and the day had started for most of the world, Kate was waiting at the gate for us to drive us home. I felt like I hadn't seen her in quite a while and was hesitant to greet her at first. She walked over to me and hugged me, welcoming me home. Edward followed behind me, dragging our luggage, even with only a few hours sleep he still looked stunning. His hair was completely out of control and he had the slightest shadow of stubble outlining his perfect jaw, but his eyes were bright and alert, his complexion flawless and he smelled heavenly. Kate saw him and gasped, I wondered if Eleazar had told the girls about his intentions when he left on his winter break, I supposed we would find out soon.

"Edward, my God, look at you. I didn't think it was possible." She Gasped, "I told Eleazar he was crazy, but here you are, changed." She smiled to herself as she looked him over. His cheeks blushed slightly at the fuss which seemed to intrigue her even more. She walked closer to him, examining him carefully.

"Hello Kate." He said politely, knowing that this was going to take a minute, he lowered our bags to the floor.

She raised a hand in hesitation, similar to the way I had when Edward had woken up that first day. She lowered her hand, and raised it again.

"You can, it's alright." Edward reassured.

She slowly reached up and touched his face and retracted her hand quickly like he had just burnt her. "You're warm," she whispered.

He nodded with a smile, "I have a heartbeat too." He joked, trying to lighten the moment that was clearly starting to make him uncomfortable.

"I can hear it." She said. Kate reached up again and touched his face, running her hand along the roughness of his stubbly jaw. "You have green eyes. I never knew that." She smiled warmly at him and leaned in closer and sniffed him, "you smell wonderful."

"Don't get any fresh ideas. I'm taken." He chuckled in her ear loudly enough so I could hear him, as if it were some kind of code to keep me from getting jealous.

She backed off immediately, "I'm sorry Bella, this looks terrible, it's just, I've known him for so long, it's a very strange thing for me to see him this way. You probably don't detect the differences, but I do."

I was insulted by that comment, as if I hadn't stared at him for immeasurable amounts of time since the first time I saw him. I'm sure she didn't happen to notice the scar on his chin or the lines around his eyes or… "I don't know Kate, I think I've grown very accustomed to Edward's face after all this time. You tend to do that when it's touching you constantly and in your thoughts on a regular basis. I think I can detect even the smallest of changes at this point." I said firmly.

I saw Edward smile his crooked smile at the floor in amusement at my defiance. Kate narrowed her eyes at me in annoyance. "You look amazing Edward, wait until Tanya sees you."

"I think I'll wait on that for now." Edward said calmly, "With a reaction like that from you of all people, Kate, with Tanya's reputation, she'll probably lick my face or something as equally inappropriate." He lifted the bags again and said, "We should get going."

Kate nodded and led the way; I obediently followed, smirking to myself. The more we associated with the Denali clan the clearer it became that Edward had a limited amount of respect for the girls, Tanya especially, and selfishly, that made me feel better.

Kate brought us straight home, it seemed like ages since I'd gone up the familiar driveway and a sense of homesickness swept over me as the garage door slowly rumbled open. I truly loved it here, I loved Alaska, I loved our school, I loved the fact that the house belonged to Edward and I, that it was where we spent our lives together. It really had become my home. It had been even longer for Edward since he'd been back and I could almost feel the same knot in his stomach as he walked into his beautiful home.

Everything was as I had left it down to the dirty coffee mug I had accidently left on the counter. We had no caretakers or maid services of the sort coming to clean or reorganize. Everything in the house was maintained by the two of us, every part of the house echoed with the words Edward and Bella's. It was perfect to me.

Edward wandered around looking at everything as if he hadn't seen it before and I patiently watched him. I saw him walk into the dining room and smile when he saw some of the leftover wrapping paper lying out that I had used to wrap Christmas gifts. Christmas seemed like it was years ago.

I hurried over to the table and gathered up the scissors and tags and paper, "Sorry about that, I was kind of running late the day my flight left."

He just continued to stand there smiling and said quietly, "It's fine love. Just leave it. It's perfect."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"It's perfect because it looks like someone actually lives here. Like it's someone's home," he explained. "That means more to me than you could ever possibly know."

"Well, it is someone's home," I said sounding a little confused, "It's our home."

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me against him and kissed my cheek, "I'm so glad to hear you say that." He whispered smoothly.

We spent the majority of the day unpacking and catching up on household stuff. I did loads upon loads of laundry it seemed. Edward went out and got groceries. I was a little nervous because he had never had to do that before, think about what we both needed and then go out and find it. I half expected to see him come home with, well, actually I didn't have any idea what to expect. I tried to think of everything I needed for my meals and made a list and instructed him to get enough for two or two and a half depending on his appetite. He seemed a little confused at first, but didn't ask any questions and went on his way.

Grocery shopping was followed by bill paying and cleaning the house. By the evening, we were both so exhausted that we ordered takeout and went to bed early to watch a movie.

I followed my normal evening routine of showering, changing, brushing and headed to bed. I waited in anticipation to see what the new Edward now did before going to bed. It was silly, but I was so used to seeing him sitting around in his jeans watching me sleep that I had no idea what to expect. I wondered what he slept in, if he showered, what his toothpaste smelled like. It was obsessive really, and ridiculous, but even knowing all of that I couldn't help but wonder.

I didn't want it to look like I was waiting up for him, so I grabbed the remote and threw in some dramatic new release DVD that Edward had ordered through Netflix. He liked thought provoking moody dramas with substance while I was more into creepy horror movies. I figured a dramatic thriller was a reasonable compromise. I heard him shuffling around quietly in the bathroom and listened more closely. I couldn't hear the water running so I assumed he wasn't an evening showerer. I heard the sink turn on and splashing, he was washing his face. Then I heard him brush his teeth and the snap of a piece of floss off the spool, followed by the sound of him swishing around mouth wash. I wondered if he was going to be one of those ocd guys where cleanliness was actually considered a flaw. I felt like an idiot expending so much energy listening to Edward clean up before bed, but it was such a weird concept to me. The light snapped off in the bathroom and the door opened. Edward entered the bedroom wearing a clean black v neck t-shirt and a pair of loosely fitting, black, cotton lounge pants. He looked like a model for Hanes.

I looked at him nonchalantly and smirked a little. "What?" He asked with a laugh.

"Nothing," I said trying to stifle a giggle. "I just never thought the day would come when I got to see Edward Cullen in his jammies."

"You and me both," he said rolling his eyes and climbing under the covers next to me.

"Why don't you just sleep in your underwear like most guys?" I asked.

"Why don't you?" He retorted looking down at my pajamas.

"I will if you will."

"You first," he purred, smiling wickedly.

He called my bluff and I felt my cheeks flush red. I was so embarrassed that I actually pulled the sheets closer to my body, clearly doing the opposite of what he had requested. His smile grew wider at the thought of his comment making me blush.

"So what are we watching?" He asked with interest, changing the subject.

"Some kind of suspenseful drama with a creepy plotline. It should be right down both of our allies." I said pressing play on the remote.

"Perfect." Edward said removing his wrist cuff and setting it on the bedside stand. I waited for him to take off the necklace I had given him for Christmas, but he never did. He just sat back against his pillow and put his arm around me as the movie started.

I sunk down beside him, resting my head against his shoulder and sighed contently. I was by no means trying to get fresh with him, but instinctively, I reached one of my hands behind his back and let the other slip under his shirt and rest against his stomach. I felt his posture stiffen slightly, but then he seemed to realize that the gesture was purely innocent and reveled in my hand being there. His skin was warm and perfectly smooth and when he took in a breath, I could feel tiny ripples just under the surface, indicating where his muscles were. The movie went on and I eventually dozed off, not waking until the morning. When I woke, Edward was still there, breathing softly, fast asleep, and my hand was right where I had left it.


	27. Chapter 27 One More Cup of Coffee

**I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 27**

'**One More Cup of Coffee'**

It felt like we had barely been home when the new semester started. I would be glad to see Danielle, Martina, and Dorie again, but dreaded the thought of schoolwork. Edward and I had one or two classes together, but now this semester the separation between us was going to be vast. He was starting more of his culinary classes, spending the majority of his time in the technical building, while I, on the other hand would be spending my days in the psych department. Our schedules were very different in that I had a lot of night classes and he had a lot of day classes. How ironic for the ex vampire to be spending his spring semester in the daylight, while I lurked around like some creature of the night during mine. Regardless, we somehow managed to fall into a routine fairly quickly, adapting easily to our new schedules.

A few weeks into the new semester, I had already been assigned a group project which was quickly becoming the bane of my existence. I had to meet with my group on one of the few week nights that I usually was at home with Edward and I was thoroughly annoyed. It was about seven o'clock when I pulled into the garage, I had accomplished little to nothing with my group that night and I had a stack of work due the next day that I was only halfway through. I was in rare form that night and I hoped that Edward was home to cheer me up. As I pulled into my parking spot, relief washed over me when I saw his car sitting there. I got out of 'my' SUV and was assaulted by noise, not noise but music, coming from overhead. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and unlocked the back door into the kitchen. The music immediately was louder when I stepped into the house, I felt like someone had just taken a pair of ear muffs off of me. The music I was hearing was forceful and bluesy, demanding attention and presence. I followed the sound down the hallway, into the living and upstairs, it was getting louder.

When I found the source of the music, I almost needed a cold shower. Edward, classic, piano playing, lullaby writing Edward was the source of the music. There he sat, on the edge of a low coffee table, holding a Les Paul that was plugged in to a huge amp, strumming away. He hadn't heard me come in; I stood in the doorway watching him, unnoticed. I cleared my throat loudly, so as not to startle him and he glanced up quickly as he continued to play. He threw me a quick smile as a greeting and looked back down at what he was doing. When he looked up again I mouthed the word "hot" at him with a grin, he gave me a confused look and I pointed at him and made a gesture like I was fanning myself. He understood my meaning that time and rolled his eyes at me, followed by a sexy wink. After that, our communication ended and he focused again on what he was doing.

I watched his expression, his hands and body language made it look like he was playing with ease, but his face told a different story. His brow furrowed pensively and his brilliant green eyes darted back and forth over the neck of the guitar, I saw his lips move ever so slightly as he went along creating an overall determined look about him. He stood up then as the solo became more complicated and faster. He was playing the White Stripes version of 'Stop Breaking Down', and the music coming from the guitar was menacing and staticky. Edward had on a baseball tee style shirt and I watched his bare forearms work along the guitar with hungry eyes. Every muscle tensed and pulsed as he moved his hands steadily and I practically had to hold the side of the doorway to avoid collapsing like some infatuated groupie. Edward had been handsome and nearly untouchable to me in his former life, but now he oozed with sex appeal and I was drawn to him even more than I was before if that was possible. The song came to an end and he grabbed the neck of the guitar and spun it in his hand playfully and set it down, grinning widely at me.

"Where did you come from?" I asked with my arms folded over my chest.

He let out an embarrassed laugh and responded with, "Chicago." He settled back into his chair, looking very pleased with himself.

"You know what I mean," I said sitting down beside him. "Where do you learn to do these things? Even as a human, you're good at everything. You're making me feel inadequate."

"You should never say such things about yourself." He said shaking his head. "Besides, life with me isn't a competition."

I looked over at him and noticed that he was wearing a gray and green knit cap with a bill on it. "What is that?" I asked pointing at his head.

"It's a hat."

"You look ridiculous in it." I giggled, clearly lying, actually he looked mouthwatering.

"No I don't, besides it gets cold in Alaska in February." He said defensively.

"Play something else." I requested with a smile.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, anything."

He looked thoughtful for a moment as he tried to come up with a song. Then he picked up the guitar and made a few adjustments on the amp and the frets and placed the leather strap around his neck. He positioned his hands and began to play, "You should know this one." He informed as he started.

I listened to the first few bars and though it sounded vaguely familiar, I couldn't recognize it. I furrowed my brow and listened as he played slowly and bit my lip in deep concentration. "I can't place it," I said.

"Yes you can, you know this song very well."

I listened more closely as he strummed and to my dismay, still could not recognize it. I shook my head in disagreement. "No, I don't."

"Do I have to sing it for you?"

I nodded my head in delight, and Edward immediately looked nervous and hesitant. He took a breath and played for another second or two, still looking anxious. Then, almost too softly that I couldn't hear, he sang the first verse. It only took me a second to figure out what he was playing then. "Your breath is sweet and weak, and your eyes are like two jewels in the sky, your back is straight, your hair is smooth on the pillow where you lie. But I don't sense affection, no gratitude, no love. Your loyalty is no to me but to the stars above. One more cup of coffee for the road, one more cup of coffee, before I go, to the valley below." He wouldn't look at me while he sang, he just stared ahead at the wall, dropping his eyes to the floor often, his hands strummed slowly. The first verse ended and he continued to play and looked over at me, "Now do you recognize it?"

Of course I did, it was off Desire, Charlie's most prized Bob Dylan album that I used to listen to all of the time. It was actually one of my favorite songs. I nodded slowly; stunned that he could play it. "Don't stop," I pleaded, urging him to sing the next verse.

"Bella, come on," He whined.

"Please?" I said pressing my hands together in a begging fashion.

He sighed deeply and started the next verse, this time, more loudly, like he was actually trying to make it sound pleasant. "Your daddy, he's an outlaw, and a wanderer by trade. He'll teach you how to pick and choose and how to throw the blade. He oversees his kingdom so no stranger does intrude, his voice it trembles as he calls out for another plate of food. One more cup of coffee for the road, one more cup of coffee fore' I go to the valley below."

Edward's singing voice was husky and low but incredibly mellow and soothing. Whereas he had seemed embarrassed and shy a minute ago he was now singing to me, observing my response me with a guarded look in his lovely eyes. The verse ended and my favorite part of the song was coming up next. It was the part of the song that talked about the subject's sister having premonitions and the subject sharing the same gift; it reminded me of Edward and Alice.

"Your turn," he smirked as he played.

"No, no way." I stuttered as a feeling of horror washed over me and my stomach knotted.

"Just one line please, the first sentence. I want to hear your voice," he pressed.

"Edward please…"

"One line, I'll do the rest, humor me…" he urged as he continued to play, it was getting closer now. The music of the third verse had started and neither one of us made a sound.

Then somehow, I managed to find a very small part of me that was brave enough, and I sang very tensely in a tiny voice, "Your sister sees the future, like your mama and yourself. You don't know how to read or write, there's no books upon your shelf."

"But your pleasure knows no limits…" he continued for me with a dark smile.

"And your voice is like a meadow lark," I sang to him, with more confidence as he watched me closely.

"Your heart is like the ocean, mysterious and dark." His face grew intense for a moment, and then we both sang together, "one more cup of coffee for the road, one more cup of coffee fore' I go, to the valley below." His strumming slowed as I watched him, completely mesmerized, and then he cautiously set down the guitar.

"Play something else." I encouraged almost immediately.

"No. I'm done; I just played two songs for you."

"Technically, I walked in on the first one, so really you only played me one." I said flashing my most persuasive pout.

"Edward has left the building." He said firmly as he shut off the amp. He removed his hat, tossed it aside and shook out his hair. "Why don't you play something for me?" he asked dropping his eyes toward the guitar.

"Because I don't know how to play," I said in a very obvious tone.

"Really?" Edward asked as he reached over and took a sip from a bottle of water he had sitting on the floor. I nodded at him. He paused for a moment as he twisted the cap back on and set it down. "That is a blasphemous lie and you know it." He said sternly as he crossed one of his legs over the other and folded his arms in his lap.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said standing up and pacing nervously.

He leaned forward, arms and legs still crossed and stared up at me, "Bella, I know you used to play guitar."

"No I didn't." I snapped quickly, "who told you that?"

"Charlie did," he said smirking. "You should never leave two men who have very little in common alone to wash dishes. Lots of information can get leaked."

"Ugh!" I growled, "I can't believe he told you about that."

"I don't see what the big deal is. Why would you keep a talent like that a secret, I certainly don't." He said smiling, the light shining off his perfect white teeth.

"I wasn't any good at it Edward. I gave it up after a year or two."

"You can learn a lot in a year or two, have you even tried since?"

"No."

"Did you enjoy it?" He asked innocently.

"Well, yes, when it wasn't frustrating me. Still, I think it was just a silly phase I was going through. I probably couldn't even _hold_ a guitar at this point." I said shaking my head. It was true, I used to play at one time, but that was almost six years ago, and I never really thought I had gotten the hang of it, so out of frustration and despair, I quit. My guitar was still locked up tightly in its' case back at my mother's house in my closet somewhere never to be seen by the light of day again as far as I was concerned.

"Why don't you try?" He asked picking up his guitar and handing it to me.

"No, really I can't and besides, I used to play acoustic."

"Very well," he purred turning and striding over to the acoustic guitar hanging on the wall. "Try this then." He lifted it off its' mount and handed it to me.

"Please don't make me do this." I pleaded with fear in my eyes.

He put his hands up in front of him defensively, "I'm not going to make you do anything. I'm just suggesting," he said placing emphasis on the word 'suggesting' "that if you have any desire to play again, you should and that you can feel free to use this at your discretion. And if you ever want an audience, I would be more than happy to oblige. That's all." He said lightly, picking up the electric guitar, wiping it down and hanging it back up on the wall.

I held the acoustic in my hands, staring at the shininess of the wood and caressing the neck with my fingers. Maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe with a little practice I could even become _good_ at the guitar. It could be something we do together maybe; Edward could probably give me a few good pointers at the very least. It's not like I had any hobbies to speak of that I took part in. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Edward's back was still turned to me as he fussed around with his carefully exhibited instruments hanging on the wall. I slipped the strap of the guitar over my head and sat down on the coffee table. I got into proper position and played a scale, it felt invigorating. Edward turned around casually and observed as I tested each note.

"Don't get any ideas." I muttered without looking up, "I just wanted to see if I could remember a scale."

"That's fine. I didn't say anything." He said patiently. "What did you used to play?"

"I only knew a few songs all the way through. Very typical ones too, like Black Crowes, I knew one by them, Oasis, I knew a lot of Oasis, because I used to really like them." I strummed the guitar lazily as I tried to remember my brief musical career back when I was thirteen. "Oh, I did do something really impressive once. I really loved the song 'slide away' off their first album, but it was electric, so I tried to teach myself how to play it 'unplugged' and came up with a pretty good rendition of it. I spent all day and all night trying to master it for weeks, until one day I finally did. Then I got so caught up in schoolwork and looking out for Renee that I kind of, lost interest."

By now I figured Edward would be bored out of his mind listening to me jabber on about a silly song by a group he didn't particularly care for. I was convinced that he had to be nodding off and I looked up to confirm my assumption. To my surprise, he looked like he was in fact, listening very carefully to everything I said. He seemed fascinated actually. He stood against the wall with one arm crossed and the other on his face consuming every word I said. "Show me." he said, once he knew I had finished my thought.

"No, no way. You probably don't even know the song, so you won't be able to determine if it's badly done or not."

"Sing some of the words." He said dreamily. "I won't laugh, I promise."

He was completely serious, not only did he want me to play an instrument I hadn't touched in six years, but to sing on top of that? Had he never met me before?

"Please Bella." That was it, that was all he had to say, those two words together and I would do anything he would ask of me.

It took me a moment or two to get my bearings, but once I had started, I couldn't believe how quickly the song was coming back to me. I decided in my mind that I would give him one verse and a chorus and that was it. Anything beyond that and I would truly die of embarrassment.

"Slide away, and give it all you got, might today, fell it from the top, I dream of you and all the things you say, I wonder where you are now. Hold me down, for all the world to see, I need you now, you knock me off my feet. I dream of you, and talk of growing old, but you said please don't. slide in baby, together we'll fly, I'll try begging but I don't know what you'll say to me.

Now that you're mine, we'll find a way, of chasing the sun, let me be the one, that shines with you, in the morning, we don't know what to do. We're two of a kind, we'll find a way, and do what we've done, oh, let me be the one that shines with you and we can slide away. Slide away. Slide away." I played for a few minutes more, but the singing definitely had to stop, even though I could hear my voice growing stronger and brimming with confidence with each note, I was still uncomfortable. I finished out the song and nearly dropped the guitar as if it had burnt me when it was over.

Edward still had his back to the wall with an intense look in his eyes, it was fiery and passionate. He silently stepped toward me and took my face in his hands and said quietly, "you underestimate yourself tremendously, Isabella Swan." He smiled seductively and leaned forward and kissed me longingly on the lips. "That was beautiful."

"Thanks." I said breathlessly.

"Thank _you_." He replied gratefully, kissing me softly on the head.

He lifted the strap off of my neck carefully and hung the guitar back up on the wall. He sat down beside me, grabbing up his hat and readjusting it back onto his head. "Now," he said, looking at me mischievously, "you have done something that I asked of you, now it's my turn to do something for you."

"Anything?" I chirped, quickly sliding into his lap.

"Within reason please." He added seriously, wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders.

"Come on Edward, asking me to sing and play a guitar is reasonable to you?!" I growled.

"Those are perfectly innocent requests." He said smiling, "I don't see what the problem is." He leaned closer to me and brushed his lips against my jaw and whispered, "I'm sure what you want to request is far from innocent."

"Don't flatter yourself Mr. Cullen." I said sarcastically, trying to maintain my resolve.

I heard him smile and then kiss my neck softly, "what then, is it that you desire of me, my Bella?" He murmured sensually in my ear.

I shut my eyes and let the electricity that he was giving off course through my body and then said in a throaty tone, "I desire…"

"Yes?" he breathed.

"I want you…to…" he kissed my neck again in anticipation, "make…"

"hmmm?"

"me dinner." I smiled, satisfied.

He drew his face away from my neck and stared blankly at me. Then he shrugged his shoulders and said offhandedly, "Whatever you like."

"I like the thought of food." I said lightly.

He lifted me off his lap and settled me back down beside him, "Dinner it is." He stood up and sauntered toward the door and then paused, looking back at me. He held his hand out to me, "keep me company?" He asked hopefully.

"Piggyback?" I asked smiling brightly.

He smiled and nodded at me and I quickly got off the table and hopped onto his back and I felt his legs waiver slightly at the weight of me. He reached behind, grabbing my thighs and hoisted me up. "Let's go," he sighed, "you can be my sous chef."

"What are we having?" I asked as he walked down the stairs.

"What would you like?"

"Pasta." I replied.

"Sounds good to me."

I kissed the side of his neck and said sweetly in his ear, "I love you Edward."


	28. Chapter 28 Still not Human Enough

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 28**

**Still not human enough to blend in**

"Everyone take your seats please."

This wasn't good. Professor Ramsey usually wasn't even seen by the students until you reached the second semester of your junior year in culinary. He was the director of the program after all. Now, here he was in a freshman classroom, solemnly telling us to take our seats. I already knew what he was going to say, I could hear his mind very clearly, his only hesitation at this point was trying to put the news to all of us carefully. Chef Fletcher was dead. He died at home, heart attack; we were going to have someone else as our Culinary Methods teacher for the remainder of the semester.

"For those of you who don't know me, I'm Chef Ramsey, program director of the Culinary Arts program at the university." His voice was tinny and curt and he tucked his arms behind his back authoritatively as he made the announcement. "I regret to inform you, but Chef Fletcher is no longer going to be your Culinary Methods teacher. He had a massive heart attack in his home over the weekend, unfortunately, the paramedics could not get to him in time, and he passed away." His terse voice echoed throughout the classroom as he said the words, 'passed away' as if that made the blow he just dealt us gentler.

Someone who dies of a heart attack simply does not just 'pass away' I thought bitterly to myself. It's more of a painful, violent death, not just simply slipping into a coma and shutting their eyes and 'heading toward the light'.

"We will all miss him terribly here at the university. He was a good man." He paused for a moment, and then continued in his firm curt tone. "Regardless, his assistant, Chef Scott will be taking over the class from herein. I will be overseeing his lesson plan and checking in from time to time, but you are Chef Scott's students now. Chef?"

I watched as Chef Scott made his way to the front of the classroom, a tall, clean shaven man with dark eyes and a shaved head, square jawed and with strong build, he shook Chef Ramsey's hand and faced us. I could hear the little speech he had prepared swirling around in his mind as he brought his inner monologue to the fore front. "Thank you Chef Ramsey." He said looking over at the stoic professor. He faced us again and tried to begin. "Chef Fletcher was a great man, he taught me everything I know, and I will try to pass that on to all of you the best I can. I've met most of you already during the fall semester and think I have a decent rapport with the majority of you, so although this tragedy was unexpected, it is my hope to make it a smooth transition. Certainly if you have any questions or concerns, if you don't think I'm doing something right, please bring that to my attention or Chef Ramsey's and we will rectify it immediately. You guys are a great class, and I'm looking forward to working with all of you, these next few months. Hopefully if I do a good enough job, we'll see more of each other in the upcoming years."

Chef Scott had always seemed like a reasonable, hard working, honest man to me, but there was something very weasely about the speech he had just given. It seemed as if he viewed this turn of events as an advancement opportunity, rather than the tragic end of a human life. I scanned his thoughts to see if I could get anything from Chef Scott to affirm my suspicions, but I found nothing. It was better that way I supposed, but there was still something about him that did not sit right with me.

We observed a moment of silence in honor of Chef Fletcher and then Ramsey left and Scott started with his lesson plan. I grudgingly opened up my binder and scowled at him, something wasn't right. Something had changed or was about to. I should have kept my scowl to myself, because he caught me in the act and returned the favor with a similar look of disdain. This day was off to a great start, I thought sarcastically.

We were twenty minutes or so into lecture when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pressed the button on the side to silence it and when no one was looking, flipped it open. _1 new text message from Bella_, the screen read. I hit ok, and her message popped up, _Lunch? _My heart sank when I remembered that today was my double class, one hour of lecture followed by one hour of practical in my culinary class. I would be missing lunch altogether today. I quickly typed back to her, _can't love, double duty today. _Within a moment, my phone buzzed again with her response, _that's ok, c u 2night._

This sucks; I thought to myself, I had really wanted to meet her for lunch. My human mood swings were out of control today, I had hoped by now things would have leveled out a bit, but today I was miserable for no particular reason and felt like I needed to see her. I would just have to wait, and endure this nimrod's lecture for forty five more minutes, then I would be in a kitchen and on my own for the most part. I took heart in that, and then my stomach growled. This was going to be an excruciating day.

_I'm sorry _ I typed back to her. I hoped she wasn't angry with me, but why would she be? Ten minutes or so passed and I got no response, I figured our conversation had ended. Then my phone buzzed again, it was her, I hit ok and read her message, _what are u wearing? _I chuckled softly to myself and replied with my usual response to that question,_ Use your imagination…_The phone buzzed again with some kind of filthy response from Bella, it caught me by such surprise that I actually muttered something out loud, grinning to myself. The classroom got suddenly very quiet and I looked up to see Chef Scott glaring at me. I slowly snapped my phone shut and cleared my throat sinking down in my seat slightly, the smirk that she had put on my face still there.

Lecture ended and we were given fifteen minutes to get to the other side of the building to the kitchen and get out all of our supplies and put on our Chef jackets. This usually took me no time at all before, but now I needed the fifteen minutes. I gathered up my things, grabbed my coat and headed out with the other students.

"Mr. Cullen." Scott called after me just as I was getting to the door.

I stopped in my tracks, turning on my heel and faced him. "Sir?" I answered in my most congenial tone.

"Edward, isn't it?"

"Yes Chef."

"Come talk with me for a minute." Oh this was not the day for this, I thought to myself. I smiled politely, gritting my teeth and walked toward him. "I want to get to know all of the students better. Some of them I already know very well, because they've required more help in the kitchen. But you," he said rubbing his chin and shaking a finger at me, "I don't think I've ever worked with you. You're very independent." He was making me very uneasy.

"Thank you Chef," I said quietly.

"That's a sign of a great chef, independence, it can also be the sign of an arrogant one," he said casually. I felt my face get hot at his insolence, was he waging an attack on me? "But," he added, "I don't think that's what is in your case. I think you're just a very advanced student."

"That may be," I started, "but arrogance may play a little part in it as well." I smiled darkly.

Chef Scott let out a full, hearty laugh, "I think I like you, Cullen," he slapped me roughly on the shoulder and I wanted to choke him.

"Edward." I corrected him.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I think I remember you now, didn't you leave a couple weeks early for break last semester?"

"Yes, after I took my exams." I pointed out.

"Right, right, now why did you leave? You were having surgery or something?" Now he was asking too much.

"My sister was."

"Right, right, I'm assuming everything went well, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Didn't you have to be a donor or something?" Why did he have this information? Chef Fletcher must have mentioned it to him. I didn't want to answer his question, but had to say something, I could feel his eyes burning through his curious expression.

"Something like that." I answered with a half smile. I looked at my watch; I only had five minutes until practical started.

"Well, whatever happened over break, you look good." He said with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation now.

"Nothing, I'm just saying you look good, healthy. That first semester, I remember you; you were kind of pale and skinny looking. You look like, I don't know you got a tan or something; maybe you just had a hard time adjusting those first few months. Whatever you're doing now, keep it up, you look great."

It took all the strength I had not to punch him in the face. I made tight fists at my sides and breathed slowly, and counted my heartbeats that were coming faster by the second. I could practically see red, who the hell was this person and what did he know? "I have to go. Class starts in two minutes and I still have to get ready." I don't know how I was able to form a sentence without raising my voice or using obscenities, but I did.

He looked at his watch, "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, I gotta get over there too, I didn't mean to make you late,"

"That's fine, I'm sure I'll manage." Fury and confusion ebbed in my chest.

"I'm sure you will too." I turned and started to the door, "good talk Cullen," he called after me.

"Edward." I called back a little impatiently. I stormed down the hallway to the classroom, and walked right past it into the men's room. I needed to calm down even if it meant getting to class a few minutes late.

Thankfully, no one else was in there, I walked over to the sink and threw handfuls of cold water over my neck and face. I stared into the mirror at myself. Was it really that obvious? I couldn't see huge physical changes in myself. I looked the same, the same as I always had, my skin tone was a little darker, my eyes had changed color, I could see a few lines here and there, but nothing significant. The only person who would notice a change would be Bella, or another vampire. She was the only one who could memorize my face, and sight is just clearer when you're a vampire. To an average passerby, there was nothing different about me. How would a teacher's assistant notice anything? I stood back and looked at my whole body. Was I gaining weight? My pants did feel a little tighter, I was starving all of the time, was this shirt slightly snugger than...I stopped myself right there, immediately feeling ridiculous.

I longed to have a rational thought today. I cleared my head and thought to myself about what just happened in that classroom. Perhaps Chef Scott and I had gotten off on the wrong foot. Maybe he was just trying to give me a hard time because of the look I had given him earlier. And what right did I have to judge him? I had no grounds to stand on as to why I had a problem with him…until now. But, I would have to examine this further; maybe he was just trying to intimidate me. I chalked up our little altercation to an over production of testosterone and planned to go back to class with an open, but guarded mind. If this wasn't over, I would find out soon enough, and I would deal with him then. But, until that happened, I planned on going to my class, which I was now five minutes late for, and practice my chopping and sautéing skills for the remainder of the time. I grabbed my bag and headed down the hallway to the classroom.

When I arrived Chef Scott was still sharpening his knife and gathering supplies. He nodded at me as I walked in and headed to my workstation. I quickly unlocked my under the table locker and pulled out my things. I slipped into my jacket and buttoned it, luckily, I had sharpened my knives at the end of our last class, so I was actually ahead of the game. I waited for Chef to start. I should have known myself well enough to recognize that I was in no condition to chop produce and cook over a flame today. I was distracted and unable to focus on one thing. My mind kept wandering, and producing questions that I couldn't answer.

We were putting together a simple stir fry dish today, so it looked like I'd be able to get lunch after all. I preheated the skillet and waited a minute, that's when I had my first accident; my first accident in over one hundred years. I went to pour the oil into the skillet and was too distracted to realize how close my hand was to the pan and within a moment I had given myself a second degree burn.

"Dammit." I growled lowly, snatching my hand away, trying not to make a scene.

"Ooo, are you alright?" Asked a girl in the station next to mine.

"Yeah, I just, wasn't paying attention." I said calmly turning the cold water on and rolling up my sleeve, "thank you," I added politely. She smiled weakly and went back to whatever she was doing.

The cold water felt good against the burn, but as soon as I shut it off, the unpleasantness returned, causing me even more distraction. It was starting to blister already; it would leave a scar for sure. I continued on with my work, ignoring the injury as best I could. Chef Scott was going around to each station to check on all of us. Thankfully, the day was almost over, I would have one more class after this, and it was with Bella, and then we could go home and spend time together. I was at the last stage of the recipe, the garnish; I took a bunch of scallions out of the fridge and set them down on the massive wooden cutting board. I lined them up perfectly; holding them still with my aching burnt hand and took my knife in the other. I started chopping rapidly, and that's when I had my second accident; my second accident in forty minutes. Once again, not paying attention, I ran out of scallion and started rapidly chopping my finger instead. I sliced down right on the side of my index finger and this time, could not keep my voice low.

"Fff-uuu-ck!" I snarled, drawing out the word. I instinctively covered my bleeding hand with the other. Everyone looked up at me, a few gasped. Chef Scott hurried over and grabbed a towel and handed it to me.

"Are you alright?" he asked urgently.

"It'll be fine." I snapped, lifting the towel hesitantly to survey the damage. The bleeding would not stop and Chef backed away, giving me space. I wiped off some of the blood, long enough to see that I had a huge gash going down the side of my finger. I wouldn't be surprised if I needed sutures, I knew I would, in fact. The end of class was near and Chef was wrapping it up, still keeping away from me. I peeked under the towel again and saw that the blood was still flowing and now dripping down the front of my hand. A thick red line was being created as my blood slithered down my hand, close to the fresh burn. I watched in fascination for a moment, and then something very wrong happened, as the blood oozed along down my hand, it touched the burn, and suddenly, the pain from the burn noticeably decreased. I wiped off the blood and to my surprise, the burn looked like it was starting to heal. I stared at the burn, horrified by what I was seeing, I couldn't move, I was frozen where I stood.

"Edward," I heard him clear his throat, "Edward," Chef Scott placed a hand on my shoulder and I whirled around to face him, "Um, maybe you should go see the nurse practitioner on campus."

I stared at him speechless for a moment and then with my good hand grabbed my bag and went to see the nurse.

"How did you do this again?" The nurse asked me.

"Culinary major," I said flatly. I was missing my biology class with Bella. Of course to honor tradition we were partners and we had a dissection to get started on today. She'd have to start that by herself. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket; I sighed loudly and let my head drop back against the chair.

"Does that hurt?" The nurse asked as she threw in another suture. Honestly, it was a little uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't ignore.

"Not really." My phone buzzed again, with my free hand I reached into my pocket. _Where r u? Is everything alright? _I typed back_, I'll be late, start without me. I'll explain later. Love u._

By the time the nurse had stitched me up, Biology was essentially over. I walked over to at least meet Bella and walk with her to the car. I stood outside of the classroom, waiting, my nerves shot, I saw most of our class had left, Bella was probably stuck cleaning up everything used during lab. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she emerged from the lab.

"What's going on?" She asked, the moment she saw me, concern imprinted all over her face. Before I could explain, she saw the cumbersome, unnecessary bandage the nurse had wrapped my hand in. "My God, Edward what happened to you?!" She went to reach for my injured hand and I quickly pulled it away from her.

"Bella, please, I just…need to get out of here immediately." I said urgently, "I'll explain, just not, here."

She nodded and walked beside me as I strode down the hallway to the exit. As I walked along I unraveled the useless bandage I had been equipped with and stuffed it into the nearest trash bin. I got closer to Bella and put my arm around her waist.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

"I cut myself in class love. It's fine." I whispered back kissing her warm cheek. It amazed me how easily I could compose myself around her.

"Are those stitches?" She asked glancing at my hand.

"Later Bella, okay, please?" She nodded and didn't ask me anything else.

I walked her to the passenger side of my car and opened the door for her and closed it gently behind her. I climbed into the driver seat and waited a moment, taking deep breaths. I lowered my head, defeated, and let it rest against the steering wheel. I felt her hands on me, stroking my head with one and letting the other rest on my thigh.

"Edward, are you going to be alright?" She asked, worry in her voice.

"One can only hope."


	29. Chapter 29 Hypothesis

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 29**

**Hypothesis**

We got home and were greeted cheerfully by Topaz, swirling and weaving around our feet mewing. I lifted him off the floor and scratched his chin roughly and replaced him back down.

"Edward, what is going on?" Bella asked sternly, very nearly tapping her foot on the tiled floor.

"Very well, sit down." I held a hand out to the kitchen table. Bella crossed her arms and sat down. I removed my jacket and heard my stomach growl. I still hadn't eaten anything since this morning. I hit the button on the coffeemaker and went to the fridge to grab myself something quick, returning with a couple of pieces of cheese.

"You didn't get to eat today did you?" She asked.

"Nope. Not at all."

"Okay, so start from the beginning." She pressed.

I explained how the professor had died over the weekend, and how the assistant chef, Chef Scott was going to be taking over. It all seemed like an average enough day with the exception of my unexplained foul mood and the professor's death. Then I began to tell her about the conversation Scott and I had had and I watched her expression change from indifference, to intrigue, to concern and then finally, to panic.

"What exactly did he say about your appearance?" She asked uneasily.

"He said that I looked, 'healthier', that last semester I was pale and skinny and that now I looked like I had a tan. He said whatever I was doing was working for me." I said bitterly.

"How would he be able to tell all that after only seeing you a few times?" she asked, confused.

"I don't know." I said shakily, getting up to shut off the gurgling coffee maker. I pulled a mug out of the cupboard and started making my coffee.

"Who knows? Maybe it was all a coincidence. Maybe he was just trying to get a rise out of you because he was sensing a little of your animosity for him." I walked over to the table and placed a cup of coffee in front of her and sat down across from her. "Thanks." She said taking a sip. "Couldn't you read his thoughts?" She continued.

I rolled my eyes, "he caught me so off guard that I wasn't paying attention at that moment. I'm not as sensitive to other people's minds as I was before. I probably should have thought of that at the time."

"I wouldn't think too much about it." She said, lowering her eyes to the table and wrapping her hands tightly around her mug. She was such a terrible liar, I felt like she was more concerned than she was coming off as but I didn't press the issue. How much I wished I could read her thoughts at times like this.

"So then what happened?" She asked calmly.

"Then, when I finally arrived to the second part of class, I was so distracted that first I burnt myself and then I sliced my hand open with a chef's knife. Hence…" I said wiggling my mangled limb at her with a smirk.

She smiled at me and took my damaged hand carefully into hers, bringing it up to her face and kissing it softly. "Looks like you've got a case of Swan syndrome," she teased.

I smiled crookedly at her, my first real smile of the day, and said, "I don't think I'll ever get to that point. You've set the bar very high already."

She laughed softly and turned my hand over gently to look at the back of it "Where did you burn yourself on the right or the left?"

"The left, same hand with the stitches," I answered, confused.

"It must not have been too bad of a burn because there's nothing here." She said reexamining my hand.

"Bella, it was practically a second degree burn, it started blistering almost immediately." I argued.

"And I'm telling you that there's nothing here, the skin isn't even pink." She said staring up at me. "Look."

I retracted my hand away from her and examined the burn site. She was right; there was nothing, not even the slightest indication of the accident. Now that I thought about it, my hand had stopped hurting hours ago. Then I remembered, the whole incident came back to me, I remembered my blood dripping down over the burn and feeling the pain disappear. I leapt out of my chair in horror, backing up against the wall and holding my hand in front of me, like it was some kind of entity I couldn't control. I startled Bella and she gasped and jumped out of her chair as well.

"What is it?" She asked, her voice rising, "What's the matter? Are you in pain?"

"No, no, nothing like that. It's just, Bella, I had a huge burn on the back of my hand and it's gone now. I think, I think something's happening to me."

She kneaded her forehead with her hand and shut her eyes, trying to concentrate. I felt like a child, like a frightened, melodramatic child and I could sense I was stressing her out.

"What, do you mean, you think something's happening to you?" She asked slowly, her voice was tense.

How could I tell her that my hypothesis was that my blood had healing properties? Recapping the entire story was confusing to me, and I was there. How would I be able to clearly explain that to her when it made no sense to me? The only thing I could do was test my theory to be certain.

"Grab me a knife." I said, my voice shaking.

"What?!"

"Bella, please, just do this for me. I need to be sure."

She sighed and backed up slowly to the counter, reaching into the butcher block and grabbing a paring knife, keeping her eyes locked on me, while I remained against the wall. She hesitantly handed it to me.

I rolled up my sleeve and extended my forearm, swallowing hard. Bella stood frozen bringing her hand up to her mouth silently as she watched me. I locked my eyes on hers and took a few deep breaths as I slid the blade of the knife against my exposed arm. A thin line of blood beaded up on the surface of my arm immediately. I rolled up the sleeve on my other arm and extended it and sliced into that as well, making another tiny gash.

This time, Bella actually gasped out loud and shouted at me to stop.

"Just wait!" I growled at her fiercely, that startled her as well, and I immediately regretted losing my temper with her. "Please," I said more controlled, "just wait."

I waited for the two gashes to bleed out a little more; I pinched the skin around them to milk out some more of the thick liquid, like taking venom from a snake. Once I was satisfied enough blood was flowing, I pressed my two arms together, laying one gash atop the other and waited. I waited for about two minutes, Bella scowling and worrying the whole time, I felt like I would pass out, but stayed still. Then, I slowly pulled my arms apart to see if my theory had worked. The blood had stopped and dried, and I went to the sink to wash up.

I dried my arms and looked down, both gashes were gone. Not the slightest scratch or scab remained, Bella still stood in her spot, probably truly believing that I had lost my mind.

"Bella," I called to her from the sink, my voice on the brink of panic. I held my arms out with my palms facing up so that she could see what had just happened. "What does this mean?" I whispered.

She came over to me and looked at my unscathed forearms, which were now shaking slightly. She ran her warm, soft hands along them and gazed up at my face. Her dark, liquid brown eyes pierced through me and I felt myself falling into her trance. I felt a sense of calm slowly coming over me.

"I don't know." She breathed. She ran her fingertips over me again and again, and looked up at me. "Are you telling me that your blood can heal things?" She asked almost too quietly for me to hear

"I think so."

"We need to be sure of what's going on."

"What are you suggesting?" I asked.

"Try me."

"That's absurd Bella." I argued. "There's no reason for that."

"Isn't there?" she rolled up her pant leg and revealed a fairly new scrape on her shin that was mending.

"When did you do that?" I asked, distracted suddenly.

"The other day at the gym, I got off a step machine and the pedal swung up too quickly and scraped me pretty bad."

"Since when do you go to the gym?" I retorted, completely confused.

"I started right after you left on break. I needed to do something with my time. Now I go on my long breaks between classes. The girls come with me sometimes too." She explained. "Anyways," she hoisted her leg up on the counter, wobbling for a moment. I quickly put my arm around her waist so she wouldn't lose her balance. "We can test your theory on me now."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I objected, as the irrational fear that her blood would send me into some kind of frenzy swept over me.

She watched me skeptically and finally said, "Edward, nothing is going to happen," as if she could suddenly read my thoughts.

Hesitantly, I let go of her waist and stepped away for a second to grab a paper towel and the paring knife. I handed her the towel, and she used it to help peel back the scab on her leg, wincing slightly. She removed the towel and blood started to flow freely from the wound. I stared at it pooling up and glistening under the light. I could smell the blood, but just barely. Had this been a few months ago, I surely would have had to leave the room to avoid endangering her, but now, I was unaffected.

I tightened my jaw and cut my arm again, I would have gone for a finger, but I figured they had suffered enough for one day. A jagged line of liquid oozed from the cut, again, I squeezed the surrounding tissues to promote more bleeding. Bella watched me curiously as she let her leg bleed all over the place and I positioned my arm close to her wound. A drop began to form, and then another and I squeezed my arm harder, anxious for this to be over. It felt like several hours had passed, when in reality, it was only a few seconds.

I watched Bella's eyes widen with anticipation, her standing leg shook a little, we probably should have found a more ergonomic way to test my theory, I thought to myself. "So," I started, trying to lighten the moment, "is this a turn on or what?" I smiled crookedly at her.

"Oh yeah baby," she replied sarcastically.

The drop fell from my arm, followed another and another, all landing on Bella's pale little leg. I let a few more drop directly into the wound and then retracted my arm. For a moment, nothing happened. Bella's leg continued to ooze, her blood now intermingling with mine and still, nothing happened. I walked away in confusion to find a bandage for my arm.

"Edward!" she cried suddenly. I hurried over to her, putting pressure on my arm and stared at her questioningly. "Look." She whispered, pointing at her leg.

I watched the wound on her leg heal up and disappear. It happened so quickly that if I had blinked, I would have missed it.

"Carlisle, I don't understand what's happening. I don't know how any of this is possible." I said frantically into the phone.

"Edward, settle down, you need to be calm." My father's voice placated me on the other end. "Do you have access to any medical supplies? Syringes, EDTA tubes, serum separators?"

"Not exactly, but I can find a way."

"Good, when you access them, take a blood sample and overnight it to me, I'll use the lab in the hospital and run some tests."

"Fine, I'll see what I can do." I said curtly.

"But Edward, the answer may never be found, it just might be one of those unexplained miracles of nature."

"Miracle?" I scoffed, "More like an abomination."

"I wouldn't go so far to say that." Carlisle gently laughed on the other end.

"Why can't I just be normal?" I asked miserably, pacing around the kitchen, Bella's chocolate brown eyes locked on me the whole time.

"Because, you are an exceptional being, Edward, It's not necessarily a bad thing."

"I don't want to be exceptional. I just want to be average." I said becoming frustrated. She stood beside me and placed a hand on my lower back to stop me from moving. I pulled her into my chest as I listened to Carlisle speak.

"You will never be average, son, you need to eventually come to terms with that." I had no way of responding to that statement, none that I could think of so I just sighed into the phone. "I'm getting paged, I have to go, but try and get that sample out here as soon as you can, I'm anxious to see what the tests will show."

"I'll do my best. Thank you Carlisle, give everyone my regards."

"Edward, I wouldn't worry about this too much if I were you, if this is part of who you are now, it would be foolish to lose sleep over it. Especially since you seem to enjoy sleeping so much," he added. I smiled weakly.

"Have you seen the person who sleeps beside me? You'd enjoy staying in bed too."

I heard him chuckling softly on the other end of the line and I started to feel better, "Give Bella my best. I'll talk to you soon." And with that, he hung up.

I held Bella closer to me and she embraced me tightly and kissed my chest through my shirt. "Tell me something," she said.

"What's that?" I asked looking down at her.

"Why is this upsetting you so much?"

"I'm not sure. Perhaps if it were a different day, I wouldn't feel the same, but it just feels like with everything that's happened today, there's some kind of alarm in the air, some kind of warning that I'm not picking up on. I'm sure I'm just overreacting."

"Possibly, we humans have a tendency to do that."

"Yes, I suppose we do," I rested my chin on top of her head, inhaling the lovely scent of her shampoo. We stood together for a minute or two silently and I knew the conversation of my miraculous, ailment healing blood was over, thankfully. "So, what are your plans for the evening?" I asked.

"I was thinking about going to the gym, I had a test to study for, so I couldn't go between classes today." She replied.

My heart sank. I was hoping she didn't have any plans so then we could spend the night together. I had a few assignments due toward the end of the week, but I had no desire to put any work into them tonight. For some reason today the need to be by her side was overwhelming. I probably could have asked her to stay home with me and she would have obliged, but I didn't want to make her unhappy or make her feel guilty. I tried to think of an alternative so I could satisfy my selfish needs without affecting her schedule too much.

"Would you like some company?" I asked. I couldn't believe the words had come out of my mouth. That was my alternative? Go to the gym with her? I must be desperate.

She started giggling, "You want to go to the gym?"

"It's no more absurd a notion than you going to the gym." I scoffed defensively. "You hate sports, and you despised gym class in high school. "

"Well, it's a little different when it's on my terms," she explained. "I can't do team sports, but I can get by on my own, besides its good for me. I've got to stay healthy if I'm going to live to be a hundred."

"Is that how long you're planning on living?" I teased.

"Yes, just like you. Well, I suppose you'll be two hundred by then technically."

"Alright, well, if you want me to last that long, I should probably be taking better care of myself as well." I said bargaining with her.

"Fine, you can come with me." She said rolling her eyes at me. I liked the idea that she wanted to be around me as much as I wanted to be around her, even if it meant going to the gym together. I cringed a little at the thought, but tried to keep an open mind. Truth be told, I had been planning on starting up some kind of exercise regime within the next few weeks anyways; my pants had become noticeably snugger since January.


	30. Chapter 30 Look After you

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 30**

**Look After You**

I sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Edward to change. I had my gym bag in my car, so I just changed downstairs, while he had gone upstairs to scrounge around for something to wear that was gym appropriate. I heard the bedroom door shut and him padding down the hallway. When he appeared at the top of the stairs he looked like he could have passed for an under armor model, he adjusted the arm strap on his MP3 player and smiled at me.

"Ready?" He asked, his mood from earlier in the day seemingly improved.

"Sure." I tightened the laces on my Nikes and stood up. "Aren't you going to be cold?" I asked, gesturing at the black basketball shorts he was wearing.

"I'll put the heat on in the car." He grabbed his jacket and we headed back to school to use the gym.

There weren't a lot of people at the gym tonight, which was good I guess, that way we would be able to have our choice for equipment to use. He looked around, carefully inspecting the machines around him, deliberating over what he wanted to do.

"What do you want to do first?" I asked cheerfully.

"What were you planning on doing tonight?" He said, answering my question with a question.

"I was planning on doing some running I guess." I said, my voice inflecting so it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"On that?" He asked gesturing toward a treadmill.

"Yes, on that." I replied.

He nodded his head, as if he were affirming to himself that he could do the same.

"Is there something else you'd rather do?" I asked.

"No, no. Running is fine." He said quickly, "I can do that."

"We should stretch first." I informed him as I removed my sweatshirt.

"Why?"

I sometimes forgot that he had no experience with such things, even though he had medical training and his father was a doctor. "You should always stretch before doing anything physical because it reduces the risk for soreness and muscle injury. It warms the body up and prepares it." I explained patiently, sounding a bit too much like a text book.

He nodded at me and said "I should have guessed that," sounding embarrassed.

We stretched for a few minutes, Edward spending most of the time watching me and then casually mimicking me. It was so strange to me, me having to teach Edward something, rather than the other way around.

We each climbed onto a treadmill and I looked at him and said quietly, "I'm not trying to offend you, but do you know how to use one of these?"

"No offense taken love, but yes, I do." He responded with a smile.

"Okay, just checking." I said lightly. I turned on my treadmill and started walking to warm up. I clicked on my Mp3 player and started entering my own world. I had never thought the day would come when I would actually enjoy exercising. It was true, I loathed team sports, but individual sports, I could handle. I looked forward to my gym trips. I would usually run or use the elliptical and then I would lift weights every few days. Granted, I couldn't lift much and my balance and form lacked something, but I was getting better at it. I had even tried a few yoga/Pilates classes and liked those too. I could feel my endurance and strength growing the longer I followed my routine, and I liked the progress. I figured that as I entered my adult life I wanted to be proactive in staying healthy, especially if someday I hoped to be someone's mother, now that the possibility was there.

I looked over at Edward and smiled to myself. He was walking, as I was, but his pace was set at a higher speed than mine, his eyes were focused straight ahead and he looked like he was concentrating. As much as he had mellowed out these last few months, as much as he seemed more comfortable with himself and being around me, he would always be a very serious minded, pensive being. I watched as he moved, he was slender and muscular, I stared at the back of him and it occurred to me that I had never seen any part of Edward from the waist down. Every so often I would catch him shirtless, but he was always very modest about his body. He always had on jackets and button down shirts and long sleeves. I had certainly never seen him in gym shorts, he looked so casual and informal, it was nice. His calves were sculpted and well muscled and at this point, I was paler than him now. He could easily pass as an athlete, even though that was more Emmett's image than Edward's. I let my thoughts wander for just a minute more and then decided to get down to business.

I readjusted the speed on the machine and broke into a slow jog, I saw the back Edward's head cock slightly as he heard the beeping of my machine and then he too, started jogging slowly. We had both been jogging at the same pace for a few minutes and then Edward adjusted his machine to go faster, I did the same. The music blasted in my ears and I kept my footfalls to the beat of it, the song got faster and I readjusted. Edward adjusted his machine. I cast a sideward glance his way and he returned the look with a smirk, this workout was about to turn into a game now. My thoughts immediately went back to New Year's Eve and our drinking competition, another challenge was now in the works.

I adjusted the speed on my treadmill to go up three points, keeping pace with it easily. I didn't look over at him, I just listened this time, within seconds I heard beep, beep, beep, followed by a fourth beep and a whirring sound. I looked over, Edward had upped the ante and put his treadmill on an incline, he locked eyes with me and grinned widely. I angrily stared at him and slammed the buttons on my treadmill, rising higher than him. He narrowed his eyes at me and increased his speed and incline. This childish competition continued on for several minutes until we had reached a point where our bodies would not be able to keep up with the machine. I was no longer jogging, but running at 7.2 miles an hour on an incline of 2.5, Edward's was about the same, now we just had to see who would last longer. My lungs were working fine, but my legs were starting to hurt, I was still very impressed with myself, however. Edward was starting to breathe faster, but didn't look tired yet. Sweat was starting to penetrate through the back of his shirt, and I knew my face was beet red.

He glanced over at me and I at him, "You alright?" I asked between deep breaths.

"Me? I'm fine? You?" He panted, unable to form an entire sentence.

"I'm good." I exhaled.

He nodded and faced straight ahead. He was getting tired, I knew it, a few more minutes and he'd be done, he was concentrating too hard and starting to look uncomfortable. I was getting pretty exhausted myself, but I knew my legs would give out before my lungs did and with Edward it would be the opposite. Then I saw him reach for the buttons on his machine, he was going to start to slow down and I couldn't help but smile, when suddenly, I lost my footing and the treadmill threw me off.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, hitting the emergency stop on his machine and hopping off the side of it. I hit the floor with a thud and a grunt, landing hard on my butt. Edward rushed over to me and helped me up.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his emerald eyes wide with concern.

"I'm fine. You win." I replied miserably.

The concern in his eyes turned to hilarity as I watched the corners of his mouth form into a wide grin. He burst into a loud guffaw, he laughed so hard in fact, that he started coughing, causing even more attention to be drawn to us. He held his stomach and leaned up against his treadmill. I frowned at him and crossed my arms over my chest. He was still laughing at me and then it became so infectious that I started laughing too.

He kissed me on the cheek and said, still chuckling, "No but seriously, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, you jerk." I giggled, I placed my hand on the place on my backside where I had fallen, "ugh, that's going to leave a mark tomorrow."

"Maybe we should go now." He said warmly.

"No way, we still have to work on our abs." I grinned.

By the time we got home it was seven o'clock already. My legs were wobbling and aching even though I had stretched them out. I had overdone it, and I knew this and all I wanted to do was clean myself up and sit down. I still had a pile of work to do for class and was not looking forward to tackling it tonight. I mumbled something indiscernible to Edward about showering and disappeared upstairs. I figured he was probably waiting to shower as well, so I spend it along. I walked into the bedroom running a towel through my hair and found him sprawled out on his back on the bed with a change of clothes clutched in his hand.

"What's the matter?" I asked watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed deeply.

"Everything hurts." He quietly replied.

"It's a good hurt though, isn't it?" I asked with a smirk

He turned his head and looked at me helplessly, "Is there really such a thing?"

"Sure." I said hopping on the bed next to him, still sore but revived from the steam and hot water. "You'll feel better once you've showered. I promise."

With a groan, he pulled himself off the bed and headed toward the bathroom, peeling his shirt off and dropping it on the floor on the way.

I went back downstairs and clicked on the television. I looked over at my backpack and a stack of books longingly to my left. I really needed to get some work done, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Even Edward looked drained, like he wouldn't be able to focus on anything if he tried. This day felt like it was never going to end, I thought back on what happened earlier in the afternoon.

I felt like I was living with an immortal again. Blood that had healing properties? I wondered if this meant his entire body could heal itself, like if he broke his arm or something would it mend quicker in him than it would in say, me? I shook my head at the thought. Clearly, his entire body couldn't heal itself; otherwise he wouldn't have required sutures. It seemed like whenever Edward's blood physically touched something, only then would the healing happen. I bit my lip in concentration, it seemed like his blood had become some kind of salve, if that was possible. Who was I kidding? Anything was possible with Edward, he wasn't a person or a being, he was a phenomenon.

I rolled up my pant leg and stared at the abrasion that no longer existed on my shin. I ran my fingers over it, it was smooth, there wasn't a trace of a scar or a wound. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. Edward had seemed so frantic and worried this afternoon and I thought closely about that. It was also very concerning about what Chef Scott had pointed out earlier in the day about Edward's appearance. I was starting to get a very bad feeling about our return to Alaska, especially after Alice's warning. All of these occurrences had to be connected, but how? I wondered if I should mention any of this to Eleazar or the girls, but how could I get to them without Edward knowing. I had to speak to Alice, I had to know how involved we needed to be getting.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off. I knew Edward still couldn't hear my thoughts, but being as perceptive as he was, he would know something was wrong the moment he saw me. I had to think of something else so as not to get him upset, after all, he had finally just started to relax.

I flipped through the channels and stopped on Discovery, Dirty Jobs was on, I figured that would keep my mind occupied. I went into the kitchen and threw a single sized bag of popcorn in the microwave, knowing that eating would also keep me occupied as my stomach let out a low growl.

By the time my snack was ready, Edward had made his way downstairs and taken a seat on the couch. I still got a hoot out of seeing him in his lounge pants and t-shirt; it was so un-Edwardlike. I smiled to myself as I curled up next to him on the couch. He put his arm around me absentmindedly, totally engrossed in watching Mike Rowe cleaning out a septic tank on TV.

"That is wretched," He commentated. Then he caught a whiff of the popcorn. "What are you eating?" He asked, turning his head.

"Popcorn." I said through a mouthful. "Can I offer you some?"

"No thank you. But I am going to get a drink." He stood up and strode to the kitchen and poured a glass of juice.

"How are you feeling now that you're all showered and changed?" I called to him.

He reappeared in the doorway, "Better, but still sore. No more competitions for awhile if that's alright with you," he smirked. "At least not until I'm in better shape."

"So you'll come with me to the gym again?" I asked brightly.

"I will."

"I know it's nothing like running through the woods and over treetops at superhuman speed like you're used to, but it does the trick."

He snorted a quick laugh and finished his juice and came back to sit with me, this time lying on his side and placing his head in my lap. His hands curled under my thigh and he sighed as I stroked his damp hair.

"Do you miss it?" I asked.

"Miss what love?" He asked closing his eyes.

"Any of it? You know, the running, the strength, not having to worry about getting enough sleep or making dinner or showering? Never being tired?"

"I never said that I wasn't tired all those years." He said wearily.

"Well, you know what I mean."

"I think I do, yes." He replied.

"So, do you miss it?"

"Not really. Maybe some things, but I feel like I've gained much more than I've lost."

"That's a very safe answer." I said while my fingers mindlessly combed through his hair.

I saw the corner of his face pull up into a smile. "Are you not buying it?"

"What do you miss most?"

"What do I miss most…" he repeated in a faraway voice, he sighed, "I suppose I miss having heightened senses. It was very convenient, being able to see in the dark when others couldn't, or being able to smell you across a building rather than just across a room, I enjoyed that too."

"What else?" I whispered.

"I miss knowing that no one could touch me. That I was protected, that I was stronger than anything I came across, and I could win any fight, and that I could protect you." He said softly, with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"You were not put on this Earth to be my shepherd."

"Yes I was," he whispered, squeezing the back of my legs a little.

"What don't you miss?"

"Having to restrain myself all of the time and not being able to sleep of course."

"Of course." I chuckled, "you do seem to have adapted to the whole concept of sleeping very easily. You sleep all of the time."

"I've got ninety some odd years to catch up on." He was silent for a moment, and then unexpectedly, he asked me, "What do you miss most?"

"This has nothing to do with me." I said quickly.

"I believe it does."

I tried to think of a way to come across to him so that he understood that I didn't care what he was, all that mattered to me was who he was. "These things are inconsequential to me. It never mattered to me what you were, just as long as you were mine." I said smoothly.

"Right, it doesn't matter, but let's put our relationship on a very superficial level for just a moment, what do you miss most about me being a vampire, verses me now? I'm curious."

I sighed loudly, and nervously twirled his hair; snagging it for a moment and making him flinch. "I miss…climbing trees with you." I remembered how on a clear night or a day when it wasn't raining Edward would have me climb on his back and then he would scale the top of a pine tree and we would sit on the branches together and look out over the horizon, sometimes for hours.

"I miss that too," he agreed.

"I miss, you coming to my room at night and watching me sleep."

"I still do that. I don't sleep as much as you think I do." He said reaching up and rubbing my arm.

I had no idea he still did that. I thought once Edward was asleep he was out cold; I practically had to drag him out of bed in the morning so we could get to school on time.

"Why do you think it's so difficult for you to get me up in the morning?" He asked, as if reading my mind, "I don't get to sleep until between twelve and one most nights."

"But we usually go to bed at ten." I said confused, and then I realized what he was saying, that he spent those two hours up and watching over me. "Incredible." I said quietly.

We sat silently for awhile, I saw Edward close his eyes again and nuzzle the back of his head against my stomach. I slipped my hand under his shirt, running my knuckles lazily along his side and back. I couldn't help myself, I loved the feel of his skin, and I reveled in the fact that he was actually allowing me to get this close to him now. For the longest time I felt like Edward was some kind of feral animal that I could only get so close to. He stiffened slightly at the touch of my hands on his skin, but then I felt him relax and breathe deeply.

"Does this bother you?" I asked pulling my hand back. It had never occurred to me that I might be making him uncomfortable.

"It feels exquisite actually. I'm sorry, I'm just not quite used to this yet. Please don't stop," he urged, I eagerly resumed what I had been doing. His heavy head was still firmly nestled in my lap when he slid one of his arms down to the floor and up the leg of my sweatpants. My legs still ached from the run and I knew what little muscle I had was tight and tense. He gently rubbed my calf, which on an average day would send my heart into an explosive flutter, but tonight, I was so tired that it was putting me into a trance and making my eyelids heavy. The feel of his skin under my hands was nirvana, and I knew I didn't have much longer before I fell asleep with him in my arms. I felt the movement of his hand on my leg slowing and I knew that he too, was feeling the same.

I didn't really wake up per se; I just felt small movements around me and then strong arms underneath me, picking me up. I felt my head drop against his chest and his breath on me and heard a light switch snap off. I was in bed then, the pillow smelt like my shampoo and I felt the comforter pull over me like a heavy wave. The last thing I felt before I truly fell asleep was a warm body against mine and his lips on my neck.


	31. Chapter 31 Empathy and Kind Words

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 31**

**Empathy and Kind Words**

I woke up the next morning alone because it was one of those days where Edward and I were on opposite schedules. We did have one class together at noon, and that was my first class of the day. I glanced over at the radio, nine o'clock. I groaned and stumbled out of bed, and headed downstairs to start the day. I managed to get some schoolwork done over coffee and breakfast, pushing my time to the limit, if I waited another ten minutes, I would be late. I hurried up and got dressed and rushed out to the garage. I grumbled as I climbed into the escalade. Was this really necessary? I longed for my crappy old truck or at least for a ride in the familiar Volvo. I avoided driving this thing at all costs, but on some days, it was necessary.

I arrived at school a few minutes early and contemplated getting another cup of coffee, but decided against it. I entered the lecture hall, mentally preparing myself to endure an hour of biology. I really hated having to go to biology lab and lecture back to back two days in a row, but what choice did I have, the scheduling was very strict. I glanced around and found Edward sitting alone in the back of the room listening to his Mp3 player glancing over some notes. I made my way over to him, his serious face brightening up when he saw me.

"Good morning," he said taking off his headphones and moving his jacket for me to sit down.

"Good afternoon actually."

"It's afternoon to me, it's morning for you." He smirked.

"I hate night classes." I grumbled pulling my books out of my bag.

"Welcome to the glamorous life of being a freshman."

"This whole scheduling thing better improve soon or I'm dropping out." I warned as a piece of hair fell out of my ponytail. He reached over and stuck it behind my ear, letting his hand linger on my face for a moment.

"How did class go today with Chef?" I asked.

Edward dropped his hand and looked down at the table, "fine, he seemed fine today."

"Did he comment on your hand?" I asked, looking at the jagged line of sutures holding his finger together.

"No," he said uneasily.

"What's the matter?" I asked, furrowing my brow in concern.

"I suspect, but I can't confirm, that he may have seen something yesterday."

"When you cut yourself?"

"Yes. I was replaying everything in my mind today and I think he may have seen something, I can't be sure though."

"Let's not worry about that now. Besides, who would believe him if he told anyone?" I asked trying to reassure myself.

Edward opened his mouth to comment, when the professor started lecture. He stopped short and turned around to face the front of the room, and placed his hand on my thigh under the desk.

We didn't speak for the rest of the class, the lecture seemed like it was never ending today. I tapped my pen impatiently, staring at the clock, I felt antsy today. I hadn't even realized I was doing anything until Edward shot a hand out to the side of him and held my wrist still to stop the tapping. When class ended, Edward was headed to lunch and I was on my way to sociology. He walked me to class, kissed me softly on the cheek and departed. His day was nearly over and mine had just begun. I dragged myself into the classroom and sat down beside Danielle.

"Hey Creepy!" She said cheerfully. That was her nickname for me.

"Hey!" I said, instantly smiling. I had grown very close to Danielle in a short time and I welcomed the time we spent together.

"What's new and exciting?" She asked pulling out a binder and glancing down at her perfectly manicured purple nails.

"Not a whole lot. New color?" I asked gesturing at her nails.

"Oh yeah, do you like it? It's called puma purple."

"Love it." I said brightly.

"Bella, why don't you come with me sometime and get your nails done too? We could make a whole day thing of it, have a couple of drinks, get you good and saucy and then you could go home and scratch up Edward's back." She teased.

I snickered, a little embarrassed but amused none the less. "I don't know if he'd enjoy that."

"Don't be silly, of course he would!"

I smiled mischievously averting my eyes to the floor and then back up at Danielle, "Well, he might enjoy it a little."

"He seems like he has a bit of a dark side."

"You have no idea," I replied.

"Or, if you want, we could skip the nails and just have a couple of drinks and watch a movie." She said in a less silly tone.

"Yeah, that'd be great actually."

"Awesome, what's your schedule looking like?" She asked, excitement rising in her voice.

"It's pretty open. I don't have any plans for the weekend. As far as I know, I don't have any big projects or exams coming up."

"Do you want to come back to the dorm with me after class on Friday?"

"Sure, that sounds good. What do you want me to bring?"

Danielle flicked her hand carelessly to the side, "Bella, you don't have to bring anything you know that." I'd been to Danielle's dorm a few times. She was one of the fortunate ones who had a whole room to herself with a spare bed. Her original roommate was a no show this semester, so she was a single, living in a double. She was the type of person who liked her alone time, but loved to have company over, and when you came over, she wanted you to feel at home, even if it was just a dorm.

"Are you sure? Let me at least bring the movie."

"Fine, but no chick flicks."

"It's a deal."

The same day I made plans with Danielle, I got a phone call from Angela back in Forks. I wasn't able to answer my phone at the time and she had left me a message. She and Ben broke up. She was devastated, they were supposed to spend Spring break together in Florida, and now all that had changed. They were both very busy with school and their parents were piling the pressure on. They didn't have time to see one another except every few weeks and everything had become very strained and awkward between them. I felt my stomach curl into knots as I remembered how things had been between Edward and me before he left me. My heart ached for Angela as I listened to her small voice on the other end of the phone. Empathy overwhelmed me, and I quickly made it my business to call her back immediately.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded sad and tired.

"Angela?"

"Bella!" She exclaimed, perking up.

"Hi, I'm sorry I couldn't get to the phone when you called. I was in class." I explained.

"It's five o'clock, you're still in class? That sucks."

"Angela I have the worst schedule ever this semester."

"How's everything going out there in the wilds of Alaska?" She asked.

"Everything is fine out here. How are you doing? I'm so sorry to hear about you and Ben."

"Oh, that. Yeah, thanks. I don't know what went wrong, Bella. It's so awful, one moment we were fine, and the next, we were broken up." She said hoarsely. "What did you do when Edward…" her voice trailed off.

"I spent more time with my friends. Or at least I tried to. I don't think Jessica will ever forgive me for that one night we went out to the movies."

Angela laughed softly on the other end, "Yeah, I heard about that incident, I don't think she ever did forgive you for that one."

"So what are you going to do for Spring break now? You already bought your plane ticket didn't you?"

"Yeah, I spent like three hundred bucks, I can't get my money back either."

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head, "Angela, can you still exchange them?"

"I don't see why not, I mean, it's still like a month and a half away, why?"

"I know it's not Florida, it's nowhere close actually, but would you like to come out here for a few days?" I asked.

"To Alaska?" She asked, sounding a little confused.

"Sure, you should be around friends and away from Forks. You can stay with me and Edward."

"In the dorm?"

"No, we have a house," I started and then corrected myself, nineteen year olds did not own houses together, "Actually, it belongs to Dr. Cullen, we're just occupying it while we're in school."

"That's great Bella. Do you think Edward would mind?" She asked uneasily.

"No, of course not." I reassured her, I knew he wouldn't be bothered at all if she stayed with us for a few days, he liked Angela.

"I don't know, I feel like I'm imposing."

"Please Angela," I pleaded, "I'm not going to be able to get back to Forks until school is done for the year, and I really would love to have you out here with us."

"Weeel, okay." She said happily, "I'll have to check with my parents first though, but I don't think they'll mind. I'll probably be a lot safer with the two of you then I would in Florida with a bunch of drunken college students that I don't know."

"Naturally," I replied, "we're about as boring as you can get, we're in bed by ten."

"Oh, Bella, I have to get going, I promised my parents I'd meet them for dinner, but, let me talk to them and think about this a little and then I'll get back to you."

"Perfect." I replied.

"Okay then, I'll talk to you soon, and Bella, thanks."

"Anytime, and if you need to talk, ever, call me." I pressed. Something had me very worried about Angela. Without Ben, and the way her parents were, she had virtually no support system back in Forks, it made me homesick.

"I will."

By the time I was able to finally head home after finishing my classes, it was eight thirty, the drive home would take me twenty minutes. I couldn't get there fast enough, being alone with my thoughts at night was never a good thing. The sound of Angela's voice stayed with me, she sounded deadpan, like a robot almost, and it was all too familiar to me. As clearly as I could remember the first time I saw Edward, the first time he spoke to me, I could also remember the day he left me. I could remember every part of it, down to the finest detail as to what I was wearing, or what I had for breakfast that day. Panic started to overwhelm me as I relived the emptiness and darkness that I felt for all those months he was gone. Poor Angela, I wanted to fly back to Forks right now and hug her and tell her it was going to be alright. I wished that someone had done that for me, but then I remembered that someone had; Jacob. I wondered what he was up to right now, and then my thoughts immediately went back to Edward. I wondered if Jacob had seen anything unusual going on in Forks, I supposed if he had he or Alice would have called by now. I thought of my nightmare and what my life would be like without Edward in it. I shuddered as the horrible vision of the blood and Edward's head falling back came over me. Suddenly a completely irrational and urgent need to see him came over me.

Luckily, I was almost home, I raced the engine on the Cadillac and zipped down the street, finally, our driveway was in sights. I quickly parked in the garage and hastily got out of the driver seat, not even bothering to gather my things. I had a horrible feeling that I would get inside and for some reason he would be gone, gone forever, never to be seen again. The pit of my stomach churned and my heart began to beat wildly. This must be what a panic attack feels like I thought to myself. My chest tightened as I put my hand on the doorknob, I prepared myself for the worst.

I slowly turned the knob and opened the door and was immediately bombarded with the smell of prosciutto and garlic. Not good enough I thought, I needed to see him for myself in order to stop this horrible feeling from overtaking me. I walked into the kitchen and he wasn't there. Topaz sat on the counter and mewed at me happily. My eyes darted around the kitchen in search of him, nowhere; he was nowhere to be found.

"Edward?" I called, trying to maintain a steady tone. "Edward?" I asked, my voice rising fearfully this time.

He jogged into the kitchen, looking alarmed, "Bella?" I saw his face and practically collapsed into him. "What's the matter love?" I clung to him, on the verge of tears. He held me away from him and it nearly killed me. He studied my face, concern in his brilliant eyes. A few pieces of hair clung to my now clammy face, he frantically pushed them away. "Bella what's the matter?"

I stared at him and it finally sunk in that he was here, and he was real, my heartbeat slowed and the knots in my stomach unfurled. I grabbed at him until I was tucked safely in his arms. "Nothing, nothing. I just got scared for a minute. It's stupid, completely irrational." I muttered into his shoulder. "I didn't know where you were."

"I was just in the other room, changing a CD," he replied softly, kissing the top of my head. "You're shaking. What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I was fine, and then I just got really, panicked."

"Hang on; let me take the food off the stove." He said moving with me closer to the stove.

My heart raced again, "no! Don't let me go!" The words flew out of my mouth so quickly, I couldn't stop them. He must have thought I had lost my mind. I felt like I had.

"Bella, stop, it'll take one second." He let me go and with one rapid movement took the sauté pan off the burner. He immediately returned and wrapped his arms around me again. "Sh, sh, sh, it's alright," He murmured, rocking me a little.

"I don't know what's happening to me." I whispered into his shoulder.

"Calm down, everything is fine. I think you're having an anxiety attack." His voice was low and soothing and I could smell his scent underneath all of the garlic and prosciutto cooking. "What brought this on?" he asked, trying to get to the bottom of my angst.

"I don't know."

"What did you do today?" he asked, still keeping his voice low and calm.

"I went to class, saw you, went to my next class, made plans with Danielle, went to a few more classes, ate lunch, and then, Angela called." Then I remembered, "She and Ben broke up." I explained as he rubbed circles against my back.

"She asked me what I did when you…" my voice trailed off, "and then I thought about…and then I just, fell apart."

"Oh Bella," he said softly, "I'm so sorry."

I was starting to calm down, "please don't apologize," I said pulling away from him, "there's nothing to be sorry about."

"Aside from the fact that memories of the biggest mistake of my life are now giving you anxiety attacks." He said miserably.

"No, it wasn't that. It was something else; I know it wasn't that, it came on so suddenly, I just, had an urgent need to be home, and to see you. I feel better now though, how did you know what to do?"

"I didn't really do anything."

"No, you did, you distracted me. How did you know that was what needed to be done?" I questioned.

I watched his face, he furrowed his brow in concentration, and opened his mouth to speak, but then hesitated, his face was a mask of confusion, "I think I can remember my mother having anxiety attacks on occasion." He looked over at me, bewildered, as if he had no idea where that thought had come from, "I think I can remember my father doing the same for her. Talking about her day until she was so occupied telling him about it that it calmed her enough to stop the panic. I've also seen Jasper do the same for Alice when her visions become too strong."

When he said that, I remembered seeing the same once before, Alice's vision had changed, and she had to draw what she was seeing. I remember seeing Jasper hurry to her side and start talking to her about what she was seeing, trying to keep her calm. "So that was an anxiety attack?" I asked.

"I think so," he said cautiously.

"Great, I hope this isn't going to become a frequent occurrence."

"It happens to everyone at least once in a lifetime, studies have proved it. Now you'll know what to do when it happens to me." He smiled his crooked smile that I adored and rubbed my arms briskly. "Are you alright now?"

"I think so."

"Good." He stared at me for a moment more to be sure and then returned to the stove, he turned the gas back on and resumed sautéing, tossing the prosciutto and garlic lightly in the pan. He set the pan back down and added a plate of cut up chicken breasts to the mix.

"What are you making?" I asked, suddenly remembering how hungry I was.

"Our February project requires us to create a sautéed dish for part of our final, so, I'm testing out a few things ahead of time."

"What's in it?" I asked peeking over his shoulder.

"Prosciutto, garlic, red pepper flakes, boneless chicken, olive oil, and shredded up golden beets, served over pasta." He said raising an eyebrow as some of the olive oil popped and got on his shirt.

"That sounds fantastic." I said, breathing in the savory aroma that filled the kitchen.

"We'll see," he said skeptically as he tossed the contents of the pan once more.

"When's it going to be done?" I asked.

"About ten minutes or so."

"I'll pour drinks." I offered. "Spring break is coming up in a month or so." I started, pulling two glasses out of the cupboard.

"Yes it is. Did you want to go somewhere?"

"Not exactly, did you have anything planned?"

"No, but it's not too late if you wanted to do something." He answered back, not looking up from his pan.

"I was actually hoping that we could have company." I said opening up a new container of milk.

Edward glanced over his shoulder at me quizzically, "who?"

"Angela." I said quietly.

"Whatever you want love, that's fine." He said carelessly.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I know I just kind of put you on the spot."

"No, really Bella, it's fine. It'd be nice for someone to come see us for a change. Maybe Alice and Jasper would want to visit as well."

"Do you think?" I asked brightly.

"Sure, I'll call them tomorrow." I heard a clicking sound as Edward turned off the stove, removing his concoction from the burner and tossing it with the pasta he had prepared. He fixed a plate and placed it in front of me topping it with parmesan cheese. "Now, tell me what you think, honestly."

"You're making me your guinea pig?" I teased.

"Of course," he scoffed with a smirk.

"More cheese please," I bargained before digging in. He rolled his eyes and grated me another small pile over my food. "Oh my God, this is fantastic." I said halfway through my bite.

His eyes brightened up as he sat up straighter in his chair, "Really? It came out alright?" he asked in disbelief.

I nodded eagerly and took another bite, "really Edward, this is delicious." He didn't respond, but I swore I saw him puff out his chest slightly.


	32. Chapter 32 Wet Dream

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 32**

"**Wet" Dream**

The dramatics of the evening had seemed to pass, Bella was showering and it was almost eleven. I was exhausted, as much as I would have liked to stay up longer, my body had other plans. I couldn't even wait out her shower to say goodnight to her, the second I hit the bed, I was heavy lidded and didn't have the strength to form a sentence.

_I saw myself, I felt a woman's hands on me, they weren't Bella's, gripping my shoulders tightly behind me, massaging them, moving over my biceps and down my forearms. They were cool and strong, but feminine; it felt exquisite, but not familiar. They moved back up my arms, over my chest, sinuously down my stomach over my thighs and back up again. I could smell someone; I felt a body behind me, kneeling perhaps. A tongue flicked against my ear lobe, lips on my neck, moisture, someone was licking me? I groaned at the feel of it and let my head fall back and my eyes shut. The feel of someone's mouth on me intensified as they moved over the length of my neck down to my clavicle and up the front of my throat, I breathed heavily, their pheromone laced scent intoxicating me into a lull that allowed whoever it was to explore me more._

_The hands were back, groping seductively over my stomach, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. My chest rose and fell in rapid succession; I had been leaning back on the heels of my hands the entire time, but couldn't hold back any longer. I reached back and pulled her face into mine, she kissed me with such ferocity that I almost couldn't breathe…almost. My hands knotted in her hair and she growled. She swiveled her body and was in my lap, her hips digging into mine, she grabbed fistfuls of my hair as she kissed me, like Bella did. Bella, this wasn't Bella, I knew it wasn't and I couldn't stop myself. My senses were in overdrive and for this moment I didn't care that it wasn't her. I pretended it was. I grabbed at her waist and pulled her hard against me. The mysterious visitor cried out and buried her face in my neck, biting me lightly. I groaned as she started pulling my shirt off and lapped at my chest, like an animal in heat. She forcefully pushed me back and crawled over me, grinding her hips into mine to the point where it almost hurt, I gripped the back of her thighs and she dropped her face against my stomach and started moving closer to my waist. She was like a stone, barely movable, I started peeling her top off and then with some unknown strength flipped her over and mounted her. She moaned in surprise and called out my name, driving me crazy. I roughly pinned her arms back against the mattress and kissed her throat, moving further down and running my tongue over her exposed breasts. She called out my name again and I responded by growling out a name of my own; Tanya._

I shot up instantly, and gasped, looking around me in search of the witch. I saw nothing of the sort. I saw my bedroom, darkened and silent. I heard light breathing and looked to my right. Bella was sleeping soundly, looking as angelic and beautiful as a Botticelli. I put my hand over my chest and felt my heart thudding under my sopping wet t-shirt. I took deep breaths, too numerous to count and glanced at Bella again. She was still asleep; she hadn't heard anything, that is if I even said anything, and clearly she hadn't seen anything, it was just a dream; an erotic dream that hadn't involved her. I felt like the hugest asshole on the planet, and then a new feeling of horror cascaded over me.

"Oh God no, please no…" I whispered to myself, frantically patting the sheets around me with my hands in search of the slightest bit of evidence. Everything was dry as a bone. Relief now swept over me as I let my body fall back against the pillows. The light thud I made caused Bella to stir slightly and I knew I had to get up for a minute to pull myself together. I was too wound up to sleep right now, clearly.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen to get a drink. I clicked on the light carelessly and was greeted by Tanya, perched on the island smirking at me.

"Gah!" I cried out in surprise.

"Hello." She said smugly with a little wave.

I ran my fingers through my damp disheveled hair and shut my eyes in frustration, "what are you doing here?" I asked slowly, trying to maintain my indoor voice.

"Just wanted to stop by, I haven't seen you since you left for Forks in December." She hopped off the counter and strode toward me. "I wanted to see the finished product of your…experiment." She narrowed her amber eyes at me in inspection.

"Voila." I said sarcastically, opening my arms to the sides.

She touched the side of my face and my body tensed as I remembered the dream. "Kate was right, you are warm. That feels amazing to me. Can I feel your heartbeat?" at least she asked, I thought to myself.

"Maybe some other time," I said pulling away from her and walking to the refrigerator.

"You smell odd." She said matter of factly, turning and watching me.

"I'm having a rough night, from what I'm told I smell a lot better when I'm not drenched in perspiration." I snapped, pouring a glass of cranberry juice.

"What's the matter, Edward?" She asked sounding genuinely concerned. I immediately felt guilty about being short with her.

"Nothing," I said sitting down at the island, "it doesn't matter, I'm sorry."

She sat across from me and reached for my hand and held it in her icy iron grip, staring at me congenially. "Did you have a nightmare?" She asked, "Is that why you're up?"

"You could say that." I responded taking a sip of my juice.

She dropped my hand suddenly and glared at me angrily, "Edward Cullen, you chaste, monogamous asshole, you consider an encounter with me to be a nightmare?!"

I choked on my juice and began coughing violently. I looked over at her and she raised an eyebrow at me and smiled darkly. "At least I have the decency to say that it was good for me."

I had forgotten, one of Tanya's many dark talents was that she could control other people's dreams. I was furious, I felt violated and intruded upon, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" I seethed through my gritted teeth rising from my seat.

Her smile grew darker "Relax Edward, I was just having a little fun." She patronized, touching my hair.

I slapped her hand away, nearly breaking my own against her granite structure. "My mind is not a playground for your perversions." I snarled, my eyes burning into hers.

"Oh come on, no harm was done. I'm just trying to get you loosen up a little." She seemed unaffected by the fact that I wanted to strangle her. She truly was more upset by the fact that our little rendezvous together had upset me more than it had aroused me, at least in real life.

"Fantasy is part of being human Edward, you're going to have to get used to it." She said nonchalantly.

"_You_ are not my fantasy Tanya! She is." I said pointing upstairs.

"Speaking of which, you're going to wake her up if you can't control your temper."

She was right; my voice had been steadily rising since this conversation began. I sat back down and scowled at her. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" I muttered miserably.

Hurt spread across her face, real hurt, and again, I felt guilty. "You really do hate me don't you?"

"No, Tanya, I don't hate you. Nothing could be further from the truth, I'm sorry I don't meet up to your expectations as a…" I hesitated, I had never spoken this directly to her before, "as a spouse, but you can't keep going about like there's some kind of sexual tension between us that needs to be released, because, there isn't. There never was, and there certainly never will be. You're part of my family, and that is how I see you and that is how I love you, and not in any other way."

"I know all that Edward. I just like giving you a hard time because you're such a different person from me. I want to _be_ you more than I want to be _with_ you at this point."

"We'd be toxic to one another if we ever got together." I assured her.

"I know we would. That's why this is fun for me, you're so straight and narrow and I'm so crooked and loose."

"You certainly have the loose part right." I joked halfheartedly.

She chuckled softly, "I'm truly sorry about tonight. I didn't think it would upset you."

"I'm slowly coming to realize that most things tend to upset me." I explained.

"You're probably right about that. Listen Edward, let me tell you something, I know that you don't think much of some of the things I've done, but, I believe I can offer you some advice." She said in a very serious tone.

"Go on then." I encouraged tiredly.

"The way I have chosen to live my life is very gratifying. I don't go from day to day regretting much. I don't always do the right thing, I don't always put others before me, but I feel as if I am a decent person. You seem to, not necessarily always do the right thing, but I think you deprive yourself of what you really want. You're very restricted and I think that will catch up to you someday." I opened my mouth to object, but no words came. She patted my arm gently and continued, "You need to give yourself a little gratification every now and then and let go of some of that control that you endlessly cling to. Especially now, that your years are numbered, you don't want to leave this earth, feeling…unsatisfied with choices you've made. Safety and control are not the greatest pleasures that life has to offer." She raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously at me.

Every word Tanya had said was true, at least nowadays it was. It was true, I had gone through a rebellious stage early on in my immortality, where I had succumb to my urges and emotions, mostly having to do with the consumption of human blood, but that was a fleeting stage in my life. It had been over long ago. There was also a time when I would join Emmett and Jasper eagerly if there was even a hint of combat in the air, now, more recently, I would think twice about that. I was becoming more and more like Carlisle every day, responsible, weighing the consequences in my mind now that I had someone else in my life that I was living for; Bella. Everything I did mattered more now because it had a direct effect on her. Although she was rational and intelligent and mature, she was forever ruled by her emotions and her hormones, therefore, I had to be the logical one, the safe one. I, the most dangerous creature to ever walk among humans was supposed to protect her, to protect us. It was a role I had assigned myself and hadn't regretted since.

"But at what cost Edward?" Tanya asked out loud, listening to my thoughts.

"There's no cost." I answered firmly.

"I understand why you've done the things you have in your past, but now, all of that has dissolved. You're just a regular, human man. You are now as dangerous to her as any other male on this planet would be. It's alright to have a little fun, you deserve it and so does she. And just so you know, this isn't a conversation about your physical relationship," she said picking the thoughts right out of my mind and bringing them to light. "This is my wish for you to live a happy, slightly reckless life, while you're able to. While you're young and rich and have little to no responsibilities. I just like to use the physical aspect of it as an example." She added.

As much as I hated to admit it, everything she was saying was completely true, and I believed her when she said it. I did love her, very much, even though she maddened me to no end. She was half the reason my family and I separated from the Denali clan in the first place. I felt her eyes on me, examining my face, I got a brief glimpse into her thoughts, and they were sad.

"What is it Tanya?" I asked wearily.

"What's it like? Being human again? I can't remember what it was like the first time around."

"It's…difficult at times, but I have no regrets. I'm grateful I've been given a second chance."

"That's a very typical answer coming from you, truthful, but neither good nor bad. You should have been a politician." She teased.

I chuckled at her comment, "Alright, what do you want to know? I love to eat, I love to sleep, coffee is a godsend, and I got winded on a treadmill the other day. On New Year's Eve I got drunk and the next day was hung over. I spend hours doing homework because I can't read as quickly as I used to and I take every opportunity possible to touch Bella's skin. I dress like a slob more often than a gentleman because I can't drag myself out of bed in the morning, I'm freezing on most days and I hate shaving." Tanya's eyes lit up in amusement as she listened intently to my rant, I felt a wide smile forming on my face as I listed more things off on my hand, "muscle aches, sweating," I held up my hand that had the stitches in it, "I sliced my hand open the other day, I have to wear my seatbelt, and I spend half of my time in class picturing Bella naked. There, how's that?"

Sweet, musical laughter echoed from Tanya, she crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head, "It doesn't sound that fantastic to me anymore. It sounds like you're a weak, sweaty klutz with no athletic ability"

"That's about right. Still attracted to me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not really." She giggled.

"Good."

There was quiet between us for a few moments, Tanya looked pensive then she asked, "Would you do it over again?"

"Over and over," I answered.

"Good, that's all that matters, your happiness." She stood up and said, "I should leave you now, it's probably past your bedtime." She mocked with a smirk.

"Thanks for the romp, but please don't ever do that to me again." I said, standing.

"Fine," she said with an irritated sigh, "but I know you enjoyed yourself."

"That's irrelevant." I replied, carefully hiding the fact from her in my mind that I had.

She smiled playfully and taking my chin lightly, kissed my cheek. "Come by to see everyone soon, you and Bella, she owes me a billiards rematch."

"We'll do that."

"Goodbye Edward." And suddenly, she was gone, as if I had been in the kitchen by myself the entire time.


	33. Chapter 33 Bodie Ross

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 33**

**Bodie Ross**

It was finally Friday, and I had plans with Danielle. I finished up my last class at one o'clock, it was an early day for everyone because it was Friday, Edward's last class got out at two, and I promised to meet him for lunch after. I sat in the student center at a table with a book open waiting. Punctual as usual he came sauntering in from the outside, still wearing his sunglasses, his hair all windblown and disheveled, the necklace I had given him swinging proudly on the outside of his fitted shirt. I hadn't seen him ever take that necklace off since the day I gave it to him, which was positively endearing to me.

He located me immediately and kissed my cheek before sitting down.

"Hello love."

"Hello." I replied with a smile, it always seemed strange to me that he had a nickname for me, but I had none for him. But Edward was someone you just couldn't give a nickname to, it seemed all wrong to me to call him anything besides 'Edward'. Maybe I'd come up with something someday. "How was class?" I asked shutting my book.

"Fine, I submitted my recipe for that pasta dish I made the other night, now I just have to prepare it the day of the test."

"Excellent," I said.

"Do you want to go out to lunch today? It's still early." He asked, his green eyes piercing through me.

"I would, but I told Danielle I'd meet her around three thirty." I said regretfully.

"That's right; I forgot you had plans for today. That's fine, we can eat here."

"What are you going to do tonight?" I asked getting up and heading over to the salad bar, Edward in toe behind me.

"I don't know. Stay home I suppose, work on some music maybe."

"Edward," I said firmly, stopping in my tracks and turning to him so he almost bumped into me, "why don't you go out and do something?"

"Such as?" He asked, confused.

"I don't know, go to a bar or something, meet up with some guys, go to a party, check out a band somewhere." I said shrugging my shoulders and grabbing a pair of salad tongs.

"By myself?"

"No, didn't you say there are a few guys in your class that you get along with? Didn't they invite you to a poker game or something last weekend?" I pressed.

"Well, yes, but, I'm not really…" He started.

"Aren't they in a frat or something?"

"Bella, please don't ask me to socialize with a bunch of spoiled, entitled, drunken, date raping fraternity guys." He said handing me a bottle of salad dressing.

"That's a very closed minded approach to friendship," I scolded, scowling at him.

"I don't need friends like that."

"Who's to say that's what it would be like?" I argued.

"Can we please just have lunch?" He interrupted, his brow furrowing in frustration.

"Yes." I said, defeated. We sat back down and were quiet, until I spoke up again. "I'm just saying, you wanted the college experience and all you're doing is staying at home with our cat being antisocial." I informed him stuffing a tomato into my mouth.

He dropped his fork in irritation, "Bella," he grumbled, "If I felt like going out, I would. I just, don't."

"Why not?"

"Why do you care? I'm not stopping you from seeing your friends, why does it matter to you what I do with my spare time?"

"Because Edward, your world is so small."

"I enjoy simplicity."

"Fine," I said with a hint of finality in my tone.

"Thank you." He said picking up his fork again. "What are you and Danielle doing tonight?" He asked, taking a bite of his lunch.

"We're renting a movie, having a few drinks, just hanging out." I explained.

He raised an eyebrow at me for a second and then looked back down at his plate, "Make sure and call me if you need a ride. I don't care what time it is."

"I will." I paused for a moment and then placed a hand on his forearm; he looked up, waiting for me to say something. "Edward, do something fun tonight."

He smiled his irresistible crooked smile at me and said, "Alright love. I'll call _you_ if _I _need a ride tonight."

"I don't care what time it is." I said smiling at him.

I got to Danielle's dorm shortly after three thirty; I was running a little late, not that it really mattered to her anyways. When she opened the door her room was immaculately clean as it always was.

"Hey creepy! What'd you rent?" She welcomed as she opened the door.

"A classic!" I said reaching into my bag, "The Ring," I placed the DVD down on the bureau.

"That's why I call you creepy. Perfect! We'll watch in a few minutes. But right now, I have a surprise for you!" She brimmed with delight as she reached into her bedside table and pulled out a bottle of nail polish. "I got you your own," she said handing it to me.

"Why did you do that?" I grumbled with a small smile

"Because I wanted to, I got you a maroon color because it's not as flamboyant as some of the other colors they had."

I held the little bottle up to the light and examined it. As a general rule, I didn't wear nail polish, but the color was deep and subdued, and very sexy. I actually could picture myself wearing it, occasionally. "Thanks Danielle, I really like this color."

"So you'd wear it?" She asked brightly.

"Sure." I said, "Occasionally."

"How about occasionally starts today?" She asked, she reminded me a little of Alice, they would probably get along very well. I felt homesick for a brief moment.

"Fine. Go ahead, paint them." I said relinquishing control of my hands and fanning them out in front of her.

"Great! I'll get the stuff."

"Wait, there's stuff?"

"Well, yeah, I have to do my nails too, so I'll get you started and then we can watch the movie while they dry."

I hadn't the slightest idea of what I was getting into. Renee was always heavily into her appearance, she did the whole thing, the makeup, the clothes, the nails. There really was no explaining how she and Charlie ever matched up long enough to marry and have me. Charlie would wear the same flannel shirt for weeks on end as long as it didn't smell or have food on it verses my mom, who changed her clothes three times a day. I tried to find a medium ground between their two extremes, but always ended up more like Charlie.

Danielle had the whole manicure thing down to a science. First, she removed all of her old nail polish, then she soaked her hands for a total of fifteen minutes, followed by hand cream, pushing down the cuticles, filing, shaping, buffing and then finally, polish application. She managed to finish her entire pampering session in about thirty five minutes, while I was painfully lagging behind at about fifty. She didn't seem to mind, she just kept babbling on about school and her family while I struggled to avoid getting red nail polish all over my fingers.

"There," I said finally, after an hour or so.

"Let me see." Danielle said looking closely at my hands; I wiggled my fingers at her, very impressed with myself for doing such a good job. "That looks great Bells, almost salon quality, I should have you do mine next time too."

I smiled proudly at her and wiggled my fingers again, I had done a decent job, and I did like the color. I wondered what Edward would think, and then I wondered what he was going to do tonight. The thought quickly left my mind as Danielle got set up to put the movie in.

"Have you ever seen this movie before?" I asked, perching myself on the edge of her bed and crossing my legs underneath me.

"No, have you?"

"Yes," I said, "here," I handed her a pillow, "you're going to need this."

"For what?" She asked, confused.

"You'll see," I said darkly with a grin.

The first time I saw The Ring, I was in high school and was so scared by the end of the movie that I couldn't go into a room in my house without turning a light on, and if I were anywhere near a TV and it was dark, forget it, I'd get heart palpations. I took the TV out of my bedroom simply because of that movie and hadn't had one in my room since, well, not until Edward and I had moved in together.

We watched the movie together, sharing snarky comments back and forth throughout and eating chips and salsa. I don't think I had ever laughed so hard in my life than when Danielle and I got together. By the last half hour of the movie, she had taken my advice and was using the pillow to hide behind. I had my own pillow that I was protecting myself behind as well. Then, being that it was a dorm, there was an unexpected bang at the door, during a tense part in the movie. Danielle and I both cried out in response and then we looked at each other and giggled like two stupid girls. She paused the movie and went to answer the door.

Standing in the doorway was a young man with dirty blond wavy hair that towered over Danielle, his trim physique framed perfectly by his worn jeans and thermal shirt, a military style baseball cap casting a shadow over his clear blue eyes.

"Bodie!" She said in an irritated tone. Bodie Ross, a very well known junior all over campus grinned down at her. Bodie had it all in everyone's eyes. He was a part time RA, rented a huge house off of campus, had a ton of money, and a GPA of something ridiculous like 3.9999999. He was an engineering major, so his intelligence was legit and not fabricated, he frequented California in the summer where he surfed semi professionally, he was an avid hiker, etcetera, etcetera, and the list goes on. He was the most eligible bachelor on campus and the most sought after.

"Hey Danielle, sorry to bother you," he peeked around the corner and saw me sitting on the bed, casually flipping through a magazine. "Oh, hey Bella!" He said sweetly, flashing me a smile so perfect that you could picture it in a toothpaste ad.

"Hey Bodie!" I replied cheerfully, briefly looking up from my magazine.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're watching The Ring." Danielle said flatly, placing her hands on her hips. Bodie wasn't a bad guy, but she and I both seemed to be eluded by the charms that drew most people to him. He spent a lot of time around Danielle's dorm and the novelty of him had worn off of her long ago. Now, he was just Bodie.

"Ugh, no way! I love this movie!" He said pushing his way into the room. Danielle and I both rolled our eyes at each other. He flopped down on the bed beside me, slightly disturbing the comfortable position I had settled myself into.

Danielle spent more time with him than I did, he was an acquaintance to me really and I didn't know very much about him. I tolerated him, he was outgoing and liked to be noticed, and clearly, judging from my past history of friendships, he was not my type. Angela, Jacob, Alice, Edward, myself, we tend to stay under the radar, Bodie liked to be right out in the open.

"I don't remember anyone inviting you." Danielle said sardonically.

"I invited myself." He said smiling. "I won't stay long; I just want to see this one scene."

"Well, move over then, you're practically in my lap dude." I said grinning at the look on his face.

"How do you know that's wasn't what I was aiming for?" He asked smoothly, turning to face me.

"Gross Bodie," I grumbled, kicking him lightly in the thigh.

"I'd like to hear you say that in front of her boyfriend." Danielle teased, pulling his hat over his eyes. Okay, so maybe he could still charm her a little.

"Aw, he wouldn't mind," he said readjusting his hat.

"Really?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Really." He said firmly.

"You've never even met him, how do you know?" Danielle snickered.

"I think you made him up," he said ignoring Danielle and smirking at me.

"Is that so?" I instigated crossly.

"Yes, I do. I've never seen him, you're never together, I think you have an imaginary boyfriend."

"Dude, they're always together, he walks her to every class, and eats lunch with her all of the time, they even live together for cripes sake." Danielle argued.

"It's true," I said nodding smugly.

"Why doesn't he ever hang out with you guys? I mean, I see you and Danielle together all of the time, why doesn't he every come?"

"He's not the most social person you'll meet." I said in Edward's defense, "He keeps to himself mostly."

"Alright," Bodie said, noting the seriousness in my tone, "I can respect that, but it'd be cool to meet him someday, meet the person who won the heart of Bella Swan. Tell you what, are you guys going away for Spring Break?"

"No," I said glancing at Danielle.

"I am." Danielle smirked, I shot her a questioning look, "I'm going to Mexico!" She added.

"When were you going to mention that?" I asked.

"Yeah, seriously," Bodie asked, just as dumbfounded as me.

"I just got the tickets the other day, so I would have mentioned it this week."

"Anyways," Bodie said, looking back at me, "I'm not going anywhere either, but I am throwing a huge party the night spring break starts, and if you and your mysterious boyfriend aren't busy, you should come. "

"We have friends coming to stay with us."

"That's fine, bring them too, they'll be plenty of food and booze, probably more than I need, so the more the merrier. Come on Bella, you never go to any parties, it'll be fun."

"I'll mention it to Edward and see if he wants to go, but if not, I'm sure my friend Angela would come."

"Awesome, I'll email you the date and time. Are you sure you can't make it Danielle?"

"By the time your party is underway I will be sitting in a lounge chair sipping a margarita and reading Lord of the Rings." She said with a satisfied smile.

"Alright, maybe we can do something before then." He said, looking a little disappointed.

"You know where to find me," Danielle said casually.

He got up from the bed and sighed, "Okay, I'll leave you guys to your movie and your naked pillow fights." He said shrugging his shoulders and hurrying to the door.

"You're an ass." Danielle grumbled as he shut the door behind him. She locked it behind him and turned back to me.

"Please don't make me go to this party without you." I pleaded with a begging gesture.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry, I've got plane tickets. Besides, Edward will go with you right?"

"That's highly doubtful," I said, disappointed.

"What's he doing tonight?" She asked, reaching into her mini fridge and handing me a beer.

"He was going to stay home, I had to basically beg him to go out and do something fun." I explained, twisting the cap off.

"So what? He's not into it, that's okay." She shrugged.

"I know, but it just makes me sad, thinking about him alone in that house."

"Bella, if that's what makes him happy, then who cares? He doesn't care if you go out does he?"

"No of course not, he encourages it," I moped.

"Then just let him be, he's a grown man, he can make decisions for himself. Some of us are just, loners, we only need a few people who love us and a sense of who we are to make us happy."

"I suppose that's true." I agreed, knowing that I fell into that category with him.

We finished watching the movie, forgetting how terrifying it was until it was too late. Once it was over, I begged Danielle to escort me to the bathroom, because there was a light out in the hallway. When we got back to her room we got out a deck of cards and played rummy 500 until all hours of the night, just talking and drinking the dwindling twelve pack that she had somehow managed to purchase for us. I assumed that Bodie Ross had something to do with it.

Sometime around midnight I found myself staring at her skeptically, narrowing my eyes at her in deep thought. I played my last run, and then boldly asked, "So Danielle, what's going on with you and Bodie?"

She nearly choked on her beer, spilling it, "What do you mean?" She asked using a napkin to wipe up her shirt.

"I don't know, he seems to spend a lot of time hanging around you, but you two aren't a couple, how do you know him?" I asked, putting my cards down and placing my chin neatly in my palm.

"Oh, at the beginning of freshman year, he moved in onto the floor as a part time RA. He knows everyone."

"But of all the freshman girls, he seems to take a particular interest in you." I hypothesized.

"No he doesn't, he's like that with everyone. Besides, we're just friends, if we're even that. More like friendly acquaintances."

I was still very suspicious, he wasn't that friendly with everyone, he seemed to like Danielle a lot; maybe he had a little crush on her. Who could know?

"Besides, he's not my type. He's a womanizer, and I'm sure I'm certainly not his type."

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"You should see the endless parade of girls he brings up here. He dates these women, brings him up to the dorm so they feel all safe and secure, him being an RA and all, and then, if their first date goes well, he brings them up to the house the following weekend. He's kind of gross, it all seems very methodical." She explained.

I thought about that for a moment, my head wasn't exactly clear at this moment in time but those few sentences had piqued my interest and I would file them away for now. "What kind of girls does he like?" I asked.

"Your type actually."

An icy chill ran through me when she said that, "what do you mean my type?" I didn't even realize I had a type.

"Well, brainy, quiet brunettes, usually underclassmen from out of state."

"Wait, are you calling me a nerd?" I slurred, "Because I'm actually very cool." I giggled a little at the sound of my own voice.

"No," Danielle chuckled, "I'm not calling you that, I know you're very cool, otherwise I wouldn't hang around with you." She teased, "No, you know what I mean, you're not like some of these uppity girls who strut around campus like it's a meat market. You go to class, you're responsible, you socialize with only a select few, you're quietly confident."

"I'm far from confident."

"I disagree. You seem to know what you want and determined to get it without causing a stink, you're…" she trailed off trying to think, "passively aggressive."

"I think you're mistaking being responsible with being confident."

"I disagree." She sang, taking a swig of her beer."Anyways those are the types of girls that Bodie likes. That's probably why he gave you such a hard time about Edward."

"Well, now it's official, Edward has to come to that party with me, just so I can rub it in Bodie's face." I said flipping my hair off my shoulder angrily.

"Passive aggressive," Danielle said under her breath.

"How do you know all of this about Bodie?" I asked, my suspicious mind working in overtime.

"I pay attention, and he also gets very talkative when he drinks."

I shouldn't have driven home, but I did. I should have called Edward as he had requested, but I didn't feel like coming home half in the bag and have him be as sober as a stone. I still had somewhat of an image to keep up around him. He struck me as a judgmental creature and I felt like I would disappoint him, as silly as that sounded. So, irresponsibly, I drove myself home after having six beers. It would have been seven, but I had spilled it while I was still at Danielle's. I trudged into the house as quietly as my wavering body would allow. I tried to avoid turning on the kitchen light, but realized that would be impossibility when I accidently kicked Topaz's dish over, spilling water everywhere.

"Dammit," I grumbled, clumsily clicking on the light. I half expected to see Edward sitting there waiting for me with a disapproving look on his face. I didn't know how I was coming up with this image of him. I grabbed a dishtowel off the counter and sopped up the water while Topaz watched curiously. "Why are you up?" I asked him, sounding ridiculous, "shouldn't you be in bed with…" my voice trailed off, Topaz cocked his head at me slightly. I looked back out into the garage, Edward's car was there, but for some reason I didn't think Edward was home.

I scanned the kitchen quickly in search of some kind of note. I was relieved when I found one. Tucked neatly beside the stove was a piece of paper with Edward's elegant, old world script that said, **gone out with some guys from class. Don't worry, they drove. Hallelujah social life. Love you, E. **I smiled to myself, I could practically hear the sarcasm in his voice as he wrote the note and I chuckled softly.

Once I had cleaned up the mess I made, I grabbed a juice box from the fridge and sipped it before going to bed. I stood in front of the fridge zoning out, it was one thirty already, I was exhausted. As I stared at the fridge, I noticed that Edward had been fooling around with the magnetic poetry letters I had gotten a couple of months ago. He had formed song lyrics to a Dave Matthews Band song out of all of the tiny letters.

_I was just wondering if you'd come along, hold up my head when my head won't hold on, I'll do the same if the same's what you want. _

I knew the song well and absentmindedly I finished my juice and grabbed the box of letters off the counter. This would take a minute or two, but it was already one thirty and way past my bedtime. I formed the letters into one of the verses of the song, placing them under the chorus that Edward had left.

_I need so, to stay in your arms, see you smile and hold you close._

A satisfied smile crossed my face as I admired my work and I shut off the light and went to bed. He hadn't come home yet and I was starting to worry a little now that it was pushing two a.m., I tried not to let it bother me and shut my eyes, letting sleep wash over me. I hadn't been sleeping too long when I heard footsteps, familiar ones, Edward was home. His footfalls were heavier than usual, he was tired, in the time I had known him, I was able to imprint every expression, phrase, and movement that was part of him into my brain and at this point I could pick him out of a crowd without having to see a thing. I knew the sound of his gait, his breathing, I knew his scent, and I could always predict the mood he was in.

I heard him enter the room and drop his keys, wallet, belt and shoes onto the floor and lumber into the bathroom. Even though it was nearly day break, he still had the presence of mind to change and brush his teeth, which was more than I could say for myself tonight. The light clicked off and he crawled into bed, groaning slightly, like something was sore. His hair smelt like a bar and he didn't bother to curl up next to me like he usually did. It was clear to me that he had been drinking and I knew that in a moment, he would be asleep, sure enough, within five minutes, I heard his breathing slow and felt him pull the covers over his head.

I had gotten up the next morning before Edward and put coffee on for the both of us, knowing that it would be needed. I sat at the island with a plate of toast beside me, reading a magazine, my leg swinging freely on the edge of my chair. Shortly after the coffee pot started gurgling, Edward entered, coming right over to me and kissing the top of my head.

"Morning love," he said hoarsely, grabbing his mug down from the cabinet.

"Morning," I said without looking up. "Did you have a good time last night?" The curiosity was killing me.

"Not really," he said sitting across from me.

"No?" I asked looking up at him for the first time. His eyes met mine and I nearly fell off my stool, "my God Edward what happened to you?!" It was an overreaction really; an overreaction that I think startled him. He had a shiner under his left eye and his bottom lip had a split going right up through the center of it.

"I had a slight altercation last night." He said casually, taking a sip of his coffee like he was giving me a weather report.

"An altercation? You look like you just got into a fight with a kangaroo!" I wasn't exactly sure where I came up with that comparison.

"That's not the worst of it I'm afraid." He explained getting off his stool. He lifted the hem of his shirt up slightly; his right side was blackened with bruises.

I gasped out loud, "Should you have that looked at?"

"No love, nothing's broken."

"This is preposterous. You got roughed up in some bar fight, Edward, you could have been killed."

"Oh I don't think so." He said with a smirk, as if he couldn't resist, "you should see what the other guy looks like."

I had to admit that I didn't condone this behavior, but something about the way he made his last statement gave me Goosebumps and sent my heart racing, I smirked back at him, "Really?"

"Oh yeah," he said nodding with a wide grin.

"You didn't hurt anyone did you? As in, like permanently damage them or put them in the hospital right?"

"No, of course not. He might need a few stitches, strictly outpatient though," he scoffed.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing significant, I got into a fight, let's leave it at that. I had a bet with someone that, well, never mind, it's not important."

I knew he wanted to tell me, I knew he was itching to tell someone. He wanted to regale in stories of how he had beaten some kind of adversary, he was excited, I could see it in his tired green eyes, but being who he was, he would think that boasting was inappropriate and beneath him. Therefore, I would never get to hear his version of the story, to him, it would ruin the image that he put across to me. I understood perfectly, and didn't press the issue; all I did was smile mischievously at him and said, "You should probably put something on that eye."


	34. Chapter 34 You're my Emmett

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 34**

**You're my Emmett**

It was Sunday and I had felt like I had been on the phone all day between Angela and Alice and Jasper, flight arrangements, pick up times, but by Sunday afternoon, it seemed liked everything was in place. Jasper and Alice would be flying out the day Edward and I finished classes before Spring break. Angela would be flying in by herself the day after that, which was a Friday. Jasper and Alice were planning on staying for a week and Angela was going to stay for five days. That would give me plenty of time to speak to Alice and possibly Jasper in private about the goings on at school and also allow me to spend some time alone with Edward for a few days before classes started up again. The bulk of my time would be spent with Angela though, seeing as she was my guest. Whew. I sighed as I collapsed onto the couch.

I was excited to be seeing everyone in three weeks, but before they came I had tons of schoolwork to do that would undoubtedly keep me very busy up until the last moment before they arrived. I looked over at the clock, it was close to three, Edward had gone to the gym and I was alone. I decided to indulge myself with a nap. I grabbed the fleece blanket off the back of a nearby chair and as if on cue, Topaz appeared on the arm of couch chirping eagerly at the prospect of taking a nap with me. I tucked myself in and lay down and he curled into a ball on my chest, purring until we both fell asleep.

The room was dark when I woke up aside from a dimly lit desk lamp in the little reading corner of the living room. Again, I looked over at the clock, it was now five o'clock. Topaz had disappeared, probably long ago, and I slowly sat up and stretched my back. Everything was eerily quiet; I assumed Edward had gotten home at some point because I hadn't put that lamp on. I groggily went up to the bathroom to wash my face and saw that the hallway light was on. I could hear very faint music at the end of the hallway, and I figured Edward was in his music room. The entire upstairs smelled sweetly of steam and soap, when I entered the bathroom the walls were still dewy with the aftermath of Edward's post-workout shower. No other trace remained of it however. The towels were all neatly folded, the shower floor rinsed off, his razor was tucked away in a drawer, all of his dirty clothes nestled hygienically in the hamper; he really was the world's cleanest guy. I smirked as I dried my face off and tip toed down the hallway towards his room.

I could hear more clearly now that I was closer. The music was coming from him; he was strumming on his guitar and singing to himself very quietly the words to the song he was playing. I felt like every time I found him like this, it was some kind of intrusion on my part. It probably wasn't to him, but I always felt like I was invading his privacy. I know that back in Forks he spent a lot of time playing music, and I was sure that the rest of his family weren't nearly as considerate as I was to his need for space so I didn't know what I was so paranoid over. I just knew I wouldn't want someone hanging around me every time I tried to do something creative. I stopped in my tracks in the hallway and turned to go back downstairs, and one of the wide pine floorboards groaned under my stocking feet. He stopped playing.

"Shoot," I grumbled to myself.

I heard shifting and footsteps in the music room. Edward appeared in the doorway and smiled crookedly when he saw me, crossing his arms in front of him.

I must have looked like an idiot; the stance I held was an exaggerated, mid-sneak movement, resembling something that you would see in a cartoon or an episode of the Pink Panther.

"Why are you standing like that?" His smooth, thick voice asked behind me.

I looked behind me at him and said sheepishly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I thought you were listening to a CD and I was going to come and say hi, I didn't know you were, playing. You probably want your privacy." I said continuing toward the staircase.

"Not particularly," he said behind me raising an eyebrow. He really was stunning.

There wasn't much else in life I enjoyed more than watching Edward do anything with music, except maybe watching Edward work out. I almost had to nail down my feet to prevent me from running down the hall, sitting down and demanding a personal concert from him. My plan was to legitimately refuse casually and leave him to his music, but before my brain could get that message to my vocal chords, I heard myself squeak out in a small voice, "really?"

He chuckled softly and averted his eyes to the floor shyly, "really, I was just finishing up something. You can come join if you like." He invited.

"No. It's alright, I'm going to go start supper." I refused, thumbing toward the staircase.

"Suit yourself." He said casually and went back into the room.

I stood like a statue in the hallway for a moment, and then heard him start up where he had left off, his voice still very quiet. His voice was so gentle and calm, but husky and sharp at the same time. I was drawn to it, even though I could barely hear it. I walked away from the stairs and into the room, sneaking by him, so as not to disturb. I saw him smirk a little as he saw me enter. His eyes flashed to my face for a split second and then back to what he was doing. I settled quietly onto the couch and lay on my side, folding my hands under my cheek and listened, shutting my eyes.

"There now, steady love, so few come and don't go, will you won't you be the one I always know. When I'm losing my control, the city spins around, you're the only one who knows, you slow it down.

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, be my baby, oh oh oh oh, I'll look after you.

If ever there was a doubt, my love she leans into to me this most assuredly counts, she says most assuredly, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, I'll look after you."

He strummed more intensely on his guitar, and made no notice of me, like he was in his own little world and continued.

"It's always have and never hold, you've begun to feel like home. What's mine is yours to leave or take, what's mine is yours to make your own. Oh oh oh oh oh oh, be my baby, oh oh oh…"

It was like our theme song. If it hadn't been a giant number one hit in 2007, I would have thought Edward had written it himself, rather than The Fray. I was moved, and the best part was that he hadn't even been playing it for me; he was just playing it just because. Maybe he thought it had theme song like qualities as well.

"So, what's for dinner?" He asked, turning to me and ruining my fluffy moment.

"Oh, umm, I was thinking about shepherd's pie. Is that alright?"

"Sounds perfect, I don't think I've had that yet."

I was convinced that because Edward was becoming such a 'foodie' he had a list of things he wanted to try going in his head. It was just a hunch though. Someday I would ask him if I was right.

"It's good, you'll like it." I confirmed.

"Does it take long to prepare?" He asked.

"No why?"

"Would you feel like taking a ride with me after we eat?"

"Sure." I said shrugging my shoulders, "where are we going?"

"You'll see."

I had expected something, more, actually, I didn't know what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect to be parked outside of our school on a Sunday night. It was bad enough I had to be there five days a week, let alone weekends too.

"Why are we here?" I asked, confused.

"We've got to get some blood." He replied casually, getting out of his Volvo.

I looked a little closer to what part of the college we were at; the infirmary. Infirmary sounded so much more threatening than nurses' office, which is really what it was. Infirmary sounded too similar to asylum to me.

I couldn't resist lightening the moment, "are you regressing to your former self?" I asked in reference to his blood comment.

"You know, you really are hilarious. I think I've told you that before." He said sarcastically. "No. we're not getting blood _for_ me, we're getting blood _from_ me."

It had been less than a week since we discovered Edward's unusual talent and I had forgotten that he was supposed to send Carlisle a blood sample to run tests on. "How are we going to do that?" I asked, "The infirmary is closed this time of night."

Edward gave me a look as if the answer were very obvious.

"What? No, we're not breaking in." A wide grin slowly crossed his face. I looked at him, incredulous, "No. I'm not helping you." I said backing away from him and putting my hands in front of me. He stepped toward me, his grin getting larger by the second. "No, absolutely not…" I tried to fight him off.

"Bella…" he purred at me, taking my hands in his.

"No, come on Edward, seriously?"

He pulled me close to his chest and in his most persuasive, irresistible tone, murmured lowly "Bella, please?"

I sighed in frustration. He got even closer to me and said wetly in my ear "I can make it worth your while."

I sighed again and relented to his demands. "Fine, what do you need me to do?"

He pulled away from me and was suddenly composed and very serious, no longer relying on his darkest charms to persuade me now that I had agreed. "I need you to just stand by that window, right there and wait for me." He said pointing around the corner of the building.

"That's it, you're making me the lookout?" I asked, uninterested, glancing at my partially chipped painted nails.

"It's a very important part of the whole operation."

"Okay."

He walked me over to my spot, not saying a word. It was nearly pitch black outside with the exception of a flickering flood light and the night was thick and soundless all around us.

"So, do you, uh, do this stuff a lot? The breaking and entering I mean?" I asked following him to the window, trying to keep up with his long strides.

"On occasion," he replied, "I usually have Emmett with me though. I guess you could say that you're my Emmett." Because of the inky darkness around us I could barely see Edward's face, but when the moon hit his face for a split second, I saw him smile warmly at me.

It was no secret, of everyone in his family, Emmett was Edward's best friend, if vampires qualified into those types of categories. When he made that comment I realized that I was no longer just his spouse, I was his friend too. We were companions, and we were equal. During this short time in which Edward had been human, I had grown even closer to him, but in a different way. We were buddies, we always put each other on a pedestal, but now, we had an edge to us. An edge that allowed us to joke around with each other like we hadn't before, we could compete with one another, we could hang out, have all the causalities of a friendship with all the meaning of a spousal relationship, we had matured. Things weren't as grave and serious and as tragic as they once were. Edward had become my best friend and I had become his.

"Thanks." I replied, "You're my Emmett too." I reached over and touched his hand and he took mine in return.

"Okay, stay here, I'll be right back." He ordered.

"What if someone comes?"

"If anything seems suspicious, hide. I'll come and find you."

"Okay." I agreed. He kissed my cheek and jogged off around to the back of the building. I stood out there for about five minutes, ten at most. It felt like an eternity and I was freezing. I looked down at the thin fabric of my corduroy coat and wished I had worn my North Face coat instead. I shoved my hands in my pockets regretting leaving my mittens on the kitchen counter. Honestly, I lived in Alaska; you would think I would be more logical in my clothing choices, especially in the middle of winter.

I heard a grinding sound directly behind me and cried out loud, my voice echoing throughout the empty campus. An owl hooted in response.

"Bella," Edward hissed behind me. I turned, the grinding sound had been the window opening, "come on," he reached his arms out of the window and helped drag me into the exam room.

"How did you do that so fast?" I asked, still shaken slightly.

"I have my ways." He said as he shut the window.

He didn't turn on an overhead light, but rather a floor lamp, and that was only after he drew all of the shades in the room. I looked around me, taking off my coat and throwing it on top of Edward's lying on a chair.

It looked like a standard exam room; the counter was fairly clutter free with the exception of jars of cotton and bottles of alcohol. There were locks on everything and in the corner sat a padded exam table, complete with arm rests and fold out stirrups. I shuddered as I remembered I needed to make a doctor's appointment for an annual soon.

"Gross." I said, still staring at the stirrups.

"From what I hear, men have to endure some pretty obscene things as well as they grow older." He said in response.

"Nothing is obscene as that." I explained pointing to the chair.

Edward was doing something with one of the locked drawers when suddenly I heard a popping noise. Within moments, he had the drawer open and was pulling out a tourniquet, a vacutainer, and several different blood tubes with various anticoagulants inside of them. He was very good at breaking and entering.

He hopped up onto the exam table and rolled up the sleeve of his sweater. He tied the tourniquet snugly over his bicep, pulling it with his teeth to tighten it further. He pulled the cap off the vacutainer with his mouth and dabbed a vein with alcohol. He tightened his fist to stabilize the vein and was about to make his stick when he noticed me staring at him with a sickened look on my face.

"Are you going to be alright if I do this?" He asked gently.

"Of course," I answered shakily.

"Can you come closer?" It was more of a request than a question.

"Sure." I took one step forward hesitantly.

"Closer please." I reluctantly stood by his side. "When I ask you, I need you to hand me those tubes as they fill up. Can you do that?" I knew he wasn't trying to be condescending; he knew that the sight of blood made me faint. He was trying to be considerate.

"I'm fine, really."

"Do you want to try?" He asked brightly holding the vacutainer out to me.

"I'm not fine enough to do that! But I can hand you tubes."

He nodded and stuck himself with the needle and blood immediately started to flow from his pulsing arm. As each tube filled, I would hand him another and with skilled hands, he would connect it to the end of the vacutainer. He took a total of six vials of blood, snapping off the tourniquet when the collection was finished. I handed him a cotton ball with a piece of tape and gathered up the vials. As I held them in my hands, I noticed that they were still warm. I wondered if he were still a vampire, if his blood would be cold. I stared curiously at the tubes and swirled the blood slowly around under the dim light. It amazed me that one substance could be so essential in so many ways.

The paper made an irritating crinkling sound as he got down off of the table and took our coats and went into the office area of the infirmary. The office was larger than the exam room, equipped with a desk and a wall of filing cabinets for student records. There was also a mini fridge that Edward pulled an ice pack out of. He packaged up the blood and was done. Again, the only light in the room was a dimly lit desk lamp, I perched myself up on the desk next to it.

"Thank you for helping me," Edward said sauntering over to me and facing me.

"I didn't do much."

"I know, I just like you being here with me." He said shyly, playing with the zipper of my sweatshirt.

I playfully hooked my feet behind his calves, pulling him closer to me. "You said you would make this worth my while." I said very seriously to him. "When can I expect payment?"

"Well that depends, would you like it in increments or one lump sum?" He said snaking his arms into my sweatshirt and resting his hands on my waist.

"A lump sum would be ideal," I answered coyly, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It might take me a little longer to come up with that then." He breathed, running his lips over my jaw. "I am, after all, a penniless college student." He slowly dragged his bottom lip along my neck and kissed my collarbone.

"I'm sure we could come up with some kind of arrangement." I whispered, running my hand down his chest and tucking my fingertips into the hem of his jeans so I could feel the blade of his hip.

Edward moved his hands up my sides and spread his fingers to the point where he had almost my entire upper rib cage in his possession. His lips covered mine and I slowly kissed him back, licking the roof of his mouth sensuously. He pulled me closer against him to the point I felt like he would crush me, when suddenly, I saw headlights reflect off the back wall.

He pulled away from me instinctively and I saw panic cross his face. He yanked me off the table and looked around the office frantically. There was a large loveseat against the back wall and he quickly pushed it away from the wall slightly and we squatted down behind it and waited.

Sure enough, there was a distinct sound of keys turning in a door knob and someone entering the room. The person snapped on the overhead light and I became anxious, wondering if Edward had shut off the desk lamp. The footsteps were coming toward us and then turned; I heard a file cabinet drawer open and the intruder let out an exasperated sigh. The drawer shut again and the visitor was now pulling the chair out from the desk and turning on the computer. I hoped we wouldn't have to stay here all night. There was a sound of fingers typing and then scratching on paper. He was writing something. The intruder stayed for about fifteen minutes and then I heard him rise from the desk and replace the file in the drawer. I heard the footsteps walk toward the door again, shut off the light, and close the door, locking it behind them. I waited until the footsteps grew fainter, and then finally I saw the headlights turn on and depart.

I popped up from behind the couch with Edward and he went over to the computer and started typing something.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to find out who the last person to use the computer was and what they were looking up." He typed in numerous codes, each with no avail. I could see frustration mounting in him, when I interceded. In a few moments, I had pulled up the most recent activity.

User Name: GScott

Password"******

An internet browser website came up and I clicked under the history icon. A typographic map of Forks, Washington came up, followed by an informational page posted by the historical society regarding the Olympic Peninsula, specifically the town of Forks.

"Who's G Scott and why are they looking up Forks?" I asked confused.

"Gordon Scott," Edward said sternly, hovering over my shoulder.

"Who's Gordon Scott?" I asked.

"My Culinary Arts teacher," he replied solemnly.

Edward strode angrily back to the car, walking so quickly I had to jog to keep up with him. He opened the passenger door and slammed it behind me. He sat in the driver seat and gripped the wheel so tightly that all of the color drained out of his hands. He breathed deeply and for a second I thought he was counting to himself.

"Edward," I said quietly.

"What?" he snapped at me in a voice I could barely recognize. "What are you going to tell me Bella? That this is nothing? That it's probably a coincidence? That I shouldn't be worried? Who the hell else is from Forks besides you and me? Who the hell has even heard of Forks?!" He was shouting at me now and flailing his arms everywhere.

It was my turn to count to myself. I was infuriated, I wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking to me in that tone, let alone the person I loved and respected the most in this world. I certainly wasn't going to let Edward Cullen have one of his tantrums in my presence.

"If you continue to use that tone with me, so help me Edward I will get out of this car and walk home." I said between gritted teeth as I glared at him.

He narrowed his eyes at me in protest, and I held my gaze with him as I quickly put my hand on the door handle. He hit the lock button and then he locked the locks with the child safety button on his side of the car. Damn German engineering.

"I'm sorry," he said cautiously as he clenched his jaw in frustration.

"Fine." I said sitting back in my seat and rubbing my forehead.

"Bella, either way you and I may be in some kind of danger. You can't argue with me that this isn't more than mildly upsetting."

"It's no more upsetting than when we've run into trouble in the past." I said trying to maintain presence of mind for the two of us.

"Things are a little different now. I can't protect us the way I could before."

"We have powerful allies." I said with confidence. "And besides, there's two of us and one of him."

"What are you talking about?" He asked rubbing his temples to soothe himself.

"We're equals now, you and I. I can help."

"Bella, don't think for a minute that I'm going to let you…" I held my hand up to silence him.

"I've done a lot of thinking since all of these changes have occurred. I am no longer going to stand idly by while you run around like some kind of knight in shining armor trying to protect me from every little conflict that comes my way. This is not your fault, nothing in the past ever was, we are partners and we have to face our adversaries together, whatever they may be. I'm not some kind of damsel in distress and I don't want to be treated as such." I was impressed with the lucidity of my improvisational speech. Maybe I should have been a communications major instead. I flipped my hand over and offered my open palm to him as a gesture of peace and understanding.

He reached over and took my hand in both of his and rested it on his thigh. "Bella, if anything ever happened to you…" He started.

"If anything ever happened to you," I replied. He couldn't argue with me any longer because he knew I was right. He was just as breakable as I was. We both now had an obsessive need to protect one another.

"And just so you know," he continued, "I've always considered you to be my equal."

We drove home in silence, neither one of us could predict or explain what was happening around us. Neither one of us had a plan or a next move. We didn't discuss it at all. We just went home and went to bed, grateful for the time we had together.


	35. Chapter 35 Release

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 35**

**Release**

I was so done with school at this point in the year. I was ready for the spring to come and then the summer, where my responsibilities would be cut in half and I could finally uncurl the tight knot that sat like a weight in my stomach. But, that wasn't going to happen for a few more months and a week off for Spring break would just have to get me through for now.

I walked over to the Culinary Arts building to meet Edward when my last class had finished. I found him in the prep area of the kitchen meticulously sorting his knives and putting them away neatly at his workstation. He still had his jacket on, most of the other students wore black work pants to finish off the look even though it wasn't required. Edward however, chose to forego workpants and wore jeans and black converse sneakers instead. I lingered in the doorway watching him clean up and he took no notice of me, he was just in his own little serious, solemn world. When he was satisfied with the organization of his workstation, he looked up and finally saw me patiently watching him. His serious expression immediately changed and his pretty green eyes lit up.

"Bella," he chirped, sounding pleasantly surprised.

I gave him a shy little wave and a smile and he motioned for me to come in. I walked over to him and kissed the side of his clean shaven face. "So this is it huh?" I asked looking around.

He nodded and smiled, averting his eyes to the floor slightly. He looked more tired than I had seen him in awhile. I knew he wasn't sleeping very well these days, he never made mention or complained about it. He had dark circles under his eyes that looked like bruises, bruises that I hadn't seen on his face since before Christmas. I reached up and touched his face, tracing the bags under his eyes with my thumb. "You need to get some sleep," I said quietly.

He shrugged it off casually and made some kind of lame joke, running the back of his hand along my cheek. His eyes flickered behind me and I knew someone had just walked in.

"Edward, are you planning on spending your entire vacation here?" A man's voice said behind me. A fearful look appeared on Edward's face, which was quickly cancelled out by a look of irritation.

"No, sir, I was just leaving." He said pulling off his jacket, "come on Bella." He said quietly to me as he grabbed the rest of his things.

As we turned to walk out the door, the man came over closer to Edward. He stood protectively in front of me out of habit, the man cocked his head and smiled at us, "I'm Gordon Scott." He said in a very congenial tone, thrusting his hand out to shake mine.

I felt Edward's free arm curl around my waist tensely, I looked at the outstretched hand before me and offered up my most polite smile, "I'm Bella." I said shaking his hand.

"Pleased to meet you." He replied, his smile growing. "I would say that Edward talks about you all the time, but Edward doesn't talk much at all." He gave Edward a teasing side glance, Edward remained unmoved. "He's really an excellent student. He's going to be a fine Chef someday." He said happily, clapping Edward on the back.

"Thank you Chef." He said politely.

"Well, Bella, it was very nice to meet you. Even though he may not say much, I'm sure Edward thinks about you all the time." I grew irritated by the fact that some stranger felt as if he needed to reassure me about my relationship with my boyfriend.

I felt the need to say something defiant and rude; I felt flames rising in the back of my throat as I chose my poisonous words carefully. "We should all be so lucky to have someone in our life like that." I gazed over at Edward adoringly, and then shot a smirk in Gordon's direction, "tell me Chef Scott, do you have someone who thinks about you all of the time?"

I felt Edward's grip tighten on me. Chef Scott smiled calmly at me and chuckled a little, "Oh that ship sailed for me many years ago." I gave him an overly exaggerated expression of sympathy.

"Better luck next time perhaps." Edward added darkly.

"One can only hope. Anyways, you two have a restful break, again, very nice to meet you Bella. Edward, good work today." Edward nodded politely and we left together.

We were halfway down the hallway when I saw the look on Edward's face expanding and turning into one of pure, evil, delight. He looked like he was trying to hold back from bursting into hysterics. It was one of my favorite expressions on him, the one that came before the flood of laughter that would echo throughout the entire building once he let loose.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said hoarsely, shaking his head and putting his sunglasses on.

"What?" I said nudging him hard, causing him to stumble a little.

"You're getting quite bold in your old age Miss Swan." He teased. A look of satisfaction crossed my face.

"I have a killer instinct."

"Apparently. I'm glad you don't carry a handgun. We'd have at least four bodies to get rid of by now, including my own." He chuckled.

"I'm not that bad am I?" I asked, suddenly feeling self conscious about my attitude. I instinctively held my books closer to my chest as we approached the car.

He laughed again, opening the passenger side for me, "No love," I climbed in and he leaned against the door and smirked at me, "you're perfect."

We got home and simultaneously threw our books and coats down and collapsed on the couch. I was glad we would be leaving to pick up Alice and Jasper in a few hours; we were becoming too similar to one another.

Edward turned and looked at me and smiled crookedly, "so, we have a few hours alone, what do you want to do?" He asked toying with the zipper on my sweatshirt.

I smiled coyly at him in response, he leaned in to kiss me, and then his eyes shut tightly and I saw him clench his jaw. "UGH." He growled, rolling his eyes.

"What?"

"They're already here."

Within a split second I felt cool, thin arms around me and full lips on my cheek.

"Alice!" I squealed, spinning around and throwing my arms around her.

"Hi Bella!" She squeaked, squeezing me so tightly that she almost broke one of my ribs. Jasper now stood behind the couch smiling at both of us. Edward got up and hopped over the back of the couch and hugged Jasper.

"Glad you could make it, even if you are three hours early." He said firmly looking Alice's way, knowing that she was responsible.

She frowned and flicked her hands at him, "Oh, relax, you two weren't going to do anything anyways." She winked at Jasper.

"We actually got here late this morning, we went and spent time with Tanya and Eleazar, and then they dropped us off. We only arrived here at this house a few minutes before you both got home." Jasper explained.

"I'm so glad you're both here." I said happily, snuggling into Alice. I shivered a little against her cold little body; I had grown so accustomed to the new warmth of Edward that I was no longer used to the glacial body temperature of the Cullens. It was so familiar though that I didn't mind, and then I looked at Alice's face and saw Edward's golden eyes staring back at me for a moment. I smiled warmly and hugged her once more, glad to be around some of family again.

"You both look exhausted." Jasper noted, as he studied us carefully.

"Exams were a bitch." Edward muttered, stretching his back. Jasper smirked at the comment.

"Oh my God, yeah they were." I said in agreement. "I am so glad to be off for a little while."

"Is there anything that you two want to do? Or would you rather just stay here?" Alice asked both of us, her eyes darting back and forth.

I was actually very tired, but I felt the urge to go out and do something simply because we didn't have any school tomorrow. I wondered if Edward felt the same way. If I was the only one who wanted to go out, then I didn't mind staying home, but if I wasn't…I looked up and Edward and he shot a glance back at me, and somehow we were both in agreement.

"Pub," we both said at the same time.

"I'll buy." Alice said smiling.

"I'll drive." Jasper added.

Within a half hour, the cat was fed, our clothes were changed and we were arming the house behind us, our tires practically leaving skid marks in the driveway.

We went to a local hangout near campus; it had two bars, tables, pool, darts and usually a DJ or a band on most nights. Edward and I never spent a lot of time going to parties or bars, but every so often, we needed a release and tonight was going to be one of those nights. We had both mastered the art of the tequila shot, and that was usually how a night out would start and end for us. Alice brought her digital camera and was ready for anything. By the end of the night, she had gotten some very candid shots of all of us goofing around. My favorite picture was one of Edward dipping me backward, and squeezing a lime in his teeth over my arched neck. I had no idea when it was taken, but it was silly and irresponsible and I loved it. Too much time had been spent between Edward and I being vigilant and serious. Caring for a home, going to classes, paying bills, dealing with the complexities of our transitioning relationship, we had both had enough. It was time for us to start acting our age and embrace the recklessness of being two college students living away from home.

It was midway through the night, when Jasper and Alice looked like they were starting to get antsy, I wondered if they were bored. They shared a glance with one another that was silent, but clearly communication was occurring between them. I saw Edward smirk to himself and say out loud, "go ahead," waving his hand dismissively at them. Within seconds, they were gone, leaving us alone.

"Where'd they go?" I asked.

"They're going to play for awhile," he replied.

"Play what?" I asked, taking a sip of my beer.

"Watch," he said gesturing at the two of them.

It was almost as if it were a perfectly planned act in a play or a movie. Alice sat down at a table by herself and feigned innocence, her sharp black bangs hung in her eyes and she pursed her lips slightly. Meanwhile, Jasper made his way around the bar, he appeared to be looking for something, and then a look of affirmation crossed his young, beautiful face as he chose his 'victims.' He glided over to a group of guys sitting a few tables away from us and started speaking to them. I could barely hear what he was saying, but when I saw a gleam of amusement cross Edward's face I knew that something was up.

"You might have to get involved in this." He whispered to me.

"What?" I asked, slightly alarmed,

"Oh, yeah, you're definitely involved in this," he started snickering, horror washed over my pale face. "Quick, look angry."

"What?!" I hissed as Jasper started coming toward me with three huge guys.

"Angry, look angry," Edward muttered into his beer.

I slammed my beer down and crossed my arms over my chest and scowled at Jasper.

"Okay, I brought witnesses," Jasper said to Edward letting his southern drawl coat his words slightly. Jasper gestured to the three guys behind him that seemed more than willing to go along with whatever he was up to. "This is Alec, Brian, and Matt," the three all made some kind of polite greeting gesture. I concentrated on looking furious and tried to keep up with what was going on.

"Awesome," Edward replied, standing up. His tone had changed into something I couldn't recognize. Gone was the smooth, articulate resonance that was distinctive of Edward. I had never heard him use the word 'awesome' before, it was so…common. "So guys, this is the girlfriend," his speech was very choppy and lazy as he gestured to me and I scowled harder, "and that's the sister." He pointed at Alice, who was still sitting alone. It was becoming clearer to me that this was some kind of performance the Cullens put on in public for their amusement and now I had become a part of it. "They get a little 'catty' sometimes when we go out, so I would really appreciate you guys helping us put an end to this," he said warmly.

"Dude, two girls arm wrestling, that's awesome. I can't wait to see this." One of the three 'witnesses' said.

"After you," Edward said crassly to me. I continued my performance as I narrowed my eyes at him, standing begrudgingly and strutted over to Alice.

I heard the witnesses behind me, "My money's on her, she looks pissed."

"No, I think the one with the black hair's got this one, silent but deadly."

I sat across from Alice and she smiled darkly at me. I wish I could hear thoughts like the others could, it would have been easier than guessing what was going to happen.

"No rings." Jasper instructed. Alice removed the three sterling silver rings that decorated her hand and gave them to Jasper. I took the one ring I had on off and handed it to Edward.

"Non wrestling arm needs to come off the table." Edward ordered, putting my arm gently to my side. Alice gripped the side of her chair and I did the same. The three guys leaned back against the wall and watched carefully.

I gripped Alice's freezing hand in my own and glared at her, her golden eyes felt like they were going to bore a hole through my forehead.

"May the best girl win," Alice sneered at me.

"Don't worry, I will." I retorted, smirking at her.

I caught a glimpse of Jasper turning his head away from us to prevent him from laughing out loud; Edward gave him a similar look and averted his eyes to the floor.

"Ready? Go!" Jasper said with a little bit of twang to his voice.

I pushed against Alice as hard as I could, there was no way I would win and I knew this. Alice controlled the whole situation, she would let her hand waiver for a moment and then overtake me and then waiver, just to make it interesting, and then to my surprise, she let me win.

"Hah!" I shouted jumping up from the table.

"Thank God that's over," Edward grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Dude! I knew she would win!" One of the witnesses said, that seemed to do the trick.

Alice hopped up from the table and gave an accusatory look to my supporter, "why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I'm just getting warmed up."

"Alice come on, get over it, you lost." Edward chided her.

Alice slammed a twenty on the table and stared at the witness, "it's yours if I lose." He shrugged his shoulders and sat down across from her. They got set up and wrestled, Alice lost again. "Double or nothing," she said throwing another twenty down.

"Alice, be reasonable," Jasper cautioned, "you guys want a beer?" He asked the three guys who still lingered. He took off and came back with a round.

The guy who just won twenty off of Alice stared at her; she had made his victory very easy for him. Poor, starving college students would do practically anything for extra cash. He reluctantly put the twenty he had just won back down, "okay, double or nothing," he said.

Alice raised an eyebrow and smiled; she wrestled him and won in seconds. A satisfied look crossed Jasper's face. The other two guys were astounded, one by one, each of them challenged her and one by one, they lost. By the end of the night, Alice had arm wrestled practically every man in the bar. She had become a novelty, a challenge, and then, a legend. Once the wheels were set in motion, Jasper started hustling pool, until I beat him and then he lost interest. Edward watched the whole thing happening around him, only playing his role when required. That night, the three Cullens ended up walking out of the bar with an additional five hundred dollars in their pocket.

You would have thought that this would have caused a problem in the bar, but with the talents of Jasper's ability to charm a crowd, Edward's ability to read thoughts, and Alice's premonitions, everything went over without incident. There was a feeling of levity and good times throughout the entire bar that night. I wondered if it was Jasper's doing or if it was just the fact that Spring break had arrived that kept everyone mellow. It didn't matter; we were all having a good time, non vampires and vampires included.

We calmly exited the bar around one and all climbed into the Cadillac together. As soon as the door shut, Alice squealed with delight and threw her arms around me.

"You were fantastic! That was perfect!" I laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Do you guys, do this a lot?" I asked. Silence rang throughout the car.

"On occasion," Jasper answered. Alice couldn't stop grinning and laughing.

"You're terrible." I said grinning, "All three of you, using all of your powers to hustle people. It's so unfair."

"All in good fun, love," Edward defended.

"I know you got a cut of that money." I said seriously to him, "That could have been some poor college student's food money."

"Or their beer money," he replied. "Now it's our beer money," he said coolly, handing me a hundred dollar bill. "Here's your cut."

"That's more like it." I said taking it from him and shoving it in my pocket.

Alice giggled again, "You truly are a Cullen now." She said kissing my cheek.

"Without a doubt," Jasper added.


	36. Chapter 36 The Party

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 36**

**The Party**

The next day Angela arrived from the airport, I decided to go by myself to pick her up. I figured she might be more comfortable with that than if Edward, Jasper, Alice and I all went to get her.

Her flight arrived at noon and I stood waiting for her at the gate, my stomach growling the entire time. We would have to stop for lunch somewhere I said to myself, thinking about the hundred I had in my pocket. Her flight arrived right on time and within a few moments, I saw her heart shaped faced and pointed glasses coming around the corner. A happiness filled me that I thought would make me burst with joy as I waved my hands enthusiastically at her. When she saw me, her brown eyes lit up.

"Bella!" She cried, hurrying into arms, "I'm so glad to see you!"

"I'm so happy you decided to come! Two of Edward's siblings are here too, so he'll have something to do while you and I hang out."

"Really? That's awesome, which ones?" She asked.

"Jasper and Alice," I answered, helping her with her carry on.

"Oh good, they're our age right?"

"Yes, they were in our class, well, Alice was, Jasper's a year older." I explained easily.

"That'll be fun, we can all hang out." Angela said. She really looked wonderful. She was cheerful and confident, nothing like the Angela I had spoken to a few weeks ago who seemed so broken and lost. I wondered if she and Ben were working things out. I hoped so.

"So, do you feel like grabbing some lunch or did you want to go straight home?" I asked.

"I could eat. I'm actually starving."

"Okay, great, I know a place around the corner that has really good salads and stuff."

"Sounds perfect," she said.

We walked out to the car and I felt embarrassed to be driving the Cadillac, I should have taken Edward's car.

"Is this yours Bella?" She asked breathlessly.

"Um, it's Dr. Cullen's. He's letting us use it because it would have been too expensive for me to ship my truck out here." I explained nervously.

"What does Edward drive?"

"He still has the Volvo." A knot was growing in my throat, why couldn't I just live in a dorm and drive a shit box? I felt so out of place being surrounded by all of this expense that Edward draped himself in. The hundred in my pocket mocked me. Maybe I had a twenty on me to pay for lunch.

"That's cool. My parents actually sprung for a BMW for me for graduation. I guess all that hard work had to pay off somehow." She explained. I instantly felt a little better.

"So," I said helping her with the luggage, "what's new and exciting, tell me a story. You seem like you're in a better mood than last time I spoke to you."

"Well, kind of. I'm glad to be away from home and school for a little while, but also, right before I left my parent's house, Ben called me."

"Really?!" I asked, "Angela that's great, what did he say?"

"Not much, he said that he wanted to go out and talk when I got back. So that could either mean this is really the end, or he wants to work things out. I hope it's the latter of the choices."

"That's better than nothing." I said.

"Yeah, I feel a little bit better about things now. Whatever happens happens I guess." She said.

"I suppose that's really all that you can expect." I agreed. I wish my mind was as healthy as Angela's seemed to be when Edward and I had separated.

We had lunch and went to a few stores while we were out and then it started getting close to dinner time. We definitely had to get home. I took the familiar roads back to our house, by the time we got there, it was starting to get dark. The outside of the house was pleasantly lit up and when I pulled into the garage, Edward's car was there and I could smell food cooking. What a perfect thing to come home to, I thought to myself, Alice must have helped him out with the timing.

We entered the kitchen and Edward was hovering over the stove stirring spaghetti sauce, Alice and Jasper were by the island, cutting up vegetables for a salad. I went in before Angela and she followed shyly behind me.

"Hey guys," I said to the room, "you remember Angela Weber right?" My question was more directed to Alice and Jasper.

"Of course!" Alice said pleasantly, coming over and touching Angela's forearm, "how have you been?"

"Great, thanks," Angela said cheerfully enough. Jasper didn't say anything, but gave her a little wave and then went back to his cucumbers.

Edward was the most welcoming of all, mainly because he knew her better than the others. "Hello Angela," he said hurrying over to her and taking her bags like a perfect gentleman.

"Hey Edward, how's it going?"

"It goes." He said with a little smile, "please, come in, make yourself at home, I'll go put your bags away," he leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek, "hello love." He turned and started toward the living room, "Jazz, stir that sauce," he called behind him.

"I hope you like Italian. Edward was stressing all day over what to make for dinner. I think I went with him to like, five grocery stores." Alice said to Angela.

"Edward cooks?" Angela asked.

"Most of the time, he's a culinary major." I explained. "He probably made that sauce from scratch." I said gesturing at the pot on the stove and rolling my eyes.

"He's a bit of a perfectionist." Alice whispered.

Edward reentered the room and Angela smiled at him in reference to Alice's comment.

"What?" He asked innocently. The sauce made a popping sound. He flashed a look at Jasper, "Did you stir it?"

"Not yet." Jasper replied.

Edward sighed loudly and headed back over to his sauce. "Amateurs," he mumbled under his breath. Jasper whipped the end of a cucumber at him in response, hitting him square in the back of the head.

"Real nice," Edward grumbled touching the back of his head where he was hit, "very mature."

"Maybe we should go." I said taking Angela's arm and leading her and Alice out of the kitchen. "Behave," I growled at Edward as I passed him.

"That goes for you too." Alice instructed at Jasper as she followed.

It was nice having our friends around us. I was glad we didn't decide to go anywhere during break, this was so much more relaxing and fun. Most days, Angela and I would go off on our own while Jasper, Alice, and Edward would spend the day together. The five of us went hiking on one abnormally warm day together and at night we would usually eat together or go play pool or watch a movie.

Bodie's party was rescheduled for the middle of break and I had convinced Edward to go, but Jasper and Alice decided against it. By that point during their visit, they needed to hunt and that's what they were planning on doing that night. Angela's visit had been pretty tame, we didn't go out to bars or parties or anything, not that she really could, she was only nineteen. Not that I really could either, but I had my fake id, Angela didn't. Edward didn't really want to go, but he knew there would be alcohol and swarms of people, so I think he was just going to be overprotective. I was going out of curiosity, and Angela wanted to go because she hadn't been to a party in awhile.

Angela and I were just about ready to leave. I went into the bathroom to grab a bobby pin and saw Edward studying himself in the mirror and messing with his hair.

"Are you, are you 'doing' your hair?" I asked him incredulously.

He whipped his head around and looked at me as if he had just been caught in the middle of a shameful act. He smiled crookedly at me, his green eyes sparkling under the overhead light and said vainly, "Bella, please, this look doesn't just…happen."

"Yes it does," I teased him scrubbing his perfectly gelled hair around with my hand.

"Ready to go?" He asked, smoothing his flyaways with his hand.

"Yes sir." I said cheerfully.

He hit the bathroom light and put his arm around my waist and we headed downstairs, "I can't believe you messed up my hair." He whispered playfully in my ear. My only response was a light shove of him into the wall.

Bodie's party was being held at the house he rented that was pushed way back into the woods. I could only imagine how many parties had been thrown here by him and those who came before him. I could only imagine what kind of lewd acts had taken place on this very lawn as Edward dropped Angela and I at the doorstep and looked for a place to park. It was freezing outside tonight and I hoped it wouldn't take him long to park and meet us.

"So, whose house is this?" Angela asked.

"Bodie Ross. He's supposedly this huge catch on campus, but I think he's just a dork." I said dismissively.

"Well, Bella, look who you come home to every day." She teased. "Even the campus playboy's charm can't touch you. But then again, I don't know of many people whose charm could trump Edward's. People are still talking about the two of you back in Forks."

"Really? Who?" I asked, intrigued.

"Oh you know, Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Tyler, you're like the power couple of Forks."

I smiled to myself, the mysterious boy that everyone wanted with the girl from Phoenix, still together and raising eyebrows, I liked it.

"Well, I don't know, Bodie's record is pretty impressive, maybe there's just something wrong with me." I said flatly.

"Here comes Edward," she said. I turned and saw him walking up the path with his hands in his pockets. He really did demand such a presence with his height and face, he walked with confidence and ease and I could see why people were always so drawn to him.

He joined up with us and said, "I'm sorry, I had to park behind the house, it's packed out pretty tight out in the street."

"That's okay." I said. He smiled warmly and gestured for us to go, staying protectively close to both of us.

He had his hand around my waist, and as soon as we approached the house, I felt him tense up slightly. It seemed odd to me, but then I just figured it was nerves. I walked up the front steps and turned the doorknob, Edward's hand suddenly dropped off my waist, I turned to see if something was wrong and the door opened. A blond girl I recognized from one of my classes stood in front of me, "oh, hey Bella, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks. Where's Bodie?"

"He's around here somewhere. Bodie!" she called out looking around for him. I heard his familiar voice growing louder as he approached. "Come on in," she instructed sweetly. Angela and I entered, Edward abnormally close behind me. I turned to look at him, his eyes were darting around the room, and a look of frustration was in them. He was looking for someone, before I could ask him what was wrong, Bodie was in front of me.

"Bella! Hey, you made it!" He had a drink in his hand and looked slightly buzzed already.

"Bodie, this is my friend Angela, she's from Forks." Bodie reached out and shook Angela's hand; Edward's hand was on me again.

"Hi Angela," he said warmly.

"Hi," she said grinning; the spell of Bodie Ross was working on her. He held his gaze with her for several moments; he looked like a thirsty animal that had just found a pool of cool water in the desert.

"Bodie," I said, tapping his shoulder, he turned and faced me, still in a daze. "This is my boyfriend, Edward."

"Well, I'll be damned," he said, his focus immediately changed, "it's nice to finally meet you Edward." He reached out and shook Edward's hand roughly, and it looked like Edward was about to vomit. What was going on with him? I wondered, he was usually very skilled at pleasantries. He swallowed hard and regained his forbearance.

"I'm sorry we haven't met sooner, I'm not usually one for public appearances." He said with his most compelling smile.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it. Come on in, there's plenty of food and the bar's stocked. Which reminds me," Bodie said shaking his empty glass, "I need a refill." He smiled and winked in Angela's direction and then headed to the bar.

"What is the matter with you?" I whispered harshly in Edward's ear.

"Stay close to me tonight." He whispered back, he looked over at Angela who was watching Bodie disappear into the crowd. "Both of you," he added.

"Is something wrong?" I asked alarmed, "Should we go?" Edward was watching Bodie now as well.

"No." He said absently, taking off his pea coat and hanging it on the back of a chair, "let's stay for awhile."

I watched Edward carefully, something was very, very wrong; his warm face suddenly had an edge to it. His face was a mask of calm and ease, but his eyes showed something more, something fiery, he sucked in his cheeks slightly and suddenly looked like something very sinister. He suddenly looked like a vampire.

Angela, he and I sat on the couch and making his voice sound as sweet as syrup, he said to me, "I'll be right back." He smiled and kissed my forehead. It was an act and I knew it, his mind was somewhere else. Angela and I decided to get drinks.

"So, um, Bodie's kind of cute." Angela said quietly.

"Oh no, you're falling into his trap!" I said with exaggerated horror, putting my hands on my face. "Don't do it Angela! Don't go to the dark side."

"Oh will you stop!" She giggled. "All I said was he was cute."

"That's all I said about Edward Cullen, and look where that got me," I teased. Although somewhere in mind I didn't think that Bodie was the monogamous type as I watched him with growing distaste walking around flirting with everyone. "Ugh!" I said as he whispered in some girl's ear. I did notice however, that he kept looking our way, mostly at Angela. This could turn into trouble, I thought, now becoming a little worried and amidst all that, I still did not know what to expect from Edward tonight. He looked angry, no, angry wasn't really the right word, he looked, offended.

Edward returned, with a beer in his hand and sat down beside me. "Welcome back." I said, annoyed that he wouldn't tell me what was going on. Maybe he would later, in private. I decided to shrug it off and just have a good time. He was probably just overreacting to some impure thought Bodie was having.

As the night progressed, a few of the guys started playing poker, and Edward joined in because he knew a few of them. Angela and I joked around and chatted with people from my class and played pool. Apparently, billiards was very big in Alaska, it seemed like everyone had a table. People started doing shots around eleven, and of course, Edward joined in, chasing every one with a swig of beer. So much for keeping vigilant, I thought to myself. I immediately felt ashamed for thinking ill of him, he was having a good time, and I was glad he was out and about and getting along with everyone.

Bodie started hanging around us more and more as the evening went on, by midnight, we were standing around the pool table, and he and Angela were getting quite friendly with each other and he was bringing her drinks. I noticed every so often Edward studying the two of them and his sinister look returning. Then, I finally caught on to what was happening. Edward was not in fact, drinking at all. I had seen this tactic before in a movie, every time he did a shot, he followed it with beer, I watched him once and saw that he was actually spitting out the shot into the beer bottle that always seemed half full. He wasn't drunk at all; he was blatantly sober and putting on a show. Nobody around us noticed because they were distracted by the game, the music, the alcohol, and the swarms of college girls around us. Edward knew this and was using it to his advantage to keep an eye on Bodie, Edward Cullen was no longer socializing, he was hunting. I gasped and covered my mouth quickly and pretended to cough. Edward glanced up to me, detracting from his role for a brief moment and gave me a very solemn stare; somehow he knew that I knew.

Angela was slightly intoxicated, and Bodie was using _that_ to _his _advantage. He got her another drink and she eagerly drank it down, he put his arm around her. Now I felt like I had to watch Bodie in addition to Edward, we were a team after all and Angela was my friend.

"Hey, why don't you slow it down there Bodie, she's my ride home." I joked as I took my next pool shot.

"There's another one of you to do that." He teased nodding at Edward who was now laying his act on a little thick. I kept calm.

"Right, he probably doesn't even know where he parked the car at this point." I said flatly as the balls cracked against one another from the force of my shot.

Angela started giggling and Edward threw a glance our way. I overheard Bodie whisper to Angela, "I don't think your friend likes me very much."

"Oh," she said dismissively, "that's just Edward, he's kind of overprotective." I peered over the edge of the pool table, pretending not to be paying attention. I could hear every comment that was being made between them and see every lecherous move he was putting on her.

"I suppose that's a good thing. But for now…" He was now playing with the neckline of her shirt and my skin was absolutely crawling. "How do we get rid of him?" he persuaded lowly in her ear.

"We probably just need to get up and go somewhere else." Angela replied, oblivious to what he was trying to get at.

I distracted myself chalking up my stick, and then, I turned around and they were gone. They had disappeared into the crowd. Within moments, Edward was by my side.

"We need to find Angela." He said rapidly, all remnants of his act gone.

"She was just here, I don't know…" I started, his eyes darted around the room, he was trying to find her, trying to hear her, but his mortality gave him heavy limitations.

"We need to find her now," He repeated, his voice becoming more alarmed, he took my arm led me out of the main room, "before something happens." I heard him mutter angrily.

I didn't ask questions, I just did as he said; there would be time for questions later. We split up, Edward hurried upstairs, taking them two at a time and I looked around the remainder of the downstairs. I had made a complete circle around the house without any luck, I started to panic, maybe Edward found her upstairs. I didn't want to go outside alone. I stood in the kitchen helplessly tapping my foot and biting my thumb. I ran through my mind, trying to think of what to do and then I noticed a door opposite me, the basement door. I took a deep breath and turned the knob, I thought I heard someone whimpering, without even thinking about it, I hurried down the stairs.

I found them, I found them on a couch in the basement, and knew immediately that what was happening was not consensual. Angela was on her knees with her back to him; her arms were twisted abnormally behind her back, bound with a belt, her cheek pressed against the arm of the sofa. Bodie hovered over her murmuring something in her ear and she was crying.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I shouted, he looked at me in surprise and pushed her harder into the couch. "Edward!!" I screamed. I felt like my feet were tacked to the floor and that I was going to vomit.

"You keep it down Bella, if you know what's good for both of you." Bodie snarled at me.

That gave me the strength to move my feet and unknot my stomach, "you bastard!" I rushed over to him and attacked him. I shoved him with all of my might, his height dwarfed me, but I didn't care, I wanted to break his neck. He stumbled slightly, enough so that his hands were off of Angela, I shoved him again and went to throw a punch, when I felt someone grab my waist, lifting me off the ground and whirling me away from him. I twisted wildly against my adversary, throwing elbows, and nearly growling.

"Bella stop! Stop it!" Edward's voice shouted at me. I went still and he lowered me to the ground and released me, I went for Bodie again, he held a firm hand against my chest and glared at me. He hurried over to Angela who was crying hysterically and helped her up gently, carefully readjusting the sleeve of her shirt that had been ripped in the struggle. "Get Angela out of here," he ordered, his voice shaking.

I nodded and walked her to the cellar door that led outside, whispering words of comfort to her as she clung to me. Edward went to follow but stopped in front of Bodie.

Gone was the Bodie I knew, he sneered at Edward and said, "You're going to wish you didn't just do that."

Edward glared at him and growled, "I'd suggest zipping your pants up before you even consider threatening me." Bodie backed off slightly and Edward joined my side. "Let's go," he said firmly, his voice cracking.

We entered the freezing night without our coats, they were all still upstairs with everyone else who was having fun and not bearing witness to an attempted rape. Edward stayed close to us walking quickly to the car. I helped Angela in and we were about to leave when Bodie joined us outside, looking like he wanted a fight. "I really wish he didn't just do that." Edward whispered tightly. "Bella, get in the car and lock the doors."

"Wait, no let's just leave." I pleaded.

"Bella, car." He demanded, trying to steady his voice.

Angela started crying again; Edward turned and strode back to Bodie at an alarming pace. Bodie opened his mouth to speak; Edward skipped the formalities and shoved him against the house. I cried out loud in surprise and quickly clapped my hand over my mouth. I still hadn't gotten in the car; I just stood next to it while Angela cried in the backseat. Bodie kicked Edward in the shin and punched him in the face. I saw Edward's head whip to the side at the impact and then turn back and focus again on Bodie. He spat a mouthful of blood on the ground and managed to get in another strike, making Bodie bend at the waist. With some unknown strength that I had no idea he possessed, Edward grabbed Bodie's shirt and pulled him into the window of a car, causing it to shatter. Shards of glass cascaded around everywhere and Bodie's perfect face was bloodied and scarred. He cried out as Edward got behind him and dug the toe of his shoe into his lower back; tweaking Bodie into a position very similar to the one he had Angela in moments ago. Then came the point in the evening that frightened me the most, the unraveling of Edward Cullen. For as long as I had known him, Edward was always able to manage his temper, and control his instincts. Tonight, that wasn't going to happen, he took it too far, and was holding a large shard of glass against Bodie's throat. I was convinced that Edward was going to kill him.

"Edward, stop!" I shouted frantically.

"I told you to get in the car Bella." He snarled in a voice that I couldn't recognize.

"You're going to kill him! Now let's go, you scared the shit out of him, thank you very much, we need to leave now!" I yelled, getting angry.

He ignored me, I marched over to them, tears were coming out of Bodie's eyes, Edward had dislocated his shoulder. "Edward, look at me!"

He did as I asked, and stared up at me, he was seething, "please don't do this." I said sternly.

He looked away from me and roared loudly in frustration. "Take off your belt," he growled. I stared at him questioningly, "I'll get you another one, now take it off and give it to me." He demanded in an irritated, now more Edward like tone.

I did as he asked. He put down the makeshift shank he was wielding and wrapped the belt around Bodie's wrists. "You're lucky she's here. You'd be dead now if she wasn't, I can promise you that." Edward snarled close to Bodie's face. He twisted Bodie's head around roughly to face me, "you look at her." Bodie gazed up at me, blood and tears running down his face, I stared back down at him disgustedly. "Remember her face the next time you think about laying a hand on another woman and I swear I will find you. Do you understand?" Bodie nodded. "Now say, thank you Bella." Bodie swallowed hard, "say it," Edward growled again.

"Thh, thank you, Bella." Bodie stammered. With that Edward banged Bodie's head against the side of the car and he went unconscious.

I stared at Edward in disbelief at what I had just seen. Edward hoisted up Bodie's body and carried him to the car and dumped him in the trunk.

"Oh my god, is he dead?" Angela stuttered.

"No, unfortunately." Edward grumbled, getting into the driver seat and starting the car.

"Where are we going?" Angela asked.

"Police station." Edward replied, sounding defeated. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, we tried to get to you as fast as we could." I nodded in agreement, not knowing what exactly to say.

"I'm okay." Angela said, much calmer now, "my shoulder hurts a little, that and my pride." Edward smiled at her in the rearview mirror.

There was silence in the car for a long while as we all digested what had just happened. Edward gripped the steering wheel tightly, and I knew it was to keep his hands from visibly shaking. I had seen him like this once before, when I had nearly gotten attacked in Port Angeles the first year I had come to Forks. He had never let it reach this point before though. It was very clear to me at that moment how much Edward had kept hidden from me about the darker sides of his personality. Angela was the first to break the silence.

"Umm, what did you mean, you tried to get to me as fast as you could? How did you know what was going to happen?" She asked cautiously.

Edward's face dropped and he looked at the steering wheel, he opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. He had said too much to her and he just realized it. He laid a bloodied hand on my thigh for support and I said carefully, "Edward can, hear other people's thoughts." I saw Edward shut his eyes and wince at the words I had just said.

"What?" Angela asked.

"She's telling you the truth," Edward said miserably.

"Since when?"

"Since…" his voice trailed off, "since as far back as I can remember."

"That's amazing." She said breathlessly.

"It's unnatural and freakish." He replied.

"It's part of who you are; there must be a good reason for it." She said calmly.

"It's helpful at times…but mostly, it's an annoyance." He informed her.

She smiled kindly, "your secret is safe with me." She assured him quietly.

"I know that." He answered.

"Right, of course you do." Angela was quiet for a moment. Then she said, "thank you, both of you, for, helping me."

I turned in my seat and looked at her, she was a mess, her hair was everywhere, mascara on her face, her shirt was torn, and I could see bruises forming on her wrists. I wanted to kill him myself, over and over again. She smiled weakly at me and I touched her hand. "Are you sure you're alright?" I asked, "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

She shook her head, "I know I look awful, but really, nothing happened. You two made it just in time."

"Yeah," I said trying to keep things light, "Edward has a sixth sense when it comes to damsels in distress."

When we got to the police station, Bodie was regaining consciousness. Edward dragged him out of the trunk and hand delivered him to the police station lobby, along with the bag of Ketamine he found in Bodie's pocket that he used as his date rape drug of choice. We left him there, bound and bloody with the drugs on him and left before the police could question us.

"Do you think that'll work?" I asked as we drove away.

"He'll get something for the drug charge; maybe it will set things in motion." He replied.

We got home very late, I didn't know where Jasper and Alice were, I assumed they were in their room; Angela was still very shaken from what had happened, but managed to take a shower and get some sleep. I was prepared to do the same, when I saw Edward sitting in the living room, still soaking wet from the rain and his shoes were still on. He hadn't even bothered to clean up and his lip was starting to swell. He was staring at the floor, pressing his fingertips together.

"Edward?" I said softly, startling him, "Sorry." I whispered, sitting beside him.

"That's alright," he answered, not looking at me.

The damage to his face was worse that I had thought, he had dried blood on the corner of his mouth and several abrasions near his eyes and nose, probably where the glass in the car shattered and hit him. I could only imagine what Bodie would look like in the morning. Edward's hands were torn up; his knuckles bruised and sliced open. He was a mess. I could overlook all of it, every last bit of it, if not for the look in his eyes. He looked fearful and shaken apart, he looked lost.

"Edward," I said gently taking his chin and turning him to face me, he winced slightly at my touch and I almost burst into tears. "What is the matter?"

"I…" he started, but couldn't finish. He forcefully turned his head away from me, breaking my heart in doing so. "I just need some time to think love. That's all."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be that I didn't want to hear.

He couldn't speak; he just sadly nodded his head.

"Ok." I whispered, standing up. I turned and walked away from my broken love.

Many many thanks to everyone who is reading. I really appreciate it and it really makes my day when I get such nice reviews. Thank you thank you so very much. I hope the story is keeping people's interest. The mature rating will be self explanatory in the next few chapters so please keep reading and reviewing!


	37. Chapter 37 Confession

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 37**

**Confession**

"Alice," I called, rudely knocking on the guest bedroom door. "I need you, now."

The door swung open, Alice stood, wearing a tank top and yoga pants, "Bella, what is it?"

"Just, please, I need to come in. I'm sorry if I interrupted…"

"No, no Bella, of course not, come in."

Jasper saw my distress and hurried over to me, trying to calm me down. "Bella, what is it?" He asked, touching my face, reminding me so much of Edward that I felt my throat close up.

"There is something very, very, wrong with Edward." I said, my voice raising an octave.

"What happened?" Jasper asked.

"Edward almost killed somebody." Alice whispered, her face going blank.

Jasper looked back and forth between Alice and I, concern wrapping around all of his brilliant features.

"Angela got attacked, and we stopped the guy, and we were going to leave, but then a fight started, Edward nearly cut his throat, he dislocated the kid's shoulder and put his face through a window, and…" I couldn't continue.

"Is Angela alright?" Alice asked.

"She's fine, we got there in time, but Alice, Edward, he's not right, he _hunted_ the guy all night."

"Bella, of the seven of us, Edward was always the fiercest predator." This came as a surprise to me. "Probably because of the seven of us he was the most human. He channeled all of his energy and emotion into the hunt. It's not surprising that he did something like that." Jasper defended.

"But Jasper, he's downstairs now and he won't speak to me. He's like in shock or something."

"If he came as close as you say he did to harming someone, he's just trying to regain his composure, he'll be fine, he just needs time." Jasper reassured placing his cool hands on my arms. I stared at him skeptically, "I promise," he said.

"There's something else, isn't there Bella?" Alice asked suddenly. "There's something else going on. Tell us."

And that did it, like a fountain, all of my fears and doubts came pouring out of my mouth. Everything I had been holding in since we got back to Alaska. I told them about the blood, about Gordon Scott harassing Edward, the panic attacks, the nightmares, and the most recent incident where Gordon had pulled one of our files and looked up information about Forks on the computer. Alice and Jasper listened very closely, analyzing each layer of the story, trying to figure out what it all meant. We had no answers after an hour of talking, but I felt better, lighter, and that was progress to me.

"I guess this is what everyone meant when they were warning me to watch out for him." I said sadly.

"Oh I don't know, it doesn't sound like anything all that horrible has happened. He sounds like he's just acting like a normal human." Jasper reassured.

"Really Jasper?" Alice asked in an irritated tone, "Getting into fights and drinking all of the time is normal?"

"In college it is."

"How do you know? You've never been to college." She argued.

"That's not true, I…"

"Bella?" I turned behind me and saw Edward in the doorway, "do you want to go to bed?" He had shaved and showered and changed out of his clothes. His face looked like it was healing already and his expression wasn't desolate and despairing any longer.

"Sure," I said getting up, I walked toward him and waved at Alice and Jasper, leaving them to their argument.

"I'm sorry about all of that," he said softly as we walked to our bedroom. "I'm sorry for a lot of things I did tonight."

"You don't need to apologize, you need your space, you need your space, I understand." I said.

"It's never you that I'm angry at. I hope you know that." He said uneasily.

"Yes, I think you've said that to me before." I answered.

"Do you believe me?" He asked, his eyes wide and hurt.

"Why would you lie to me?" I said, answering his question with one of my own.

"I wouldn't."

"Okay," I said nodding my head.

"Okay," he said uncomfortably.

Things were still slightly strained between us for the next few days, but for no particular reason. We weren't angry with one another, nothing had happened between us, but I still felt as if Edward were withholding something from me, but I couldn't explain what.

Spring break was coming to an end, and all in all, with the exception of the last day or so, I had really enjoyed my short vacation. Even the last few days weren't that bad, I was just worried about Edward. I brought Angela to the airport and asked her if she planned on telling Ben about what had happened. She said she would eventually if the opportunity ever presented itself, but now was not the time. I heartily agreed with her. I stayed with her until her departure and gave her a big hug before she left. She promised to call me as soon as she got back to Forks so that I knew she got there safely and then she was gone.

The following day Jasper and Alice left and I was even sadder to see them go. They were my family, my confidents, and I hated to see them leave. Edward seemed as disappointed as I was, if not more. As much as he loved it in Alaska, I knew he missed his family. The day of their departure, I decided to stay home and let Edward drive them in alone, just in case he had any last minute things he wanted to say to them without me around. I hugged and kissed both of them, not wanting to let go, and then they were gone too and we were alone again.


	38. Chapter 38 The Vampire Returns

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**Okay so I wrote and rewrote this chapter at least four times, so please be gentle and read and review. I really hope everyone enjoys it. It's one of my favorites. Thanks again!**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 38**

**The Vampire Returns**

I felt terrible about how I had been behaving since the night of the party but I felt as if I needed to explain myself to Bella without the distraction of Alice, Jasper and Angela.

When I got home she was upstairs folding laundry and listening to music. I had wished that it dawned on me to stop at the florist and get her some flowers. I knew she was a little upset now that everyone had left and I hadn't been very helpful to her in the last two days. I took the stairs two at a time because I wanted to be alone with her so badly, making it to the bedroom in seconds. I didn't want to intrude on her, even though the door was open, I knocked lightly and peeked my head around the corner.

"Hey." She said softly, flashing her most beautiful smile at me.

"Hey." I said uncomfortably. I felt like I was speaking to her for the first time again, I probably would end up asking her something about the weather in a minute if I kept this pace up.

"What?" She asked with a small laugh as I stared at her stupidly.

"Umm, I'm sorry that I've been acting so odd the past few days."

"Edward, you already apologized to me. Its fine really, I understand." She said carelessly going back to the towels she was folding.

I laid a hand on her forearm, mid fold; she stopped what she was doing and looked up at me. "No, I don't think you do Bella." I said quietly. "Please listen to me."

Her doe like eyes bore a hole through me, I felt like she was putting me into a trance. "Okay." She said agreeably, putting down the laundry. That was easier than I had anticipated. We sat down on the edge of the bed together; she slipped her small hand into mine and waited for me to begin.

"Bella, what happened the other night, at the party," I nervously touched the back of my neck and ran my fingers through my hair, "was very…" I was an idiot; a rambling, incoherent idiot, I couldn't form a sentence. It was so difficult to put into words the emotions I had been feeling since the incident. The feeling was very black and white, why couldn't the words be so as well? "I almost killed him. I haven't felt that way in years."

"Edward, what did you see?" She asked, very concerned.

"I saw horrible things; you have no idea what he's done in the past. The moment he saw Angela, it was like a montage of every girl he had before. It was so much, information, so many crude, vile things and for what? For sport. That's all it is to him, a game, its fun. He's raped hundreds of women Bella, hundreds. They were very similar to one another, all very similar to Angela, and to you." I paused and swallowed hard. "He's never been caught, a few of the girls he's attacked, they were never found. He murdered them. He's a killer, a serial rapist and a killer. Jail time is a blessing for him."

"Edward, I'm sorry, I had no idea." Bella's face was torn and sympathetic, her eyes wide and sad.

"He was going to kill Angela." I said almost inaudibly.

She held a hand over her mouth, nearly gasping, but no sound came.

"He wanted her and things would have gotten much worse if we hadn't come. It was going to be slow and horrible."

Bella touched her face and combed her fingers through her mahogany hair nervously; she shook her head from side to side like she sometimes did when she was upset.

"Do you see why I've been acting this way now?" I asked trying to will her to look at me with my mind.

She looked back at me and nodded her head slowly.

"This is what I had to hear all night." I explained, "And the more time he spent with her, the more graphic his thoughts became. It's a miracle that I didn't go after him sooner."

"You really would have killed him wouldn't you?" She asked in disbelief. She didn't think that I could do it. That everything I had told her about my past and who I really am was an exaggeration.

"I think so." I said shamefully, I could barely look at her, I felt like I was going to be sick.

I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, suddenly feeling the need to pace. "I thought I could control this side of me. It turns out that I was in better control of myself when I was a vampire. Imagine that." I said raising my voice slightly in frustration.

"Edward, please don't do this to yourself." She pleaded with me. I knew that all of my angst and inner turmoil upset her so much; she thought I was as good as gold. She believed in me, she always did and I knew that she always would. I would drive her to madness by the end of our lives for sure. She stood and came over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders to quiet my pacing. "You acted defensively to protect one of our friends." She reassured, "You took it a little far, definitely, but he deserved much worse from what you tell me. In the end, the proper, responsible thing was done, that's what makes you who you are. You always do the right thing Edward. You push the envelope sometimes, but in the end you do right by yourself and by me and by your family. That's all that matters." She kissed my cheek gently, reminding me so much of Esme, with her reassurance and kind words. "And besides, I wanted to kill him too." She added darkly, "If I was stronger, I'd probably be in the same predicament that you're in right now."

It was starting to become clearer to me that the quiet, shy Bella Swan that most people were accustomed to was a force to be reckoned with. I cracked a weak, half smile at the thought of her going after Bodie. I still had a bruise where she had elbowed me when I had pulled her off of him in the basement.

"I think you take yourself too seriously." She said confidently, interrupting my thought. "Everyone loses control sometimes; you're no different, pompous ass." She teased.

I loved that her pet name for me when she wanted to make me laugh was 'pompous ass', she only pulled that gem of hers out on occasion.

"Thank you for your support." I said sarcastically, I wasn't biting.

Her body language changed completely, she planted a hand on her hip and sighed blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "Edward, sometimes I wonder if you go through life wanting to be miserable."

"Why would I do that?" I asked, sounding a little more irritated than I meant to.

"I'm not sure, why don't you tell me?" She asked, getting closer to me. I didn't know what to say, I was at a loss for words. I didn't think I wanted to be miserable all the time. Did I really come off as some kind of martyr?

"Alright," she said at my lack of response, "the whole time we've been together, beginning to end, you've proclaimed to be some kind of monster, predator, threat, to me and all of humanity. So let's see it Edward, just do it, try and do something to scare me. Go ahead, I can wait."

This was not the direction I wanted this day to go in, especially since I really hadn't been alone with Bella for a week or so. I wanted this to go so much better than it was. "Bella, this is absurd." I started.

"No, I'm serious, I want you to try and scare me. Prove me wrong."

"You know I would never do anything to intentionally upset you." I said very seriously, what was with her tonight?

"A real monster wouldn't care about me or my feelings," she said defiantly, stepping toward me boldly. Truth be told, she was actually starting to scare me. "Look, I'll make it even easier for you," she stood with her back to the wall and stared up at me, the scent coming off her recently shampooed hair was driving me to distraction. "Now I'm cornered. Try and hurt me," she demanded.

The dark pools of her warm brown eyes were burning me as she held my gaze. It seemed like it had been so long since I'd held her or said anything meaningful to her, being so caught up in myself as I had been. I reached a hand up to her and touched her warm cheek, running my battered and cut up fingertips down the curve of her perfect jaw and down the front of her throat. I swallowed hard; something about this moment was making me very nervous for some reason.

She stared at me expectantly, her hands at her sides. I leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. Her smell was driving me crazy; her scent hadn't seemed this intense to me since before I was human. She had done nothing to amplify it that I could tell, it was just everything about her that had my senses piqued. I kissed her more deeply; she wrapped her arms around my neck in response. I pulled back and studied her, all of the defiance had drained from her face and her expression had softened. Her mouth was open slightly and she nervously ran her fingers through her long hair and stared back at me.

I reached around and gently pulled her hair to the side, exposing her throat; I ran the back of my hand down her jaw and her neck and unzipped her sweatshirt slowly. Everything was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Her breaths quickened the slightest bit as I fingered the waistband of her shorts and I smiled, "are you scared yet?" I murmured in her ear.

"No, try harder." She whispered back.

I leaned into her and kissed her mouth, slipping my tongue inside. She put her arms around me and I pulled back, just out of her reach. I pressed the side of my face against hers, "How about now?" I asked wetly.

"No."

Her grip tightened around me and I pulled her hands off of my neck and kissed one of her wrists, practically lapping it and ran my still swollen bottom lip down her arm. I saw her cheeks flush, as I took her tiny wrists in my one hand and pinned them over her head and against the wall behind her. Her eyes lit up with excitement, but her face remained stoic. I wrapped my free hand around her waist and pulled her toward me until her pelvis was pressed against mine. It was getting more difficult for me to remain calm; I could feel my pulse quickening and my breathing becoming more rapid. "And now?" I asked smirking at her.

She smirked back at me and with a sudden surge of energy got out of my grasp and pushed me off of her, she followed through and reached behind me and held my hands back. She stood on her toes and grabbed the back of my head and pulled me toward her. Her fingers raked against my scalp and she swirled her tongue in my mouth hungrily. My hands knotted in her hair and she groaned. She moved her mouth across my jaw and down my neck. I felt my head get heavy and drop back, her hands moved over my chest and started hitching my t-shirt up.

"Bella…" I panted, my head still back, my chest heaving now, "I…" I felt like I should stop or say something, but I didn't have the strength to deny myself or her any longer. She kissed me hard on the mouth and sucked on my neck, stopping only to pull my shirt off.

My hands were everywhere on her, I didn't even know what I was doing anymore; I unzipped her sweatshirt and roughly peeled it off of her. The strap of her tank top slid off her shoulder and I helped it and the other strap along, pulling the garment down and over her waist. Her half naked body felt sensational as it crushed against mine. The harsh overhead light glared down on us, and I swiftly shut it off, replacing it with a much lower and dimmer bedside lamp. I would shut that off as well, if she asked me to. I didn't wait for her to ask me to; I shut that light off too, leaving us in complete darkness, how disappointing I thought to myself. Then, to my surprise she turned it back on, she wanted me to see her, or she wanted to see me, either way, I felt honored.

"Are you sure?" I asked gently. She smiled at me and nodded eagerly. How beautiful she was. I just wanted to see her face, I didn't need anything else. She kissed me again, interrupting my thoughts and brought me back to life pulling me toward our enormous bed that was starting to look a little intimidating to me. I planned to move very slowly, first and foremost, so as not to hurt her and secondly, because I really had no idea what I was doing.

I stood in front of her, she was kneeling on the bed, she pulled me against her, kissing my neck and shoulders. I felt her warm lips against my chest and then her tongue. I grabbed at her hair with one hand and slid the other down her back, over her buttocks and rubbed her thigh, slipping my hand up the leg of her shorts. Her skin was as soft as velvet and I wanted to be covered in it. I let my hand slowly wander further up her thigh, careful to be observant enough to stop if she protested in the slightest. When my hand couldn't go any further, she cried out, and I paused. She pushed up closer against me, giving me the clearance to continue. She breathed heavily in my ear as I touched her, and I thought I would collapse right there, and then a new sensation, her touching me. I swallowed hard and tried not to hyperventilate. I pushed her back onto the bed, a little more roughly than intended and buried my face against her stomach. Her fingers curled in my hair and then she started fumbling with my belt.

I slipped her shorts down just slightly, enough just so that I could see the blade of her hip and the lovely little curve of the bottom of her stomach. I ran my tongue along the edge of it and groaned. She had gotten past the belt and had moved onto the zipper of my pants. I slid her shorts and under things off and pressed my mouth against the inside of her thigh. She let me linger around there for a minute or two, letting me explore and then pulled me up on top of her and stared up at me.

She was perfect, every part of her, I placed my hand on the side of her flushed face and imprinted her expression in my mind. She covered my hand with hers and kissed my wrist sweetly.

"Are you absolutely sure?" I asked for the last time. As if I would be able to stop myself now. I had dreamt about her like this for as long as I could remember. The moment when she was mine and I was hers in every sense of the word. I'd waited days, weeks, months, years, to be with her, fighting her and myself the whole time. It would destroy me now if she said no.

She nodded, biting her lip nervously, "yes," she said.

Thank God. I thought to myself, and then the nervousness set in. What if I hurt her? What if something went wrong? The turmoil between head and body was unbearable.

"Promise me you'll say something if I do anything that hurts you." I urged.

She nodded, "just go slow."

All this talking was starting to affect the mood, but certain ground rules had to be set. She needed a choice; she needed to be treated with respect, like I had always promised her. I moved against her, careful not to put too much of my weight against her. She shut her eyes and sucked in a long breath as I moved completely inside of her. I knew I was hurting her, but she was too stubborn to object. Then I saw tears trickle out of her tightly shut eyes, and I nearly burst into tears myself. She needed to say something, or else I would.

"Bella," I said hoarsely, not daring to move.

Her eyes snapped open, the tears had stopped and a dark, fiery look stood in her eyes. She stared at me for a moment and then grabbed me roughly, pulling me down onto her. "Kiss me, now." She ordered breathlessly.

Something happened then, all romance, tenderness and concern had left me and what remained now was purely primal and reckless. I moved my mouth rapidly over hers and she pressed her hips against me and clawed at the small of my back. She ground her pelvis against mine in some kind of serpentine motion, somehow managing to push every button I had. I panted hard as she moved against me, gripping the sheets until my knuckles turned white. She arched her back and moaned, pushing her chest against me, I buried my face in her breasts and sucked her nipples, moving my hips in rhythm with hers. Her back arched again and I caught her this time, supporting her with both of my arms holding her against me. Her skin was hot and wet with perspiration and burned against mine, my heart rattled against my chest as I sucked on the front of her throat.

A new scent that I had never smelled before hung heavy in the air around us. It was thick and sweet, I could almost taste it. I wanted more of it, I wanted to roll around in it and smell it on my clothes and in her hair. I breathed the scent in deeply and groaned. I could smell it all around me; I could even smell it on Bella's hands as she touched my face. This wouldn't last much longer, it couldn't, I could barely control myself, now that the smell of sex had set in. I had to try to hold out for her though.

She ran her fingers across my lips and I greedily sucked on them, my chest heaving against hers. I was losing ground fast, I needed to slow down, but I didn't want to. I was so turned on and over stimulated, I could probably have done this in front of an audience of thousands with a spotlight shining on us without even caring. She took one of my arms in both of her hands and put it behind her neck, figuring she was getting sentimental, I gently stroked the side of her face in response. She turned her head and lapped and sucked at the bend in my arm right where my vein was and that was the key to my undoing, the simplest thing, was about to make me explode.

"Oh god Bella," I panted, "don't stop, please don't stop…" I begged. I moved hard against her and she cried out.

I laid with nearly all my weight on her, burying my face in her shoulder, kissing her furiously. "Edward," she breathed, "Edward bite me. Please Edward, bite me…" her request took me by surprise, and was unsettling to say the least, but she could ask anything of me, anything, and I would give it to her. There were many things that I couldn't be for her, but one thing I could always be for her was attentive; an attentive spouse and an attentive lover. I pulled her roughly off the pillow and toward me, she dropped her head back in submission and I buried my face against her neck, against her throbbing jugular. For the briefest moment, I wanted to taste her blood, was it possible that I could actually smell it? I wanted to break her and let her fill my mouth; the thought of it sent me over the edge as I sunk my teeth against her and did as she asked. She moaned more loudly than she had before and nearly drew blood as she scraped her nails down my back. She cried out my name and moaned again. Simultaneously, a loud growl ripped from my chest as I felt a thousand electric shock waves of pleasure overtake my entire body. I felt every muscle in my body stiffen and then relax over and over again until I had no energy left. Bella collapsed back against the mattress and I held myself up over her, my arms shaking uncontrollably from fatigue. "Kiss me," I whispered hoarsely, she sat up and put a hand on my face and kissed me over and over again until the shaking stopped, and I could finally lie down beside her.


	39. Chapter 39 Afterglow

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**Thank you so much for all of the great reviews! It keeps me going and keeps me smiling, I really appreciate everything. Just a couple more fresh scenes and then we'll get back to the heart of the matter of the story. These next couple chapters are just kind of fun. Keep reading and reviewing!**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 39**

**Afterglow**

I felt like I had been laying there for hours, when in fact, it had only been several minutes. She lay against me, sleeping, her fiery cheek against my naked chest. I had so many questions to ask her; was she alright, how did she feel, did I do anything wrong, was this going to change anything? I could have very easily woke her up and all my apprehensions and concerns could be put to rest, she would be honest with me, she always was, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb her. I was completely enraptured in her, asleep on me, nothing but her soft skin touching mine. It was like a mirage, a fantasy that I never thought I could have in all of my existence. I never thought the day would come for me when I would be in love with someone so much, and to have a normal relationship with them, that was even more unbelievable to me. I wasn't good enough for her, nobody was. She herself was an immaculate conception that no one could ever come close to being good enough for. Maybe the fact that I could see that above all other things meant that I _was_ good enough for her.

I smoothed a piece of her long, shining hair away from her face gently and kissed her forehead, she stirred slightly, sighing contently. Her eyelids flickered slowly and I felt her long, thick lashes brush against my chest. I smiled to myself, at this moment all of my senses were so attuned to her that I felt like I was immortal again. The carnal smell that had set me off before still hung a little in the air and in the sheets, but slowly, Bella's regular freesia scent was overtaking it. I almost felt sleepy from the sense of calm it was instilling in me.

"Bella?" I said softly.

"Yes Edward?" She replied sleepily. I hadn't realized that she was awake, her breathing was so soft and even I thought for sure she had been sleeping.

I sat up slightly, my arm still curled around her so as not to disturb. She slowly sat up, wrapping the sheet tightly around the front of her chest. Such modesty, didn't she know how beautiful she was? She peered shyly into my eyes and smiled, running the hand that wasn't clutching the sheet nervously through her tangled hair

"umm," I started uneasily, "are you…alright?" I asked cautiously.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked, a look of genuine confusion furrowed her face.

Did she really need to make this question any more uncomfortable for me really? "What I mean is," I cleared my throat nervously, "I know for women, that…" please don't make me go into sex Ed 101 references, please…I thought to myself.

"Oh, that," she interrupted thankfully, her cheeks flushed slightly. "I think I'm okay."

That was enough for me, I didn't need details. I felt relieved, and went back to focusing on my love. I wanted her closer to me; I needed to feel her skin against mine again. I gently pulled her toward me, she settled in comfortably, laying her chin against my shoulder and tucking herself closely against my side.

"Are _you _alright?" She asked suddenly. What an odd question to ask, I thought, men didn't have to deal with the same physical discomfort that women did with their first time. I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. "I mean, I didn't really ask you if you were ready…even though you asked me."

I chuckled softly, she was worried that she had pressured me; that she had come on too strongly to me, when in reality, I had been the one growling and biting her and endlessly touching her. "Bella that was the single most gratifying experience of my life."

"Better than blood?" She asked curiously.

"Amplitudes better than blood," I answered.

"Really?" She asked sitting up a little.

"Really." I said smiling at her. A proud grin crossed her face and she stuck out her chest a little. She nodded to herself, shifting her eyes around slightly and settled back down against me.

The arrogant side of me wanted to know what she thought of the whole 'performance', but to ask something along the lines of 'so was it good for you?' seemed so cliché and crass to me that I refused to lower myself to that. I instead just sat in the quiet afterglow of my fantastic night with Bella, wondering when I would have another chance to be with her like that again.

"You know what?" She interrupted suddenly.

"What's that love?"

"It was worth the wait." She said kissing my chest softly.

That was all I needed to hear as I felt my own proud little grin cross my face. Even now as a human, there were very few things in this world that I wasn't good at.


	40. Chapter 40 Impromptu

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

I wonder if Bella would ever have it in her to do something like this, I like to think she would…

EPOV

Chapter 40

Impromptu

Apparently, this was all the encouragement that we needed because the next several weeks were like a page ripped out of an erotic novel. I started seeing Bella in a completely different way. I had always been attracted to her; I was a man after all. There had been many times, even before all of this that I would catch myself straying away from her face as she spoke and focusing on her hips, her tight stomach, her chest. There were plenty of times I had done that; rarely did she catch me though. But now, it was as if I had a completely different set of eyes in my head. I chased after her like a dog in heat, blatantly, ..worse.

It was a Saturday morning and I was in the den, playing something on my guitar, when a rush of steam filled the upstairs hallway and invaded every aspect of personal space I had. She had just taken one of her world famous long winded showers. The smell that filled the whole upstairs was suffocating, all floral and sweetness and twice as potent because of the thickness in the air. I continued to play, trying not to get distracted. I heard the bathroom door open and the goddess emerged. She was wrapped tightly in a towel, water beading up and glistening on her shoulders, and her dark, wet hair cascaded around her heart shaped face. She caught me staring at her, my mouth was practically agape and she gave me a shy smile as she walked down the hall to our bedroom. I watched her walking away from me, staring at her shapely legs and I thought for sure that I would have to find whoever invented the treadmill and throw myself in front of them and kiss their feet in gratitude someday. She dropped something, an article of clothing, and bent over to pick it up, causing the towel to ride up a little. I saw more leg, and it slipped a little, revealing part of her back. She smiled again shyly and hurried into the bedroom to change.

I fought with myself for a moment, trying to remember the music I had been playing, but forgot it all completely. I threw down the guitar and literally, ran down the hallway, slamming the bedroom door nearly off its' hinges behind me. I grabbed her face and practically jammed my tongue down her throat I was so turned on. She started giggling and responded just as eagerly. The towel was off in seconds.

Everything went downhill from there. We couldn't keep our hands off each other; we put Emmett and Rosalie to shame. Both of us were to blame, I would be on my way to class and I would get a text message that said one word; CAR, and then I would turn on my heel, ditch class and meet up with her in my backseat. The classes we had together were excruciating, the tension was tangible between us as we would sit like children with our hands in our pockets and then about ten minutes before class ended, I would text her; BATHROOM. I'd watch as her face would flush in anticipation and my mouth would simultaneously get dry. One time when we met up in the bathroom, there were other women in there, fixing their makeup or adjusting their hair and we didn't even bother stopping. I just turned my head at them while Bella bit my lip and pulled on my shirt and smirked darkly at them. They left shortly after that.

It was starting to become a game for us, how impromptu we could be with our physical relationship, and the more inappropriate it was the better. We got thrown out of bars, restaurants, theaters. I ambushed her in the garage when she got home from school one day on top of my Volvo. She would interrupt me when I was making dinner, we'd go to the gym, come home and shower together, Tanya's pool table and practically every piece of furniture in our house had been marked by us. There was even a point when Emmett and Rosalie came out to visit and ended up staying with the Denali clan because we were so obnoxious. Our grades suffered slightly, we skipped more classes, slept in more, it was undeniably reckless and irresponsible, but we didn't care, it was new, and we were having fun, besides we only had a month or two left of school anyways, then we'd have to go back to Forks and our privacy would be gone. We were actually considering staying in Alaska over the summer, not because of our new pastime, but just because we had grown very accustomed to the life we had created together and neither one of us were ready to give it up.

This lifestyle we had begun to lead lasted for about a month, and then we decided to take it down a notch. Our lives became more normalized again and we held the nymphomania at bay. By no means did we stop, we just did it less frequently, and, less publicly. With the exception of the occasional quickie between classes.

It was late April, school and finals would be over in a month and a half, so now, crunch time had set in. Bella and I both had truckloads of schoolwork due, projects, final exams, papers; we were both working very hard. I sat in the bedroom, listening to a CD and reading some text book for class, my eyes were beginning to get very heavy, and I still needed to get ready for bed. I decided I could read and outline one more chapter before I seriously lost all competencies.

I sighed and stretched my back, readjusted into a cross legged position against the pillows and hunched over my books. I would need a chiropractor before sophomore year even started for sure. I heard the stairs creaking in the hallway; Bella was probably getting ready to come to bed. So much for that last chapter, I thought to myself, snapping the cover onto my highlighter. I stretched again and flipped through the book.

Bella walked into the room, to my surprise, carrying a bottle of red wine and two glasses. She had already dressed for bed, wearing black shorts and a fitted black t-shirt, I also happened to notice that she had gotten her nails done, hands and toes in a deep red color, very attractive. My tiredness was starting to wear off.

"Hello love." I said raising an eyebrow in speculation at her with a slight inflection in my tone.

"Hi!" She said brightly, setting down the bottle and the glasses on the bedside stand. She apparently had already opened the bottle downstairs, because all she did was pull the cork out and begin pouring. She smiled warmly at me and handed me a glass.

"To what do I owe all of this?" I asked skeptically.

She smiled more widely at me and opened up the drawer of the bedside stand and pulled out a single cupcake with a candle in it, which she promptly lit with a lighter she had in the drawer as well. I watched with curiosity as she lit a couple of candles that were scattered around the room as well.

She handed the cupcake to me and said sweetly, "happy birthday Edward."

"What?" I asked, confused, looking at the calendar on the bureau, April 23rd, my mortal birthday, she remembered. I had mentioned it to her once before in a drunken stupor, I didn't think she'd actually remember it. I smiled crookedly looking at the single burning candle sticking out of the cupcake that was starting to drip colored wax. "Nobody's ever done this for me before," I said in quiet awe.

"Get used to it." Bella said, now sitting beside me and patting my leg lovingly, she looked positively thrilled to be sitting next to me. "Make a wish."

I looked at her stupidly, and she gave me an encouraging nod. I shut my eyes and blew it out, making the first birthday wish I had made in over eighty years.

"What'd you wish for?" She probed.

I set down the makeshift birthday cake and sipped the wine she had given me, letting it swirl a little bit under my tongue. New Pony, by Bob Dylan played lowly in the background. "I can't tell you that or else it won't come true." I teased, that much I knew about birthdays.

"What if I guess?" She asked mischievously.

"It would take you a hundred years to figure it out." I teased.

"Really?" She asked. She quickly swilled down the rest of her wine and set the glass on the table. The bluesy guitar solo of the song was coming up. Her feet were on the floor but she quickly slipped them up on the bed, stretching them out before her and touching her ankle seductively. She tossed her hair forward and grinned at me. I had no idea what she was up to.

I quickly took another sip of my wine and sat back further against the pillows. She pulled herself up and off the bed suddenly, walking, no, strutting around to the foot of it, where two wrought iron posts stuck up straight in the air. I swear, if she…oh my god, she was, she was really going to do it.

She grabbed the post on the right and dropped her head, arching her back, she turned and smiled wickedly at me and slid herself down the post, landing in a squatting position close to the pine floor. Then she pulled herself back up and let herself lazily swing forward and hopped up on the bed, landing on her knees. Bella moved to the left pole on the opposite side of the bed and faced it like it was a person. My mouth went dry as she moved up the pole, letting her bottom lip slide along it slowly. She thrust herself up against it, and dropped her torso back and looked at me upside down and sunk back down on her heels. I had no idea she was so flexible, where did she learn how to do that? I took another sip of my drink, in a feeble attempt to get some back some of the moisture I was rapidly losing. I swallowed hard and couldn't take my eyes off her; she slowly slipped her tightly fitting black shirt over her head and tossed it behind her shoulder at me, turning to reveal some kind of lacey, push up bra that barely covered her. I was in my glory; I felt my heartbeat pick up steadily and sat back even further against the pillows.

I must have looked terrified, because Bella's steamy, swaggering, expression turned amused for a second as she laughed softly at me. I think at that point I was holding a pillow against me because I didn't know what else to do with my hands. I had to keep them occupied because if I didn't I would have taken her by now and I wasn't ready for her to stop, not yet at least.

She crawled toward me, purposely knocking all of my school things off the bed, sending them clattering onto the floor in her wake. She kissed me hard, aggressively unbuttoning my shirt in the process. I went to put my arms around her and pull her against me, but she pinned them back, grinning darkly at me. I surrendered, and without warning, she lowered her face into my lap. Well this was highly unexpected; I didn't want her to feel like she needed to…oh my God. I needed to grab something, now. I gripped the headboard behind me, to steady myself, my knuckles went white, if I were still immortal and this was happening, I would have snapped the wrought iron into pieces. My eyes literally rolled back into my head and I couldn't catch my breath, my throat burned. I wanted her so badly, but I didn't want her to stop, but I needed her, but she felt so good…But I had made my decision, I pulled her up and flipped her onto her back, throwing myself on top of her. She laughed the most beautiful laugh; I crushed my pelvis against her and nearly dislocated both of my shoulders pulling my shirt off.

I leaned in to kiss her and with a wide grin she asked me in a sultry voice, "so did I guess your birthday wish right?"

I smiled crookedly at her, which I knew she loved and replied, "actually, you weren't even close." She pouted at me and I whispered to her, "I wanted a new set of tires for my car. But I suppose this is just as good."


	41. Chapter 41 Unraveling

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 41**

**Unraveling**

It was about eleven when Bella's phone rang, neither one of us were asleep, we were still up, high off the endorphins left behind by my 'birthday present'.

"Ugh." She groaned, pulling the sheet more tightly around her and leaning toward the bedside stand.

"Don't answer it. Just let it go to voicemail." I whined, sounding needier than I meant to.

"Hang on; I need to see who it is." She said disapprovingly as she grabbed it off the table. "It's Jacob."

"Tell the dog to call back at a reasonable hour." I grumbled, lying back against the pillows.

"No Edward, it might be important." She said very seriously.

"Fine," I sighed.

She reached over and mussed up my hair, giggling and then flipped open the phone. "Jacob? Hey what's up?"

I watched her closely, trying to eavesdrop on their conversation; he must have said hi and asked her what she was doing because she answered with, "we're home, just celebrating Edward's birthday." She threw me a glance like we were in on some secret together, smirking suggestively at me. Then he must have made some kind of derogatory comment about me because she frowned and said flatly to him, "Jacob is there some other reason why you're calling me or what?" I narrowed my eyes at the phone in contempt, as if the dog were standing right in front of me and could see me.

He then must have said something else offensive to her about me or us or whatever, because her expression was growing more severe by the second and she was now sitting on the edge of the bed. I decided to intercede; I crawled up behind her and closed my hands around her waist, and said in my most innocent and persuasive tone in her ear, "Bella, come back to bed." I hoped the dog could hear me. I thought he might be able to. She gave me no response, "Bella, please?" I purred. She could never resist me when I put those two words together in that voice. To my dismay, she threw a hand up to quiet me, and that was when I knew that something was wrong.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, in my normal voice.

She turned her head and looked at me, her expression very solemn. "Jacob, Edward's right here, oh you heard that? Sorry, anyways, I'm going to put you on speaker so he can hear you too. No, you don't have to talk to him. Just talk to me, no, he's not going to talk to you, Jacob, this is serious! Stop being such a baby, I'm doing it now." She clicked a button on her phone and I could hear Jacob Black grumbling on the other end.

"I can hear you dog." I said loudly.

"Stop it." Bella hissed at me.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm sorry Jacob, what's going on? Is everyone alright?"

"That depends on who you consider to be everyone." Jacob replied. I was beginning to get anxious now. I gave Bella a concerned look and she laid a hand against my chest to calm me.

"Jacob, start from the beginning please." Bella said gently into the phone.

"Sam okayed the execution of a bloodsucker." My heart nearly stopped, my thoughts immediately went to my family.

"Who?" Bella asked quickly.

"It's not any of the Cullens." He quickly reassured, "So don't get yourself all worked up, your precious vampire family is fine." He sounded like he was half joking, half irritated, I growled under my breath at his tone.

I tried to think of who he was talking about, was Victoria back? I got goose bumps at the thought of her and her vengeance skulking around the town that housed our friends and family.

"I think we found your bloodsucking, healing, presto chango doctor person."

"Juno?" She asked in disbelief. "Why is the pack going after Juno?"

"The pack _went_ after Juno." He said gently, "Bella, she's dead."

She gasped out loud and took my hand. "Bella, I'm sorry," he continued, "I don't know if you were friendly with her, or if it was more of a business arrangement you had, but she…she went after someone."

"No, Jacob, she wouldn't…she hasn't for years…she's a veterinarian, she helped Edward…she doesn't hunt humans…" She stammered, helplessly defending her, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Bella, I don't know what happened with her, but she, she went after someone, and…you know how the treaty goes, Sam went to find her and…"

She shook her head sadly, "she's dead." Bella whispered.

"I'm sorry Bella." His voice was deep and solemn and looked like it brought her no comfort like I knew it usually did.

"Why would she attack a human? Is the person she attacked dead?"

"Nearly."

"What do you mean nearly? How long ago did this happen? That person is out there transforming somewhere, they need to be found and helped." She urged.

"This happened last night. Wait, how do you…make a vampire Bells?"

She spouted off to Jacob as much as Alice and I had told her regarding vampiric transformation. "A vampire has venom, when they bite someone and drink, if they don't kill the person immediately, the venom travels through the bloodstream and changes them. It takes about three days and it's very painful." I silently nodded at her in agreement. Jacob was silent on the other end of the phone. I could imagine how disturbed he was, knowing that she knew so much.

"Umm, I don't think she bit this person, I think she seriously went after him and tried to kill him."

I was completely confused, I could understand even the most stoic of vampires having a moment of weakness, but this, this sounded like a crime of passion. It seemed very odd behavior for the eternally damned.

"Where did it happen?" She asked.

"On the reservation." That seemed even odder to me.

"Jacob, none of what you're saying makes sense. You're telling me that Dr. Juno did not bite, but instead attacked a person on the reservation, nearly killing them and was then taken down and killed by the pack?"

"Bella, I'm just telling you what happened. I don't know most of the specifics, when you say it out loud it doesn't make a lot of sense but that's what happened." He snapped at her and I wanted to choke him, he was so childish at times.

"It sounds like some kind of dramatic suicide attempt." I said half joking and then it hit me. The scenario sounded a lot like the alibi that I had come up with on the off chance that the Volturi came around looking for us. There were too many similarities, too many unexplained circumstances, something wasn't right here and I had a sickening feeling that Jacob and the pack had played right into some elaborate scheme unknowingly. I felt like something irreversible had just been set into motion right under everyone's noses.

"Jacob, tell me exactly what happened." She demanded.

"They were monitoring the perimeters when they got her scent. They tracked her for awhile, keeping their distance because she had a human with her. She and he were talking one minute and then arguing the next. She grabbed him and threw him down and clawed his neck open. From what Sam said, she looked like she was doing everything she could to avoid biting him."

"She didn't want to change him."

"But still, she could have just drunk his blood until he was dead and he wouldn't have been changed right?" Jacob asked, as if it were all so simple, idiot.

"She didn't want to go against her beliefs Jacob. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill people, she's a healer."

"Well, that's all very noble Bells, but I think you're reading too much into this."

"Of course you do." She said quietly, I was furious with him for making her feel belittled and small. I knew how much Jacob cared about Bella, but he had no filter and at times could be a complete and utter prick. This seemed to be turning into one of those times.

"Come on, Bella, I didn't mean anything by it, I just, I don't think you should worry about this."

"Then why did you call me?" She asked dryly.

"I, I called because…" he had no answers for her, the whole situation was making him uneasy and we both knew it.

"Exactly." She said with a tone of finality in her voice.

"Please don't be worried Bella," he said trying to soothe her addled mind. "Nothing's going to happen to you or Edward, you're like a million miles away. This was just a stupid isolated instance. Everything is going to be fine."

I knew how much he wanted to comfort her and I sensed a tone of regret in his voice, probably for telling her about the incident in the first place. She didn't want him to be upset, so Bella did what she did best and appeased him. "Yeah, you're probably right. Everything will be fine. What happened to the guy anyway?"

"He disappeared into the woods. The pack has spent most of today looking for him and can't find a trace of him."

"Oh, he must not be as bad off as you thought." She said her tone and facial expression deadpan.

"Guess not." Jacob agreed.

There was an awkward silence between them for several moments. She sighed heavily into the phone and reached over and placed her hand on my leg. "Have you seen my father recently?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Charlie, yeah, I saw him the other day, my dad and I went over to watch a game with him."

"How's he doing? I just spoke to him yesterday and he seemed fine, but you actually get to see him from time to time. Is he alright? Eating okay? Keeping out of trouble?"

Jacob chuckled on the other end, "sure, sure, Bella, he's fine. He misses you, but he's so happy that you're in school and doing well. He's really proud of you." Her eyes looked teary for a second, she missed Charlie so much.

"Did he get my care package?"

"I don't know Bella; didn't you say you just talked to him?" His tone was more cheerful and casual now.

"Well, yeah, but I forgot to ask him," she protested.

"Isn't it usually the parent that sends the kid the care package?"

"I suppose it is, but we're not your average family." She glanced over at me and smiled, I chuckled softly at her comment.

"Well, I should probably let you get back to what you were doing." He said in an uncomfortable tone, remembering that I could hear him.

"Thanks for calling Jacob; you should do it more often."

"Last time I checked the phone worked both ways sweetheart." He said sarcastically.

"You're right; I'll call you next week okay?"

"It's a date. Bye Bells."

She closed her phone softly and touched it to her chin, and just sat for a moment like that, still wrapped tightly in the bed sheet. She glanced over at the foot of the bed where my shirt still lay. She reached over and put it on to cover herself up. She looked positively adorable in it, simply because it was enormous on her. I never realized I was so much bigger than her, the sleeves were rolled up on it and they still went down practically to her wrists. She tilted her head slightly and sniffed the collar and a look of calm passed over her weary face. I was glad that I had that effect on her. She certainly had the same effect on me.

"I don't like this." She said staring down at the mattress and biting her lip.

"Neither do I." I agreed very seriously, "too much is happening."

She stared up at me with a look of understanding and dread and she nodded her head slowly.

"Something is coming, soon." I said, "but I have no way of knowing what, and now, there's very little I can do to prevent it. Why hasn't Alice said anything?" I asked out loud to no one in particular.

"Edward," Bella said in a very small voice, "she has."

I turned my head so quickly that I nearly gave myself whiplash and stared at Bella, "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, there was nothing specific that I could tell you, just that we would 'face adversity'" she said making quotes with her fingers. "That there would be times where you would be in danger, but at no point did she say, Juno's going to die, or Edward's going to have magical healing blood, or a professor is going to give Edward a hard time…"

I was incredulous, how could she keep something like this from me? "Bella," I said placing my hands on her shoulders and locking my eyes with her, she looked up at me as if I were going to beat her. I immediately lowered my voice so as not to frighten her, "Bella, when did Alice tell you this?"

"Before we left for Alaska…in August."

I dropped my hands from her shoulders and had to bite my tongue so as not to fly off the handle at her. I nearly drew blood I bit it so hard. "August? Jesus Christ Bella, why didn't you tell me? I could have stayed the way I was; none of this would be a concern now. Now we're just…sitting ducks waiting for something awful to happen to us. I could have stopped this, I could have possibly prevented this, I can't do anything now!" I sat on the edge of the bed and dropped my face into my hands.

"Edward stop it!" She said loudly, sitting beside me, "you wanted this, I wanted this. We both decided together. Would you take any of it back?"

"Bella, we're in a completely different situation now." I said evasively, looking at the floor. "If I knew this was going to happen, I would have never even…"

"I know." She interrupted, "that's why I didn't tell you. Look at me," she said through gritted teeth, grabbing my face and turning it to her, "would you take any of it back? Tell me the truth."

I wanted to give her the noble, selfless answer, but she wanted the truthful one, "No." I said finally.

"Good." She said, "I wouldn't want you to." She kissed my forehead and my phone rang. I reached over and looked at the screen, Alice. She was going to get a mouthful from me.

"Hello." I grumbled into the phone.

"Don't be mad at Bella," she said quickly.

"I'm not." I said holding the phone with my shoulder and grabbing my pants up off the floor.

"Don't be mad at me either."

"That could be a different story," I snapped, adjusting my belt and walking out of the bedroom.

"Edward…" She started.

"Alice!" I said impatiently, interrupting her mid sentence, "I don't care. I don't want to hear it. Just tell me if Bella is safe."

"Yes, she's safe."

"Good. Is she going to remain safe?" I asked as I trotted down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Yes, directly," she answered.

"What do you mean directly?" I asked suspiciously as I poured myself a glass of water.

"What I mean is, no one is going to hurt her, nobody is going to inflict any physical harm against her. But, should someone harm you, it will devastate her."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Honestly Edward, were you always this dumb?" She asked impatiently, I was slightly taken aback becoming swiftly annoyed with Alice. "Is it the hormones? Have they taken over your mind completely?"

"Alice, I'm in no mood for this." I said tiredly.

"You're right. I'm sorry. What I meant was, nobody is going to try to hurt or threaten Bella, somebody, however, may want to hurt you, quite seriously. You, Edward are in danger this time, Bella is not the focus. However, if something happens to you, something that separates you from Bella, it will destroy her. You both need to be safe; one of you can't survive without the other. It would be like severing two conjoined people. Do you understand what I'm saying now?"

I was silent for a minute, mulling over that statement in my head. My life was in danger, _my_ life, as opposed to Bella's.

"Your life is not in danger Edward, stop being so dramatic. The path I'm seeing you on isn't one hundred percent clear yet, but as long as you include Bella, you'll both be fine."

"Why wouldn't I include Bella?"

"To protect her," she stated firmly.

"Alice, I can't let anything happen to her." I argued.

"I know that Edward, but you need to understand that she feels the same way about you. She has a very important role to play in keeping you safe and you need to let her play it. You need to be very honest with her and allow her to do right by you."

"Can't you just tell me specifically what I should be expecting to happen?"

"No, because I don't know specifically."

This phone call was useless, I thought bitterly, useless, cryptic and hollow. I felt like I was talking to someone on a psychic hotline, all generalizations, and no real answers. All it did was stir up anxiety in me, at least I knew Bella would be okay and that gave me a little piece of mind.

"Carlisle wants to talk to you." Alice said suddenly.

"Okay." I sighed, sitting down at the counter and glancing at the clock, midnight, I would be useless in class tomorrow or today rather. I looked at the scar on my hand from where I had cut myself months ago when this all started. I'd probably end up slicing my hand open again if I didn't get some sleep.

"Edward," my father's smooth voice said.

"Hello." I said politely.

"Son, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch with you. I've run several tests on the blood you sent me."

"And?"

"And, I can't find anything abnormal about it."

"Aside from the fact that it can heal open wounds?" I asked sarcastically.

He laughed softly on the other end of the phone. "Yes I suppose that is a little different, but genetically, it's a very sound sample. I did, however find a separate protein in it that I could not find in any of the control samples I matched it against. I have theorized that this separate protein has a great deal to do with your blood's ability to heal. You say that it doesn't heal systemically, but more locally, correct?"

"That's right." I said, growing increasingly uninterested. Who cared about the science behind it? It was what it was and it was just a continued reminder that I was not now or ever would be normal.

"It's very interesting Edward. Perhaps, whatever powers the healer has, she passes a small piece of it to her recipients. Maybe that's how the bloodline of the healer evolves to create another healer."

"You mean like a virus?" I asked. How appropriate. I was a walking biohazard.

"Exactly, but in a good way."

"That's a very good theory, thank you for taking the time to look into that for me."

"Edward I'm very sorry about what happened to Juno. I'm supposed to be meeting with Sam to find out more about it. I'll contact you as soon as I know the specifics."

No. I thought to myself, don't contact me. I don't want to know anymore. I just want to live my life as it was with Bella until I couldn't any longer. I didn't want any more messages, or warnings or pearls of wisdom from anyone. I just wanted Bella, I just wanted to live with her and eat with her and sleep with her and enjoy every minute I could with her. I didn't care anymore; I was done with puzzles and role playing. I wanted to live my life, no matter how long or short it was.

"Carlisle, you know how much I love everyone, but honestly, my mind can't handle any more of this. I don't want to know the future. I don't want to know what happened to Juno, I'm sorry she's gone, but really, there is so little that matters to me now. I just want to be able to enjoy whatever time I am given. I'm done putting Bella and I through this." If I had said that to anyone but Carlisle, I would have been met with resistance, but I knew he wouldn't push the issue. Carlisle knew me, and when I said I couldn't handle something any longer, he knew that I couldn't. He knew what was important to me.

"That's a reasonable enough request." He said gently, "I'll just find out for my own knowledge then."

"Thank you Carlisle, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be difficult, I just, don't want to think about this anymore."

"Are you happy son?"

"Yes, I'm very happy."

"Then that's all that matters really."

"Thank you."

"You sound tired."

"I'm very tired. It's been…a very productive night."

Carlisle chuckled softly on the other end, "get some sleep. We'll talk to you soon."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight son."

I nearly dragged myself back upstairs, shutting the light off behind me. I quickly changed clothes and when I got back to the bedroom, Bella had tucked herself in, leaving a dimly lit end lamp on for me. I walked around to her side of the bed and sat beside her. I could tell by her breathing that she wasn't asleep yet. It amazed me how much I knew about her. I wondered if she knew as much about me as I did her. I wondered if she knew my footsteps like I knew hers, or if she knew what my favorite sleeping position was, or what my favorite shirt looked like. I had made it a point to learn all of these things about her and ingrain them in my memory so I could never forget them.

"Bella?" I murmured.

"Yes?" Her muffled pillow voice answered. I wondered why she hadn't sat up and looked at me. I hoped she wasn't upset.

"Are you awake?" Silly question, of course she was awake, I knew that before I had even said anything.

"Mmhm." She muttered. I placed my hand against the back of her neck and pushed back her hair. "Edward?" She asked as I traced circles along her skin.

"Hmm?"

"Are you mad at me?" I stopped moving my hand on her and was silent. How could she think I was angry with her? If anything, she should be angry with me for choosing to change myself and thus leaving us vulnerable to be attacked. She was safer with me when I was a vampire, how ironic.

"Of course I'm not mad at you." I said gently, starting to trace circles on her neck again.

"What about Alice?"

"No Bella, I'm not mad at Alice. I'm not mad at anyone. I understand why you didn't want to tell me."

She sat up suddenly, planting herself next to me on the bed. She threw me a confused sideward glance, "You do?"

"I think so." I said brushing a strand of hair off her face; I couldn't _not _touch her it seemed.

"What did Alice say?"

"She didn't say much, and neither did Carlisle." I answered.

"You spoke to both of them? Did Carlisle talk to Sam? Does he know anything about Juno? What about Alice, has she seen anything?" The questions coming from her mouth seemed endless.

"Bella, I asked them both not to tell me anything else in regard to that subject matter." I said carefully. Any other girl would raise an eyebrow at me and ask me to translate into English for them. But not Bella, she was so accustomed to the dated way in which I spoke that she was almost surprised when I sounded like a normal, casual person.

"Why?" She asked, a little breathless.

"Because," I said quickly, lapsing into the awkwardness that I felt sometimes when I had to explain myself to her. "Because, I don't…I don't want to know anymore."

She opened her mouth in protest, "Let me finish," I interrupted. She closed her mouth and waited. "I want to be…as normal as I can be. Normal people don't have access to vigilante werewolves, and families of vampires and siblings that have premonitions. I don't want to know anymore. I don't want to worry about things that I can't control. I'm tired Bella, I'm tired of trying to piece together things and anticipate and dread. I don't want to do it anymore. I really don't have any control of these things anymore." I was starting to sound slightly incoherent. I blamed it on the late hour and the three glasses of wine I drank.

"But what if something happens?" She asked, her deep eyes wide with questioning and concern.

"Then we'll deal with it." I said confidently, "We'll deal with it like we deal with anything else. We just won't have the leisure of knowing until the last moment. That's the way it should be. That's the way it is with most other people. Does that make any sense to you?"

"Yes, it does."

This was going to be the most difficult part, "Bella, I…I don't know how much time I have. Whereas before, I did, I don't know anymore. I could have another sixty years or another sixty days. I don't want to spend that time, however long it is, worrying about how and when it's going to end." I said quietly, so she wouldn't hear the fear in my voice, I wasn't supposed to be the fearful one of this equation. Bella had enough to worry about, for the last two years, she had been tormented and frightened by the things that my life had brought into hers and her family's, and yet, here she was, as loving and immovable as she always had been. I wouldn't let her know how panicked I was.

"I just want to live my life and be with you, and that's it." I said staring up at her boldly, even though I nearly had tears in my eyes. I hoped she was hearing what I was saying to her.

"Okay." She said firmly, nodding her head. She was so strong, I was the weak one. I was talking about our future together and nearly blubbering like an idiot. She said one word and I knew she would follow me anywhere. I admired her so much.

"Thank you."

She smiled warmly at me and placed her hand against my face, hypnosis ensued as I leaned into it, so grateful for her and her touch, I loved her more than I could even comprehend. "Do you want to go to bed now?" She whispered tiredly.

"Yes, very much."

"Let's go."

I climbed in beside her and shut off the light. She rolled over next to me, resting her head against my heart, where it belonged, and she hitched a leg over mine. I never realized how sleeping with Bella, actually sleeping with her was like being in bed with a spider monkey. No matter what point in the night it was, she always had some part of herself touching me, like I was some kind of magnet to her. I loved it.

It wouldn't take me long to fall asleep, with the wine, the birthday sex, the phone calls, the discussion, and the pure exhaustion of being a college student in the last months of their freshman year, I was nearly out cold in seconds.

"Edward?" Her sweet voice asked dreamily right before I hit darkness.

"What love?" I muttered, my eyes still shut.

"Let's skip school tomorrow." She suggested.

Fantastic, the best plan we had all night, "You read my mind."


	42. Chapter 42 Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**God, I love a good Edward and Bella fight. I'm not really sure who wins this one though. Please review! Thanks again for taking the time to read. You guys are awesome.**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 42**

**Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown**

The sun was so bright all day that it had become necessary for me to wear my sunglasses the entire time I was out of doors. Spring was coming, as spring like as you could get in Alaska. I was seeing more green and more moving water. The air wasn't as harsh; everything had a clean, pleasant, living scent to it. It was turning out to be a pretty good day, we had about a month left of school, Bella couldn't wait for it to be over. I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to change her major next year. The whole social work thing didn't seem to be doing anything positive for her. I didn't think it was her calling straight from the beginning, but she was so stubborn, she needed to find out for herself. Far be it for her to listen to anything I had to say about the matter. Oh well. She had been very quiet lately, as if she were preoccupied with something. She seemed nervous, but not unhappy; I wondered if she had been talking to Alice. I was trying not to let it bother me, but seeing her in such a state without knowing what she was thinking, as always was a very frustrating thing for me to endure.

I arrived home after Bella on Thursdays, when I pulled into the garage, it was after five o'clock. I revved the engine once and shut her down, grabbed my bag and headed inside. It didn't seem any different than any other afternoon I got home late. Bella stood in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, a vision in puma sneakers and an army green cadet hat. I wouldn't expect anything less, nor would I want anything less or more for that matter.

"Hey," she said smiling brightly at me.

"Hello love," I said hooking an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. "Unlike yourself, I'm going to compliment you on your hat." I said flicking the bill.

"Unlike you, I actually look good in a hat." She teased.

"I look good in anything," I teased back, "especially hats."

"Can't argue with you there." She muttered staring down at the cutting board, "Except in the area of head gear." She giggled, blushing slightly.

"How long do we have until dinner?" I asked, changing the subject.

"About forty five minutes." She replied, not looking up.

"I'm going to get some studying done, that is, unless you need my help of course."

"No, that's fine; I think I'm all set here."

"You're sure?" She nodded at me and with that, I headed for the den to hopefully get some work done.

Bella was very quiet during dinner, too quiet. It was maddening not knowing what she was thinking. I didn't want to pry, so I tried to wait her out. We finished eating, did the dishes, fed the cat, and settled onto the couch, both of us with books in hand. This semester really was a killer. Maybe it just seemed that way to me because I never had to expend such an effort to maintain my concentration for so many years. I looked up at Bella, she had her knees tucked into her chest, an enormous hard cover sociology book propped against them and was frowning. Her eyebrows knit in frustration and she tapped her pen against her chin nervously. Suddenly, she let out an aggravated sigh and slammed the book shut.

I opened my mouth to speak, when she interrupted me. "Edward, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Finally, I thought to myself, I was glad she made the first move; it meant she trusted me, but I already knew that. "What is it, love?" I asked gently, shutting my book and laying it on the arm of the couch.

She looked hesitant, maybe she didn't want my full attention, perhaps she wanted to have a casual conversation. Too late now, as I sat with my hands folded patiently watching her. She tapped her chin with her pen and bit her lip, she was anxious about something. She unfolded her legs and crossed them in front of her and stared at me, searching for words.

"Bella, whatever it is, you can tell me." I pressed.

"No, I know that," she said shaking her head, "I'm just trying to find the best way to say this."

She was beginning to worry me, she stood up and began to pace around the room. She stood against the wall and wrapped her arms around her waist in a protective hug. Oh my God, was she leaving me? I swallowed hard waiting for her to speak; my heart rate sped up slightly. Dammit, why couldn't she just spit it out?

"I'm l…" No, oh please, no. "I'm late."

Late? She was late? What did that mean? Late for what? I felt my eyes dart from side to side as I tried to comprehend what she had just said. I didn't understand at first and then it occurred to me, I really was an idiot, she meant that her period was late.

"Edward!" She said in an irritated tone. "Say something." I hadn't realized that I had been silent for so long.

I glanced up to her, my mouth slightly open, all the color and levity from earlier had drained from her face. I cleared my throat nervously and rubbed the back of my neck. "Hhh, how late are you?" I stammered.

"About a week." She replied, "give or take a day, I lost track for a little while."

How irresponsible of her, a person's whose responsibility and maturity I admired couldn't even keep track of her cycle? "Don't you women keep calendars for that sort of thing?" I blurted out loudly, my voice cracking. I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Oh sure, it's the calendar I have hanging up in the bathroom with a giant red dot on it." She growled sarcastically, "grow up Edward women don't do that anymore!"

I stood up from the couch, slightly infuriated with her tone with me, "how am I supposed to know these things Bella? The only women I'm used to associating with don't exactly apply to this particular situation!"

"You're right," she said lowering her voice, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I said lowering my voice as well and sitting back down on the couch. "I just, need to think for a second." I dropped my head close to my knees and rubbed my temples. What else could possibly be thrown at us? What other stresses had fate planned out for us? The past year was one migraine after another. I was amused by the fact that I could actually relate to statements like that nowadays. I gave a bitter laugh and shook my head. A child? How could I be a parent? We should have been more careful, we should have taken the proper precautions that humans need to take when they're in a physical relationship. How foolish of me, how unforgivably arrogant of us.

Then something happened, I actually started to look on the bright side of this. Financially and lifestyle wise, we were much better off than most young parents. I could be someone's father; I'd be the best parent that I could be, what other choice did I have? And then, another feeling; joy, I actually was feeling joyful and optimistic. Granted, the timing of this left something to be desired, but it would be a nice change to _bring _life into this world rather than to take it away. I felt a smile spreading across my face as I pictured what our child might look like. I hoped it got most of Bella's looks, maybe my eyes, I couldn't picture anyone else having Bella's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I hoped it would have my aptitude for learning and just a touch of the defiance she and I _both_ shared.

I felt my smile getting wider at the thought of another person in our lives, the hope and love was starting to well up in my chest as I thought my heart would burst, and then…

"So what are we going to do about this?" Bella asked solemnly, interrupting my reverie and placing her hand on my leg.

"What do you mean?" I asked intensely locking eyes with her.

"Edward, you don't think we could seriously consider this do you?" She asked gently, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"Absolutely." I affirmed quickly. "Why?" She was silent, but her expression said a thousand words. She didn't want it. She didn't want to be the mother of my child. My heart sank and broke into a million sharp, jagged pieces. I nearly choked out loud.

"I don't think I'm ready to be a parent." She said as gently as she could, but underneath her soothing demeanor was an edge to her voice that indicated to me that she had been thinking about this for days and she had made up her mind.

I should have been more sensible. I should have listened to her and spoken calmly, and told her that I would do whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, but I didn't. I instead allowed the last three hundred and sixty five days of crap and stress and anger and emotion flood into my response to this one moment. "No." I said starting off calmly, "No, you're ready."

I saw Bella's cheeks flush for a brief second and she took a deep breath, "excuse me?" she asked tersely. And here we go.

"Did I stutter?"

"No, I heard what you said; I just wanted to give you an opportunity to change your answer."

"Why would I do that?" I asked in a very patronizing voice.

"Because you're wrong." She said, her voice shaking slightly, not in fear, but in anger.

"I find that very hard to believe." I said with a smirk.

"Really?" She said standing up, crossing her arms across her chest. "I don't know who the hell you think you are Edward Cullen, but last time I checked, I was still in charge of what I did with my own body."

"Not when half of it belongs to me." I said crossly, standing up now as well.

That did it, her face turned purple and she gave me such a look of disgust and resentment that I could have turned to stone. "NOTHING OF MINE BELONGS TO YOU!" She shouted, "Not my thoughts or my emotions or my free will, you hear me? Nothing Edward! Where the hell do you get off saying something like that to me? This is the twenty first century and I'll be damned if I spend it walking around barefoot and pregnant because you're a hundred years old and are suddenly ready to be a parent."

"You know damn well what I meant Isabella! You may be carrying _my_ child," I said pointing hard against my chest, "and you just automatically decide what's best without even talking to me about it?"

"Edward we could talk about this until the polar ice caps melt, but the fact of the matter remains that if one of us is not ready for this responsibility then it shouldn't happen."

"Why? Why are you so opposed to this? We can certainly afford it, we can stop school for awhile, we already have a house,"

"It takes more than money and a house to be a good parent," said the experienced voice from a child of divorce.

"Don't put words into my mouth." I growled, "I know that it takes a lot more than that to be a fit parent, but it makes things a whole lot easier, I don't understand why…"

"Because I'm nineteen years old!" She interrupted. "I don't want to be tied down to a baby; I'm in no position to be someone's mother at this point. I'd feel like…like white trash or something who in their right mind has a baby when they're nineteen?!" She was throwing her hands around erratically as she spoke. I wanted to grab her and stop all of the motion; I was agitated enough as it was without offensive hand gestures to add to the mix.

"My mother had me when she was nineteen." I said tightly.

"In 1901! This is 2009; I have so much more to do before I settle down like that." She spat.

"Please tell me you are not afraid to the commitment." I said angrily, making fists at my sides. What was I doing? I wanted to marry this girl, I wanted her to have my children eventually, was it really all that unreasonable to wait? No, of course it wasn't, I should have applauded her for recognizing that she didn't want to be a parent right now, there were too many unwanted children in the world as it was, I'd be damned if mine was one of them.

"No, Edward, it's not that, I just…"

"What then? What will you do? Put it up for adoption, and spend your life wondering if anyone will ever make our child their own?" I felt like I would get sick when she didn't answer me right away. For someone whose thoughts I couldn't read, I could hear her loud and clear without her having to say a word. "You're going to…kill our child?" I asked desperately, my voice cracking. She winced at my harsh words.

"Stop calling it that! It's just a fetus, it's not a child! I don't even know if I am yet." She said, her voice raising an octave. I was hurting her, making her feel guilty, I was breaking her resolve.

"I can't believe you would seriously consider this an option." My voice was trembling now; angry tears welled up in my eyes for a moment. How could she do this to me? Didn't she understand how extraordinary the circumstances were here? First, a vampire falling in love with a human and not killing them, then that vampire receiving the same love back from the human, being separated from each other, reuniting with no love lost, vampire turning into human and two humans conceiving a child together? The fact that we were even having this discussion was a miracle; at least it was to me. And now, she wanted to destroy that miracle? Stomp the life out of an innocent that was partially made by me?

"I am not ready for this Edward!" She pleaded, her voice rising into a shrill unpleasant cry.

Again I should have stopped there, but I'd had it. I had never thought it possible for me to be this angry with Bella, I was seeing red, she was being selfish, and I was going to let her know it.

"You should have thought of that before you decided have sex with me on every single solitary surface of the entire state of Alaska then." I said cruelly, staring right through her.

"What?" She whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around herself.

"Don't you remember?" I laughed bitterly. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it open. I knew exactly what I was doing; I was doing the most hurtful thing I could think to do to Isabella Swan, the only girl I had ever loved. I scrolled through the past text messages she had sent me, feeling pathetic that I had saved all of them. I cleared my throat and began to read aloud, "Edward, car, Edward, lunchroom, Edward, bathroom," I smirked at that one; we had a good time that day.

I glanced up at Bella she was shaking her head from side to side, tears were starting to roll down her cheeks, "stop it," she whispered.

"Edward," I continued more loudly, "garage, Edward, locker room, shower," my voice was continuing to rise as I scrolled through, making a mockery of the love we had for one another, I stepped toward her, shouting now, "Edward, skip class, EDWARD! EDWARD! EDWARD!"

"Stop it!" She screamed at me.

That was enough, I had gotten my point across, I threw my phone against the wall and it shattered into a hundred pieces. She cried out loud as it crashed. "Why are you doing this to me?" She whispered, staring at me with wild betrayal in her eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about; those were all of your messages." I said innocently, smiling at her.

She narrowed her eyes at me and stuck her chin out defiantly. Most women would have been cowering in a corner by now, or calling the cops or grabbing a kitchen knife if their spouse had ever behaved in such a manner toward them. Not Bella though, her face was calm, but her eyes were wild and fiery, "fuck you Edward." She spat.

I chuckled bitterly and as light as a feather, laid a hand on her face, "Bella, that's what got you into trouble in the first place." The final mockery of our love, using a gesture that we used to express such fondness and tenderness for one another, I used as another weapon to patronize her with.

She was speechless; I dropped my hand from her face and smirked darkly at her. Then, she took a step forward and with a huge amount of force that I had never believed Bella capable of, she hauled off, and slapped me across the face.

My vision was blurry for a moment, I didn't see that coming. Another advantage I would have had if I could read her mind, I could have ducked. My face burned where she hit me, I swear she drew blood; I touched the tip of my tongue to the corner of my mouth to see if she had. To my surprise, I was clean. I looked up at Bella and her face was red and tear stained, she still looked angry and appalled at what had just taken place.

"Fine," I said lowly. Without looking at her again and without any explanation, I strode out of the room and grabbed my keys. I heard her following behind me, almost jogging to keep up with my long, furious strides.

She managed to touch my forearm and say my name before I was out the door; I whipped around and stared her down, pulling my arm roughly away from her. She remained stoic, but said nothing and I walked out to the garage, slamming the door behind me, I heard something fall off the wall and shatter on the floor. Let her clean it up.

I got in my car and revved the engine and spun the tires as the garage door opened, and then shot out into the night like a bat out of Hell. No pun intended. I shoved some loud alternative CD into the stereo and just drove. I had no idea where I was going or when I would be back, I just needed to leave.

I must have left her in a quite a state, I don't think she had ever seen me act like that. She didn't understand how cruel and nasty I could be when pushed. She was used to my soft voice, and my never ending patience with most things. My anger from the adrenaline rush was starting to taper off as I thought of her at home, crying, sweeping up glass, she had probably cut herself by now and my stomach churned at the thought of not being there to bandage her arm.

For the thirtieth time in the last hour I asked myself again, how could she do this to me? What if this was our only chance to have a child? What if something happened to me in the near future? Didn't she understand that I felt like I was living on borrowed time with everything that had been going on around us? I wanted to leave a piece of myself with her somehow if I wasn't long for this world. I needed some evidence in the world that proved I was ultimately, a good person. Was she so blind that she couldn't see that? Tears welled up in my eyes and my shoulders began to shake. I had to pull over or else I was going to get myself killed.

I pulled over in an abandoned lot and rested my head against the steering wheel. I felt like I was about to have one of those anxiety attacks that I had warned Bella about. I felt like I was losing my mind. I put my hand on my cheek where she had hit me, it was still blazing hot, I think it was starting to swell slightly. She may not have drawn blood, but there would definitely be a bruise there tomorrow. I was still irate with her, irate and overwhelmed. I needed to go somewhere. If I went to a bar, I would probably get into a fight and get myself arrested, the way I was feeling right now. Going to Denali was out of the question, as was walking around in the woods, because I could very easily get killed doing that this time of night. Then I thought of the gym, it was late enough where no one would be there, I could be alone and I could get some of my pent up frustration out. I started the car up again and headed over.

When I got to the gym, it was dark, not a soul in the lot. I pulled out my student id and slid it through the entry slot. The door buzzed and popped open. I kept a locker there, so I was able to change clothes and grab my Mp3 player. I lifted weights for awhile and beat on the punching bag for what seemed like hours. Then I decided to do what I always used to do to calm my frazzled nerves; run. I climbed up on the treadmill and immediately got into it, starting my speed at around 6.5 miles per hour. The music pumped loudly into my ears, I tried to shut out everything that had happened and focus on the run and the sound of my heart thumping rhythmically and the blood rushing through my ears.

I didn't think about her, or anything she had said, or anything she had done to me. I pressed the buttons on the treadmill and was running at 8.5 miles an hour, trying to forget the sound of her voice. I shut my eyes and concentrated, but then, her voice came back to me, it was her concerned voice, and I could vividly picture the expression that matched it. I opened my eyes to remove the image and she was standing in front of me. Damn it, she found me, she must have been some kind of tracker in a past life.

"Edward, please come home." Her voice was tired, her eyes were puffy and sure enough, she had a bandage over one of her hands. So she had cut herself cleaning up the mess I left for her, I should have stayed.

"No." I said firmly. Looking away from her and up at the ceiling.

"Edward, please." She urged.

"No." I repeated.

She shot out her hand and reached for the emergency stop button on the treadmill. I caught her wrist mid reach, holding it gently, but firmly. "Don't." I said, "I'm going too fast and libel to get injured." I warned between heavy breaths.

She retracted her hand and continued to watch me, and then when I wasn't looking, she reached over and slapped the button. The treadmill immediately stopped without warning, and as promised, I tripped, twisting my ankle. I heard a sickening POP sound which was promptly followed by a shooting pain.

She gasped and covered her mouth; clearly she didn't believe me when I told her I would get hurt.

"Jesus Christ Bella! First you slap me and now you nearly break my ankle?! What the hell is the matter with you?!"

"I'm sorry." She whispered, there was something else in her voice though, amusement? Did she think this was funny?

I rolled my eyes at her, irritated, and tried to stand, letting a snarl rip from my throat as the pain continued to shoot up my leg. I literally couldn't walk, she had maimed me. She hurried over to my side and tried to act as a crutch, I squirmed away from her like a stubborn child. "Just leave me alone!" I snapped at her. I tried to step forward and almost fell; I began to limp shamefully away from my love.

Again, she hurried to my side, and when I tried to protest, she tightened her grip around me. She felt like iron as she held fast to my waist. "Just, let me help you!" She shouted at me impatiently.

I sighed angrily, and she took my arm and slid it around her neck, I submitted. She helped me over to a nearby bench and helped me into a sitting position.

"Let me see," she said unlacing my sneaker and taking it off. She squatted down in front of me and gingerly rested my sweaty foot on her knee. She rolled down my sock and lightly touched my ankle. She was crazy to think that she wouldn't be a good mother, I thought sadly as I watched her.

My ankle was already swelling up like a grapefruit and throbbing painfully. I winced as she touched it, examining it.

"I think you need to go to the emergency room. This is getting really swollen." She spoke matter of factly, as if world war three hadn't taken place in our living room two hours ago.

"Bella, please, no," I grumbled.

"Come on, we're going."

"I think you're overreacting."

"Okay then," she said placing my foot on the ground, "try and walk." She ordered.

I narrowed my eyes at her in annoyance and prepared to stand, confident that I would be able to do so easily. The moment I tried to put weight on my blasted ankle, I felt like someone was hitting it with a sledgehammer. She was right, I couldn't walk, normally. We had to go to the emergency room.

She grabbed my stuff and locked up my locker and helped me out to the car. We drove in silence the full half hour it took to get to the hospital.


	43. Chapter 43 Reconciliation

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 43**

**Reconciliation**

We sat in the emergency room, my leg up on a chair, my face swollen, and tiny Bella, next to me with her arms angrily folded across her chest. I must have looked like a victim of domestic abuse.

"If we don't get to see a nurse soon I'm going to kill someone." She muttered.

"Easy there slugger, you've done enough damage for one night." I snapped giving her a sideward glance.

She glanced back over at me, unamused, I must have looked ridiculous; my gym shorts on, my hair damp with sweat, one shoe off, a red hand print on my face. Indeed, I was quite the catch.

"How could you say those things to me Edward?" She asked suddenly, turning to face me.

I sat in my chair, slumped down and wondered how I could have said those things to her. Those terrible, heartless, unfiltered words of frustration that I said to the only person in the world that meant everything to me. Isabella Swan, the only person whose favor I craved the most.

"I said them out of anger and frustration." I answered her.

"I get upset about things too, but at least I can control my mouth." She said hurtfully. I had really screwed up royally this time. I turned my body slightly so that I could look at her.

"My choice of words were not, as tactful as they could have been and for that I apologize. But I don't think you fully understand how this is affecting me." I said, the more civilized, gentler Edward that Bella deserved shining through slightly.

"Then just tell me."

"What's the point?" I asked turning away from her again. "You've made your decision. I'm not going to try to stop you."

"Because," she said with tenderness, laying a hand on my thigh, "I want to know." Her eyes looked glassy and sore from crying. I tried to hold on to the animosity that I had felt toward her, and I could not. Knowing that the pain that still stood in her beautiful eyes was because of me I turned back to her and all of the turbulence I was feeling melted away. I couldn't stay angry with her, I loved her too much.

"Bella, don't you think that the fact that we have actually gotten to this point, where we can even have a discussion or an argument like this is something of a miracle?" I asked, now looking a little more lovingly at her. She said nothing. "What are the odds that you and I could even fathom having a physical relationship, what are the odds that you and I could have a child together?"

She looked down at her lap and bit her lip. I took her hand in mine, "I'm sorry that I reacted so…flippantly, but, I just feel as if, Bella, what if this is our only chance?" I was disturbed by the lack of confidence that now hung in my voice.

"It won't be," she answered quickly, rubbing her thumb nervously against the scar on my hand.

"How can you be sure of that?" I whispered, dropping my eyes to the floor.

"It's not possible." She said in an almost cheerful tone.

"Why is that?" I asked tiredly.

"Because you're right, the fact that we are having this discussion is a miracle. The odds of us even finding each other, it's just, I think it's just some kind of weird twist of fate. Therefore, I believe the day will come for us when everything is perfectly in place, and then it will be time."

"You sound very sure of yourself."

"I am. Trust me, this isn't our only chance."

How I wanted to believe her. I wanted to look into her eyes and see my future with her as bright and as hopeful as she seemed to believe it was going to be.

She stared intently at me and lifted my hand to her face, pressing her warm cheek against it. "You _will_ make me a mother someday," she whispered in a very surreal tone. It was eerie the way she said it, it almost sounded like a premonition, I felt a chill go up my back.

"What if I already have?' I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Do you want me to find out while we're here?" She asked gently.

I nodded slowly, swallowing down the lump that was steadily crawling up my throat.

"Okay," she said, kissing my forehead softly. She stood and went up to the desk and spoke with the receptionist. I still couldn't bear the thought of her being pregnant and not following through with her term. But, she was right, I didn't own her, she didn't belong to me, and she seemed very certain that we would have another chance at parenthood. What more could I do than believe her? I didn't want to fight with her any more.

Shortly after she went to the desk, we were both called in; a nurse came and helped me down the hallway to x-ray, and a second nurse led Bella away from me toward the lab.

They took x-ray upon x-ray of my ankle from every angle possible and found that all I had was a severe sprain. I could have told them that, but I needed pain medication, and there was no way I was getting my hands on that without a prescription, at least not this far away from Carlisle. How ironic for me to require pain medication at this point in my life. They placed me in outpatient in a hospital bed while they filled my vicodan prescription and I waited patiently for Bella. I secretly was wishing that if she was indeed pregnant that having the piece of paper in front of her stating so would make her change her mind. I tapped my fingers nervously against my stomach while I waited. The nurse with my meds was back before Bella was. I quickly popped the two pills in my mouth and swallowed down a mouthful of water, maybe they would help me relax a little.

I waited in that stagnant little room for twenty minutes, the pills were starting to kick in, I felt pleasantly sleepy and heavy. Bella startled me when she approached me, placing a hand on my forearm, interrupting my drug induced stupor.

"Hey," she said, "I got the test done."

It took me a second to focus on her; the nurse must have given me a loading dose of the medication, because I didn't think vicodan was supposed to hit me this hard. "And?" I asked.

She shook her head, "that fight was over nothing, because the test was negative." Was that disappointment I saw on her face or was it the drugs?

"Are you just saying that to spare my feelings?" I asked. She shook her head again and handed me the test results.

"See for yourself." She said quietly.

I took the paper from her and examined it, squinting my eyes slightly to focus. Clear as day, the test was negative. That whole fight really was for nothing.

"I wouldn't say it was for nothing," I started, "I got some pretty sweet drugs out of the deal." I joked, trying to keep things light.

It worked, a tiny grin spread across Bella's face and I knew the fight was over. She laughed softly and climbed into the hospital bed next to me, putting her head against my chest. I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head, glad to have her scent near me again.

"I'm sorry I slapped you and broke your ankle." She muttered sheepishly into my ear.

"Luckily, it's not broken, so you're forgiven. Besides, I got what I deserved." I whispered, kissing her head again.

"I know you did." She replied.

I chuckled softly, shaking the bed slightly. "Isabella Swan, such a force to be reckoned with." I murmured into her hair. "I don't think I could live without you."

Bella and I drove back to the gym to pick up my car. I really shouldn't have been driving, but it was only a short distance to get back home, and I was not about to leave my car in a parking lot overnight. We went right home and to bed, not that it would take much for me to fall asleep.

I don't know how long I had been sleeping, when I awoke with a start, a painful start, Bella kicked me in the ankle in her sleep. A shooting pain went up my leg as my eyes snapped open. This girl would be the death of me tonight. I sat up and turned and looked in her direction. She was dreaming, her hair was matted and tangled against her face, the sheet practically knotted around her thigh. She whimpered helplessly in her sleep and gripped her pillow tightly, muttering my name over and over again followed by words of protest.

I hesitated for a moment, not knowing if it would be a good idea to wake her. Maybe she could ride it out, I thought to myself. But, to my dismay, her subconscious panic was getting worse. She muttered more loudly and thrashed around violently.

"Bella," I said softly, placing a hand on her now trembling shoulder. "Bella," I said more loudly. She began to cry and I couldn't bear to watch her anymore.

I moved closer to her, I could feel the heat she was throwing coming off of the mattress, it had to be at least a ten degree temperature difference from my side of the bed to hers. I threw my arms around the front of her chest and pulled her tight against me.

"Bella, wake up." I said in a firm but soothing voice against her face.

I felt her clammy hand close over my arm, "Edward?" she whispered.

"I'm here love." I answered, still holding fast to her.

She stopped thrashing and I felt her body go limp against mine and then she started to cry. Her hair was plastered against her face and I carefully started to smooth it back out of her eyes and let her fall to pieces.

"What happened?" I murmured once she had begun to calm down.

"I couldn't get to you. I could see you, but I couldn't get to you. No matter what I did, and then, you died."

"It was just a dream." I said trying to no make a big deal about it. "People dream about things that they fear, it means nothing." I whispered, kissing her damp hair.

"What do you dream about?" She asked, sniffling a little and holding my arms tightly.

"Similar things I think," I replied.

"Why don't you ever tell me about them?"

"You don't need to see what I've seen. It would upset you." I said softly to calm her.

"Does it upset you?"

"Very much, but luckily those dreams don't come often."

"How come I never hear you?" She asked, confused.

"I'm a very sound sleeper." I replied lightly, kissing her hair again.

"Can you turn on the lamp?" She requested.

"Are you still frightened?"

"No, I just want to see you."

I let go of her for a moment, reluctantly, and reached over to the bedside stand and clicked on the light. She turned around on her side to face me. The way she looked at me at that moment, it seemed like she was looking at me for the first time. She placed the back of her hand against my cheek and traced a line down to my jaw with her knuckles. She smiled sadly at me and turned her head away, as if she were about to start crying again. I gathered her up again and pulled her against my chest, resting my chin on top of her head.

"If I could make these dreams stop, I would." I assured her, trying to protect the only part of her I couldn't; her mind.

"For some reason, I don't think that dream will be coming back." She whispered.

"That's a good thing then." I said still holding her.

"I hope it is." She murmured against me. It was difficult to perceive her tone, but for some reason, she didn't sound convinced.


	44. Chapter 44 Last Day

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 44**

**Last Day**

Finally, we had reached the end of the term. By this time tomorrow, school would be over. Bella and I had not decided as to when we would be going back to Forks, but it certainly would not be right away once school had ended. A few of my classes had already finished a day or so ago, but I still had at least three today, including my last exam in my main culinary class with Chef Scott.

Today we had to present the dish we had created in our practical class while in lecture we had our final written test. I wasn't concerned about the written test, come to think of it; I wasn't concerned about the presentation of my dish either. Nothing really fazed me today. I was just glad to be finishing up for the year. My ankle was almost completely healed after a couple of weeks, but I still had a lot of weakness in it, no matter though, I wasn't planning on doing any running or strenuous activity anyways.

It was three o'clock when I entered practical. I only had one more hour left.

"Good afternoon everyone, please take your seats at your workstation." Chef Scott politely requested.

I sat on my stool at my table and watched him carefully as he spoke. For a spring day in Alaska, it was actually quite warm today. Most everyone had t-shirts and light jackets on. I noticed that Chef was wearing a very high collared under armour shirt on under his jacket, which struck me as strange. Wasn't he warm as well? Come to think of it, he had been very overdressed lately. I wondered why. Why did I even care? I let the thought leave my head as quickly as it had come and continued to half listen to him. He prattled on about what he expected from us, blah, blah, blah, something about we could have up to half an hour extra time if we needed it, but no more than that, blah, blah, blah. There was no way I would be staying past four, which began to irritate me because Chef was going on still and cutting into my cooking time. I was not Rachel Ray and this was no thirty minute meal. I needed at least forty five minutes.

Finally, Chef's speech came to an end; I unlocked my locker and started getting out my utensils. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I quickly pressed a button on the side to silence it. I had gotten a new phone to replace the one I had shattered in all that mess we got into weeks ago and I actually preferred the new one to the old. As inconspicuously as I could, I glanced down at the phone, new text message from Bella. A small smile crossed my face as I pressed the button to read it. She was probably having a harder time than I was waiting for class to end, if I disliked school at this point, she loathed it. _Are you going to get out in time?_ I quickly typed back, _soon._ She wrote back saying that she was going to get out a little late, and I typed back, _I'll take care of dinner, just come home when you're done. _I shut the phone and slipped it back in my pocket and started to organize my things on the counter.

The prepping of my dish took much less time than I thought it would. I decided on the sautéed chicken with garlic, prosciutto, and golden beets in olive oil tossed with pasta and parmesan cheese. I had been making it over and over again at home, fine tuning it and I had finally mastered it. For awhile, Bella and I were eating it once a week, like clockwork for a month. She never complained once. Once I had prepped everything, my water was starting to boil; I salted the water, dropped the pasta and timed it. Meanwhile I prepared the chicken and added in the shredded beets at the last moment. I managed to have a few extra moments to prepare a side salad and also enough time to clean my work space, which counted for twenty percent of our grade. By four o'clock, I was completely finished.

Chef Scott saw me standing alongside my table, which was the signal that we were done. A few other neighboring students had just finished as well, and I had to wait as he slowly, tortuously made his way around the room, making out a grading sheet for each person. To pass the time, I tuned into his thoughts as he graded everyone. The majority of everyone was being given Bs and B+, a few got A's and very few got below a C. It seemed like my graduating class would be a fairly competent bunch. I had made a few acquaintances throughout the year; after all, I was a mainly solitary person. However, it was good to have a few people to pal around with when Bella didn't feel like going out. I shot a glance over at one of the guys I knew; Scott had just given him a D. That's unfortunate, I thought to myself, I'll have to take him out for a beer sometime before he goes back home for break.

Chef Scott made his way over to me and smiled politely. "Mr. Cullen," if I were a dog, my hackles would have stood up at the sound of his voice.

"Yes Chef?' I replied smoothly.

He studied my serious expression and formal stance, he smiled a little wider, "why so sullen, Mr. Cullen?"

Really? Did he really just say that? Did he really just make a rhyme using my surname? God I couldn't stand him. I hoped that he wouldn't be back next year. I realized he was waiting for me to reply to his ridiculous, humorless joke. With the patience of what I considered saintly, I gave him a congenial smile and said calmly, "just anxious to get home Chef."

He chuckled softly and looked down at my grading sheet and started to write something, "can't say that I blame you, if I had a girl like that waiting for me, I'd want to get home to her too." It sounded innocent and complimentary enough, but there was something about his tone that was suggestive that made me want to snap his neck.

"Actually Chef, I meant back home to my family in Washington. My girlfriend and I are no longer together." I don't know what made me say it, but I suddenly felt an intense need to protect her from him. I didn't even say her name, I didn't even think it, I wanted her as far out of his memory as I could make it humanly possible.

He stopped whatever he was writing and stared down at the paper. He glanced up at me, "I'm sorry to hear that, Edward. She seemed very nice." You don't even know her I thought to myself resentfully; I hated fake, pretentious people.

"It wasn't working out."

"That's how it goes sometimes." He said casually, looking back down and continuing to write.

He asked me about the dish, and went about his culinary duties. He tried it, asked about the ingredients, and I explained everything clearly and accurately to him, I even made a joke or two, brimming with charisma. I didn't really care what my grade was, I scanned his thoughts as he tasted it and commented and wrote up my grade. I listened for anything that seemed abnormal for a culinary teacher to be thinking. I found absolutely nothing out of the ordinary but I did, however, get an A; As if that would surprise me.

"Alright Edward, you're all set. You'll get your final grade in the mail, should we mail it back home or at your Alaska address?"

"Home would be fine, thank you." I replied with a smile.

"Excellent, well, have a good summer, we'll see you next year." He said clapping me on the shoulder.

"Thank you Chef, you do the same."

He nodded politely, smiling warmly at me. I grabbed my bag and my jacket and headed out at ten past four. I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders, school was officially over, and I didn't have to see Chef Scott for at least another three months. As I got to the threshold of the classroom, I put my sunglasses on and hoisted my bag on my shoulder and then Chef Scott called behind me.

"Mr. Cullen, your home address is in Forks, Washington, is that correct?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned slowly, "yes, that's correct." I answered.

"Hm, awful rainy out there isn't it?" He asked, smiling dumbly at me.

"Ever been there?" I asked firmly, staring at him.

"Once or twice."

I gave my head a firm nod and began to walk away, feeling the burden settle itself back down onto my shoulders.


	45. Chapter 45 Last Night

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 45**

**Last Night**

I popped out of my seat as soon as the professor dismissed us, booking it out of that classroom so fast my sneakers practically left skid marks on the floor. Danielle hurried out behind me.

"I'm sorry" I said when she had caught up to me in the hallway, "I just, couldn't sit there any longer; I'm so glad it's over."

"That's okay, I know how you feel. I can't wait to go home." She replied.

"When are you leaving?" I asked as we walked toward the parking lot.

"Tomorrow afternoon. I've got to finish packing tonight. When are you going home?"

"I'm not sure," I said fishing around in my bag for my keys, "Edward and I haven't discussed it yet, but we're in no rush I don't think."

"Well, why would you be? You guys have your own house and all that privacy. It'll probably seem weird to go back to living under your parent's roof." She said leaning up against her car.

"Yeah, I'm definitely not looking forward to having a curfew and living under lock and key. And I'm so used to him being there with me all of the time; I don't think I want it to go back to how it was when we were in high school." I confessed in a disappointed tone.

"Why don't you guys get an apartment together or something in Forks?" She suggested.

"For three months?"

"Well, that might not fly with a private owner, but maybe you could find an apartment complex that does leasing on a month by month basis."

"I don't think Edward would go for that." I said doubtfully.

"Why not?"

"Well, he's kind of…spoiled. I don't know if he would want to live in such a temporary residence." I said sheepishly.

Danielle started to laugh her lovely, hearty, contagious laugh. I was going to miss her over the summer. Maybe I could visit her or vice versa.

"I can't wait to get home to my dogs and my bed and normal food. None of this microwaveable garbage and fast food. I might actually be able to save up some money this summer if I can get my old job back." Danielle went on, changing the subject.

"I can't wait to see my dad and my friend Jacob. I suppose seeing Edward's family will be nice too." I smiled to myself as I thought of all the stupid things Alice would make me do over the summer and all the smarmy comments I got to look forward to hearing from Emmett. I thought about Jacob and the countless number of times he would fly off the handle this summer about me being with Edward and all of the awkward moments I would have with Charlie that were strangely comforting to me. I was anxious to see my family, but not to be separated from my domestic life with Edward.

"Well Creepy, I need to get going if I'm going to make my flight tomorrow with all of my stuff in hand," Danielle started.

"Oh my God, it's five thirty! How'd it get so late?" I asked looking at my watch.

"Sociology exam," she informed me, rolling her eyes.

"Right," I said rocking back on my heels. Now came the quiet between us as we prepared to say goodbye for the summer. I stared down at my sneakers shyly and then looked up at my new friend, "Danielle, I'm really going to miss you this summer."

"I'm going to miss you too Bella. We should try to get together at least once this summer. I'll start saving up; maybe I'll be able to visit you."

"Or I could come visit you; I could pawn the money off of Charlie. He'd probably be happy to see me hanging out with someone other than the Cullens."

We both laughed a little, and I went over to Danielle and wrapped my arms around her broad shoulders. "Have a safe flight. Call me when you arrive okay?"

"Okay mom," she teased, embracing me back. "You make sure you do the same when you get home too, alright?"

"It's a deal." I answered.

By the time I got home it was six o'clock, I felt bad getting home so late from school, but I knew Edward wouldn't mind. I expected to pull into the garage and immediately smell food cooking. Something involving garlic, because everything Edward cooked had piles of garlic in it. How ironic, the ex-vampire loving garlic so much. But when I arrived, I didn't smell anything. I shrugged my shoulders and walked into the house. The kitchen was spotlessly clean, the coffee pot washed and all the rings on the counter that I was notorious for leaving wiped away. There wasn't a dish in the sink or a pot on the stove, the whole place looked like an ad for Mr. Clean.

I heard music playing lowly in the living room, was that, the Postal Service? No, it was Iron and Wine's remake of their song. Topaz sat in the corner near his dish crunching happily on his dry food. I hung up my coat and bag and set my keys down. Edward appeared in the doorway leading into the living room looking as handsome as the day was long.

"Hello love," he said warmly, brimming with smiles and ease.

"Oh, hello," I said grinning and walking toward him.

He was leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe in different clothes from this morning. He looked like he had just showered because his hair was damp and spiky and he smelled incredible. He looked down at me playfully as I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed the bottom of his jaw sweetly.

"What's for dinner?" I asked.

"Is that it? Am I just a house wife to you?" He asked innocently.

"Of course not, you're also my whore." I teased.

He snorted a laugh, "well in that case," he hoisted me up on his hip and turned and brought me into the living room setting me down on the floor. "You know that's fantastic language for a lady." He murmured into my ear, smiling and kissing my cheek.

"Who told you I was a lady?" I called as he disappeared into the dining room for a moment.

"Happy last day of school," he said returning with two glasses of merlot, handing one to me.

"Ugh, I know." I said gratefully accepting his offering, "happy last day to you as well." I said raising my glass and clinking it with his.

Apparently, Edward and I were becoming quite the pair of wine connoisseurs; we had gotten into the habit of sharing a different bottle every Friday night. Either we were becoming quite the pair of connoisseurs or quite the pair of drunks, I hadn't decided yet. But Edward struck me as too dignified to classify as a drunk, and let's face it; I was too serious to be thrown into that category.

"I ordered Thai food. It should be here in a few minutes." He said, swallowing a sip of his wine.

"Really?" I asked happily. We rarely ordered out, but Thai food was becoming a favorite of ours.

He flashed me his crooked smile and said smoothly, "neither one of us should have to cook tonight." He held his hand out to me and nudged his head toward the couch. I eagerly grabbed it and followed him over to sit down. He sat and threw his feet up onto the enormous ottoman, leaned back and sighed contently as he slipped his arm around me. I let my head fall back on his shoulder and took a sip of my drink. It felt cool in the room, even though it was May; there was still a damp chill in the air. I glanced over at the electric fireplace longingly. I made the decision in my mind and reached for the remote and hit the button, there was a whooshing sound and within seconds, there was a roaring fire going.

"That's perfect." Edward said shutting his eyes for a moment. He turned his head in my direction and gazed at me intently with his liquid green eyes.

"What?" I asked smirking a little bit.

"Nothing, just looking at you."

"Why?"

"Because I can, you're lovely." He said dreamily.

"Edward," I said blushing and averting my eyes away from him shyly.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, "I forgot, you can't take a compliment." He looked away from me, still smiling to himself.

"Neither can you," I joked looking over at him. He smiled more widely and peered up at me through his thick, black eyelashes.

"Well, then I take it back, you're hideous, repulsive actually."

"That's more like it."

"So what do you want to do tonight? We can do anything you want." He said cheerfully sipping the last of his wine and setting down his glass.

I thought about that for a minute? What did I want to do tonight? I'm sure there would be a lot going on at all the local campus hang outs and bars, but really, all I wanted to do was stay home and be with Edward alone.

"Would you mind terribly if we just stayed home together, please?" I asked him, falling into the trance of his presence near me.

"Nothing would make me happier love." He said softly, touching my face lightly with his fingertips. I felt chills of happiness dance up my spine. It didn't matter what form he was in or how long I knew him, Edward was always able to send my heart racing and keep my mind enthralled with him.

"You know that's very distracting." I said smiling as he moved his hand down my neck.

"I'm sorry, were you writing an essay in your head or composing some kind of important document?" He asked with his crooked smile. He was throwing the charm on mighty thick tonight, it was fantastic.

My head swam slightly from the wine and the lack of food in my stomach. "Not that I know of." I answered breathlessly; shutting my eyes as he slowly ran a finger across my collar bone.

"Then let me distract you," he whispered, lazily dropping his eyes across my face.

"Okay." I agreed dreamily.

He smiled and leaned in and kissed the edge of my jaw slowly, moving his mouth over my neck and resting his face against the indent in my clavicle. He kissed me sweetly and said almost so quietly that I couldn't hear him, "you don't know how much I love you, Bella Swan."

Just when I was about to respond to him, the moment was ruined by my stomach growling loudly. I quickly clapped my hands over it in embarrassment. Edward chuckled softly against my shoulder, his warm breath tickling against my skin. He kissed me again and sat up straight. "And that is exactly why." He said, still laughing quietly.

"Sorry," I said, blushing slightly. "I haven't eaten anything since noon."

"Food should be here soon." He informed me. "Actually," he said becoming very still for a moment, I saw his eyes look around and he turned to the front door, "it's here now." Sure enough, the doorbell rang.

We finished the bottle of wine and glutted ourselves on Thai food. You would have never believed that we were only two people with the amount of food he had ordered, and what was even more disturbing was that we finished most of it.

We sat side by side on the couch, drinking the last of the wine, our stocking feet up on the coffee table. The fire was still burning steadily and the stereo played a mixed CD lowly in the background.

"I love eating junk food with you." I said happily, turning to him.

"Me too love." He replied with a smile.

"Gym tomorrow?" I asked.

I saw a look of concern cross his face for a split second and then he quickly said, "Sure."

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No love," he said turning to me, "everything's fine."

"When do you want to go back to Forks?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not sure." He said furrowing his brow.

"It's going to be strange not living together," I said uneasily.

"I know." He agreed.

"Maybe we don't have to be separated." I started, wringing my hands in my lap nervously.

"What are you suggesting?" He asked, looking over at me.

"Well, I mean, what if we get…an apartment together, like a studio or something. Something small since it'll only be for a couple months."

"That's quite an undertaking for such a temporary residence." He said seriously. I knew he wouldn't go for this.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I said, defeated.

He turned to me and took my hands in his, "Bella, it'll only be for a few months; I'll still see you every day, who knows? Charlie might even let you stay over on the weekends or let me stay over. It'll be alright."

"I know, but it won't be the same." I sounded like a whining child.

Edward looked sad for a moment, "I know it won't be the same. I don't like the idea of going back to us living separately either. We don't really have much of a choice though."

"Well," I said, "we did it for Christmas break, I suppose another month or two is tolerable."

"We'll have a home closer to our families soon enough love. We'll just take it one day at a time."

I nodded my head and rolled my eyes at him. "Fine, fine, one day at a time." I thought about the idea of going back to Forks. It seemed so foreign to me. I liked Forks, I missed our family, I missed the familiarity of La Push, and the woods Edward and I spent time in, but I felt like my life was different now. Everything about it, my life was here in Alaska, with my human Edward, it was like all the time we had spent in Washington was a dream. I had grown so used to him now, his warm skin, his green eyes, his ridiculous eating habits and caffeine addiction. I was finding it harder and harder to remember him as he was when I first met him; his gold eyes and glacial body, the fact that he was in actuality the biggest threat in creation to me. I don't think I could go back to not being able to touch him or he being able to touch me.

"Tell me about the first time we met." I said suddenly.

"What?" He laughed, "Why?"

"I just want to remember." I said turning my shoulder to the back of the couch and focusing all of my attention on him.

"Bella, the first time we met, the first time I saw you wasn't exactly the most heartwarming moment if you recall."

"I know, but tell me anyways."

"No. I don't want to talk about that." He said shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Well, then tell me a different story." I just wanted to hear his voice and his point of view.

He rested his chin in his hand and looked at me questioningly, his silence was deafening. He studied me as if I were some great enigma to him and smiled at me. "Shortly after you arrived in Forks, I struggled a lot about what I should do. The only thing that was drawing me to you was your scent." He explained, trying to be very pc. "Once I got your scent, then your thoughts and the fact that I couldn't hear them started to become a challenge to distract me. I made countless efforts to hear what you were thinking, and every time I failed I became frustrated and even more drawn to you."

"Yes?" I said sitting up straighter in interest.

Edward seemed a little taken aback by my curiosity and chuckled nervously, "well…then I decided again that I was leaving, for good, that I would do the right thing and leave Forks and come back once you had graduated and gone off to college somewhere. But, I didn't want to leave without seeing you again."

"So?" I pressed.

"So, I found myself in your bedroom, watching you sleep. I watched you for hours, just listening, and watching. I wanted to see what books you read, and what kind of music you listened to, but I knew I shouldn't because I didn't want to become even more attached to you than I had already become, somehow. I got up to leave, and then you spoke, in your sleep that is."

"What did I say?" I asked dreamily, knowing that it could have been any number of things.

He dropped his eyes down to the floor for a moment and then looked up at me shyly through his dark eyelashes, "you said, 'please don't leave Edward' and then you said that you loved me."

I smiled warmly at him, he had mentioned this to me once before, but to see him say it again; to reminisce about it, he looked like the proudest person in the world. Like me loving him was some kind of enormous honor, when really, I felt that his love for me was an honor.

"Kind of a creepy story isn't it?" He joked lightly.

"Why would you say that?" I asked, alarmed.

"Bella, what if you woke up and saw me? Come on, your lab partner in your bedroom watching you? And a vampire none the less, that seems a bit stalkerish doesn't it?"

"I think it's romantic."

"You've got a seriously flawed idea of what romance is."

"From the day I met you, I never felt like I was alone." I confessed, "Even if it did take you a month to finally talk to me and act like a human being."

He laughed gently and brushed a piece of hair out of my face, "I do apologize for that. It's very awkward being a teenager." He let his hand trail down my face to my shoulder, "you never were alone you know, since the first day I saw you."

"I know." I said calmly, smiling at him.


	46. Chapter 46 Run

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 46**

**Run**

It felt wonderful being beside Edward on the couch, we just sat affectionately side by side, talking about Forks and our families, it felt like we had all the time in the world. There was an ease and appreciation radiating off of him as the hours went by, an ease that I had not seen in his pretty green eyes for months. There wasn't a moment that passed where some part of him was touching me in some loving way. I almost didn't want to go back home to Forks, I couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him, but not in the needy, childish way I had once before when we had first met. He was my family now, he was my support system and I was his, we were home to each other and it became more certain to me that the bond between us was extraordinary. Edward was my sanctuary and I was his.

The time was nearing ten o'clock and I was beginning to get sleepy, Edward was lying back against the couch and I had my back against him and his arms around me. I listened to his slow breaths and I knew he was starting to doze off, I wasn't far behind him. My eyelids grew heavy and my head jerked as I tried to stay awake, but I couldn't fight it any longer.

Something woke me up. Something unsettling, like I was being watched, I opened my eyes and saw Topaz sitting on the arm of the couch, staring at me. I gasped out loud, startled by his presence, then I felt that Edward was behind me, no longer holding me, and no longer in a reclined position.

"Topaz," I heard him whisper uncertainly.

Topaz stared at us, and then without warning, I heard a low rumble in his throat followed by a growl and a long hiss. His tail puffed up to twice its' size and his hackles stood up on end. I sat up quickly, frightened by him, he glanced at me one more time, his pupils wide with intuition and then Topaz leapt off the couch and ran away.

"Bella, get up," Edward said quickly, his voice rising in alarm.

I jumped off of him and whirled around, he was already off the couch. "What's the matter?!" I hissed at him.

"We need to get out of here, now." He said moving across the room quickly and putting his shoes on.

"What?!" I cried, "What's going on?"

"No time to explain," he said throwing my jacket at me. "We're running out of time."

"Edward! What is going on?" I asked shrilly.

He stopped what he was doing and strode over to me, he placed his hands on either side of my face and spoke rapidly, his face was fearful and distraught. "Bella, we need to leave because someone is coming, someone is almost here. Someone who wants to hurt me. I'm not sure exactly why, but, they are nearly here, and we need to get away. Get your coat and your shoes on; we don't have much time left."

My chest tightened in fear, why hadn't Alice called? Surely she would have seen this. I hastily threw on my sneakers and coat, trying to think as I did so. I hopped around the room wedging my untied sneaker onto my foot, nearly falling over in the process. What could I do? How could I prepare for this? I needed some kind of control, I needed to think, I needed…the syringe. The syringe that Alice had given me months ago, in case I needed it she had said, this must be what she meant. I knew exactly where it was, I had to grab it before it was too late.

"Bella, come on!" Edward urged, drawing out the words slightly for emphasis.

"Hold on, I need to get something upstairs!" I blurted out. Edward was incredulous, "it's important." I pleaded. He gestured at me to go.

I flew up the stairs, and skidded down the hallway into the bedroom. I had hidden the syringe at the bottom of a trunk that contained some old photo albums I had brought with me. I rifled through it, finally reaching the bottom and finding the syringe. It was still freezing to the touch and still had its' mesmerizing opal quality to it. I would need to keep it on my person somehow without it being detected. I looked down at my feet and wished I had a pair of boots. Then I remembered that I had a pair of doc martins that I wore in the cold weather. I ripped my sneakers off and threw the boots on, lacing them up furiously. I took the needle off the syringe and stuffed it into my pocket and slipped the syringe into my boot, tightening the laces to the point of cutting off my circulation.

I headed back out the bedroom door, passing the bed on the way. On top of the mattress, lay Edward's cell phone. It was on vibrate, 20 missed calls, Alice. So she did try to call. I grabbed the phone and shut it off and shoved it into my other boot. It couldn't hurt to have right? I ran back down the stairs, Edward waited nervously for me; I'd never seen him so unbalanced.

We dashed toward the kitchen and the garage door, then Edward stopped, "they're here. They're blocking the garage," he whispered. He took a deep breath and turned to me, "we need to go on foot."

I said nothing to him; I just nodded as bravely as I could.

He placed his hands on either side of my shoulders and said very seriously, staring hard at me, "Bella, whatever you do, stay ahead of me. Stay in my view at all times, and if something happens to me, you need to get away. You need to run as fast as you can and get away and get to Denali. Do you understand?" He was barely holding himself together, his hands trembled slightly against my shoulders and his beautiful eyes were brimming with tears.

Whoever was coming for Edward, intended to do something permanent and damaging to him, and he knew it. I felt a knot in my throat as I croaked out helplessly, "Edward…" tears were starting to well up in my eyes, as the thought sunk in that I was going to lose him.

"Bella, please…" he said his voice cracking horribly as he stared at me, "it is imperative that you listen to me now, they want me, they don't want you." His voice cracked again pathetically, "you're going to be safe." Tears started to fall from his eyes, "just please, promise me that you'll keep it that way."

I rushed into his arms and clung to him, he hugged me tightly against him and kissed the top of my head, "you are the only thing that has been right in all I've done. You are the good part of me, the brightest, and most meaningful part, please don't let anything happen to that." He choked, "you have made my life worthwhile."

I wanted to tell him so many things, I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him, admired him, respected him. I needed him, I needed him to know that he was my heartbeat; he was my light and reason. But we had run out of time, now the thoughts I knew he had been hearing were becoming more pronounced, in the form of a knock on our front door. My blood ran cold, I felt like I would vomit from anxiety, but I couldn't let Edward see that. He was falling apart at the seams, if we didn't move both of us would soon be a tearful pile on the floor.

I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let me, finally, he let me go and stared at me sadly. "We should go." I said my voice trembling, fresh tears in my eyes. Edward gave me one more meaningful glance and then all of the color drained from his face and his eyes grew dark, all emotion from his expression gone. He was trying to focus; he nodded slowly at me and then placed his hand on the small of my back, and pushed me toward the back door.

"We'll need to move toward the woods, over the river and down the trail, if we follow it long enough it'll lead us out to a main road." He said briefing me methodically.

I nodded in agreement at him, the queasy, nauseous feeling was creeping its' way into my throat and I swallowed it down. This was going to be extremely dangerous; Alaska in the springtime was no nature walk. Animals were coming out of hibernation, things were thawing, and everything was damp and cold even though the air was mild. But, given our other options, we really had no other option.

The knocking at the front door became louder and we hurried onto the back porch quietly. When we got outside, the air had a sting in it from the rawness all around us. I shuddered and Edward rubbed my arm briskly. He climbed up onto the railing and lapsed into a crouch that I had seen him do a hundred times, for a brief moment, he looked like the predator he used to be as opposed to the prey he was becoming. He carefully leapt down off the railing onto the ground landing silently and beckoned for me to follow. I tried to mimic his crouch the best I could and followed suit as I jumped down off the porch landing with a quiet thud and a grunt.

He smiled crookedly at me and then became very serious again. He was very still and appeared to be listening to something.

"Where are they?" I whispered.

"Close behind, they stopped trying at the door. Someone's in the house now. Come on." He gestured for me to move, "stay ahead of me."

"But how will I know…" I started.

"I will be fine Bella; my concern right now is getting you out of here."

I started to jog ahead of him and he was right at my heels, muttering directions to me as to where to go next. For now, my movements were careful and controlled. Once we got to the middle of the yard, I heard the back door of the house open and Edward's pace pick up.

"Bella move! Run!" he shouted at me and I burst into a sprint.

The cold air snapped and bit at my face, my chest heaved as I ran faster, fresh tears blurring my vision and burning my eyes. My hair whipped behind me and the sound of my heavy, clumsy footfalls pounded in my ears. Edward's footsteps echoed behind mine, but were distinctively softer and more regulated, maybe it was the boots I was wearing.

We finally reached the edge of the forest and I saw lights reflecting off the tree line behind us. Whoever was after us was getting closer, having the unfair advantage of illumination. Edward and I were side by side now, entering the dark woods. We did what we could to dodge rocks and fallen trees, jumping simultaneously like two track runners over all of the undergrowth of the Alaskan wilderness. Tree branches and evergreen caught on my clothes and sliced at my face; I put my head down and threw my arms in front of me to protect myself while Edward continued to run seemingly unaffected by the snags the unfriendly branches greeted him with.

Then our desperate situation threw us another curveball, Edward's ankle that he had been nursing for a month gave out and a sickening fear overcame me as I realized that there was no hope now. He had gone to jump over a tree trunk and landed the wrong way and fell to the ground.

"Edward!" I whispered, hurrying over to him.

He held his knee against his chest, squeezing his leg so tightly that I thought it would fall off. "It's alright," he assured, "I'm fine, keep going, I'll catch up."

"I'm not leaving you here." I said tightly, placing my hands on his leg.

"You need to." He said lowly, placing emphasis on the word need.

"No," I said defiantly, "not without you." I could hear footsteps somewhere around us, but couldn't pinpoint where.

"Bella," he whispered, trying to stand up, "I can't go with you this time." He said trying to steady his shaking voice.

"Let me help you." I demanded, putting my hand out to help him, "I'm stronger than you think."

And then, surprisingly, Edward Cullen, my sworn and loyal protector for so long, put his hand out to let me help him up. Just as he did that, that was when the shot coming in from the left hit him in the ankle.

Edward growled loudly and let his head fall back, seething from the pain.

I gasped out loud and Edward shouted at me, "get out of here now Bella!"

I wanted to stay, but how could I be any help to him dead? I hesitantly got up and backed away.

"Go now! Hurry!"

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I turned and ran, leaving him there. I ran as fast as I could, I would run until my chest exploded, I would run all the way to Denali and I would find him again and I would save him. This wasn't the end, it couldn't be the end, we had overcome so much, how could this be the end? He was my rock, my life, and I was his, we had a future together, we were supposed to live forever together or grow old together, this was not supposed to happen, this was not my destiny, it was not his. If anything, I was the one who always needed rescuing, not Edward. I laughed bitterly to myself as I thought of all the instances in which I had cheated death because of him; my own personal bodyguard. I would find him again, and I would save him, I wasn't going to let all of his efforts and sacrifices and fights to keep me safe be in vain. I owed him so much more than I could give back to him, but I would try.

I was starting to reach a clearing, I could hear rustling around me, probably just an animal, right? Anxiety and fear crept over me, it was so dark, and the forest floor was littered with roots and stones and broken things, my legs were getting heavy, my throat hurt. I was beginning to panic because I was starting to get lost in these woods, the clearing had disappeared and I was confused. I felt like Alice in Wonderland when she trying to get home and the path kept disappearing. I refocused and found my way back to the clearing, I had nearly reached it when I heard a shot and then a stabbing feeling in my hip, I cried out loud and gripped my side, gritting my teeth in anger.

I felt my side, and found no blood, I had assumed that I would either be bleeding everywhere or my hip was fractured, neither option seemed to be the case. I fell to the ground as a woozy feeling came over me, the few sounds that I could hear in the forest were becoming slower and monotone, my head was swimming. I crawled on the forest floor, dragging myself toward the clearing up ahead, everything felt so dense; I realized I had been drugged.

No, I wasn't going to die here, in the dampness and the nothingness. I wasn't going to die without him by my side. I uttered some kind of sound of resistance as I pulled myself along the ground. I was mostly using my arms now, my legs felt like a burden. I dug my fingers into the dirt and dragged myself along toward the clearing, when my hand caught on something leather; a shoe, I was at somebody's feet. I looked up slowly; trying to match up a face, all I saw was a man, with indistinct features as my consciousness left me.

**Hope everyone continuing to read is enjoying and aren't too upset about the cliffhanger to review! Thanks again!**


	47. Chapter 47 The Death of Edward Cullen

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**A thousand apologies for last week's cliffhanger, I posted three more chapters to make up for it. Please read and review them! I read over this one a dozen times, worried that my explanation of what is happening to Edward isn't clear enough. The idea makes sense in my head, and I hope it sounds sensible on paper! Thanks again for all of your support and great comments, it means so much to me.**

**Chapter 47**

**The Death of Edward Cullen**

When I finally came to, I didn't recognize where I was. I knew I was no longer in the woods, I was indoors, somewhere, and I was seated upright. I looked around me trying to figure out my surroundings. It was very dark wherever I was, but not as dark as it had been when I was in the woods. There was dim yellow light on either side of the cement walls, several primitive sconces lined the long hallway that was before me. Everything seemed somewhat familiar to me even though I had no recollection of ever being in this place.

A dull pain ebbed in my hip and I remembered getting shot. I went to run my hand over the wound, but to my dismay, my hands were bound. The panic hadn't taken me yet. I twisted my hands around in a motion that would put a contortionist to shame. They weren't tied too tightly, I wasn't the primary focus. The crude nylon rope burned my skin as I loosened it and finally I was free. I groggily stood and felt my legs buckle underneath me and fell to the floor. I let out an irritated grunt as I propped myself up on the cold cement. What was going on and where was I? Edward, where was Edward? My mind began to clear; this room was familiar, familiar because I had seen it before in my head. A cold sweat came over me as I realized what was going on. This was the setting for the nightmare I had been struggling with for the last six months; the one where Edward died. I rose from the ground, still groggy, still uncoordinated, still hazy and started to make my way down the hallway, I leaned against the wall for support, looking like some addict on a bender. I ran my hands against the wall, my fingernails dragging and catching on the rough cement structure. In my dream, the hallway was very long, but eventually came to an end, at the end of it was some kind of office or room, sealed with a plate glass window or a two way mirror, I would find him there.

As I continued, the drugs began to wear off, my vision became less blurry, my thoughts more lucid, soon I had all of my awareness and determination back. I began to run down the hallway, the sound of my heavy boots echoing against the bare walls. As I had predicted, at the end of the room was a large window. Flashes from my dream came to me in rapid succession, Edward, trapped, shadowy men around him, the color leaving his face, my heart thumped wildly in my chest at my horrified anticipation. Then, I heard his voice, it was slow and slurred every so often, but it was his voice, it was Edward.

"I told you, we broke up, there's no reason for her to be here. Just let her go. What good does it do her to be here?" Who was he speaking to I wondered as I slowed my pace as the window came closer. I slid along with my back flush to the wall and ducked down and sat underneath the window.

"Honestly, I could care less if you're together or broken up or whatever. She was with you this evening Mr. Cullen and now, she must be dealt with as well." A very congenial voice said.

"Bella has nothing to do with any of this. She's probably still unconscious, you could dump her off somewhere and she'd stagger off without a clue." I heard Edward say in his most casual tone, he was trying so hard to protect me.

"I highly doubt that Mr. Cullen. I also highly doubt that she remains unconscious, in fact, I'm sure she's much closer than you think." The voice continued.

"Let her go."

"Let's get started." The voice said ignoring the rising fury I could hear developing in Edward's voice, I heard footsteps moving lightly around the room.

"Get Bella out of here and I'll do whatever you want," he bargained.

"I'm not going to require your free will, you arrogant little prick," the voice snapped at Edward. "You can't do anything to me. I know exactly what you are, and I know exactly what happened to you over the winter. You are not a threat to anyone anymore, Mr. Cullen. Not since you became human." I gasped as I heard the words, someone did know, I started to slowly recognize the voice, it was Gordon Scott. I could just imagine the look of defiance that was surely making its' way across Edward's face as the man spoke. Even in the face of the most dangerous and desperate situation, Edward would never dare come across as fearful; he only saved that emotion for when he was with me.

"Juno's wonderful isn't she? Amazing talent, able to heal animals, humans and vampires, quite a gift really. A gift that only got stronger when_ I_ changed her. Her blood was amazing, I can still taste it. I'm sure you know the feeling Mr. Cullen, with your little Bella? You must have slipped up a few times with her am I right? I've seen the way you look at her, there's more than just affection in your stare." Scott instigated.

I waited for the screaming, the threats, the curses that Edward would let spew from his mouth if anyone spoke to him like that, but they never came, he was playing his role very carefully. "You're absolutely right, there is more," he replied in a surly tone.

"You're a very composed individual, Edward."

"It comes with age."

"That's a crock." Scott responded lightly, I heard him shuffling something around, "it comes from outside influences. I'm sure you'd like to rip my head off right now and spit down my neck hole. You wanted to since the day I took over that class, ironically though, now you can't. You're as much an animal now as you were before you changed back. Clearly I can see that. You see, I know exactly how you feel because I feel the same way. I may be human now, my body has changed, my lifespan has shortened, but my old mind is still intact, I'm still a predator and so are you."

"We're not the same." Edward said flatly.

"That's right, we're not, you changed for love. I changed because I'm selfish. I wanted to be human again, and I wanted her blood. I didn't want her at all. The fact that she could even change me back was a miracle, and then when I found out about my blood, that was just the icing on the cake."

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked, now sounding genuinely confused.

"Surely you've noticed your unique talent since your change Mr. Cullen? I mean, even I noticed, your blood can heal. So can mine actually, so can anyone's who's been involved with a healer. She passes her power on to whomever she helps, which is why, if you've done your homework, a healer's life is so drastically shortened. Which brings us to why you are here, I'm sure you're curious."

"Not particularly." Edward said crassly.

"You're trying my patience now." Scott said with a dark edge to his voice, I heard his footsteps become rapid and a thud. I slowly rose to my position on the floor and peered through the window, trying to stay out of view.

Scott had Edward seated in a wooden armchair, a rope around his chest held him to the back of the chair, his ankles were tied individually to each leg and each wrist was tied, palm up on the arm of the chair. He stood over him with his fist against Edward's throat and Edward just stared up at him with contempt.

Two other men that I did not recognize were in the room with Scott, they stood at attention, waiting for his next move. He gestured for them to approach and roughly rolled the sleeve up on Edward's shirt, exposing his bicep and brachial vein "Mr. Cullen is about to go down in history as the world's most devoted blood donor." He growled as he straightened Edward's arm and tied a rubber tourniquet over his elbow. He walked around to the other side of the chair and repeated the process with his other arm. Edward winced as he tightened the tourniquet. "Mr. Cullen, these are my friends. They work for a very well known, very powerful pharmaceutical company that has just come across a very bio friendly, very organic product that can heal wounds and extend a person's lifespan; your blood. I'd offer them mine, but, I'm not as much as a humanitarian as you are." He said roughly clapping Edward on the shoulder.

The two men now approached Edward with a cart strewn with medical supplies. They began to prep his arms with surgical scrubs and alcohol.

"This is a fine way to honor the woman you loved." Edward said sardonically to Scott.

"And who might that be?" Scott said smiling. Edward just stared at him angrily, "Juno? You think I loved her? I told you, I wanted some very specific things from that woman, which I got in addition to a few other things. When I ever discovered that she changed you from a vampire into a human, I had to figure that the same thing would happen to your blood that it did with mine when she changed me. I had always hoped that I would live long enough to come across another person healed by her, because if I did, I vowed that I would find the unlucky person, get the blood, and use it for my own gain. Juno has served her purpose, and now she's dead." He said lightly, smiling. "You should have seen how she tried to protect you and Bella, it was pathetic really, she was truly a human in a vampire's body. A waste, good for only one thing, and then her temper got the worst of her and those stupid wolves took care of the rest. I couldn't have planned it better myself, it was like a Christmas gift."

So he had used Juno, all of that love and devotion and hurt she felt for Gordon Scott, and he used her. He never cared about her and all she wanted to do was take care of him and be loved by him. I felt desperately sad for her and promised myself that if we got out of this, I would do right by her memory back home in Forks. The two men were putting catheters in each of Edward's arms, the needles were huge, they must have been twelve gauge and I watched as his body tensed up from the discomfort of it.

Blood started to flow rapidly out of Edward and into the plastic sterile collection bag at the end of the IV line; they were going to bleed him to death. I had to get to him somehow. I reached into my boot and pulled out the cell phone, I scrolled through the menu frantically and found the GPS setting, I switched it on, so now the phone could be traced and found. I heard movement in the room and scrolled through the menu again till I found Edward's contact list. There was only one name I wanted to find now and it was way at the bottom of the list, Tanya. I clicked on Tanya's name and hastily typed out a text, one word in capital letters, HELP. I pushed the send button and snapped the phone shut. I peeked through the window again, Edward's color was getting pallid already, he wasn't trying to fight at all, he just sat in the chair and seemed to be accepting what was happening to him. I couldn't bear to see it; he was going to die in there if he didn't do something, if _I_ didn't do something.

Tears welled up in my eyes, how could I get to him? I didn't see a door anywhere, maybe I didn't need to get specifically to him, maybe he needed to know I was still _trying_ to get to him. I stood up and ran down the hall, the hall that went on forever, I ran back to where I had woken up and found the metal chair I had been sitting in. I grabbed it and ran down the hallway and threw it up against the window, Edward's head snapped up, he couldn't see me, it was a two way mirror, which meant it was practically indestructible. The chair ricocheted off the glass I picked it up and again and heaved it full force at the glass, it shook but didn't break, I couldn't even put a crack in it. I started to cry in frustration, in desperation and then I got angry, I screamed and took the chair and rammed it against the glass over and over again. The window shook ferociously, but did not crumble. Blood was continuing to pour out of Edward's veins and he was clearly getting weaker, I was running out of time. I was not a religious person, but I prayed that Tanya had gotten my message.

Scott turned his head toward the glass and smiled wickedly, his steel gray eyes cold and hard, I felt like he could see right through the heavy window pane and was staring at me, I shuddered as a chill came over me. I saw his lips move but heard no words, within moments he had disappeared. I continued with my efforts to break through the glass to get to Edward, and each time made no headway, I was losing hope. I started to cry and banged on the glass with my fists, my voice was hoarse, I couldn't form words.

Someone pinned my arms behind me and I became wild with fury, I pushed off the wall with my feet, throwing my shoulders into the hard body behind me. "Don't touch me! You'll never get away with this!" I screamed in a voice I couldn't even recognize. "Edward! Edward wake up!"

"You're wasting your time, he can't hear you, he'll be unconscious in a moment." Scott's voice purred in my ear.

"He knows I'm here." I growled.

"It doesn't matter now does it? He's quite incapacitated at the moment and I can only see him taking a turn for the worse."

I thrashed and threw myself against him, but he was too strong for me. My arms remained pinned and he pushed me up against the glass. "You watch him now. Watch him die. This is how your precious vampire boyfriend's victims died before he so nobly went 'vegetarian', amazing how love and infatuation can blind you." He hissed in my ear.

Edward's head was slumping against his chest, the only thing that was holding him in the chair was the rope, the two men approached him, the collection bags were full, and they were pulling his catheters. His arms looked purple and bruised from the stress of the needle size and the rapid blood loss.

"Edward!" I screamed, "Edward no!!" I heard Scott laugh quietly behind me and loosen his grips on my arms.

He heard me that time, he glanced up at the window and I saw him mouth my name, but no sound came. The two men cut his ropes and he fell from his chair onto the floor like a ragdoll. One of them poked him with his toe and they went to leave the room.

Scott let go of me completely, I couldn't even turn to fight against him. What was the point? What would it accomplish? My eyes were glued to my broken Edward on the floor in some dark place, dying and all because he wanted to be human for me. I felt like it was my fault. He would have been better off if he had never laid eyes on me, I thought miserably. He'd be alive now, he'd be alive and immortal and beautiful and strong. Scott was gone, the men were gone, all that remained was me and Edward, separated by a pane of glass that I couldn't break, I wouldn't even be able to say goodbye to him.

I began to cry and crumbled down onto the floor, I didn't care if I never got out of here. I didn't care if I died and was never heard from again, all of my hopes and dreams were expiring on the other side of the wall. I pressed my hand against the concrete and felt like I could feel his slow, thready heartbeat through the wall.

"Bella?" I thought I was hallucinating, his voice was just a hoarse whisper, any other person wouldn't have heard it, but it was my lifeline so it was louder than thunder to me.

"I'm here." I shouted weakly so he could hear me.

"Are you, are you alright?"

"No." I sobbed.

"Please don't cry love," he whispered, his voice shaking.

"Please don't die." I pleaded loudly.

He chuckled softly, "I don't think I have much say in the matter,"

I couldn't bring myself to respond.

"I can't hear you…" he whispered.

"I'm still here," I called, my voice rising.

"I'm cold."

"I told you to wear layers, even though it's the spring," I called back to him, barely holding myself together.

He chuckled again, I could hear his breathing changing as he tried to speak, "you would want me to admit that you're right on my deathbed," he teased weakly.

"Pompous ass," I said through tears.

"I love you so much," his voice was choked and tearful.

"I love you too,"

His breathing stopped abruptly, I wrapped my arms around my knees and sank onto the floor. The sobs that tore through me were painful, I felt like I was dying too. I hoped I was right.


	48. Chapter 48 Lazarus

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 48**

**Lazarus**

"Bella! Bella! What happened? Where's Edward?" I felt a familiar coolness on my face and hands and heard a husky voice in my ear.

I opened my eyes and saw Tanya beside me, trying to pull whatever lucid phrase she could from me. It took me a moment to register what was happening around me; she stared questioningly at me with her mesmerizing gold eyes. "Edward's dead," I sobbed shrilly.

"What?" She asked, her eyes wide with fear.

I stood up and grabbed her shirt and pulled her to the window and pointed at his body piled on the floor in the empty room. Without even seeing her move, she took one fist and tapped the glass and it shattered everywhere. A new energy overcame me as I desperately scrambled up over the wall and through the now gaping window. I hadn't even noticed that I had sliced open my hands on the broken glass as I entered into the dank room and rushed over to him, Tanya followed close behind.

She grabbed the sides of his face roughly and shook him, "Edward! Edward! Edward Cullen open your eyes now! Look at me damn it!" Tanya's voice cracked as she said his name again. He didn't open his eyes, but we both heard a shallow, tiny breath, that seemed to snap Tanya out of her desperation.

"He's still alive, he still has a heartbeat, he has a severe arrhythmia, but it's there!"

I remembered the syringe in my boot, and how Alice said that I would know precisely when to use it. It occurred to me at that moment what was in the syringe, it was cold and silver and dangerous to humans, suddenly it all made sense. Alice had given me a syringe of venom to use on him. I pulled it out and screwed the needle back on and showed it to Tanya.

"Where did you get that?" She hissed, apparently, she knew what it was too.

"Alice." I answered. She stared at me skeptically, "I swear, it's from Alice," I assured her.

She nodded at me, "you need to get it right into his heart, that's the only way this will work, do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Stab him as hard as you can, even if you need to break his sternum," She implored.

"Okay." I said squeamishly raising the syringe over his chest. I uncapped the needle and poised the syringe directly over his heart and then slammed it into him. The impact of the needle and the negative pressure in his chest caused the plunger to drop drastically and I thought I heard a crunch when it made contact. I had broken something on him.

I didn't know what I had expected to happen at that moment. I certainly didn't expect him to hop up and recite the Declaration of Independence, but I thought something significant would happen. All I could think of was the scene in Pulp Fiction when Uma Thurman's character gets the epinephrine injection and wakes up gasping. Tanya and I watched carefully for several moments, and nothing happened. Then, we noticed Edward's chest moving up and down, first slowly, then at a normal pace and then it began heaving, like he was in pain. His eyes snapped open and his breaths were quick and shallow, like he was hyperventilating. He saw the empty syringe, still sticking in his chest and he pulled it out, looking at me horrified.

"What is happening?" He whispered between breaths.

"I don't know." I answered, sitting up on my knees close to him.

His chest pumped hard and he closed his eyes tightly, tears squeezing out from the corners, he lay down on his side and wrapped his arms around his chest. I felt like this was a prelude to something that was just about to become much more unpleasant.

Edward's back arched sharply almost into a letter C and he cried out in pain. His body became rigid and he resembled somebody about to have a seizure. He whimpered and more tears rolled out of his eyes, he clenched his jaw and began to shake and then it seemed like all of the pain was gone.

As I began to feel relieved for him, it seemed like Tanya grew tenser. "It's not working," she whispered.

"What?! What do we do?" I asked helplessly as Edward moaned beside me.

"I don't know." She said shaking her head slowly and biting her lip. Then she suddenly looked like she had an epiphany, "blood," she whispered, "he needs blood, he's lost too much, he needs more blood to carry the venom."

I stared at her in horror as I realized what needed to be done. I glanced over at Edward and he tried to sit up, "Tanya, don't…" he gasped lowly.

His reaction seemed to give her further clearance to speak; she looked at me and grabbed my arm, "he needs blood Bella, human blood."

"Tanya!" Edward snarled weakly from the floor, "Bella, don't, don't listen to her."

My eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. I made my decision and sprang up from where I was crouching on the floor and grabbed a shard of broken glass. Before anything else could be said, I pulled up my sleeve and did all I could to stop my hands from shaking. I glanced over at Tanya and she nodded at me, "you're safe, I won't let anything happen to you." Edward let out another growl in the corner.

I couldn't feel anything as I pulled the shard of glass along my pale skin, a thin red line appeared instantaneously and the blood began to drip down my arm onto my boots. I bent down beside Edward and he weakly pushed himself away from me.

"Don't do this," he said between gasps.

"Edward please!" I shouted at him, my voice trembled; the blood was making a spattering sound as it hit the ground, and I was starting to feel dizzy. "I won't spend the rest of my life without you." I whispered. Then, I scooted up next to him and grabbed his damp, sweaty head roughly, and pulled his face toward my wrist.

Tanya came up behind him and steadied him and he had no choice but to drink. His hands shook violently and were clammy with sweat and dried blood that had leaked from his catheter site. He slowly curled them around my arm and closed his eyes. I felt his mouth open slightly and within moments, I felt his tongue lapping at the wound. He groaned and I could feel his frail grip on my arm tighten and become more forceful, it was working, he was getting stronger. He sat up a little straighter and rose to his knees, his mouth moved hard against me and he groaned again with pleasure. I started to feel lightheaded, and as he grew stronger, I began growing weaker. I started to lose my balance and I felt him snake his arm around my waist and pull me forcefully against him. My wrist began to throb and my head grew heavy.

"Edward stop, Edward! You're hurting her; she's going to lose consciousness!" Tanya said firmly, Edward growled at her under his breath, like a dog protecting its' food. "Edward, enough!" Tanya shouted at him. I opened my mouth to speak when suddenly, he stopped and let go of me and I fell off of him.

"Bella, back away from him now!" Tanya warned and I stumbled away backwards on my knees until I was nearly flush with the wall. Immediately, she grabbed him roughly around the chest in an attempt to hold him still. I watched him squirm against her and heard her growl in response at him. He looked frenzied and wild for a moment and I knew for sure he was going to come after me. I held my wrist so tightly that I thought I would break it. Whatever remained of my blood squished out of the wound stubbornly and dripped down my elbow. Edward stared at the drip lines longingly for a brief second and then composed himself. He shrugged Tanya off of him, and became very still.

The way he was positioned, I couldn't see the front of him, just his profile, and I saw the side of his face as he swirled the last of my blood around in his mouth with his tongue savoring it. It was slow and sensuous, and horrific at the same time. It sent chills through me to watch him, the pleasure and gratification on his face was unmistakable. I was afraid of Edward Cullen for the first time in my life. He reached up and knotted his hand in his hair and groaned carnally, dropping his head back. It looked like he was coming down off of some kind of high, no, something more powerful than that; something orgasmic. I gasped out loud and he glanced over at me, as I gripped my wrist fearfully. The look of pleasure that had been on his face was replaced by shame. He dropped his eyes away from me and looked at the floor.

Then the pain came again, he clutched his stomach and fell back onto the floor, writhing. Tanya hurried over to me and held me, wrapping my wrist in a piece of cloth she had torn from her shirt. She pulled me as far back against the wall as she could, hovering over me in a crouch. The sounds that came from Edward were unbearable to hear as his transformation became more complete, Tanya clamped her hands over my ears, like a protective parent would. Edward would sit up and fall again over and over, clawing at the floor or the wall. I remembered the way my wrist had burned that night James had attacked me and how desperate I was to make the pain stop. That must have only been a fraction of what Edward was feeling right now. I wondered how long it would last.

Tanya whispered soothing things in my ears about how it was working and he'd be alright, but her voice was tempered with anxiety, I wondered if she was afraid that he would go after me, like I was. And then I wondered if he did, if she would be able to stop him.

It seemed like we had watched him for hours, and then finally it stopped and Edward was still. He was hunched over on his knees, when he had become quiet. I saw him breathe deeply, his back to me, and then spit out a stream of bloody saliva onto the floor. He rose slowly and turned to look at us. His shirt was torn and stained with blood, mine and his, his skin was white and smooth and I gasped out loud as the purple bruises on his arms began to fade before our eyes. Even though the bruises were gone his bare forearms were soiled with dried blood and hard looking. Everything about him was hard looking, Edward the human had died and Edward the vampire had risen again. He stared at me sadly as I peered up at him from the floor, his kind, warm green eyes were gone, and in their place were unnatural, liquid crimson ones. The expression on my face must have been startled or fearful because he whipped his head away from me and shut his eyes tightly.

"Who did this?" Tanya asked darkly, changing her focus now that we were all safe.

"Does it matter?" Edward whispered tightly, his voice now lacking all of the smooth, velvety texture it normally had.

"Gordon Scott did." I said firmly.

"Scott? Eleazar and Kate will find him; chances are they may have already." Tanya said standing up.

"Not if I find him first," Edward growled. He turned and walked toward the broken window, the shattered glass crunching under his feet. I stood up shakily and leaned against the wall, I didn't know what to say to him, I wondered if he would be the same ever again. As he walked toward the window, he reached out his hand and brushed his fingertips against my cheek when he passed me, still unable to look at me. "Stay here please," he whispered roughly, climbing out of the window, Tanya close behind.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as I watched him disappear down the hallway; his once familiar human movements had become abnormally infallible and feline. And then I burst into tears, overjoyed that he was alive, but distraught over what would happen next. I had done it, I had played my part and Edward was safe but I wondered what kind of toll this would take on him mentally. I heard nothing for several moments, I wondered what was happening. Suddenly I heard a bloodcurdling scream, a man's scream, I wondered if it was Gordon Scott and secretly hoped it was. Within moments, Tanya was beside me again.

"Edward wants me to take you home," she said in an irritated tone.

"Is he alright?" I asked weakly.

"As alright as Edward can be I suppose." She said rolling her eyes, "I can't believe that I'm being excluded from a fight, even after all I've done for him. I certainly hope he appreciates _you_ more than he does _me_." She grumbled, helping me up. Was this really happening? After all of the calamity and seriousness of what had just gone on, was she really complaining about him? Was she really trying to be funny?

"Well," she sighed, "can you walk?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused as she pulled me to my feet. She let go of my waist and I stumbled slightly, I must have looked pale as a ghost.

"No, better not chance it." She muttered, examining me and my awkward gait. Tanya wrapped her arm around me and eased me along, helping me out through the window and into the hallway. I heard another scream from somewhere in the distance. "Damn it," she grumbled, "he seriously owes me for this one."


	49. Chapter 49 Rock

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 49**

**Rock**

I couldn't remember how I had gotten there, but I somehow found myself in our bed, tucked in, with fresh clothes on. I wondered how many vampires had seen me in my underwear at this point. My head hurt, I was so woozy and thirsty, I felt like some kind of waif, I wondered if I needed to go to the hospital. I looked down at my wrist and saw that there was no mark left behind from the broken glass. I wondered if it had all been a dream and sat up to turn on the light. As I sat up I suddenly felt a cool hand on my shoulder push me back down against the mattress lightly.

"No you don't." A smooth, familiar voice purred against my ear.

"Am I dreaming?" I whispered.

"I wish you were." The voice whispered back.

I slowly turned onto my other side to face him, afraid that he would disappear if I moved too quickly. My hand trembled as I reached into the darkness groping around to find his face. He held his hand out and took mine and guided it to his cheek for me and laid it softly against his cold skin.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry," I said sadly.

"It's alright love, it's probably better for both of us if I'm this way." He said calmly, but I could detect the disappointment in his tone.

"I want to see you." I demanded.

"I…wouldn't recommend it." He said uneasily.

"What happened?" I whispered, "What happened to Gordon Scott and the others?"

"We took care of them." He answered softly, kissing my wrist gently.

"How did you change so fast? I thought it took days." I blurted out.

I felt him shift his position slightly and drop my hand from his face. "I'm not sure, I think it was the" he swallowed hard, "…the blood. I think it accelerated the process."

"Glad I could help." I said proudly.

"Bella," he said in a very serious voice, "that was by far the dumbest thing you have ever done. What were you thinking?" He sounded angry, "you could have been killed."

"You were dying." I said quietly.

"_You_ could have died, I could have killed you."

"You wouldn't have."

"Your faith in me never ceases to amaze." He murmured, running a finger along my forearm.

I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed him in my arms, I needed to feel him against me, warm or cold, heartbeat or no heartbeat, I didn't care, I needed to be as close to him as possible. I squirmed up against him and wrapped my arms around his neck and hitched a leg over his hip. He was freezing and hard, a rock I could break myself against, but I didn't care, he was my Edward and he was here with me again. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him, his scent was the same as it always had been, sweet and intoxicating and more pronounced than I had expected. I rubbed my face against his clean shirt and felt his nose in my hair, I wondered if he was having the same sensory overload as I was having.

His next gesture assured me that he was as he slowly pushed him away from him.

"No, Edward, no!" I protested loudly, "not this again, it can't go back to being like this."

"It has to for right now." He whispered tensely, "I'm sorry Bella, I just need some space for a little while. Just for a little while, just until, your…blood is out of my system." He assured me rapidly, touching my shoulders frantically.

I understood what he needed, just like I always had in the past, but that didn't make it any easier, I had just witnessed the torture and death of Edward Cullen, and now that he was okay, I couldn't be with him. It was the same story it had always been. I longed for his human alter ego to be back.

"Okay." I sighed, "I understand. You're right, just being near me is probably too much for you right now. Am I right?" I asked turning my back to him, trying not to burst into tears.

"I'm sorry love," he murmured behind me.

"Its fine, maybe I _should_ leave you alone for awhile." I said sadly, getting up and preparing to leave. I took three steps toward the door and started to fall to the ground, dizzy. Edward was beside me and catching me faster than I could bat an eye. He lifted me up and carried me back to the bed and placed me down, bringing the blankets over me.

He knelt on the floor beside the bed and ran his cool fingers across my forehead, smoothing my hair out of the way.

"Let me see you." I pleaded.

He sighed and got up and reached for the bedside lamp and clicked it on and settled back on the floor beside the bed. I sat up in bed slowly so as not to upset my balance or Edward, I studied him closely. Gone were the laugh lines and occasional stubble I had gotten used to over the past six months, gone were his soft brilliant green eyes that lit up every time he saw me. His skin was perfect and smooth and ageless and his eyes were a harsh, frightening, maroon color behind his thick black lashes.

"They'll change back in a few days I promise." He said as he noticed me looking at his eyes. Then for the first time in his new form, he flashed me his absurdly charming crooked smile, and I saw Edward again.

"You look like some kind of freak." I teased, smiling at him.

"You're the freak, he said grinning widely, "You've got 57 varieties of blood swirling around in you now."

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

He reached toward me and pulled out my maimed wrist and flipped it up so I could see. I was right, there was no wound left from where the glass had cut me, there wasn't even a scar. "It works topically, but apparently systemically, it's lost its' potency and is just like regular blood now. This is too bad because if anyone could use blood that has healing properties, it'd be you Isabella Swan." He said with a smirk.

"This is your blood?" I asked.

"You needed a transfusion, immediately, and we couldn't very well take you to a hospital and tell them you survived a vampire attack could we? Besides, now you'll have to marry me." He said nonchalantly.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?"

"I know so." He said confidently.

"What if I say no?" I chided.

"Well, then I suppose I'll have to take my blood back." He said raising an eyebrow at me.

I smirked at him and he leaned forward as I sat patiently, unmoving against the pillows. "I thought you needed space." I breathed, holding my breath in anticipation.

He shut his red eyes and gently placed his lips against mine taking my bottom lip in his mouth, kissing me softly. His eyes flickered open and he watched me watching him. I felt my pulse quicken and my cheeks flush as placed his mouth over me and kissed me deeply, letting his tongue slip into my mouth. I reached my hands toward him and found his waist, pulling him up off the floor. I felt him touch the sides of my face and he climbed into the bed, straddling me. I curled my hands around his waist more tightly and let them slide lazily under his shirt, touching his granite skin. He pulled his face away from mine and stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time all over again.

"Thank you for saving my life Bella." He said in a warm voice that reminded me of dripping honey. "Now in more ways than one," he added with a smile.

"I knew I'd return the favor to you someday." I said running my fingers up and down his spine.

"You did that long before any of this happened love. Believe me."


	50. Chapter 50 Paso Doble

**I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters**

**Thank you everyone for all the great comments and support, I'm so glad that you liked this story. I absolutely loved every obsessive minute of writing it and am so glad I decided to share it with you all. I wish I could have written more, but all good things must come to an end I suppose, so here's the final chapter.**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 50**

**Paso' Doble'**

"I can't believe you are all making me do this." I grumbled as I sat in front of the giant square mirror in Alice's bedroom. "Rosalie doesn't even like me." I said nervously crossing my arms over my chest.

"Bella, it's going to be fine, you look fantastic and by the time I'm done with you, you'll be ready to be featured on the cover of some kind of ballroom dancing magazine." Alice purred as she gathered my hair tightly with yet another bobby pin.

It was Emmett and Rosalie's wedding day, again, and this time they had a Spanish theme going. According to Edward, one time they had a renaissance theme, another time, to Rosalie's dismay, they had a sports theme and this time, they had come to a compromise and today's ceremony had a Spanish theme in honor of their pending honeymoon to Pamplona. The food, the music, the ceremony; all Spanish and the colors for the wedding were black, red and gold. Rosalie planned to wear some kind of dark lacey gown and Alice, Esme and I had to wear red gowns. To this day I didn't understand why I was being included in the wedding at all because I had always felt that Rosalie didn't hate me, but certainly disliked me. I assumed Emmett had something to do with it, being that Edward was his best man and all.

"Of course Rosalie likes you." Alice chirped as she applied more hair spray to my curls.

"Alice, please don't patronize me. Why couldn't I have just come as a guest? I could have found something nice to wear, as opposed to, this." I said gesturing at the long slit up the side of my dress.

"Bella, you're family, whether you like it or not, when you and Edward get married someday…"

"Hey now, don't start with any of that," I said holding up a hand, "I'm just a freshman in college, I'm not getting married for a long time if I can avoid it."

"We'll just see about that." Alice sung with a smirk, tightening another hair pin against my sore scalp. I swore I had to be bleeding somewhere. "There!" She said in a satisfied tone, "No, wait, I forgot the mascara!"

"Ugh Alice come on! We're going to be late." I said irritated as she whipped out the mascara wand from a Maybelline bottle.

"We're going to be right on time." She assured me as she tapped on her forehead with a garishly red painted fingernail.

"Okay, now we're ready, honestly Bella, you act like this is no fun at all!"

"It's not Alice, okay? I want my jeans and my pumas."

"Bella, come on, you're telling me that it's not fun to look like this sometimes?" She said helping me out of the chair and standing me in front of the full length mirror.

When I saw my reflection, I was astonished. The dress was tailored perfectly to my figure. Alice had perfected it in some way that I looked like I actually had hips and boobs, I looked, sexy. Each of us had to wear red gowns that were designed for our body type and Alice had done some serious work with mine. Esme's was very elegant and classy with ¾ length chiffon sleeves and a flowing train. Alice's gown was tea cup length for her short stature with a halter type top and she had a huge flower pinned behind her ear with her spiky hair slicked back. Because I had long legs, my dress was floor length. The top was almost like a bustier with spaghetti straps and there was a long slit down the left side of the dress. I kicked my leg out to the side and looked at it in the mirror with the high black strappy pumps that matched it. I didn't even recognize the leg or the foot at the end of it with the perfectly pedicured nails painted black.

"Do you like?" Alice asked grinning.

I turned around in disbelief in the mirror; my hair was still down but pinned and curled softly in places that made it look different and more manicured. "Okay, so this isn't too shabby." I admitted, excited to be looking more like a Bond girl than a band girl for once.

"Edward's going to go nuts," she giggled with excitement clapping her hands together. Everything was a game and a production for Alice, she loved the big reveal, probably more than I did and I was the one being revealed. She spent most of her free time trying to think of ways to push the boundaries with Edward and me physically. If she only knew what had gone down in Alaska, oh wait, she probably did. I felt my cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment.

"Okay! Now we need to get going or else we are going to be late." Alice instructed, taking my hand and leading me out of her room, grabbing our bouquets on the way. Jasper was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with Esme.

"Where are Edward and Emmet?" Alice asked, descending the steps as elegantly as a movie star.

"They're already outside, Emmet was nervous, he needed some air." Jasper replied calmly.

"Hasn't he done this like twenty times before?" I asked making my way very carefully down the steps, waiting for my dress to snag on my enormous shoes and send me flying down the staircase into Jasper's toned arms.

Jasper, being the southern gentleman he was, hurried up the stairs and gave me his arm. "He tends to get nervous and forget his vows, this is why they've gotten married so many times, Rosalie is insistent on having the perfect wedding someday." He explained.

"Where's Rose?" I asked.

"She's out there with him, trying to calm him down."

"Maybe that's the problem, maybe her being there makes him nervous, isn't it a tradition that the bride and groom aren't allowed to see one another before the wedding?" I asked trying to distract my mind from the fact that I would have to publicly walk in these atrocious shoes.

"We're not exactly traditional." Jasper said helping me down the last step.

"Clearly," I whispered as we entered the garden behind the back of the house. The whole yard had been transformed into a beautiful scene of color. Everywhere you turned there were exotic red and orange flowers. There was a dance floor set up in the middle of the yard surrounded by scores of round tables and chairs with lavish linens and center pieces. The alter was beautiful and the aisle had a thick black satin walkway lined with red roses, it was all so extravagant, but never lacking in taste or elegance.

Emmett suddenly appeared next to Jasper and Alice, looking like he was in a state.

"Rose is really mad at me," he explained.

"Why?" I asked, suddenly feeling very bad for him.

"I don't know, she just is, something about the centerpieces and the music, there really is no pleasing her." He babbled, wringing his hands together. He looked so handsome, in his flat black suit with a crisp red shirt and black tie. It was a nice change from the regular jock type clothing he always wore. The expression on his face was priceless as Jasper spoke kind words to him and tried to settle his mood. Alice patted him gently on the back and Esme took off somewhere to look for Rose.

I stood back and watched the three of them together with so much affection for one another; I loved all of them so very much. I hoped that someday I could expect the same from them on my wedding day however far away that may be. I knew I could. I smiled warmly at them at the thought of it, when my thought was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. My smile grew wider as I slowly turned around.

If I thought Emmet looked handsome, then Edward must have looked like a God. He stood behind me, his six foot something stature towering over mine in the same suit as Emmet and Jasper, red shirt, black tie, and sunglasses. Even after months, the red still hadn't cleared from his eyes; he was starting to feel self conscious.

"Hello Edward." I said smiling.

"Hello love." He replied, trying to control the wide grin that was spreading across his face.

"What?" I asked in a throatier voice than I had planned.

"That is, that dress is something else. You look like nothing I've ever seen before."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.

"It's a very, very good thing." He said raising an eyebrow and cocking his head toward the slit in the dress that the breeze in the air was blowing open.

I tilted my head up to for him to kiss me; the only advantage of these heels was that I could almost reach his face, but not quite. He leaned over and kissed me sweetly on the lips. I touched the side of his sunglasses and tried to cheer him up, "just think, at least your eyes match your suit now."

"Very funny," he retorted sarcastically. "But actually, they don't," he said taking off the sunglasses and folding them in his pocket. His eyes were a brilliant topaz color, filled with light and warmth.

"Hey you're back," I said happily staring deep into his face.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked.

"It's a very, very good thing." I whispered kissing his cheek.

The actual ceremony went quite well actually, Emmett only stumbled on his vows once, which meant that he and Rosalie would be getting married again sometime, but as far as today went, good enough was good enough. She agreed to marry him again, so I suppose that was a positive thing. During the vows I looked up to watch them. Naturally, everyone's eyes were locked on Rosalie and Emmett, with the exception of one person; Edward, his eyes were set on me the entire time. I shyly glanced up at him behind my flowers and he smiled at me. I wondered what would lie ahead for us. I wondered if he would keep his major at school or if I would keep mine, I wondered if it would ever be possible for us to have children or be with one another ever again. I wished I could have it all with him, of course now this put the option of me becoming a vampire on the table again, but as it had once been my primary motivation in keeping my life with Edward, it wasn't as urgent now. I didn't know why, but things were just different between us now, in a good way. I felt closer to him, I felt like his equal, and I felt like boundaries that had been set between us at one point, physically, emotionally, mentally, weren't as oppressive. I hoped he felt the same way. He was still watching me when the justice asked for Emmett and Rosalie's rings, Edward didn't seem to notice anyone was speaking to him, at least not until Emmett reached over and punched him. Then he gave up the rings quite quickly, glaring at Emmett like he planned to get him back later.

It wasn't the dress, the shoes or the excessive makeup and increase in my carbon footprint that the hair products caused that bothered me. No, it was none of those things. What bothered me was the fact that I had to do the Paso' Doble' with Edward as part of Emmett and Rose's wedding gift. As soon as we had returned to Forks and heard about the wedding, Edward immediately signed us up for dance lessons at the local studio, more for my benefit than his. If ever I wanted to kill a vampire, it would have been at the very moment I found that out. I thought Jacob and Charlie would bust a gut laughing at me when they found out that I would be spending the summer taking ballroom dancing lessons. But, it meant so much to Edward and his family that I participate in the wedding, and I knew that he would have done it for me if I had asked. So, therefore, I obliged; begrudgingly. To my surprise, I was a mediocre ballroom dancer, which is much more than I had expected, given my track record with balance and coordination.

We had come back to Forks in the middle of June. Alice had seen what happened between Edward and Gordon Scott beforehand and she had tried to call and warn us that night. Clearly, we didn't get the message in time. Alice told everyone else what was going to happen and that when Edward and I came home he would be changed again.

When our flight arrived, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were waiting. Charlie had to work, which was just as well, because I felt as if Edward needed to be alone with his family. Alice was the first to see him and as soon as his feet touched the ground, she ran into his arms drowning him with embraces and kisses. Jasper followed behind, trying to feel out the emotion that was rolling off Edward in waves; he was disappointed and Jasper did what he could with it. Carlisle was supportive and stoic as always, trying to look on the bright side of things and Esme was a wreck, if she could have wept for him she would have. She told him how sorry she was about what had happened, and Edward put on his bravest face and acted like it didn't bother him.

It did bother him though. For weeks he moped around, spending more time away from me than usual, which made me very concerned. He became increasingly withdrawn, to the point where I almost said something to him about it. I remember, it was the last few days of June, I hadn't seen or heard from Edward for days and I had planned on calling him that night. I worked all day, came home and had dinner with Charlie and followed my usual bedtime routine with the showering and the pajamas and the brushing of the teeth. I walked into my bedroom ready to call him, and gasped out loud. Edward was lounging carelessly in my bed, waiting for me. He smiled crookedly at me and didn't say anything significant, he just said hello and gestured for me to sit with him. I had expected him to go into some long explanation on how he was feeling and why he had been acting so strangely, but it never came. Instead he announced that Emmett and Rose were getting married again and we were starting dancing lessons the next day because they wanted me to be in the wedding.

And so, here we were, one slow song away from the Paso' Doble' and I felt like I was going to vomit. I nervously paced along the edge of the dance floor that was positioned in the middle of the Cullen's sprawling property, waiting for Edward to come back from some stupid errand that Rose had sent him on inside the house. Carlisle and Esme were together, dancing smoothly and beautifully in the center of the floor and Emmett and Rose were on their way in to join them. I continued to pace, my heels clicking against the floor and my heartbeat getting faster as the anticipation of the next dance began to get the best of me. I turned and started toward the house, I needed a minute to compose myself. I reached the edge of the patio closest to the back door, when Edward stepped out of the house carrying something, it looked like a shawl.

"Where exactly do you think you're going?" He asked stepping in front of the door, blocking my only entry into the house.

"To the bathroom," I said unconvincingly; as my statement sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Really?" He prodded, widening his stance as I tried to get around him.

"Yes." I said boldly, sticking my chin out obstinately.

"Bella," he teased disapprovingly.

"I don't understand why I need to participate in this." I argued trying not to become hypnotized by his golden stare.

"Are you really that nervous?" He chuckled.

"Um, yeah." I replied in a very obvious tone, crossing my arms across my chest.

"You don't need to be." He said softly, running his thumb over the edge of my face. I continued to stare at him meaningfully, and he very slowly, very carefully put his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him. The slow song that was playing on the other side of the house quietly echoed around us. He kept one arm around my waist and took my hand in his other hand and swayed slowly to the sound of the music. He leaned the side of his face against mine and kissed me gently on the earlobe. I kept my face close to his shoulder and breathed in his hauntingly sweet scent that always eased my tension.

"Edward,"

"Yes Bella?"

"What's going to happen now?" I asked softly into his ear swaying against him.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

"I don't want things to go back to the way they were before we left for Alaska." I whispered, my voice trembling slightly. I had no idea if he would understand my meaning; I figured he probably wouldn't because Edward did not usually think the same way I did.

"I don't either." He murmured. So he did understand my meaning, were his fears the same as mine? I had to know.

I had never had so much difficulty putting my thoughts into words for him as I had at that moment. "I feel very close to you, closer than before. I feel as if in the past year, we reached some kind of…" my voice trailed off.

"Equilibrium" he breathed against me.

"Yes." I whispered in agreement.

He pulled back from me a little and stared into my eyes, he looked like he was trying to figure something out. "Nothing will change between you and me, Bella."

"I really liked doing human stuff with you." I said my eyes still locked on his.

"I did too love. It was my favorite part, doing the little things."

"I suppose you don't need to go to the gym anymore." I said rolling my eyes.

"No, I suppose not." He chuckled, "but I still will if you want me to."

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course." He said pulling me back against the front of him. I breathed in and leaned my cheek against his chest. I heard no heartbeat and I suddenly felt overwhelmed with sadness. He kissed the top of my head sweetly and became very still. He sighed loudly, and I felt a strand of my hair blow around in response to his exasperation. "I'll go to the gym with you and run. Even if it means I have to keep at a human's pace. How dull." He grumbled, trying to keep the mood light. "Only on the condition that you climb a few trees with me and let me stay in your room at night."

"I suppose I'd be alright with that." I replied.

"Good," he said smiling crookedly at me, "I really wasn't going to give you much choice in the matter anyhow."

"I figured you wouldn't."

"Speaking of choices, you owe me a dance, a real dance."

I sighed wearily, "Fine, we might as well get this over with." I started toward the back yard, leaving Edward several strides behind me.

"Please try to curb your enthusiasm Bella." He called behind me, within a nanosecond he was by my side tugging on my arm. I whirled around and stared at him, "you look absolutely beautiful by the way." He said looking me over one last time before walking me to the dance floor. "Good enough to eat actually," he added, quirking an eyebrow suggestively.

I raised an eyebrow back at him and tousled my hair roughly with my free hand, "you can save comments like that for later, Mr. Cullen." I teased in my huskiest tone.

"Yes ma'am," he answered with a smirk.

Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were already all situated around the dance floor; Rose and Emmett were in the middle. Edward and I took our spot at the bottom right hand corner of the floor. It was too bad that I had to spend most of my energy concentrating, I would have loved to see if Emmett had any rhythm, being as big and athletic as he was. But who was I kidding? He was a vampire, of course he was probably good at everything, just like the rest of his family, but I still thought I would get a kick out of watching him.

The music was about to begin and I felt Edward's arm tighten around my waist, almost to the point of being too snug. I quickly went over everything in my brain that the dance teacher had taught us, or rather, me. Posture was very important, I straightened my back as best as I could and stuck my chest out. Control, control was important too, no flippant movements, that was more the job of the lead, and as we all knew, Edward had plenty of control. I couldn't remember the last rule, and the music had begun, I quickly shifted gears in my head and started to move my feet.

The story that is being told with the Paso' Doble' is that of a matador and his cape, from what the teacher told me, and I was the cape. It was supposed to be a very angry, passionate, emotionally charged dance, and that was made very clear as Edward snapped me back and forth to the point where I was starting to feel a little feisty.

When I was close enough to his face for him to hear me and not everyone else, I tested my limits. "So, does this mean your previous offer is on the table again?"

"And what offer was that?" He whispered harshly, pulling me hard against him.

"The one where I get to become like you." I said throwing one of my legs against his hip.

His face remained hard and composed as he caught my leg and ran his hand slowly down the back of my thigh. "I don't recall that offer ever being on the table." He said with a seductive smirk.

"Really?" I asked in a throaty voice as I pressed my chest against his. "I could have sworn."

Now came a very tense face off in the piece, Edward's face remained very serious and poised, but his eyes were fiery and open and nearly boring a hole through me, I refused to back down and held his stare.

"No." he said sternly as I swiveled my hips and landed on his right side.

"Yes." I said as he swiveled his hips and landed on my left side.

"No."

"Yes."

Before he could say no again the song hit a point where I had to spin away from him. The end of the song was coming, and I felt as if I were winning this friendly argument, simply because for now, I had gotten the last word in. But at the end of the dance, the matador always wins and I knew Edward was just biding his time, like he always did. He pulled me into him one last time; a triumphant and sultry look had overtaken not only his beautiful face, but his fantastic body as well. He pressed me against him and then with more grace and swiftness than I could comprehend, he pulled me back and down, dipping me almost to the floor, his strong arms cradling me like the most fragile of things the whole time.

He lowered his face close to my neck and with a dark smile said quietly, "Ole'." The music stopped and I felt his smooth, cool lips against my skin as he kissed me.

"You know," I alluded, trying to remain competent as he moved his mouth down my neck, "in the end, I always get what I want. I just go about it in a very quiet way." I stated running my fingers through his hair.

"What makes you think so this time?" He purred, his scent thick and swoon inducing.

I knotted my fingers around his hair and lifted his head away from me for a moment and staring deeply into his topaz eyes murmured, "Equilibrium."

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